SFR 3: Shakin' My Stalker - Prolific Style:)

All right, All right. Sorry, I'm in the car again, by the way. Usually I am in front of a nice microphone. Every once in a while when nice thought hits me and I'm like, "Oh my gosh. That's one of the core principals that I use." I decide I should probably share them with you. Anyways, I'm in the car driving and just thought I'd take the time.

Recently somebody asked me, I can't remember what they asked me, but this story from my past popped up, right. I had this stalker and sorry if she's listening to this, I seriously doubt it. I was in college and I had this stalker and everyone kind of knew it. I guess that's the thing about stalkers is they're not being subtle. She was showing up at our door in our apartment. She'd be like, "Hey, how's it going?" She was awkward about it. She'd be like, "Hey, yeah, so hi. Just wanted to come by and say hi and come say hi." You're like, Yeah you said it three times now. Then it'd be silent for a second and be like, yep because I wasn't interested. Then she'd be like, "See you."

I'd be like, "Okay, we're done today, this is good. See you tomorrow or tonight or some awkward time." Then she'd show up again, and be like, "Hey I made this t-shirt for you." I was like, "You made me a t-shirt?" I think I threw it away after she left. I felt bad. I was like I'm not going to wear this and keep this going. Another day she came by and was like, "Hey, I made you cookies." I was like, "Oh my gosh, you're not buying me with your dang cookies, although they're tasty and delicious."

Anyways, she went through this crazy elaborate scheme to ask me to this Jane Austin Ball thing that the campus was putting on. That's not something I would usually go to but I'm not going to say no. I wanted to be nice. I can't even remember what she did. Maybe is was another shirt, I can't even remember what it was. It was big and elaborate and it was extremely clear that she was going through this massive thing to go through the trouble to ask me to this dance in a really crazy way. I was like, "Yeah, sounds good." She was like, "That's all you're going to say is yes? I went through this huge thing you've got to say yes back in a really fun way." I was like, "Okay." I never did. She got all offended. She was like, "I get the feeling you're not interested in me." I was like, "That'd be right."

I decided what the heck, I'll answer back in a crazy way. I was like, what's something that I can do that's kind of out there, I promise this relates to business, what's something I can do that's borderline crazy but it's not like the typical thing but will totally get the thing across. I want her to think afterwards she'll never forget it but also put a little disgust in her brain. I was just walking around and I was like, maybe something will pop up today. I was at the grocery store, I was getting food for the next week. I was over by where the meat section is, the deli area. I see these salmon, whole salmon, they're huge. They had been gutted and cleaned and everything of course but huge salmon. I'm like I'm totally buying it. I don't even know what I'm going to use it for yet, but it's somehow involved.

I had this huge salmon and I bring it back to my apartment. This thing is frozen rock solid. I'm like, how am I going to use this for. All the sudden, I'm like, "This is it!" I went and I grabbed this knife and I start trying to chop off the tail part. This sounds a totally morbid but it was frozen solid so I had to leave it out until it was oozing a little bit. It was totally disgusting, smells a little bit. There was six of us in that apartment. I'm sure all the other guys were like, "What the heck is wrong with this kid?" I was telling them the idea though, they were like, "This is genius."

I sawed off the tail and then I took a piece of paper and I wrote on there, "Looks like you got me hooked." I put it inside of a plastic bag and I shoved in it inside of the tail through the part where you clean it all out. Basically, there was a note in this massive Salmon tail. I went and I got a coat hanger and I made a hook out of it and some dental floss and I tied the floss to the hook, then I hooked the tail onto the coat hanger so it looked like it was a fish hook. Then I went to her apartment door an I hung it in front of their door. As soon as they open their door, they see it. It took them a while to try to find it. It was hanging in the hot sun getting all nasty and dripping everywhere. Its' totally disgusting. I had no problem dropping her after this.

She opened the door. I was hiding and I heard her open the door and I hear her go, "Oh my gosh, what the freak is that? This is disgusting." She was looking at it, sees this little note sticking out. Opens it up and was like, "Looks like you hooked my tail" or something like that. She's like, "That's how you said yes?" I was like, "You're not my stalker anymore." I didn't say that. We went on the date and she still was like, "Don't be nervous if I want to touch you the whole night, I'm just really excited I'm on a date with you."

I was like, "Oh, no." She totally got the idea, especially after the fish thing. I never saw her again after that. It's kind of a big long story. I ended up taking the other part of the Salmon and cooking it for a girl that I was actually interested in and totally impressed her and it was awesome.

Anyways, what's the whole point of that story? That sometimes you have to lose people. You don't have to be mean about it. I'm not saying you've got to do crazy stuff. Here's what the lesson is, you've got to be prolific. The question I started asking myself to make that whole thing happen was, "How can I be prolific?" Which is not crazy, but not mainstream. It's that in between stage. The only marketers that actually do anything with a lot of traction, do something prolific. You think of dollar shave club. Their marketing is pretty raw. Stuff like Carl's Jr., I'm not condoning anything that any of these people do but if you just look at what they're doing, they're prolific. They're doing things that are out of the norm.

If I'm going to go pitch someone and try to get them to buy, I might as well make them laugh, or shock them, or do something that's gong to be memorable because I'm sucking up their time. I guarantee she remembers that stupid salmon fish tail and understands that I'm just not interested, stop pursuing me, you're waisting your time. I guarantee she remembers that. Every one of my friends remember that. It was a little bit prolific especially for the dating world.

I keep giving all these dating examples so I'll give one more. I came back home in between semesters for Christmas. I came home and I was actually at church. Goes to show what was on my head by going to church this time. I go to church I sat down in front of this girl. I was like, "Dang, who is that? She is hot. Holy crap." I sit down and my brother is with me. I was like, "Did you see her?" He was like, "Freak yeah man. Holy smokes." Anyways took me a little bit of guts to work up the courage to ask her out and things like that because she's hot. I was making sure I had my buff stuff on.

I went and I asked her on a date. I was like, "I've got to do something on this date that's going to be really cool. Something that's not mainstream." It's really funny thinking about it, I never realized that I was asking that same question. Something that's not mainstream, something that's a little bit crazy. I want to get her out of there comfort zone a little bit just so she knows I'm a little bit nuts sometimes and she's got to know this is part of the package and I like to be out there sometimes. I was like, "All right, what are we going to go do"

I picked her up on the date, and I was like, "We're first going to go to Goodwill." Which was like Desert Industries or something like that. We're going to go buy anything in there tha...