Going For The Gotcha: The Big Damaging Difference Between Verifying and Validating Your Partner

Are you wrong every time you turn around? Does your partner--or mother--have to win in every conversation?

Someone who has to be right all the time is verifying, not validating. That can not only be infuriating and frustrating, it's nasty!

Sound familiar? Is there someone in your life who always thinks they have the facts. They remember events better than you. Know what you should do?

That's gaslighting! When another person wants to define your reality for you--tell you what you want, think, need, feel, remember, that's gaslighting. They want to be in control of your experiences and responses in life, and that is taking away a basic right you have!

Oxford dictionary:

Verify: to make sure or demonstrate that something is true, accurate, justified

Validate: to recognize or affirm the worth of a person or their feelings or opinions; cause a person to feel valued or worthwhile

Big difference! Are you asking "What's going on in my relationships?" This could be it. Get tips for making it stop.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why you feel frustrated in your relations
• Understanding the difference between being verified and validated
• Why being verifying is a game of one upmanship
• Knowing how it feels to be validated
• Understand that being validated in a relationship is healthy
• You are not weak or needy to want to be and feel validated in your close relationships

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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