Rich Queer Aunties

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel and Kachi go down the rabbit hole: how far back does Western influence actually go in Igbo land, and what does that mean for the way we talk about “African culture” today? Christabel went down a research rabbit hole after someone on Instagram told her that Africans must have been beating their children long before colonialism, otherwise why is it so widespread today? She went looking. What she found should make every person of African descent pause. In this episode, Christabel and Kachi trace the actual timeline: 500 years of colonial contact, a British model of child-rearing that was explicitly theological, and an Igbo cosmology in which children were revered as reincarnated ancestors sacred beings you could lose if you struck them too hard. This is not ancient African tradition. It is colonial management practice, repackaged as culture and handed down as inheritance. They also get into what it costs us today: hiding tattoos from parents who are themselves 500 years removed from knowing any better, calling queerness un-African, policing each other's bodies, performing respectability for a version of culture that was installed by the people who beat the original one out of us. And the question that sits underneath all of it: if not our generation, who is actually doing the work of re-indigenization? This is the first of many conversations on what it looks like to come home. If you enjoyed this episode, rate and review us because it really helps. Leave a comment and forward it to one friend today. Stay connected: Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @Qingkachi Catch you in the next one. XO, Christabel & Kachi.

We tried to record this episode three times. Between technological difficulties and actual conflict while making a podcast about repair, the irony was not lost on us. We're here now. And we have a lot to say. This is Part 2 of our conversation on rupture and repair in intimate relationships, the ones you grew up in, the ones you chose, and the ones you're still trying to figure out how to stay in. This episode gets into the gritty of it: what aftercare actually looks like when nobody modeled it for you, what happens in your nervous system in the middle of a fight, and why the repair skills you're practicing with the wrong person are still worth developing. We talk about: the 1% rule, the courage to name your part even when you're convinced it's not your fault. what it means to move toward someone when every anxious and avoidant instinct in your body is pulling you somewhere else. apologies that mean nothing because there was no reflection behind them, and acts of kindness that hold a relationship together without having to address the fight directly. We also get into something we don't hear discussed enough: why people will stay in disappointing romantic relationships for years and throw away a friendship over something minor. And what Audre Lorde has to do with all of it. This is not dating advice. This is relational advice. And it applies to every relationship you are trying to build a life inside of. Resources mentioned: Relational Skills for Liberation Workbook and The Repair Manual — get your copy here. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a comment, review, question and share with one friend today. xo, C&K

Episode: Money Loves Circles - Working with Friends ft. Lola In this groundbreaking first guest episode, Christabel sits down with Oakland-based stylist Lola to challenge one of capitalism's biggest lies: "Don't mix business with friendship." In This Episode: Why wealthy people always do business with family and friends The capitalistic conditioning that keeps marginalized communities poor How to navigate conflict in business relationships with friends Building self-trust and follow-through The role of vulnerability and relational skills in business partnerships Reclaiming abundance as descendants of opulence About Lola: Lola is an Oakland-based stylist, creative, and dear friend to Christabel and Kachi. She styles WNBA players and helps people unlearn the conditioning that ruins personal style, creating closets that future generations will fight over. Find Lola: Instagram: @lola.styling Substack: Hypnotic Style Timestamps: 2:22 - The lie about mixing business and friendship 5:20 - Self-trust and follow-through 9:35 - Breaking shame spirals 22:30 - Learning conflict resolution skills 42:25 - Reclaiming ancestral abundance 46:06 - Why you can work with friends Key Quotes: "Money loves circles" - on how wealth circulates among the wealthy "I don't believe in being lonely at the top" "If you can work with your microaggressive boss, you can work with your friend" If you enjoyed this episode, can you do two things for us please: Share it with one friend Leave us a rating and review See you in the next one. Ps. the video version is on YouTube if you're a visual person.

