Satansplain

The Church of Satan's FAQ has been expanded with the frequently asked questions (and answers) concerning Satanism and atheism. A comprehensive essay is also now available. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Church of Satan FAQ on atheism: https://churchofsatan.com/faq-replies-for-atheists/ New essay, "On the Misconceptions of Atheism and Satanism": https://churchofsatan.com/on-the-misconceptions-of-atheism-and-satanism/ Satansplain episode #016: https://satansplain.com/episodes/episode-016/ 00:00 - Intro 01:29 - Satansplain 101, and the 80-20 Rule 05:57 - "Hey, could you send us pamphlets to upset the fundies?" 06:45 - "How can you be an atheist and a Satanist?" 07:51 - "If you Satanists are atheists, then why not just call yourselves 'atheists'?" 09:10 - "Is Satanism a religion? Is it a type of atheism? How can Satanism be a religion if Satanists don't believe in any deities?" 11:18 - "What is the COS doing to fight for [insert favorite cause]?" 14:39 - "How can you be atheists if you believe in magick?" 16:12 - "Wasn't Satanism INVENTED specifically to troll Christians?" 21:50 - Satanecdote: Priest burger 24:44 - Side rant: fast food workers 27:21 - "Is Satanism just Ayn Rand's Objectivism, plus ritual? Didn't LaVey say that?" 29:57 - "Different denominations?" 35:58 - "Was Anton LaVey really a deist or secret theist? And then did Peter H. Gilmore decidedly change Satanism to be atheistic instead?" 39:52 - "Isn't it wrong to say you're atheists if it's possible to be agnostic/deist/apatheist? And how can you be both I-theist and atheist?"

As the Church of Satan approaches its diamond year anniversary, a new stylized rendering of the Sigil of Baphomet is presented. Hear more about the sigil, equinoxes, the false notion of Satanic victims, and some odd listener mail. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support More on the Sigil of Baphomet: https://churchofsatan.com/history-sigil-of-baphomet/ Spring message: https://churchofsatan.com/exquisite-equinox-spring-2026/ 00:00 - Intro 02:10 - Equinox 2026 essay / Satanic Holidays 06:50 - More on the origin of the sigil 13:35 - Rest of the equinox message 14:27 - Satanic Victims? (essay by Magister Michael Rose) 21:02 - The letter - the thoughtful part and The Satanic Bible 27:46 - Being solipsistic with screaming Satanism 33:52 - And now the P.S.

"Why are you a Satanist? It's a good question to ask yourself from time to time." We'll explore Magistra Blanche Barton's essay which opens with this line, along with "Satanism discussion" forums that don't have much in the way of Satanists nor discussion, and finding ones which do. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:16 - "Best of" the "hurr durr" voice? 02:39 - Satanecdote: Discord Drama 07:03 - But wait, it gets worse! 12:02 - More about Satanism forums 25:51 - About Blanche Barton 27:04 - About Blanche Barton's "Why Are You a Satanist?" 29:14 - "Why Are You A Satanist?" 32:30 - Essay, continued 39:46 - Closing thoughts

Answering emails regarding fake "Church of Satan" pages, Satanic rituals for equinoxes and solstices, weirdos obsessed with Anton LaVey's ethnicity, and advice for young Satanists. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Youth Communique: https://churchofsatan.com/satanic-youth-communique/ 00:00 - Intro 01:07 - Dealing with fake "Church of Satan" channels 08:06 - Rituals for equinoxes, solstices, etc? 16:58 - Satanecdote: the holy water bottle 22:45 - "Does Satanism support Jews? I need to know!" Um, what? 35:50 - Advice for young Satanists

"The Satanic Rituals" (Anton LaVey's 1972 companion book to "The Satanic Bible"), presents many group rituals for Satanists. These rituals can however be adopted for solitary use as well. This episode also addresses some misconceptions regarding the role of ritual in Satanism, and answering listener questions about the Enochian Keys. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:17 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion 04:52 - Yes, we have ritual 08:44 - Reminder: ALL religion ritual is "LARPing" 09:45 - Group rituals 12:45 - Using TSR for solitary rituals 15:34 - Breaking down "Pilgrims of the Age of Fire - The Statement of Shaitan" 22:08 - Shaving the head with water from the Zamzam? 27:32 - The ritual, continued 32:28 - The importance of going through the motions / more details 39:54 - Enochian Keys 50:33 - Using other languages for the translation 51:33 - More on Enochian Keys

