Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast

Guan Yu does a couple huge favors for Cao Cao and then discovers Liu Bei’s whereabouts.

As Guan Yu prepares to fight to the death against Cao Cao, an old friend gives him three reasons why that is a bad idea and three reasons for surrendering instead. Guan Yu responds with three conditions.

We take a look at the history of the more-trouble-than-it’s-worth imperial hereditary seal that everyone wants and everyone seems to regret getting.

Dong Cheng and company demonstrate how not to run a conspiracy.

While one of Cao Cao’s old enemies submit, he gets trolled by a new thorn in his side who just won’t shut up.

We saw Lü Bu exit stage left a couple episodes back. In this supplemental episode, we take a look at the historical Lü Bu versus his fictional counterpart.

Liu Bei gets out of the capital and does not look back. Yuan Shu becomes distraught after discovering the scarcity of honey.

Liu Bei develops a sudden interest in horticulture, while Cao Cao wonders out loud, “Who’s a hero?”

With Cao Cao baring his imperial ambitions for all to see, the emperor does the only thing he can — give his brother-in-law a spiffy outfit.

While Chen Gong tries to help Lü Bu hold off Cao Cao, Chen Deng and Chen Gui run circles around them.

No new episodes until the new year, but listen to this brief announcement for some important info and holiday wishes.

Cao Cao’s awesomeness draws much fawning from his adviser Guo Jia, while the people of Xu Province express their love for Liu Bei through cannibalism.

Who’s more likely to lose his head in this episode: impostor emperor or granary officer? The answer may surprise you.

Cao Cao decides that he hates Lü Bu more than he hates Liu Bei, so “Liu Bei and I are like brothers.”

Sun Ce lifts off, Lü Bu shows off, and Yuan Shu gets ticked off.

Priceless imperial heirloom as collateral? Check. An old pal as your strategist? Check. Ability to kill by the mere sound of your voice? Check, check, and check.

Cao Cao deploys animal-themed schemes to sow discord between Liu Bei and Lü Bu.

The Han court hits rock bottom, at which point Cao Cao is all too happy to ride in and … umm … defend the honor and dignity of the throne. Yeah, that’s it.

Someone’s wife gets the wrong impression that her husband is cheating on her, and the next thing you know, we’re poisoning household pets, ingesting waste, burning palaces, and abducting everybody who’s anybody.

After spending his down time picking off some ragtag rebels, Cao Cao moves to reclaim his territory, which brings us to a good point to look back at what we have covered so far.

Cao Cao and Lü Bu face off for control of Yan Province in a back-and-forth attempt to out-trick and outfight each other. And then the locusts came ….

Everyone gears up for a fight with Cao Cao over Xu Province, and then all of a sudden it’s the province nobody wants.

Our old friend Cao Cao is expanding his operation. Want to join? You just need to either be a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of someone who already works there, or be a man-beast who kills dozens of coworkers with your bare hands over a disagreement.

Dong Zhuo learns that broken chariots, wild horses, and melancholy songs are, in fact, not auspicious signs.

Expertly manipulated by Diao Chan, Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo come to blows over who gets to go to bed with a 16-year-old.

Sun Jian leaves his son in charge, while Dong Zhuo leaves his son out in the cold for a pretty face.

Now that they are not fighting Dong Zhuo anymore, the former coalition leaders have to do something to occupy their time. What better way is there to avoid idleness than waging war against each other?

Dong Zhuo moves the capital and turns the journey into a traveling horror show as only Dong Zhuo can, while the coalition becomes distracted when it discovers the one thing of value that Dong Zhuo left behind.

The coalition forces are marching for the capital, but first, they will have to get past Dong Zhuo’s top generals. The result is two of the most famous battlefield encounters in Chinese lore.

It’s a busy episode for Cao Cao. He gets out of a sticky situation, screws himself out of a delicious pork dinner, drops some life wisdom on his traveling companion, and then stirs up a whole lot of trouble for Dong Zhuo.

As Dong Zhuo rises to power, he bestows endless kindness on all mankind. He’s doing such a great job, in fact, that someone decides to give him a beautiful, bejeweled knife with a razor-sharp edge while he was lying down with his back turned.

“Only with Yi Yin’s talent can you act like Yi Yin.” So who is this Yi Yin? We dive into the story behind one line of dialogue from episode 4.

We’ve had rebellions, palace intrigue, a deadly power struggle, and a bloodbath at the imperial residence. But all of that was just the warm-up act. We are finally getting into the meat of the story, starting with ascension of Dong Zhuo, who’s like Santa Claus, just less jolly and more stabby.

He Jin makes his officers bang their heads against walls with his pathological inability to dispose of the eunuchs. Meanwhile, a bit character from episode 1, Dong Zhuo, drops by the capital with 200,000 of his best friends, just to say hi and see what’s up.

Liu Bei discovers that landing a government job in the Han court takes connections, patience, and a lot of dead rebels. And that’s BEFORE the leeches start ransoming you for a bribe. Fortunately, Zhang Fei resolves the matter diplomatically.

The first episode finds the empire in turmoil and three men of valor vowing to do something about it.

A quick overview of what I’ll attempt to do with this podcast. You can also read this explanation instead.