Rick Thomas | Your Daily Drive

You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/interview-counseling-happen-church/ Can using the biblical soul care model in a small group setting address problems and accomplish discipleship in the local church.

One of the more common complaints I hear from spouses is when one of the partners in the marriage talk about being alone in the marriage. These lonely spouses perceive a seemingly invisible barrier between them. It's a level of communication they cannot move past. Read Here http://rickthomas.net/im-living-alone-in-my-marriage/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

If you knew of a person or a group of people were being deceived by someone, would you choose to mock them or their leader as a way to win them to the truth of God? Read here: http://rickthomas.net/its-unwise-and-unhelpful-to-mock-joel-osteen/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/something-must-come-between-us-or-were-going-to-kill-each-other/ Perhaps you get angry at your spouse, or your children, or certain acquaintances. Does the cross of Christ affect how you fight? Does it alter or temper your frustration toward others? Can you stand and take in the realities of the cross while easily and un-forgivingly convicting, judging, and condemning those who hurt you?

You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/white-guy-talks-black-guy-black-things/# I sat down with Darrell Harrison and interviewed him on race related topics that have been current and long-standing issues in our American culture. Darrell is a Christian black man who writes about race and culture.

The messiest place on earth outside our families should be the local church. Each family unit is a context where masks come off as our real selves are exposed to each other. The local church is a macro context of the micro family. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/five-ways-can-love-church/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

When a wife has been shaped by her past to be insecure marries a husband who is prone to harshness, their marriage will be an endless loop of relational collisions. The main responsibility is for the husband to learn how to build up his wife with his words rather than tear her down. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/the-insecure-wife-who-lives-with-the-harsh-husband/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

Mailbag Question: I would love to know more about how the biblical counseling movement understands and responds to Adlerian psychology, particularly its impact on modern “positive parent​ing” principles. In my reading, there are aspects I really enjoy about it, and others that drive me bonkers. Do you know of any good readings or teachings out there that gives a very thoughtful response to the good, the bad, and the ugly of modern uses of Adler’s ideas for parents? Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/psychologies-bow-foot-bible/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

I interviewed my friend, Pastor Mike Hawkins about his life, pastoring, counseling, and how our ministry intersects with his on a day-to-day basis. I have known Mike for a few years, and we have been in the trenches with many counseling situations. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/interview-pastor-thoughts-caring-others/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here? This is the third in a series of commentaries I’ll be writing on traditions and customs that, in my humble opinion, are doing damage to the missional purpose of what is commonly referred to as the “Black Church”. The objective of this series is not to denigrate any particular denomination, church, or individual, but to humbly address what I personally view as orthopraxy (orthodox practice) that is harmful to the Black Church as an institution and detrimental to the advancement of the Gospel in general. – Darrell Harrison

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/the-cure-for-the-distracted-heart/ What captured my attention first were the words Above all else. My imagination journeyed into a consideration about the seemingly absolute quality of those words. Those words wanted to make a broad and full sweep across the details of my daily life. The list of people, activities, personal engagements, responsibilities, and all the other items that fill my weekly calendar are somehow made more simple, while being greatly challenged by these three words: Above all else.

If everything in your life cannot be the most important thing in your life, then what is the most important thing to you? If you were to choose your topmost priority, aim, or goal in life, what would you choose? Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/your-wife-your-children-and-other-secondary-considerations/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/a-reason-the-word-of-god-does-not-connect-with-our-culture/ My question about this is not about the power of truth, especially God’s Truth, to capture and lead the person to salvation. It is whether reasoned (intellectual, rational) appeals to truth and goodness are, by themselves, most fitting in the contemporary cultural scene, which is marked by a lack of confidence in rational truth as an absolute category.

Few things in our culture today are sadder than the deterioration of the family. It does not matter any longer if you’re a Christian; being Christian does not insulate you from the encroachments of sin. Abuse has many aspects. This article addresses only one of the many questions about abuse: can a Christian spouse divorce her husband because of abuse? Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/can-a-christian-divorce-another-christian-for-abuse/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

The number reason you need someone is not to meet your deepest longings, but to image the Trinity in a relationship community. To fully grasp this, you must pretend--at least for a moment. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/the-number-one-reason-you-need-someone/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/the-problem-when-black-churches-treat-the-pastors-wife-as-co-pastor/ This is the second in a series of commentaries I’ll be writing on traditions and customs that, in my humble opinion, are doing damage to the missional purpose of what is commonly referred to as the “Black Church”. The objective of this series is not to denigrate any particular denomination, church, or individual, but to humbly address what I personally view as orthopraxy (orthodox practice) that is harmful to the Black Church as an institution and detrimental to the advancement of the Gospel in general. – Darrell Harrison

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/episode-31-abuse-suffering-and-other-painful-disappointments/ This podcast is a letter written to a friend on our Member's forum, who has gone through abuse. It was written to affirm the direction she is taking, while providing some safeguards about potential future issues.