In this deeply vulnerable Part 1 episode, Christabel and Kachi peel back the layers of their origin stories to understand how they learned to navigate conflict, safety, and love. Coming from two distinct backgrounds, both shaped by the violence of the Biafran genocide survivors and the silence of a strict religious household, we explore the survival strategies that saved us as children but challenged us as adults. In this episode, we discuss: The Fighter vs. The Performer: How Christabel learned to "fight back" and "hulk out" as a parentified daughter, while Kachi learned to "perform goodness" and embrace silence to survive a high-control environment. The Cost of Survival: The impact of domestic violence, physical abuse, and the pressure to be a "good child" on our nervous systems. Queer Identity in the Shadows: Kachi opens up about navigating lesbian identity in a Nigerian Catholic all girls boarding school and the internal conflict of hiding to stay safe. Two Paths to Healing: We break down the myth that there is only one way to heal. We discuss how Kachi found herself through solitude, sobriety, and psilocybin , while Christabel needed to heal in relationship to witness her own triggers. Join us as we trace our attachment styles back to the source and prepare the ground for Part 2. Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it. XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties Christabel & Kachi Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Christabel and Kachi are back. Two queer Igbo aunties, newly engaged, talking honestly about what it means to choose a lesbian life in the shadow of homophobic parents, church aunties, and colonial expectations. In this episode they unpack what engagement and turning forty have stirred up. Christabel shares what it is to propose after two divorces and a Jehovah’s Witness childhood. Kachi talks about returning to the community they grew up in with Christabel who is fully tatted and pierced and feeling the monitoring spirits in the room. Together they name the grief of parents who will never fully celebrate their love, and the freedom that comes from refusing to hide. They explore grief as an alchemical practice for queer African babies. What happens when you stop waiting for your family to change, tell the truth anyway, and let yourself mourn the parents you wish you had. How grief purifies, how boundaries shift, and how standing in your reality becomes an offering to the ancestors and to the next generation of queer Africans. If you are the obedient child who turned into the rebellious queer adult, if you are tired of hiding from your family while holding everyone else together, this conversation is for you. Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it. XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties Christabel & Kachi Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

We keep saying we have mother wounds, but what if the real injury is deeper than our mothers? In this episode, we ask the question no one wants to touch: Who are our mothers, really? Not the role they performed. Not the fears they passed down. But the person underneath all that patriarchal survival. Christabel and Kachi crack open a deeply personal conversation about rage, abandonment, girlhood, queerness, and what it means to love our mothers without excusing the harm. From forced obedience to performative connection, we explore how patriarchy trains us to mistrust other women, and how healing means confronting the system, not scapegoating each other. If you've ever felt triggered by other women, if you're grieving the relationship you never had with your mother, if you’re trying to change the dance by changing your own steps, this one’s for you. If you enjoy our work, please comment/rate/share. This is what helps us get known so we can make money doing work we love. ✨ If you’re in the Bay Area, come be in the room with us for The Gathering on June 21. It’s a lush, intimate night of expertly made cocktails, radically honest conversation, and real community around the theme of Love and Rage. → ⁠Get your ticket⁠ Want a deeper way to practice this work? The Relational Skills for Liberation workbook is your companion, especially if you’re learning how to show up for yourself and others without performing perfection. → ⁠Download the workbook⁠ Want early access to future workshops and behind-the-scenes reflections? → ⁠Join the waitlist⁠ CONNECT WITH US 📸 Instagram: ⁠@richqueeraunties⁠ | ⁠@christabelmintahgalloway⁠ | ⁠@qingkachi Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Love & Rage — What Did You Inherit and What Are You Choosing? This is our first video upload. Let us know what you think! Should we do more videos? How do we honor our rage without becoming who harmed us? In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we talk about love and rage, what we inherited, what we’re choosing instead, and how we’re learning to hold both without abandoning ourselves. We speak as African daughters, as queer folks, as partners learning to fight fair, and as children unlearning obedience as the price of love. This conversation is honest, tender, and necessary. We explore: ​Why rage felt safer than softness in many of our homes ​How rage and tenderness can coexist when we stop suppressing ourselves ​The cost of performing obedience in relationships—especially with family ​How we learned to channel anger into truth, not destruction ​What it looks like to individuate without cutting off our roots ✨ If you’re in the Bay Area, come be in the room with us for The Gathering on June 21. It’s a lush, intimate night of expertly made cocktails, radically honest conversation, and real community around the theme of Love and Rage. → Get your ticket Want a deeper way to practice this work? The Relational Skills for Liberation workbook is your companion, especially if you’re learning how to show up for yourself and others without performing perfection. → Download the workbook Want early access to future workshops and behind-the-scenes reflections? → Join the waitlist — CONNECT WITH US 📸 Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @qingkachi Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this raw and reflective episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel and Kachi use the hit show Severance as a powerful metaphor for the emotional fragmentation many of us endure, especially queer, Black, immigrant, and formerly religious folks. Through deeply personal storytelling, they explore themes of reintegration, rage, community, grief, and the courage it takes to reclaim your full self in a world that rewards compartmentalization. From family estrangement to navigating therapy, medicine, and chosen family, this conversation is a reminder that healing isn’t clean, but it’s real. Whether you’ve seen Severance or not, this episode invites you to reflect: What parts of yourself have you severed to survive? And what would it take to live from a place of wholeness? ⁠Kachi⁠ on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! Tune in and let’s get into it. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we dive deep into why relational skills are essential for our collective liberation. We explore the tensions between individualism, collectivism, and interdependence, unpacking how capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy have shaped the way we relate to one another. Christabel and Kachi reflect on their personal journeys with repair, conflict resolution, and deepening relational skills, not just in friendships and romantic relationships, but also in movement spaces. Why do so many relationships fall apart over unspoken expectations? How do we build the resilience to stay, repair, and grow while also discerning when to walk away? We also talk about the role of community in healing from relational trauma, how prioritizing deep relationships is a direct act of resistance against empire, and why building strong relational skills is crucial for any liberatory movement. Plus, Christabel shares how her 12 years in nursing leadership have shaped her understanding of conflict navigation, emotional intelligence, and showing up for others, even when it’s hard. This is an episode about unlearning, relearning, and doing the slow, necessary work of repair, for ourselves, our communities, and our collective futures. Kachi on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! Tune in and let’s get into it. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Spirituality should bring us closer to ourselves, to each other, and to the land. But too often, we see people leaving oppressive religious structures only to recreate the same hierarchies, dogma, and isolation in their spiritual journeys. In this episode, we ask: Are we truly decolonizing our spirituality, or are we just replicating the same patterns with different language? We explore: ✨ How indigenous wisdom offers pathways to healing beyond Western individualism ✨ The ways colonial trauma shapes modern spiritual practices ✨ Why relational accountability must be central to any spiritual path ✨ How to practice spirituality in a way that fosters community, connection, and liberation Healing, unlearning, and reclaiming indigenous knowledge should not make us lonelier. It should deepen our relationships and bring us home to interdependence. Ready to build community while doing this work? 🔹 Come join us at The Gathering (Oakland, Feb 15th) – A space to unlearn and reimagine intimacy outside of patriarchal structures. Tickets available now (4 tickets left)! 🔹 Ọganihu Collective – A community for creatives of diasporic origin building sustainable, interdependent businesses. If you’re a creator looking for ongoing support, join us. 🔹 Comment/rate/review the podcast – This helps a lot for visibility for a podcast hosted by two Black, Queer Women. Follow Christabel and Kachi on Instagram for more offerings and a good time! Love, Christabel & Kachi; The Rich Queer Aunties Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Healing Beyond the Master’s Tools: Therapy, Queerness, and Rediscovering Indigenous Wisdom In this deeply reflective episode, Christabel and Kachi dive into the layered complexities of healing as queer African immigrant women navigating Western therapeutic tools, cultural inheritance, and the longing for ancestral wisdom. They explore questions like: • Are the tools we’re using to heal truly liberating us? • What happens when therapy and mindfulness no longer feel like enough? • How do we reclaim indigenous healing practices that were disrupted by colonialism? Through raw storytelling and vulnerable reflection, they unpack the ways queerness became a lens for healing, the heartbreak of systemic betrayal, and the deep longing to return to something ancient, something rooted. This conversation is not just about personal healing, it’s about collective liberation, about challenging systems that ask us to stay small, silent, and stagnant. If you’ve ever felt stuck on your healing journey, if you’ve questioned whether the tools available to you are truly serving your growth, this episode is for you. Tune in, reflect, and let’s query deeper, together. Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream your favorite shows. Don’t forget to rate, review, and share, it helps so much! 💖 ✨ Connect with us: Follow on Instagram: ⁠@christabelmintahgalloway⁠ Join the conversation on Substack: ⁠Rich Queer Aunties⁠ Support the community on Patreon: ⁠Oganihu Collective Till next time, Christabel & Kachi. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this heartfelt end-of-year episode, Christabel and Kachi sit down to reflect on 2024, its challenges, triumphs, and transformative lessons. From navigating healing journeys and embracing authenticity to setting bold intentions for the year ahead, this conversation dives deep into vulnerability, creativity, and the power of showing up fully in our lives. Join us as we share personal stories, honor growth, and explore what it means to let go of fear, lean into courage, and build a life rooted in authenticity and ease. ✨ What you'll hear in this episode: Insights from Kachi's healing journey post-injury Christabel's reflections on self-trust and slow growth Honest discussions on letting go of societal expectations Bold intentions for creativity, community, and connection in the year ahead Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream your favorite shows. Don’t forget to rate, review, and share, it helps so much! 💖 ✨ Connect with us: Follow on Instagram: @christabelmintahgalloway Join the conversation on Substack: Rich Queer Aunties Support the community on Patreon: Oganihu Collective Let’s step boldly into the new year, together. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this deeply personal episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we confront a difficult and often unspoken question: What do you choose when both anti-Blackness and homophobia are constant realities? As queer African women navigating these harsh truths, we share our stories of living between worlds - Christabel a nurse, and writer who immigrated to the U.S. from Ghana, and Kachi, a healer and Nigerian artist. As two queer women, we’re in Ghana right now, facing the challenges head-on to build a youth empowerment and retreat center that offers safety, skill-building, and community for marginalized people. But it’s not just about us. This is for the youth who dream of a future where they don’t have to flee their homeland for opportunities. We’re here to create spaces for healing, skill-building, and intergenerational wisdom-sharing, even in the face of homophobic laws and cultural stigma.Join us as we discuss:The emotional journey of building in a place that is both home and hostileLeveraging the privileges we have - like American passports and financial security - to uplift othersWhy we believe mutual aid and community funding are the keys to liberationThe healing power of reconnecting to the land and culture while building safe spaces for othersBut we can’t do it alone. This project is for the community, funded by the community. We’re 13% funded towards our $30,000 goal, and we need your help to keep going. If you’ve been moved by our work, please consider donating. 