Profiles In Eccentricity

This week Matt brings the rich history of shit in the streets of 1800s London and Paris, plus John tells the tale of Lord Timothy Dexter, the repeated accidental millionaire moron.

Matt's out of town, so this week we give you a preview of our Patreon page: Matt brings another edition of breaking down Connections, the show that shows how one historical invention leads to the next. Aaron and John are morons that draw their own nonsensical nor factual connections. Matt really gifted us with this one. Operation Paper Clip, Pulp Fiction, Lou Ferigno, Napoleon, the gang's all here. Try It Out: https://www.patreon.com/profilesineccentricity

This episode John gets all amped up about the armed and armored bank robbers and the shootout with law enforcement that would lead to police carrying semi-automatic weapons. Plus Matt unveils the furniture King Edward VII had made for sex after he let himself go and his body became disgusting.

This episode John takes the lads into the world of the WW2 veteran turned Hollywood matchmaker for secretly gay, straight, and bisexual encounters between celebrities and prostitutes - while accepting, "no money?" From the Royal family to Katherine Hepburn, from Iwo Jima to a threesome with Lana Turner and Ava Gardner, there is no life like that of Scotty Bowers.

This episode the lads dine once again on their favorite clips from movies, PSA albums, wrestling promos, and, of course, porn.

This week Matt concludes the history of watching people walk as a sporting event, entertainment's equivalent of eating Corn Flakes to avoid masturbating. We see gender and color barriers get shattered in the sport and old heroes fall and resurrected. John freaks out for a minute.

This week, Matt takes us to the 1800's and shows us the sport of Pedestrianism, where as many as 80,000 people would crowd around to see men and women walk hundreds of miles around a roller rink.

In the finale of our first three part Profile, Erik Hanussen gets intimately close with Hitler, Nazi underlings grow suspicious, startling predictions about the future are unveiled, and Wolf Von Hellstrom begins to circle his prey.

This week Aaron continues the saga of the mystic/con man that ended up in the heart of the Third Reich. In Part Two of our first three parter, Erik works corpse duty during WWI and uses dead soldiers' names, fucks up everything except charming people, goes AWOL to perform for royalty, and meets Wolf Von. Helldorf, who will lead him to Adolf Hitler.

This week Aaron tells the tale of the boy who would grow up to be Adolf Hitler's personal clairvoyant. Hear about his premonitions of disaster, running away with the circus, outwitting con artists, starting fires, and helping his father commit suicide with a table!

This week John tells the tale of a closeted wanna-be cop and pseudo Nazi turned openly gay armed robber that stole $2 million and bankrolled one of the most expensive gay porn movies ever created.

This week John brings the lads tales of a war deserter hiding in a pig sty, aerial stunts in a Nissan in Florida, and a man pretending to be Joe Montana before getting into the Cherry Sisters, vaudevillian performers who constantly sold out shows because audio yes violently hated them.

This week guest Joe Kaye shares the saga of Valerie Solanas, the woman who wrote the play, "Up Your Ass," and "The SCUM Manifesto," launched militant 2nd wave feminism, and attempted to kill Andy Warhol! This one is a blast!

This episode Aaron kicks off with a childhood-era pee-themed clip, Matt follows with a news story about a man with a nine day erection, and John dives into the story of a woman that jerked off dolphins while attempting to teach then to speak in a 1960's NASA-funded experiment! It's the dumbest episode yet!

This week we wrap up the saga of swindler and faux doctor John Brinkley who promised cuck patients virility though goat testicle transplants and find out how his latter years spawned huge strides in radio innovation.

This episode Matt kicks off another two part Profile with the story of faux doctor swindler John R. Brinkley, who convinced early 20th century cucks that the answer to their impotence was goat balls placed within their own balls surgically.

This week a preview of a new series on the Profiles Patreon: Aaron breaks down everything about one of his favorite movies, "The Terminator," from Cameron's concept through Arnold's execution. Also, Matt has something really gross. Check out our Patreon for more Aaron Explains and other irregular Profiles episodes. www.patreon.com/profilesineccentricity

This week on Profiles each lad once again brings a wee bit for a 3 way love fest! Aaron tells of a 19th century prostitute who used steak creatively. John meditates on cosmonaut tragedy and sacrifice and Matt brings us to the island that cocaine changed dramatically!

