When Your Kid Asks About Scary News: The HEAR Script for Hard Questions
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents · Dr. Amy Patenaude
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Show Notes
Your kid overhears a scary headline, and later drops the question that hits you in the chest: "Why would someone do that… and are we safe?" In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares a simple, repeatable framework you can remember under stress: HEAR, so you're not scrambling for the perfect words when your own brain goes blank.
3 to 5 key takeaways- Your kid is usually asking a safety and regulation question, even if it sounds like a "why" question.
- Your nervous system sets the tone. The goal is not perfection, it's being the calmer grown-up than the kid.
- Scary news can stay "open" in a kid's brain like a browser tab, and the questions or clinginess are their body trying to close the loop.
- Two don'ts that make fear bigger: don't info-dump and don't make promises you can't keep.
- The HEAR framework gives you words you can borrow: Hear, Empathize, Anchor safety, Re-check what's sticking.
Grab the Big Feelings Decoder here: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder
Resources mentionedAAP (HealthyChildren.org), APA, NCTSN, and NASP guidance on talking with kids about scary or traumatic news.