💛How to Support Us:Donate to our GoFundMe to help us reach our $30,000 goal: HERE.Become a member of our Patreon community, Oganihu Collective, where we share exclusive content, behind-the-scenes updates, and offer private discussions: HEREConnect with us on Substack for deep dives into topics we discuss on the podcast, updates on the project, and community conversations: HERE.Follow us on Instagram for daily updates, stories, and behind-the-scenes moments from Ghana: @christabelmintahgallowayEvery bit of support matters, whether it’s $20 towards buying a bag of cement or simply sharing this episode with someone who cares about community building. Together, we can create a space where marginalized people can thrive, heal, and build a future rooted in empowerment.If this episode resonated with you, please:Rate and review our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.Donate to our GoFundMe and help us reach the next milestone.Join our private community on Patreon to deepen your connection with us and support ongoing projects. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Show Notes:In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, we bring it all together - how our personal journeys of healing and self-discovery are deeply connected to yours. After sharing our own vulnerable stories in the last two episodes, today we reflect on what it all means for you, our dear queer babies, and why your healing matters.Christabel and Kachi discuss the importance of storytelling in the healing process and how being open about our struggles can help others feel seen. We share lessons learned from our journeys - how healing isn’t linear, how being present with your emotions is crucial, and why your story, just like ours, carries weight.In this episode, we explore:The importance of seeing yourself in someone else’s storyWhy your healing is essential to both you and the world around youNavigating self-compassion and forgiveness through the messy process of growthPractical steps for being present with your emotions and staying groundedWhy community matters, and how it helps you stay accountable on your healing journeyUnderstanding that it’s okay to struggle with the same issues, even after years of workThis episode is for anyone who feels like they’re navigating their own healing journey and wondering if it’s all worth it. It’s a reminder that your process matters - not just for you, but for those around you, and for the collective queer community.Join us as we share our stories to remind you: your healing matters.Listen now on:Apple PodcastsSpotifyGoogle PodcastsStitcherFollow us on Instagram:@richqueerauntiesJoin our Creative Community for Creatives of Diasporic Origin:Oganihu Collective Shop Our Merch Store:Rich Queer Aunties ShopEpisode Chapters:00:00 Welcome Back to Rich Queer Aunties01:10 The Power of Sharing Vulnerable Stories03:34 The Role of Storytellers in the Community04:52 Advice for the Younger Self06:46 Being Present and Mindful09:49 Handling Emotions and Inner Critic14:06 The Importance of Community and Mirroring15:46 The Challenge of Long-Term Healing24:31 Choosing Love and Sharing Wisdom27:05 Closing Thoughts and Gratitude Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel's partner, Kachi, returns to the podcast to interview Christabel. They delve into Christabel's journey of healing through therapy, navigating complex PTSD, and embracing her authentic self.Christabel shares personal stories about her struggles with anger and emotional outbursts, her challenging experiences growing up in an abusive household, and her journey to self-worth and acceptance, despite the lack of support from her religious community. The conversation also touches on the importance of a secure therapeutic relationship, the role of self-compassion, and practical steps for emotional regulation and personal growth.Additionally, Christabel introduces her new initiative, Oganihu Collective, a community for creatives from the diaspora. Become an Oganihu Collective founding member by November 30, 2024 for $10/month here. This honest and heartfelt discussion is a beacon for anyone on their own journey to live authentically and heal from past trauma.Stay connected on:Instagram: @christabelmintahgalloway@richqueerauntiesSubstack: Boldly Authentic SubstackIf you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back00:19 Kachi Interviews Christabel00:42 Christabel's Healing Journey02:08 The Pivotal Moment05:28 Seeking Therapy07:32 Therapeutic Relationship17:00 Books and Resources20:25 Changing the Dance25:20 Coming Out Story26:20 Embracing Self-Worth and Confidence27:20 Coming Out and Facing Rejection28:13 Therapy and Validation32:01 The Power of Self-Trust34:30 Introducing Oganihu Collective35:52 Balancing Healing and Coping Mechanisms38:29 Navigating Relationships and Trust41:14 The Journey of Mindfulness and Imperfection48:26 Concluding Reflections and Gratitude Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel welcomes a special guest, their partner Kachi, who shares their personal journey of self-discovery and healing. Kachi, an Igbo-American Nigerian artist and recovering engineer, delves into their transition from conforming to societal expectations to embracing their full, authentic self.They discuss the influence of culture, family, and identity on their path, including the pivotal moments of moving to California, growing their facial hair, and exploring traditional Igbo spirituality.The episode highlights the importance of living authentically, sustaining personal liberation, and the complexities of feeling connected yet different from one's community. Ideal for successful Black women seeking to navigate and embrace their true desires and identities.Stay connected on:Instagram: @christabelmintahgalloway@richqueerauntiesSubstack: Boldly Authentic SubstackIf you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage00:50 Meet Kachi: A Journey of Self-Discovery01:23 The Importance of the Body in Healing02:47 Kachi's Turning Point: Embracing Identity04:19 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Identity05:07 Rebellion and Self-Expression06:39 Facing Family and Societal Pressures07:22 The Catalyst for Change: Grad School and Beyond10:47 Finding Independence and Self-Care12:50 A Transformative Trip to Nigeria32:55 Embracing Authenticity33:23 Returning to the Motherland34:28 Life in Oakland37:07 Exploring Igbo Spirituality39:20 Redefining Identity43:31 Healing Through Community49:59 Navigating Shame and Guilt57:25 The Journey of Self-Discovery01:02:31 A Heartfelt Conclusion Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome back to RichQueerAunties, I'm Christabel, your host - nurse leader, writer, and African auntie. Today's episode explores boundaries within the unique context of diasporic origins.Boundaries are often discussed but not in ways that fit our lived experiences. For many of us from the global South or with parents from there, boundaries are intricate. We grew up valuing community and family over individualism.So how do we begin to own our individuality while respecting our roots? Unhooking our worthiness from our actions is key. Accepting our realities in a hyper-capitalistic society, recognizing our inherent worth, and building nurturing communities matters.Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. Recognize your limits and communicate them lovingly. It's less about external validation and more about internal regulation.I hope these insights help you in balancing collectivism and individualism. Let's continue the conversation.Stay connected on:Instagram: @christabelmintahgalloway@richqueerauntiesSubstack: Boldly Authentic SubstackIf you enjoyed this podcast, please like and rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your ratings and reviews matter immensely. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, take care of yourself.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Living Authentically00:33 Embracing Cultural Legacy and Individuality02:04 The Importance of Boundaries02:52 Navigating Diasporic Challenges03:46 Personal Journey and Cultural Attachment05:53 Balancing Community and Self-Worth10:43 Redefining Worthiness and Community12:55 Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries23:01 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Is a Lack of Authenticity Keeping You Stuck?Raise your hand if you're tired of feeling disconnected despite your success.You might think the problem is just about needing a break or figuring out your personal style or whatever else that has you feeling disconnected. But what if it's deeper?You've been told that these parts of your life are separate—your style, your career moves, how you should handle relationships. They sell you on quick fixes:“Use this outfit formula in order to curate your style…”“Act like this to be the boss babe you are…”“Here’s how to spot a narcissist…” [Well…not so much.]Let’s be real — if true fulfillment was based on these surface changes, you’d have everything figured out already.The problem isn’t about the external adjustments you’re being advised to make.The problem is Authenticity.Stick with me here.Understanding and being true to your authentic self is crucial, especially when your first role models—possibly even your parents—didn’t support this journey. This disconnect at the core can cascade into every other area of your life, affecting how you show up in your relationships, your job, and even how you express your personal style.AKA: It doesn’t matter if you can learn how to build the most perfect capsule closet if you’re not ALSO tackling the deeper, subconscious issues of what’s keeping you from knowing who you truly are.I said what I said. And I know living your truth SEEMS daunting and like a lot to unpack.But it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming revolution.Starting to live authentically can look like: → Asserting your needs and boundaries, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. → Choosing to engage in hobbies and interests that light you up, not just those that look good on your profile. → Saying no to social norms that don't resonate with your core values. → Celebrating your heritage and personal history in your daily life.But it probably doesn’t look like conforming to a prescribed image or denying parts of your identity to fit into the mainstream.If you enjoyed this podcast, please like rate it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts, the ratings matter so much, the reviews matter. And if you think, you know, at least one person who can benefit from this, please share it with them, it means the world to me. Until next time, take care of yourself.Stay Connected:Substack: Read My WritingInstagram: christabelmintahgalloway Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Hello, wonderful listeners!I’m excited to announce that the Rich Queer Aunties podcast is back! After a year-long hiatus, I’m returning with fresh insights and a renewed focus on empowering Black queer women to embrace their most authentic selves.In this episode, I reflect on my personal journey and the challenges I’ve faced, including my high ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score and how it’s shaped my path. We’ll dive into the importance of authenticity and how to overcome societal conditioning, religious indoctrination, and cultural expectations.Join me as I explore:Empowerment for Black Queer Women: How to break free from societal constraints and embrace your true self.Overcoming Trauma: My personal journey with a high ACE score and its impact on self-discovery.Dismantling Conditioning: Addressing shame, guilt, and the 'shoulds' that hold us back.Cultural and Religious Challenges: Navigating the complexities of religious indoctrination and cultural expectations.This episode marks the rebirth of Rich Queer Aunties, and I can’t wait to share more conversations and stories that resonate with our community. Let’s continue this journey together toward authenticity, empowerment, and self-love.Stay Connected:Substack: www.christabelmintahgalloway.substack.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/christabelmintahgallowayTune in now and be part of this empowering journey. Delayed but never forgotten. Until next time, mwah! Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

This episode is sponsored by Rich Queer Aunties. Visit Rich Queer Aunties for all your fly RQA merch.In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties podcast, host Christabel invites guest Dan to share their journey from being raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and their spiritual journey afterwards.Dan, a multi-dimensional being who is an organizer, spiritualist, sorcerer, and abstract visual artist. Dan also uses sound and music as tools for healing and celebration.They discuss topics such as religious trauma, being ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, the experiences of gay individuals shunned by their families, African religious spirituality, spiritual journeys, self-development, and estrangement from family. Here are some key highlights from the episode:00:03:31-00:06:40 - Upbringing as a Jehovah's Witness: Dan and Christabel discuss their strict upbringing as Jehovah's Witnesses, the lack of individual development, and the suppression of curiosity and individuality.00:09:33-00:12:19 - Experiences of subconscious conditioning and rebellion within a religious community: Dan discusses engaging in rebellious behavior and seeking love in the wrong places, while also reflecting on the suppression they witnessed in Black women around them.00:15:18-00:17:59 - Challenging Suppression and Making Independent Choices: Dan reflects on making choices that centered themselves and asserting their independence.00:17:59-00:20:40 - Decision to Leave the Congregation: Dan discusses their decision to stop attending meetings at their congregation due to the suppression of women, influenced by their own mother's experience.00:20:40-00:23:39 - Suppressed Identity and Self-Expression: Dan reflects on how their identity and voice were suppressed by their father, finding comfort in making their own choices and exploring their sexuality.00:23:39-00:26:33 - Leaving Home and Coming Out: Dan reflects on leaving home as a symbol of freedom, and the challenges faced by queer individuals in religious