This week, John throws out three Victorian era British brats whose wealth allowed them to go off the deep end. These creeps are dressing their dogs in uniforms, building underground tunnels, riding bears into parties, writing books about eating acorns, riding horseback through hotel windows, and drinking eight bottles of wine a day.

This episode Matt lights the fire by exposing John and Aaron to a new foot fetish sex toy. Then John shares some rumors about the science of swallowing before getting into the story of the little Latvian man who inexplicably built an open air limestone castle, moving millions of pounds alone at night in tribute to a woman who wanted nothing to do with the guy.

This episode Matt delves into the hilarious and savage criminal underworld inhabited by infamous criminal "Chopper" Read. Get yourself a nice bottle of Ouzo and get ready to lose a few feet of intestine.

This week John opens up with a very porny episode of "Intervention" before going into the legacy of the early 90's hate periodical, ANSWER ME! Magazine, which interviewed rap groups, KKK members, and NAMBLA officials, profiled suicide victims, and wrote endless essays attacking humanity before the hateful duo behind the writings succumbed to bitter ends!

This episode John shares the story of a neo-nazi biker gang whose members were half undercover ATF agents, the story of a WW2 SS unit that committed such heinous atrocities that even the Nazi leadership was appalled, and the Norwegian phenomenon of preceding doppelgängers that show up before their real life counterpart.

This episode gets way out of hand. Matt brings the epic story of a French swordswoman's journey through European aristocracy and illegal duels with dudes. Aaron brings the online incel community's belief that women are turning to dogs for sex and John brings the saga of the promotion that had fake versions of the Zombies, Animals, and Archies on tour.

This episode the lads share more of their favorite oddball media phenomena, including a racist, right-wing 80's boardgames, Vincent Price cooking tips, Alex Trebek outtakes and mean asides, TED talks about people dying, and a mildly exploitative BBC documentary about a majorly exploitative Danish beastiality porn film.

This week John spreads the word on the two Italian women who started as famous radio and TV celebrities, then moved to performing in hardcore porn movies, then to electoral politics! One of them died mysteriously and suddenly… could they also have been Russian agents?

This week Aaron splashes back with another expansive look at the uses and abuses of human urine in everything from art to war to medicine! Also, Johnny fills in the blanks on a piss related meme. Pee all you can pee!

This week Matt caps off the saga of the spirit-seeing-prostitute-free-love-advocate-turned-first-female-presidential-candidate Victoria Woodhull! See if Buck, Utica, and the whole rest of the gang don't turn up for some trouble in this epic conclusion to an incredible life.

This week Matt sets the table for the story of Victoria Woodhull, a tale of the ascendant American woman amid the insanity of the Civil War, babies so dumb they were toothless alleged telepathic and prophetic visions, religious and sexual awakening, chemical dependency, spiritual scams, abusive, drunk, thieving husbands and dads, and a society that treasured the female uneducated.

This episode John shares the story of blood drinking cannibal Fritz Haarmann, who killed men so he could steal their clothes for his gay lover and sell his victim's flesh to neighbors as "horse meat" in depression era Germany, all while operating as an underworld criminal and police informant.

This week Aaron takes us through part one of a history of number one! Find out why Roman launderers using pee became so wealthy that the government instituted a piss tax! Plus, Matt explores a Beach Boys song writing eccentricity that sends John and Aaron into an interdimensional k-hole.

This episode John shares the tale of the man who would not die, unwittingly surviving as many as five separate attempts on his life by a collective of five of his friends. Matt tells the story of a man who weaned himself off of a self love practice involving nutting super hard and often. Plus, Aaron tells of the meth fueled couple that threw a death and sex "parde" ending in one fatality! This episode brought to you by Claritin and Glass, in theaters now.