Celebrating a birthday is fun. Each family has their birthday tradition. The past few years we have been celebrating our family birthdays this way. We call them birthday adventures. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/a-cool-idea-to-do-on-your-birthday Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

Girls are unique individuals that every dad, husband, and boyfriend need to understand. Regardless of her age, there are common truths that apply to all girls. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/what-every-guy-needs-to-know-about-every-girl-regardless-of-her-age/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

Careful assessment and outside input is one of the best things that could happen to any girl who wants to be married. Her future marriage is too important. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/open-letter-to-any-girl-who-wants-to-be-married/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

In the last chapter, I talked about the differences between boys and girls, and their unique sexual temptations. Now I’m going to talk about the long-term consequences of premarital sex by looking at a couple who had premarital sex and the long-term effects of their cover-up. Read Here: http://rickthomas.net/sex-before-marriage-is-the-beginning-of-a-trail-of-tears/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/10-things-the-black-church-should-stop-doing/ This is the first in a series of commentaries I’ll be writing on traditions and customs which, in my humble opinion, are doing damage to the missional purpose of what is commonly referred to as the “Black Church”.

You can find the show notes here : http://rickthomas.net/episode-30-when-you-are-hurt-by-your-local-church/ We all say there are no perfect churches. It sounds good, and it is a true statement. But what if we explored more in-depth about how you relate to your imperfect church? I suspect that every person reading this piece has been hurt in some way or another by something that has happened in a local church. And while I would not want to trivialize what has happened to you, I would like to cast a vision and make an appeal that extends beyond what has happened to you.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/Your-life-is-shaping-your-childs-life I was having a conversation with my son the other day and mentioned to him that he was going to be my replacement. It was a sobering thought. My son will grow up one day and become some version of what I have modeled for him. The good and the bad of my life will bring shape to his future life.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/A-biblical-reason-to-love-our-bodies The almost daily news reports about men and women strapping explosive devices to their bodies, becoming human bombs, and exploding in public places in order to cause terror have become, sadly, all too common and frequent. What has happened to our relationship to the human body that it can now so easily be used as a bomb to destroy other bodies?

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/why-you-need-to-know-that-you-cant-fix-people/ For those involved in biblical counseling and discipleship, the sting of not “seeing” results can be even sharper as we are ministers of God’s Word offered into the lives of people, and we expect change and a demonstration of the effective Word of God.

You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/episode-28-essential-teaching-about-how-people-change/ The key idea for this session is, “The change process must begin at a place that is deeper than our behaviors. To change well is to begin in the heart while working out to the behaviors.”

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/is-planned-parenthood-harvesting-and-selling-human-lives/ The Center for Medical Progress recently released an undercover video of Dr. Deborah Nucatola, Planned Parenthood’s Senior Director for Medical Services, explaining Planned Parenthood’s participation in harvesting and selling intact body parts of aborted babies for medical research.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/you-will-know-you-love-gay-people-when/ In a culture increasingly committed to calling right wrong and wrong right (Isaiah 5:20), we need to keep our hearts laid open before God, asking Him to search us, test us, and lead us (Psalm 139:23-24), lest we fall into fear from speaking God’s truth or anger while speaking God’s truth.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/Two-rules-every-parent-must-teach-their-children As our children become older we hope they will be governed less by our rules and more by the freedom they understand, experience, and enjoy in Christ. Gospel-centered and Gospel-motivated parenting slowly and incrementally releases our kids from our rules, our expectations, and our authority, while placing them under the greatest and most powerful governing dynamic known to man.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/gays-need-more-than-our-rebuke-they-need-our-gospel/ Last week’s Supreme Court’s decision that legalized same-sex marriage has been a sobering wake-up call for many Christians. Lines were clearly drawn by the highest court in our country. You are either for or against gay marriages. My concern is whether these lines will turn into barriers that could have a stifling impact on the Gospel.

Her Hollywood years did not weaken her walk with the LORD, but she became a more committed Christian in spite of her career track. In 1998 she met Ben, and they were married two years later. She eventually walked away from Hollywood, though the affinity for the work has always been in her heart. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/episode-26-from-feminist-to-hollywood-to-pastors-wife/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sonja Dosti is a pastor’s wife, living in Fresno, CA. Her husband, Ben, pastors Harvest Bible Chapel, a strong evangelical church that is doing good work in central California. Sonja’s life today is a far cry from what she used to be. Her parents divorced when she was three years old, only later to remarry each other and then divorce again before her teenage years. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/episode-26-from-feminist-to-hollywood-to-pastors-wife/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sonja Dosti is a pastor’s wife, living in Fresno, CA. Her husband, Ben, pastors Harvest Bible Chapel, a strong evangelical church that is doing good work in central California. Sonja’s life today is a far cry from what she used to be. Her parents divorced when she was three years old, only later to remarry each other and then divorce again before her teenage years. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/episode-26-from-feminist-to-hollywood-to-pastors-wife/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/south-carolina-racism-and-that-irritating-flag/ Dylann Roof’s murderous rampage last week has given another opportunity for the anti-racist community, which I am a part of, to go after the problem of racism from a behavioral modification world view. The argument has turned from what he did, to an opportunity to address personal agendas and pet peeves. Last week I talked about how the argument should be less about gun control and psychotropic drugs, and more about the real problem:

This message is on "True Community: How to Develop True, Authentic, and Transparent Relationships With Another Person." You may apply this teaching to any marriage, family, friendship, work relationship, and, of course, within the local church. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/episode-25-how-to-have-authentic-and-transparent-relationships/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/

You can read the article here: http://rickthomas.net/the-reason-dylann-roof-murdered/ The body of Christ is grieving again. Nine of our brothers and sisters were senselessly slain Wednesday (June 17, 2015) while at a church meeting in Charleston, SC. Each time this happens we collectively grieve for the victims, their families, the community, and even the assailant.

This is our first attempt at doing interviews, checking out our podcast equipment. We did a mock interview to check out systems. We setup a makeshift recording studio in Bozeman, MT, as we are on the road doing a speaking tour out west.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-son-to-know/ These things are not in any particular order. Just top of mind. I hope they will encourage, motivate, and help you to do these four words well: Love God, love others.

You can find the article and video here: http://rickthomas.net/?p=254257 In my 10 hour 10 lesson Introduction to Biblical Counseling class I took a portion of one of those classes to do a careful presentation of The Gospel “Y” Chart. The Gospel “Y” Chart is a remix of the “Y” Chart that has been popularized among some biblical counselors. It is a helpful infographic that teaches several key elements regarding how a person changes:

You can find the article here: A quick and easy way to disqualify yourself as a parent After spending a few moments with Luke and Clarissa it became apparent that they were angry parents. When I first brought this up to them, they were immediately reluctant to embrace my assessment. Part of their problem was a narrow interpretation of what anger meant, which is why they could not see themselves fitting within my interpretation.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/working-through-the-pain-of-loss/ I know He has not left me, but I’m hurting right now as I work through these new and unexpected changes in my life. Can you speak into this?

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know/ You can find the video here: https://vimeo.com/126990996 As I was thinking about you this week, I started writing down a few thoughts that might help you as you think about your future. These things are not in any particular order, but all of them have significance in their own way. Some will come sooner than later, but I hope that all of them will be appropriate and beneficial for you. Here you go...

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-wants-out/ I was in unbelief. I felt like I was hit by a truck. I didn’t even argue with her I was so shocked. She had begged me to go to counseling for some of our problems for months, but now I was ready. And now this?! I didn’t fully understand what was happening until she was already driving away.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/if-i-love-you-i-expect-you-to-love-me-back Is this statement true or false? Love is a commitment accompanied by action with no expectation of anything in return. Loving another person should come with an expectation that your love will be reciprocated. The fullest expression and experience of love is when two people love each other well. To not expect this or to not want this is to misunderstand the greater purposes and benefits of love.

You can find a transcript of the podcast here: http://rickthomas.net/episode-18-why-it-is-important-to-know-who-the-biggest-sinner-in-the-room-is/ Member question – I love Drive by Marriage. (Find DBM here.) Learning to know and remember that I am the biggest sinner in the room is Basic 101 Christianity, but it is not well taught, studied, or learned. Yet, in my opinion, it should be foundational for the Christian walk. I cannot do a Google search and come away with much information about how I am the chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). On the other hand, if I Googled some marital sin(s) that my spouse committed against me, there would be a plethora of information.

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/calling-all-perfectionist-everywhere-lets-be-imperfect-for-the-glory-of-god/ I’m working with a couple where the husband is focused on doing everything to the utmost excellence as a way to glorify God. How can I help him to see that things don’t need to be “perfect” for God to be glorified or for true discipleship to happen?

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/when-christianity-disappoints-you/ With religion in the rearview mirror, he set sail for other opportunities to fill his insatiable void. And, as you might predict, he never found satisfaction in anything. He slowly began to lose hope. Then on a late Friday night in April, 1997 he got into his last heated argument. This time it was with his wife. That argument ended after she shot him five times with a pistol.

You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/how-do-I-change-my-churchs-view-on-alcohol Member question – I was recently called to a small Baptist church that adheres to the church covenant written by J. Newton Brown in 1853. Part of that covenant mandates that no member of our church can sell or drink alcohol. I do not believe that drinking alcohol is a sin. What would you advise?

You can find the article here: http://rickthomas.net/a-world-view-for-carrying-the-Gospel-into-all-the-cyber-world The cyber world is a big place. It nearly reaches every person on the planet, which is every person with access to the Internet. We live in a phenomenal age. The gift of the Internet for the Christian has opened an effectual door that was not imagined centuries ago. The development of the web world has provided Christians with even greater opportunities to share the good news of Christ.