communities.00:29:36-00:32:33 - Choosing Freedom over Fear: Dan expresses gratitude for coming out as gay and standing up for themselves, despite negative reactions from their family and community.00:32:33-00:35:34 - Ignoring Subtle Parts of Life and Choosing Intuition: Dan reflects on their experience with ignoring certain aspects of life, and the importance of listening to one's feelings and intuition.00:35:34-00:44:39 - Exploring Grief and Depression: Dan discusses the concept of grief, its relationship to personal growth and healing, and the importance of embracing grief and allowing oneself to feel.00:47:26-00:51:06 - Coping with family rejection and finding personal fulfillment: Dan discusses the impact of their parents' rejection, finding solace in creating their own life, and the importance of trusting intuition and taking care of oneself.00:51:06-00:54:19 - Choosing Freedom over Fear: Dan reflects on their personal experience with grief, the transformative nature of the grieving process, and the importance of embracing discomfort for growth and evolution.To listen to the full episode and explore more about religious trauma, self-development, and family estrangement, listen to Rich Queer Aunties on all podcast platforms. Don't forget to follow Rich Queer Aunties on social media for more inspiring content:Instagram: @richqueerauntiesYou can find Dan at:Instagram: @kkingbooSoundcloud: Stream 7000COILS Website: 7000coils.comRemember, you are not alone in your journey. There is hope, healing, and a community of individuals who have experienced similar challenges. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Join me for a candid conversation on overcoming the fear of rejection and achieving self-actualization as a former Jehovah’s witness who came out as gay. Learn how embracing authenticity can lead to true fulfillment in life. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Please don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW and SHARE this little podcast of mine. It truly makes all the difference.Welcome to the latest episode of Rich Queer Aunties, where I'll be exploring the complex relationship between collectivism and individuality. Through personal anecdotes and cultural observations, I'll delve into how collectivism can both bind and liberate us. Join the conversation on this fascinating topic with me today!At 04:37, I'll be sharing a powerful example from Ghana, where collectivism is so strong that reporting a family member's crime to the police can lead to ostracization. Conversely, at 08:00, I'll be discussing how America's individualistic culture saved my life.Next, at 09:26, I'll be recounting my own experience of coming out on Facebook to both my family and congregation. Later, at 14:34, I'll be reflecting on how I navigate being openly queer and polyamorous while still maintaining a relationship with my deeply African and Jehovah's Witness mother.Then, at 18:22, I'll reveal the harsh reality of being disfellowshipped by Jehovah's Witnesses and why I believe that I don't need my mother to fly a rainbow flag at pride. At 21:51, I'll emphasize the importance of respecting individuality, even when we don't share the same interests.Throughout the episode, I'll be sharing insights on how representation matters and saves lives for African queers in the diaspora. However, at 27:03, I'll also highlight the potential pitfalls of collectivism and enmeshed communities. Finally, at 29:50, I'll be encouraging listeners to do the necessary work to navigate the anxiety and discomfort that comes with disappointing our loved ones in the pursuit of individual expression.Don't miss this thought-provoking episode of Rich Queer Aunties, exploring the intersection of collectivism and individuality. Tune in now and join the conversation!Audio Engineer: Onyekachi Nwankwo Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Uncovering Authenticity: A Solo Episode on Love, Loss, and Learning to Heal Please remember to rate and write a review. It goes a long way to producing a successful podcast and we want nothing but success for my baby.•Don’t forget to visit www.richqueeraunties.com/shop for exclusive RQA merch and original art from Ghana. •follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/ Welcome back to the podcast, where we dive into all things authenticity, community building, and the luxurious lifestyle. But before we pivot to our new direction, I want to share a deeply personal story with you all. For those who have been with me from the start, you know that I launched this podcast to share my thoughts with the world. Later, I teamed up with my ex-wife and partner of eight years to host the show. Now, we're back to where we started, with me (Christabel) hosting a solo podcast. In this episode, I share the painful end of my eight-year relationship. It's a story I've been holding back, but I feel it's time to share. There are lessons to be learned from loving deeply, navigating a healing journey, and resorting to violent tendencies to fulfill one's needs. I also delve into the complexities of polyamory and hypocrisy, and how falling in love amidst the ruins of a shattered relationship can happen. I know that at least one of you will resonate with my story, and I want you to know that you're not alone. I'll admit, some parts of this episode are deeply shameful, and I'm feeling vulnerable. But it's my truth, my full story, and it's worth sharing, even the imperfect parts. So, join me as I tell this story in full once and for all. Christabel. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Is meme repost culture gaslighting you into thinking you’re doing the work? Doing the work irl and finding your people. In this episode, I talk about:Examining our beliefsDoing the work to figure out what’s yours and what’s not. Showing up fully in all our messiness to find our people instead of faking it till we make itReposting mental health memes alone does not the work make.Listen, share, and let’s discuss. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Capitalism and pay me for my work: My struggle with the nuances therein.> How I broke my ankle> Feeling less alone by listening to the stories of others> How much I make as a nurse> I started a Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Christabelmintahgalloway. Become a patron if you’ll like to support me monetarily. > Why I priced/tiered my Patreon the way I did and why I need to keep my 9-5 job> Can I make a living doing what I love> Are these questions as a result of my indoctrination into capitalism> I don’t want to be a starving artist; I did enough starving in my childhood to last a lifetime> Why I would charge more for my time than a hospital pays me on the hour.> I had my first ever speaking gig yesterday speaking at a local college.> Ultimately, I’m choosing to face the work. The work is what I love and what I’ll focus on. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