What constitutes "Satanic music"? It's certainly not all about heavy metal. But in this episode, we'll explore why people make that association, along with many other Satanic angles to the topic of music, and also share some relevant writings from Anton Szandor LaVey. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 03:15 - Heavy metal? 08:22 - The "horns" gesture 14:29 - No, it's not all that Satanic 16:12 - Church of Satan's answer on Montel Williams 20:57 - Quote from Satan Speaks 27:10 - What is Satanic Music? 30:57 - Yes, We Have No Bananas, Hipsters 34:21 - Pre-rock music with devil themes 41:27 - Satanic Music parameters? 46:46 - Evocation / Music for the Ritual Chamber

Satansplain answers questions about greater magic, Satanic Sin #9, relationships with non-Satanists, and the myth of Satanic "denominations". Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 02:42 - Satanecdote: Getting a synthesizer 08:24 - We don't spell "magic" with a "k" 12:55 - Lack of Aesthetics for a blind man 24:32 - Christian fiancé? 33:04 - The myth of Satanic "denominations", redux 38:06 - Does Cevin Soling's group even HAVE a religion? 42:53 - "But why do YOU get to define it?" 46:14 - We don't need Satanism denominations

Satansplain continues the exploration of the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 2, sins number 4 through 9 will be examined. The Nine Satanic Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/ Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:27 - Satanic Sin #4: Self-deceit 08:45 - Satanic Sin #5: Herd conformity 14:28 - Satanic Sin #6: Lack of Perspective 30:05 - Satanic Sin #7: Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies 33:15 - Satanic Sin #8: Counterproductive Pride 40:10 - Satanic Sin #9: Lack of Aesthetics 44:15 - Objective standards of beauty

Satansplain presents a look at the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 1, we'll learn where the list comes from, why the list is part of Satanism, and an examination of sins number 1, 2, and 3. The 9 Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/ Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:49 - Note to the Christian dorks who can't read 03:12 - About the 9 Satanic Sins 07:47 - More about the sins 14:38 - Satanic Sin #1: Stupidity 17:52 - Religious people are stupid? It's not quite that simple. 25:36 - Satanecdote and Rosemary's Baby 28:43 - Satanic Sin #2: Pretentiousness (and why I-Theism is not pretentiousness) 33:56 - Satanic Sin #3: Solipsism (which is not the same as selfishness)

"The only proper response to them is no response!" Or is it? A look into selective debate engagement and the people who fear it. Also, two recent examples of channels desperate to name-drop the Church of Satan for rage bait, and the end result. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:43 - "Don't respond to trolls! Ever!", they say 05:00 - No, there are sometimes good reasons: 1) Wrath 09:29 - 2) It's fun 10:28 - 3) Sharpening the Intellect 11:54 - 4) The audience 15:19 - Further thoughts 23:37 - Lisa Barlow's tequila and Church of Satan Magister David Harris's reply 29:37 - Satanecdote: LibsofTikTok stupidity (no, we're not located in Canada)

Satansplain #103 - Yes, We Have No Occultism A look at the essay, "Yes, We Have No Occultism", distinguishing Satanism from the occult religions. Also a Satanic anecdote about non-Satanists and Satanists at a Halloween concert, plus answers to questions about goodguy badges, life and death, and atheism and the human need for religion. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:05 - "Yes, We Have No Occultism" by Magus Peter H. Gilmore 09:04 - Mixing Satanism with other things 14:35 - Satanic Anecdote (Devil's Night 2025, Tampa FL) 21:08 - DeFacto and Pseudo Satanism 24:34 - Goodguy badge vs. charity of Satanists 30:39 - Fearing Death 34:04 - Atheists converting to Christianity 39:00 - And for those "How can you be I-theist and atheist?" people out there 40:51 - More on atheists converting

Demons and werewolves on Halloween! Answering listener questions about Satanic ritual, Anton LaVey's essay on lycanthropy, and the human need to "demonize" selected people. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 00:57 - Halloween and the importance of dedicated days 05:05 - Bill's Halloween 08:00 - Parchment Burning 10:36 - Destruction ritual, Enochian keys, reminder on why 15:48 - Reminder: Accepting intellectually is not the same as accepting emotionally 24:17 - Werewolves 29:34 - On "demonizing" political figures

Right-wing Christian journalist Mary Brooke tries quoting Satansplain for her wild conspiracy theories about Satanism, furries, and Charlie Kirk. Meanwhile, equally annoying left-wing people are throwing fits over a politically incorrect video of Anton LaVey. Satansplain addresses both, along with answering listener mail about the previous two episodes of Satansplain, a reiteration on Satanism and politics, reflections on the landmark Satanism podcast Satanism Today, and also something the herd calls a tool of the Devil himself: mathematics. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:20 - On episodes 99 and 100 08:21 - Yes, Magister Bill is political. The Church of Satan is not, and for good reasons. 13:58 - Satanecdote: Mary Rooke's bizarre "furries + Satanism" obsession 31:24 - People Who Knew Anton LaVey 33:41 - Speak of the Devil "racist" clip 42:57 - William Seabrook book 43:57 - Questions about math 50:58 - Tips for Skill Improvement 54:49 - Answering More Math Questions 58:32 - Satanism Today (Magister David Harris' podcast)

In celebration of 100 episodes of Satansplain, Magister Bill sits down for a discussion with the Church of Satan High Priest himself, Magus Peter H. Gilmore. A variety of topics are covered, including Satanic ritual, supernatural versus supernormal, Anton LaVey's atheism, conspiracy theories about Satanism, meetings between Church of Satan members, and the applications of artificial intelligence from music composition to Satanic self-improvement. Official site: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain on locals: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Merch: https://store.satansplain.com 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:48 - Anton LaVey's atheism and the myth that the Church of Satan changed views on deities 00:08:01 - Satanic influences: William Seabrook 00:12:10 - Debunking the conspiracy theory of "When you reach the higher ranks, they worship Satan" 00:17:48 - Newcomers who carelessly dismiss the ritual half 00:21:45 - More on Satanic ritual 00:29:21 - Meeting Satanists offline 00:36:35 - Dim bulbs, lot lice, etc. 00:47:12 - More on dim bulbs 00:49:55 - A.I. and Satanism 00:54:56 - More on A.I. and musical composition 01:03:01 - Further A.I. applications for the Satanist 01:08:40 - Closing

Many people have been mourning the death of Charlie Kirk while others have been celebrating it. But perhaps there are some Satanic third side views to consider. Hear one Satanist's thoughts on Charlie Kirk and the impact of his assassination, along with a necessary recap on politics and Satanism. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Charlie Kirk's 2022 Newsweek article: https://www.newsweek.com/free-speech-satanism-opinion-1681893 00:00 - Intro 01:05 - Who was Charlie Kirk? 08:23 - Reminder about politics and Satanism 13:25 - Rubin Report Quote, and why I'm a right-leaning Satanist 16:35 - Capable of rational discourse vs. incapable 28:38 - The trouble with rage bait and confirmation bias 36:20 - Satanic Anecdote 40:15 - When I stopped following Charlie Kirk / 2022 Newsweek article 51:44 - Why The Satanic Temple is Abhorrent 56:41 - "We can and should use the law to shut down Satanism"?

Satansplain responds to listener mail on a variety of topics, including a Satanic look at Elon Musk, the power of A.I., the books The Satanic Witch and The Satanic Warlock, joining the Church of Satan, and also dealing with morons bent on "disproving" Anton LaVey's biography. Plus, a Satanic anecdote from the days of the Satanic Panic. Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 01:13 - Satanic Witch vs. Satanic Warlock 04:00 - Losers trying to "debunk" LaVey's biography 09:58 - Satanecdote (Possessed album) 14:59 - Church of Satan and Illegal Activity 21:54 - Elon Musk 27:01 - For the dorks with their hot takes on Elon who won't listen first 27:20 - Elon Musk (continued) 35:57 - Satanism and A.I.

Is there any actual evidence of a religion calling itself Satanism before the Church of Satan? We'll look at one Satanist's undercover journey to find such evidence from the people who insist it exists. Buy Warlock William Tull's horror anthology, "Cannibalia: A Feast of Horror and Suspense": https://a.co/d/dp5bCeB Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 00:00 - Intro 02:28 - Essay Intro: The Nature of the Internet 09:16 - The Plan 12:36 - Joining groups and posting a message 17:27 - The Experts 23:10 - The Experts, continued 25:28 - Remaining 3 Books 28:33 - The Sects 34:40 - The Scum 36:46 - Conclusion 41:10 - Bill's Closing Rant