This week Matt takes on the reclusive tribe that recently killed a Christian missionary and the British colonialist that tried to tame them a century ago. Also, John highlights the "cargo cults" of the Pacific islands that sprang up in the wake of WWII. Sponsored by Coconut Beats by Dre!

This week, fan favorite Laura Crawford returns to share the story of media fraudster Alan Abel who fooled everyone from Donahue to Walter Cronkite, started fake campaigns against animal nudity and faked his own death.

Aaron Pita, in his most challenging profile yet, takes on the original hypervert: The Marquis! Hear Matt and John squirm though the descriptions of the French psycho's real and imagined depictions of depravity and Aaron's careful comparison to modern taboo literature.

Matt brings the story of the Green family, starting with the matriarch, the Witch Of Wall Street, an incouragable, miserable woman, who made millions of dollars and zero friends and ending with the story of her son, The Colonel, who spent as much as he could on everything he could, including one grand mamillian phallus.

John discovers new information on the porn director turned ice cream shop armed robber from episode three and mysteries are solved, chop is synthetic, and the last laugh is Phil's.

For the holidays, we share another killer Patreon subscribers-only episode! Our friend Nisa Ward joins us to talk about being duped into appearing in O.J. Simpsons's TV prank show and John fills in with background on Juiced, the strangest and trashiest television show ever created. For more Profiles content, join our patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/profilesineccentricity

Matt, John, and Aaron bring out another trove of offbeat songs, internet oddities, movie clips, and - of course - insane porno to pore over and get stupid with.

This week John concludes the Nixon Profile by talking about the paranoid president's motives for self destruction and zeroing in on some miscellaneous clips including Tricky Dick joking about JFK's true killer.

Episode 50 sees John share the first half of the story of Richard Milhous Nixon! Poverty, hard work, a little cucky courtship, and a touching friendship with and fondness for another president are just a few of the little known details of the story of the oddball POTUS!

For the holidays, a taste of our Patreon page. We're rejoined by Radostin Zahariev so John can tell the guys about this anonymous Canadian man who is married to a woman but also "dating" a horse. He gets into his sexual history with the horse and is adamant it's consensual. WARNING: This is an episode that is only for creeps!!!! Saddle up! Check out Profiles In Eccentricity on Patreon and consider joining.

This episode John shares the story of England's Purple Aki, a bizarre profile of a fitness enthusiast whose compulsion to squeeze young men's muscles led him to being labelled as a sex offender, serving time in prison, and his conviction for being involved in a young man's death. Plus, Matt serves up harrowing early talking dolls.

This episode Matt shares the tale of high society sapphic socialite Anne Lister, the snobby Englishwoman who turned her nose up at lower class clams. Plus, John dishes on his favorite North Korean execution and South Korean Fan Death superstitions.

This Halloween John shares the spooky pervert saga of physician Carl Tanzler, the German immigrant in Key West who fell in love with a woman who died in his care before graverobbing her carcass and DIY rigging it up to stay "loveable" indefinitely.

Matt concludes the saga of folk singer and entertainer Woody Guthrie with his exploits through the second world war, veering between fame and obscurity, multiple evils from his past returning to haunt him, all concluding in the most emblematic and poignant, beautiful tale of highs and heartbreak in America.

Matt returns from the woods to drop the first half of the tale of folk singer and authentic Okie entertainer Woody Guthrie and it's filled with tragedy, Americana, carousing, shitty breakfasts, Communism, Facism, and a girl burnt so bad she froze to death… all played out against the backdrop of American history.

This episode Aaron drops the poignant tale of basketball prodigy Pete Maravich, whose obsession with the game would lead him to create never beefore seen maneuvers and a mountain of career records, but who suffered when his staggering success left him searching for more.

This week Godfather of Profiles, Joe Lachut, guests to tell the story of two brothers in the '20s who hoarded literally tons of garbage in their Harlem home. Also, John shares the tales of two men who terrorized Long Island during his childhood: a kidnapper and a sniper!

This episode John shares the story of Superhead, the hip hop music video star who became famous for her oral skills and later shook up the industry by telling her tell-all story. Also, Matt shares some shockingly pervy songs from the dirty 1930's.