I’ve had many relationships over the years all with trials but none has been as impactful as my current one with my partner and that with my mom over our lifetime. I believe that our relationships can be outstanding teachers if we are in the right space to be a student. Otherwise, it becomes about blame game. Focusing on the other person’s shortcomings or how they’re toxic or and anything else that is not how we can learn about ourselves from that relationship. Disclaimer *this is not talking about truly abusive relationships*It feels like taboo to talk about thing like your relationship is hard but you both remain intentional about remaining in it but that’s why I think we should. There were so many things that have happened throughout our relationship that many people (and us) would say we probably should have broken up in our first year. I had a lot of anger from a life filled with painful moments. I had grown up a specific way where we yelled, screamed, hit people, thrown things etc. I was always ready to rumble if I felt hurt. Ginele also came into the relationship with her unique set of conditioning. So yeah, it was tumultuous. When I met Ginele, I had just had a pretty nasty divorce a few months prior after 4 years of a pretty abusive relationship. Of course I loved Ginele, but I had conditioning that I hadn’t worked on. My favorite thing to say was I am who I am and if you don’t like it, oh well. While secretly, I felt ashamed of the ways I acted out. But after a year of utter chaos, the love I had for her and the love she had for me motivated me for the first time to see if I can change the way I expressed my emotions. Five years later, here I am, grown and healed in so many ways. And six years into our relationship, the lessons keep coming. While there are things I desperately wish I could change in our history, I can honestly say that she has been the truest reflection of myself that I’ve ever had. It’s so hard to see yourself. It’s much easier to see someone else and tell them what they need to work on. Shifting from that to just seeing yourself, sitting with that revelation, accepting it, and looking for ways to gain new skills to help you navigate life and your relationships with more ease is life-changing work. Our culture has taught us to throw in the towel early. If it’s hard in a certain manner, or for a prolonged period, or in a recurrent way, it’s not meant to be. And while I’m sure the sentiment that love should be easy resonates with and is true for some people, it’s never resonated with me. I don’t know of any uncomplicated relationships. I’ve never seen that, and so I don’t relate. What I know though and have witnessed in my life is the magic that comes from using love as a catalyst to learn, evolve, grow and repair relationships that matter to us. By Instagram standards, I should have disavowed my mom so long ago. We have a very difficult history filled with abuse and it was the worst relationship in my life for a really long time. But when I started therapy and just talking about and processing everything that I went through in her hands, I learned compassion for her and by extension for self. She did the best with the knowledge she had. She saw certain treatments that were incredibly harmful to me as normal. So, when I learned the skills of telling her how what she did affected me, the skills of setting boundaries with her, and her (unspoken) determination to do the work, our relationship changed for the better. And it’s still evolving to this day. I’m so glad I stuck it out with her. And that’s kinda how I feel about Ginele and I. It’s been so hard. We have traumatic memories that I’d rather not have. We’ve married, there’s been infidelities, we’ve divorced, there are trust issues, there’s still a fairly regular conversation about if we’ll make it. If perhaps the hurt is too much to overcome. So, we work, we go to therapy, we fight, we cry, we threaten to leave weekly because it fe Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Back Like I never LeftHere’s a quick update on what I’ve been up do in the last three months. To include: COVID- 19 emergency relief work in southern TexasI turned 35 during first hurricane ever! In Mexico!!Not being sure of who you want to be when you grow upDealing with self-doubt, a different brain and a world that demands productivityHealing from religious indoctrination in order to find my voice (ps. still searching). And so many more...30 minutes of just chatting it up. I'll be back to recording more regularly now that I’m finally choosing to slow life down a little bit. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Q&A : Coming out, skin care, organized religion, and more.In my first Q&A, I tackle questions asked on IG about how I came out, what my skin care routine is, what I think of organized religion after being an active participant in one for two decades.I loved all the questions that came through! I do think I missed a couple that we’re sent in my DMs because I couldn’t find it but there’ll be other opportunities to do this again in the future.Resource: @ihartericka on IG for antiracist education for younger adults Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Aberrant Behavior - Black joy, white fragility, and everything in betweenAn episode where I just ramble about a few things weighing on my mind to include:New white activists, I need an explanation on why you never saw racism until now. In fact, don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical. I believe you’ve always known, you just didn’t want to sacrifice that promotion by speaking up. While it’s great for the collective human race that you’re choosing to be co-conspirators, just know that there’s a mental and emotional toll that your sudden awakening is taking on Black people - well, I’ll just say me because Black is not a monolith.White fragility and white tears and white guilt are boring and so tired and like get over it so you can get to work. Acknowledge your feelings because they’re worthwhile but don’t over identify with it and certainly don’t let it leave you paralyzed into inaction.Black joy is revolutionary so fellow Black people, do all you can to cultivate it. Live your life fully, joyously, unapologetically. I talk about getting back to my self care practices that ensures that I keep that joy popping.Until next time,xoc. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Not Racist? Not Enough! - How to become anti-racist.This is from my perspective as an African who wasn’t always anti-racist. Being Black wasn’t enough for me, I had to become actively anti-racist. Many Black activist resist the idea of teaching anti-racism to white people and NBPOC because they are tired. I still have some energy so let’s go!Not being racist is the bare minimum, you don’t get cookies for it. And this goes for all Africans or non American Black people, people of color and other immigrants. Some ways you can become actively anti-racist:First of all fight the egotistical need to be seen as not-racist. Not being racist is not enough, the goal is to be actively anti racistPick up a book, many books and educate yourself on the racist past and present of America. Education really is key, take the time to actually educate yourself. Begin to notice anti Blackness in movies and the media. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Then help your family and friends see it too.When Black people tell you something is racist, believe us. It’s not in our heads. It’s not made up. We don’t make everything about race. Teach your kids to see color. Them being color blind is part of the problem. Say the word Black when referring to Black people. It’s not a dirty word. We’re not inherently violent. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Aberrant Behavior Episode 5 - Liberation from Subconscious Conditioning In this episode, I talk about how most of our behaviors and what we consider our personalities are as a result of subconscious conditioning. As always, I draw from my experience. When I wanted to change behavior patterns that were no longer serving me, I thought it was a matter of willpower but after that failed me time and time again, I decided to dig deeper.Some of the things I talk about are:How I got to a place where I could forgive my ex-wife (and regain closes friendship with her) for cheating on me twice before our first anniversary.Hint: it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me focusing on transmuting my pain into powerful behavior changethe difference between the colloquial use of the term EGO and it's use in human psychology. And why it is important to get familiar with our Ego in order to stop- operating from a place of subconscious conditioningI mention the book The Four agreements and how learning about them is changing my lifeunlearning parental and societal conditioning. Why do we believe what we belive? Is it a matter of genetics or mere social conditioning?How can you be sure that YOU hate body hair?Our parents/earliest caregivers are not perfect, they're just people with their own traumas who happened to procreate. Should owe then take their word as gospel?Goal of all this workgetting free from bondage from our thoughts and feelingsleaving the prison of our mindsmoving through life with intentionbeing able to witness our thoughts and make the associations and own our s**t without ascribing blame to other peopleunlearning conditioned beliefsgetting to know our truest selvesimproving our inner peace and wellbeingimproving our relationships all aroundin relationships, I notice when patterns are repeating themselves and I can better detach and recalibrateResources:The Four Agreements: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_AgreementsThe difference between the colloquial use of ego and the psychological use: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/wisdom/whats-the-best-way-to-define-ego/Dr. Nicole LePera. She has some amazing FREE resources on doing Ego work: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/I wish you all a happy healing!Love, xoc. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Aberrant Behavior Episode 4 - Spankings and SlaveryIn this episode, I talk specifically to black parents, guardians and caregivers. I wanted to facilitate a conversation about the devastating effects of spankings within the black family.I talk from my perspective as a kid who received many spankings growing up and how that affected me detrimentally. I was only able to identify said detrimental effects when I started doing the work of healing from my many traumas. This is my attempt to start a conversation and perhaps a change of heart in people who have adopted this slave era practice of beating black bodies as their own.It was never ours to begin with. In fact, according to an article, “West African traditional belief held that children were reincarnated ancestors. West African societies held children in a much higher regard than slave societies in the Atlantic world, which placed emphasis on black bodies as property, not as human beings. West Africans believed that children came from the afterlife, that they were gods or reincarnated ancestors who led profoundly spiritual lives and held extraordinary mystical powers that could be harnessed through ritual practice for the good of the community. In fact, it was believed that coercion and hitting a child could scare off their soul. With Colonialism and slave trade, African-Americans adopted the practice of beating children from white slave masters” (Patton, 2017). It is a practice that is extremely detrimental to the psychological wellbeing of our children, Obedience from our children shouldn’t be the biggest accomplishments of us raising them. There is much to be said about raising children who are independent in thought and actions who are not mere subservient clones of ours.I leave you with my favorite poem from Kahlil Gibran on raising children:“Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.You may give them your love but not your thoughts,For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”Resources:The case against spanking: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spankingCorporal punishment in black communities: Not an intrinsic cultural tradition but racial trauma: https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2017/04/racial-traumaYoutube: ChrisatbelmintahgallowayIG: @ChrisatbelmintahgallowayWebsite: www.chrisatbelmintahgalloway.com Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Aberrant Behavior - Religion and Internalized HomophobiaIn this episode, I delve into my long and complex relationship with religion and why I had to let it go if I was ever to love myself deeply. I have nothing against religion as a whole because I recognize it’s role in providing comfort and hope to many people as it did for me. Plus, faith and belief is a deeply personal thing that I don’t really think I have room to comment on another person’s faith walk. My mental health required that I let go of that journey and embark on a personal spiritual journey of self-discovery, self-love and self-acceptance. Psychotherapy and other modalities proved to be more effective in helping me eliminate the internalized homophobia I had.Resources:Find a therapist in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?tr=Hdr_BrandLow-cost therapy for black women: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/Low cost remote and in person therapy: https://openpathcollective.org/Call to action: If you prefer to read than to listen, the show notes are on the blog here: https://christabelmintahgalloway.com/religion-and-internalized-homophobia/Forward this and other episodes to anyone who you think might benefit from itRate the episodes and write a review to get the message out because the podcast folks love to see that stuff.DM me on IG to continue the conversation: https://www.instagram.com/christabelmintahgalloway/Until next time, be well,xoc. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

*Trigger warning: Domestic Violence, Self harm, suicidal ideation and other traumas*In my most vulnerable share to date, I talk about how an abusive childhood and a tumultuous teen years and early adulthood led me to seek help. The pitfalls along the way and how I came to have a deep understanding of my innate goodness and worth. Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I tell you my "why", why did I decide to start a podcast in a world with a million podcasts? Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe