Plumbing the Death Star

We’ve come a long, long way to get to this point. We have realistic robots, a rootin’ tootin’ theme park diorama and the biggest of dreams. Now we just need the money to make it happen! So help us put on our cleanest black or white hat, saddle up our most comfortable horse because we have to pitch Westworld to investors. But when you really look at it, there’s not many gaps in the market for an anything goes wild west themed larp experience that’s extraordinarily expensive. To be honest, if you can’t make love to the robots I don’t think anyone would go. Which really makes you wonder why we even dress up our robot love making with this western aesthetic theme park and promise of immersive gaming? Surely we just cut to the chase and pitch a morally and ethically hostel to an extraordinarily wealthy person with extraordinarily dark proclivities to help them achieve their fantasy? It truly is a terrible idea for a theme park.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, but we’re just lowly and loathed podcasters so what’s a boy to do to make themselves invaluable? Having no discernible talents but wanting to be witnessed, the boys set themselves the herculean task of surviving the Mad Max Wasteland. Jackson wants to be the only man alive that remembers Joey, huffing DVD cleaner to become the Situation Man. Zammit as Softhands the Shaftless remembers a career choice that is leaps and bounds more valuable than a podcaster but requires a copious amount of Mother’s Milk and a pre-emptive eunuching. And finally Joel Duscher aka Mr Speaks reckons his time dealing with absolute morons on a day to day basis (his two co-hosts) put him in the perfect position to bridge the language barrier between the warlords and the warboys. Oh what a day, what a lovely day to thread that needle of being invaluable enough to survive the wastelands, but not too invaluable that you become a target by other warlords. Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Over the weekend Jackson watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants while eating paella, got excited for what he kept calling ‘magic pants’ and came bounding into the studio wanting to record an episode about ‘pants that fit anyone’ that ‘guarantee you have a pivotal moment in your life and ’possess the power of womanhood’. Thinking hahaha this should be fun, we hit record and now we’re left with this. Enjoy 40 odd minutes of two Joels disappointed in one Jackson as he takes us all on a journey about evil pants that he loves.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yabba dabba doo Joel Duscher is a sick little boy but never fear, resident best boy Adam Carnevale was in the studio to help us have a bit of think about how we would make it rich in the Flintstones era. Jackson wants to have an infinite budget and an army of competent engineers to revolutionise the way the people of Bedrock communicate, Adam wants to wage war and Zammit keeps pivoting. Great philosophical questions are asked like What happens when your toaster goes rogue? and How do you convince Cain to take out Abel? Is having a shower that is part of the family good? So listen and or watch as the three dumbest boys you know try to make it big in this modern stone age society.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let it never be said that Plumbing the Death Star doesn’t have it’s fingers firmly on the pulse of pop culture. Over the weekend Joel Duscher watched the wonderful motion picture Bones from 2001 starring everyone's favourite-cum-actor Snoop Dogg and has the most obvious question on his lips to all that have seen that film: How Could You Stop Jimmy Bones? If you're one of the very few who haven't seen Bones (2001), or just want a simple refresher, have no fear as JD walks us all through the events of the star studded film! From being a humble man about town to controlling spirit realm, Plumbing the Death Star are here to figure out how one defeats a man who can become a dog, who can become a woman, who can summon maggots, who can control spirits, who can create beautiful blood art out of random passers by, who can take faces and uses his portal to hell to torture his victims. It's not a job for the feint of heart, but maybe Officer Respectable can crack this case!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you believe it? There’s so many frikkin rats in this sweet little German town of Hamelin and there’s some fool dressed in pied that says he can get rid of them all with his silly little pipe and, get this, they’re gonna pay him a thousand German dollars and or francs! Well not on our watch! We’ll do it for the sweet reward of 50 Australian Dollars and the love of the game. Zammit finds out what rats hate and immediately thinks of spaghetti, JD thinks way too highly of structural engineering in the 15th century and Jackson forgets just how flammable a tiny town with thatched roofs is. So come with us to the town of Hamelin as we try and puzzle this one out and then deal with that sneaky mayor who won’t pay us a dime.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sure NASA had those big dollars to give Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landing, but what if they instead has a crisp five dollar note to instead hire America’s favourite boys, us idiots? From confiscating TVs to filming at Bondi with Moon Babes to just straight up hijacking Sputnik footage and claiming it as our own! No stone is left unturned in finding the perfect solution to faking the moon landing. There are no nos on the path to greatness, only great ideas that may or may not start a nuclear winter. All we know is that we (and by we I mean the USA greatest nation of them all) need to beat those Ruskies in the space race by any means necessary or the American people will be so sad! The worst American is a sad American, so you better pray these boys can find an answer to this problem quick smart.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a tale as old as time! Man, he lack fire and cannot cook ham, but thankfully man’s daddy, Prometheus, he give us fire to cook our delicious ham! However his cousin (our uncle??) Zeus hate when man make ham! So punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock, and made his delicious god liver everlasting. And then punished an eagle to eat that liver every day! And then there’s that other tale that’s as old as time! Some king, he rude and violated the sacred tradition of being a good host and then cheat death twice. This is no good to the gods so now he must roll a big boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down and then has to do it all again. For eternity! Now as the pearly white gates of hell open before us and the little goblin man that greets us all asks if we want to opt in for the Sisyphus special or the Prometheus platter, we here at Plumbing the Death Star are given the Herculean task of trying to figure out which one is better. Either way, one must imagine Sisyphus, and by extension Prometheus, happy. It’s the only way to get through it.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sure Kyle Reese and that old T-800 were good and all and did a fine job, but in the history of media surely there are better bots that could have protected those Connors! JD puts forward a robot that can do it all, Zammit delves into history to choose the very first robot that is an army into itself and Jackson has an interesting definition of the word save. From ensuring that John Connor is born, to repeatedly running into the skin issue, choosing the perfect robot to help save humanity from that awful Skynet and the robopocalypse is a lot harder than it looks. A lot is riding on this silly little machines.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Smart guys, good looking guys, guys with little machines - these things do not impress famous Canadian-Italian Shania Twain but maybe the three biggest knuckleheads in podcasting can figure out what (or who) will impress Shania Twain. Could it be a himbo? Or a loathed toad of a man? And does it change anything if Shania stubbed her toe at the start of the song? A lengthy discussion about doodads and contraptions is had and make sure you all marvel at the inventions Duscher, this generations greatest inventor, comes up with. Arise Sir Wife, it’s time to get our floppy rocket into outer space.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you believe it? Three drinks! Joel Duscher has not one, not two, but three of the same goddamn drink that he’s going to slurp down during the duration of this episode. He has truely gone maniac mode for this episode celebrating the 2008 Jim Carrey classic, Yes Man. From trips to Hawaii to seeing Biblically accurate angels, the boys are opening themselves up to the universe and seeing what it provides. It’s mostly a little cake with our morning coffee and getting into massive debt before devolving into a bit about living in the sewers, eating rats and mocking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for being stinky. At one point we were a pop culture podcast, when did it change? Head on over to our YouTube channel to let us know and while you’re there you can see if JD slurps down those three delicious cans of passionfruit flavoured Mt Franklin sparkling water.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh me oh my, we can't wait for the upcoming and soon to be mega hit Madame Web in theatres the week we 100% recorded this episode! You can just imagine the reviews "Sony, you've done it again!" - the New York Times probably. "I can't believe this bed you made is so fresh, clean and not shat in!" - Film Fancier Weekly we presume. "The way they used the natural and inate precog abilites of a spider was both inspired and creative" - The Age we guess. "10 thumbs. This is our film of the year" - IGN. To celebrate such a landmark occasion of film hitting new heights, the boys have decided to have one of their famous thinks and try to imagine a wolrd where they too had the awesome powers of Madame Web. From catching spaghetti to helping out with lunch based choice paralysis to impressing our fellow party goers with our sweet number guessing trick, we use these powers to the max for the sweet reward of "oh yeah," and "yeah, that was pretty cool I guess? I'm gonna go chat to my friend Steve now. Steve!". No stone is left unturned when discussing emotional time travel, splitting yourself into four lads and then sending those lads off into the time! JD becomes confusingly immortal, Jackson pitches the world's first 80-tuplet show and Zammit makes himself a little statue for destroying everyone's little machine. Stay to the end for a wild take from Jackson, remember our YouTube channel has comments turned ON!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone says hey, don't anger that witch or maybe you shouldn't wish upon a monkey paw but we're here to tell you that you have nothing to worry about! Piss off that witch! What they gonna do? Curse you? It's not even that bad! Sure, Disney will often go on and on about how being cursed is bad and it's often the major plot of all their animated films, but is it? Jackson believes he could just body being a toad and live out his best life, JD reckons being cursed to be a genie isn't so bad and Zammit just wants to live his best ape life. Listen in as we discuss what manner of beast a toad with the ability of human speech would look like, come across the man with the plan who hates genies and make one of the best cases that ignorance truely is bliss you'll ever hear.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a strange day on the force as it's B.Y.O.A. (bring your own ape) to help solve the untimely death of the commissioners son. It looks like foul play but we have Mr Bojangles, the former smoking circus chimp, to help us with the case! From assisting in advanced interrogation techniques, to grooming us during a stake out, to helping prove we're not no cop in highly stressful undercover situations, there's not a single crime an ape wouldn't be useful. Listen in as the boys truely ape out and learn about some of yesteryears favourite ape based tv shows. Jackson believes his orangutang has a process, Zammit wishes he was a baboon boy and JD firmly believes apes has no moral conscience. It's good cop bad ape down at the cop factory, so let's all be glad apes don't have a gun.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's 1997, a wacky and mad mannered scientist has created some kind of hilarious and maybe sentient goo! This goo is dubbed flying flubber by another of this scientists creation, a robot called Weebo. We do not go into the implications of that robot, the fact that it can love or that it kinda gave birth. That's not the purview of this episode. What is the purview is that this mad scientist uses flubber to help a basketball team cheat at basketball and we want to know what else we can use flubber to cheat with! From a terrible day at the races to a terrible day for one pizza delivery man, the worst brains in podcasting attempt to use this incredible scientific discovery to cheat their way to the top.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your favourite boys cannot believe their eyes! Did they just see two dogs on a date? A full on romantic evening? Slurping up spaghetti with human lips?? Surely not! But if they did, how will this affect their world view or will it simply wash over them like spaghetti off a duck's back? Listen in dear listener as Jackson regals us with an interrupted retelling of Lady and the Tramp while the Joels have a lot of beaver questions and horrible stories to tell. We recommend skipping from about 25:41 to about 34:35. For your health.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Norman has a problem and no, it's not Goblin Madness, it's his public perspection. The good people of New York percieve him as a pumpkin throwing, skeleton creating lunatic and we here at Plumbing the Death Star want that to change! Join us on this journey of goblin-discovery as we attempt to fine tune Osborn's theme, embrace the military industrial complex and make promises to the voting public that we 100% can keep. Just remember everything we've said. We meant all of it.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's that time again where the marketing geniueses that are Plumbing the Death Star have to spin their wheels to sell a fictional product! This time they've gotten their grubby little hands on Men in Black's infamous neuralyzer. Sure it can wipe minds and probably shouldn't be used by anyone let alone the general public but let's see how they do! JD wants to speedrun therapy, Zammit forgets we can't talk to cats and Jackson spends too much time getting his mind wiped. After listening to this, you should go and listen to every episode of Plumbing the Death Star. Again. For the first time (please note, for anyone under 30 this is a reference to that MiB commercial I vaguely remember).Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're in the magical land of Encanto! There's a big house that keeps giving that one family fantastical powers and we, humble citizens of Encantoland don't know how to feel about it! On one hand our lives have become so much easier that we can now spend all our time at Jackson's Loveable Puppet Shop but on the other hand why can that boy turn into anyone and why does that family need to hear our secrets? Now that we think about it, we're becoming increasingly suspicious of that magic house. Zammit has a pet theory on the intended purpose of the Madrigals, Duscher excitedly tells the boys about a great time in history and Jackson offers the small town a simple creature comfort they all want. Maybe the best move is to eat that candle and or touch that magic doorknob to get knife hands or become a chicken.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh no! Plumbing the Death Star’s best friend Olivia Rodrigo has started dating a vampire. That was probably a mistake. What’s more, she went and wrote a song about it for some reason. But which vampire dammit! Who’s got their fangs in our bff! Zammit thinks he can change a sewer dwelling Nosferatu! Duscher refuses to believe Edward Cullen is a virgin! Jackson thinks all blowjobs should happen standing up! Don’t worry though, the boys get to the bottom of it eventually. They also maybe defame some people. Classic Plumbing the Death Star.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jackson's got the covid and Zammit's getting nose and tongue surgery so we're taking a break! To read about that in full detail you can check out the news section of our website! So instead of a brand new episode, enjoy a stellar episode of Jackson Baly Spooks Joel Zammit Comics America that first aired in December 2023 exclusively for Bad Brain Boys+ subscribers! Usually Jackson takes his guests on a mystery of ghosts, ghouls and goblins but in this episode Zammit gave Jackson the gift of a having a break by hijacking the show to talk about a horse he read about in a comic book once.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jackson's got the covid and Zammit's getting nose and tongue surgery so we're taking a break! To read about that in full detail you can check out the news section of our website! So instead of a brand new episode, enjoy a stellar episode of What If...? that first aired in May 2023 exclusively for Bad Brain Boys+ subscribers! In 1977 Marvel attempted to answer the important questions with their What If…? line of comics. They Failed. Now in the year of 2023 the Plumbing Boys have picked up the slack and dared to ask once again: What if?Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jackson’s riddled with covid so no new episode this week, instead here’s an episode from the archives! A Plumbing the Death Star+ that has never been more topical! Originally airing in March 2023 for our beautiful subscribers, we found out Greenday wrote a song all about Spider-Man and had to get to the bottom of it. So in celebration of Greenday’s new album, give this very special episode a very special listen while you go out and buy Greenday’s very special new album.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh boy! Mutants have crawled their way up from the sewer and are roaming the streets of New York! It's time to give in to panic and run for your life! Or is it? No say the plumbing boys, it's actually awesome! Seeing a rat is fine and seeing a rat man is even finer. Duscher equates drinking milk with cannibalism! Jackson tries to make a horse jealous! Zammit turns his cats into people! All three of the boys mourn a fly! New York is about to get way more exciting. See you on Ratman TV.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season’s Greetings True Believers and welcome to #2! The thrilling conclusion of this special Christmas edition of Agents of J.O.(a).E.L! Despite the loss of a helicopter and a boat, Agents Joel Duscher and Joel Zammit are closing in on the Arctic Circle, where Father Christmas has the citizens of Longyearbyen in mortal peril. Battle weary and under-gunned they must team up with the Uncanny X-Men to finally put a stop to Santa’s reign of terror. It’s the cross over of the century! So open your ears once again Joel-Heads, and tune in to hear how it all ends!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season’s Greetings True Believers and welcome to #1 of this special Christmas edition of Agents of J.O.(a).E.L! Santa Claus has run amok, attacking the innocent town of Longyearbyen, setting fire to people’s houses and letting loose his evil minions. It’s up to Agent Joel Duscher and Agent Joel Zammit, along with their teammate Wolverine, to head to the Arctic Circle and see if they can put a stop to this mess. Will they get there in time? What is wrong with Santa Claus? Open your ears Joel-Heads and tune in to find out!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season’s Greetings True Believers! For being such good Joels this year, we got the Marvel Multiverse Role-Playing Game and our bestest friend in the whole world and Jackson decided to treat us to our very own adventure! #1 drops Christmas day and #2 a week later, unless you’re a Bad Brain Boy+ Subscriber on either our website or Apple Podcasts then you’ll get it Christmas day! But if you can’t wait to unwrap this gift and want to help support our silly little games, it is available on our website as a digital download. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from 2 Joels 1 Jackson xx o.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'Tis the season. Tis the season to spend like ten minutes failing to define a jacket and then a further ten minutes arguing over what happens in the Santa Clause. Once that's done we can get to the episode. Zammit becomes a cockney James Bond, Jackson doesn't believe Yogi Bear is his responsibility, and Duscher hates the Bayou. Merry Christmas one and all. Great Jackets.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ben Grimm is a mess. Cosmic rays turned him into a horrible rocky monstrosity that makes everybody sick. Yuck. Mr. Fantastic refuses to fix him, so maybe the Plumbing Boys can have a crack at it. Zammit wants to seperate the thing from Ben Grimm, creating a rock with depression. Jackson knocks the fantastic four's rocket out of the way of the cosmic gas leaving earth at the mercy of Mole Man. And Duscher pitches the greastest comic book the world has ever seen. So come on down to Ben and Ben's and enjoy a delicious meal with your pals the Plumbing Boys. We forgot about Ben Grimm and his problems.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Keeping your identity secret is a time honoured tradition in the super heroing community, so what happens when three bumbling idiots try their best to conceal their identities from the public? Introducing Lead Lad, he may be a CEO of many companies and a tech genius but he’s not in that hi-tech mech suit that he designed. That’s a body guard and or a robot! You may know him as Scorpiman, the menace of New York but he’s actually just a mild-mannered reporter looking for the news! Have you found it? Let us know! And last but not least, the mysterious King Hit! He’s wrapped in bandages and we’ve never seen him throw a punch, but his sidekick Punching Bag seems eternally uneasy with their alliance! So listen in as these three amazing superheroes fight crime and protect their identity!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some of us saw Blue Beetle, some of us didn’t see Blue Beetle. Either way, we’re here to tell you that Susan Sarandon is a baddie. Susan, if you’re listening, please respond to Jackson re: horny like a cartoon wolf. We’re sure the moment you see him smack his own head with Zammit’s shoe, you may reconsider your stance on gross little goblin men, just like he’s reconsidering his stance on gilfs! Here is a list of reasons we think you and Jackson would make the perfect fit1. You starred in James and the Giant Peach and a movie about Lorenzo’s Oil. Jackson LOVES peaches, being little and is slippery like oil2. You’ve both called the Pope a nazi3. You own a New York Ping Pong Club and Jackson can fit at least 4 (maybe more by the time of release!) ping pong balls in his personIf that interests you Susan, you know where to find him. Love and kisses, forever and always, your boys.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We see dead people and it’s making us angry! Go away ghosts before we start taking medication to stop seeing you! Zammit proposes a new kind of heaven, Jackson puts forward his new hit TV series ‘The Ghost Gettler’ and JD doesn’t think you’ll guess the right Wahlberg. So listen in as we try and figure out a way to monetise seeing the dead, wonder how many ghosts are in any given space and do our best to loophole immortality. We might not know a lot about anything, but we do know that we’re chockers full of ghosts and that Jesus was a tradie.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Against their better judgment two thirds of the Plumbing Boys sat down and watched The Boss Baby. Then one half of that third watched the sequel The Boss Baby: Family Business. Firmly steeped in Boss Baby lore, we now have a lot of questions. How old is a Boss Baby? Are the executives we know and love today just Boss Baby Men? Will a grown up Boss Baby have the same personality when he is a Boss Man? Is it ethical to take away the binky of a Boss Baby? Why does James Marsden keep being cucked? A lot of important questions, some answered but most not. So go have a lie down, refuse to imagine a scenario where puppies outlive you and don’t you dare dream of a world with a finite amount of love. Pre-existence may be a factory line ever edging you towards predeterminism but at least your existence isn’t. We think.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After getting in trouble with Johnny Law and sentenced to 500 hours of community service we did not think that the fine people of Minnesota would take pee-wee hockey this seriously but here we are. Sure, Coach Bombay learned that winning isn’t everything and that the most important thing is that you have fun (but also that you do indeed win) but we’re already there! Zammit goes off to serve out his community service in the rude future of 4040, Jackson has a terrible time on the rink as the saddest little boy in the stands and JD belittles a very sad old man. It’s Hawks v District Larger Hawks as we set a moose loose, try to run out the clock and keep cutting Averman.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the worse time of year. Mum’s search for our new step-dad has coincided with the spooky season. Deck the halls with cobwebs and ghouls, it’s All Hallows Eve as mum goes to the woods to find her newest soulmate. Be it playing catch, providing for the fam or slamming our mother’s cheeks, we rate these potential dads on our patented 5 point system to learn which of these three cryptid bachelors gets to win our mum’s heart. We unwillingly learn a lot of scary facts about the world this week and once again have yo ask our mum if these new men in our lives are actually potential father figures or just pets. Cos they seem like pets mum. And not even good ones. Happy Halloween everybody times xx oLinks to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s be honest, Jiminy Cricket sucks. He barely teaches Pinocchio right from wrong let along how to be truthful, brave and unselfish. No matter which way you cut it, Pinocchio is let down by every authority figure he meets. So let us look after this horrifying wooden facsimile of a real boy! We’ll teach him a thing or two about a thing or two. And just before we impart good morals or whatever, we do have a quick questions: what is he? He cries but he doesn’t seem like he needs to breathe but he can drown and we are scared. We prefer when a puppet has our thoughts and not it’s own. The Blue Fairy really cooked this one, thankfully we know the perfect three wishes that will fix this horrible, horrible mess.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In times of great distress a hero destined for great things will appear to save Hyrule and stop it getting dunked. Or he won’t and he’ll cook it. Or he’ll arrive late. Sometimes not at all! We don’t know. We’re either too complacent or not complacent enough. We know some guy’s got this and you need to trust in the method. Unless he doesn’t got this because no one can bat 100. Or he doesn’t know that he should have got this and he needs to step up because time is running out! Unless we’re the hero and we didn’t step up and now we need to step up? Maybe I’m the special little boy? It’s probably best to put on some green tights and do some trials to see if we’re the guy. Just to be sure. Or maybe we should find the guy? All of this is too much, best to just think about Mario eating a bad plum.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a story as old as time: Alien crash lands on earth, several spunky teens are close by, da alien lets them touch a blue cube and now they can turn into any animal they touch! While Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel and Tobias go and fight the slug like Yeerks we have different plans. Jackson wants to save gorillas, Zammit wants to sow political chaos and JD’s plan involves time travel and a loaf of bread. So worry not citizens of earth, we’re going to go touch dat rat and become dat rat we touched to really change the world. We never specified if it was for the better. We really want to emphasis that. Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh no, in a weird twist of fate Johnny Allspikes is shooting spikes from all over his body and that young boy has turned into a ham dinner! Best send them off to that school that deals with this kind of thing. Sure Charles Xavier (who we’re pretty sure is a professor) might be able to help them with their mutant powers or whatever, but can he give them a good education? We delve into past teachers at the academy, offer alternative teaching methods and really focus in on the Mathlympics. All we know is that come graduation day we’re going to be sweating bullets (metaphorically and for some of us maybe literally) as we look off into the horizon in anticipation of some kind of sentinel, friend of humanity, bad mutant or us from the future to come over and ruin our day. Hopefully nothing will appear and we’ll just get to kiss Xavier on top of his bald head and never have to join the X-Men.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh no da boys have done it again, tripped over with their pants around their ankles and fallen through the portal that goes to every universe. They also did a little fart when they fell. We look at the pros and cons of Scott Bakulaing v Jerry O’Connelling and when dealt with infinite possibilities the answer is always yes. And no. Zammit uses the multiverse to go to the beach, take ambien and fall into a deep depression, JD wins the lottery and stands with her (in holy matrimony) and Jackson lives in constant fear of being the only Jackson with hair. So let’s all have a quick stop into porno-realm before going on to Oneing ourselves and end our multiverse sojourn by ruining a horses day.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All the links right here on this linktr.ee! Wow! So efficient! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you have a delinquent son? Your child playing up and you don’t know what to do? Or maybe you just want your kid to have the best possible start on the journey that is life? Well do we have a solution for you! With this here fachugger we can cocoon your boy and like a beautiful moth emerging after going through a not-at-all-terrifying metamorphosis, your child will emerge like they were a brand guy! With drive! Ambition! A little guy on their tongue! Spooky as all hell! But if that’s not your speed and you’re on of those freaks that’s an exotic pet enthusiast we have this little fella here that swims real good we think. Plus we’ll even throw in the acid proof glass you’ll need for your aquarium and or terrarium. Why do you need that? Don’t worry about it, perhaps that isn’t for you and maybe you’ll be interested in becoming an investor in our brand new patented technology of acid mining! Where we safely put these Alien creatures in a pit and use all those bullets we have too much of to safely put down layers and layers of acid. It’ll melt away all that dirt and rock and leave only the precious dirt and rock we want we reckon. Get in now while the gettin’s good! Xenomorphs: it’s for everyone!Links to everything in this brand new thing called a "link tree" that surely we're not years behind in getting? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The more we keep thinking about Skrulls the more questions we keep having. The biggest problem with Skrulls are if they’re even a problem. Sure they can look like your dad but who cares? Some people said I looked like Jeff Buckley when I was younger, didn’t do much for me or Jeff (he was dead at the time). Now if I had done a Talented Mr Ripley on ol’ Jeffy boy, that’s bad! But I didn’t, so who cares? Plus why are the Skrulls relying on Fury for anything? The Skrulls are better than humans on every level. The Skrulls are Skrulls! Fury’s an old man! This show is silly, we advise you don’t watch it. Two dads tho? Now there’s a show. Three? My three dads?? That’s money for jam.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh no da boys have done it again, tripped over with their pants around their ankles and fallen through the portal that goes to the Cars universe. They also did a little fart when they fell. Now they’re living in a world where the cars are alive, the animals are cars and even the planes are cars! Going through Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the gang quickly stumble on the first and barely get to the second. With more questions than answers we at least know we can eat their tongues and (maybe) eyes. New sentences are formed this week as fumes from all these cars bleeds into the studio and the dumbest things possible just fall from our mouths.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wilson, the famous volley ball, barely does anything in that movie wherein he plays famous volley ball and life coach to Mr Tom Castaways. In fact he even abandons Mr Castaways and the penultimate scene in the movie! Some might say he was thrown overboard and it was a tragic end for Wilson, but you’d be wrong. So we figured we’d have a crack at being a famous volley ball and life coach. We can provide great companionship, we’re yappy and LOVE to run our mouths plus we’d gossip about all the other inanimate objects we’ve grown attached to like rope, rock and crab. So close your eyes, take your hands off the wheel and set controls to manual as it’s time for everyone’s favourite show: Pilot Distraction Hour!Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the biggest event of the MCU that no one’s talking about! Because no one really cares! When did James “Rhodey" Rhodes aka War Machine get taken over by a Skrull? The boys try to figure out the perfect time to nab the real Rhodes, try to figure out just when the invasion they kept oh so secret kicked off and try to figure out how Skrull work? It’s confusing and badly presented in the TV show. From missed opportunities to clowns as a metaphor, we ensure that no stone (or gem (which Rhodes could have just grabbed (if he was a skrull at the time) as he was right there)) is left unturned trying to figure out when this feasibly could have happened. The answer won’t surprise you. Or it might, as you didn’t watch this garbage.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our son’s talking back but thankfully we have the power of tornado to teach him a lesson! From ‘be careful of ‘nados’ to ‘the hierarchy of things to save’, we leave no stone unturned in our quest to finally teach our boy a worthwhile lesson (while also dying valiantly to a tornado). So pat that Dog Kent on the head, keep cows away from Boy Kent and no matter what, get Ma Kent to the underpass while I, Pa Kent, teach you a life lesson in a very unique and interesting way.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

While Marty McFly has only one thing on his mind (making his parents fuck pussy from behind style) the boys are gobsmacked by this new sound they didn’t even know they were looking for. With little to no musical talent, these three idiots with dog brains have 3 years to capitalise on what will be the feel good hit of the summer! While badly remembering the lyrics Calvin Kline sang, the gang ultimately convince themselves the theme of the song was crawfish and lean in hard and thus the band Crawfish Daddies is formed and comes out with the very relatable (at least in the South) single ‘Crawfish Car’. Sing along as Jackson gives his past self a puzzling message, JD isn’t impressed by you hearing a song and Zammit instantly tries to glom on to any fame and fortune using the only thing he has going for him: his mouth. Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Those little rascals got Excalibur and now they’re gonna goof it up! It’s alternate history time as Lizzy gets arsed from the throne back in the 60s and the royal throne is sat upon by the impeccable posterior of Bob the minion. Will this lead to another Civil War? Will they try and marry off King Bob? What does it mean when the King of England wants to serve the most evil person in the world? Will Australia finally become a republic? Or will we love our new freak king whose arse is out about 60% of the time? Either way it’s nice to know we don’t have an incest king ruling over the commonwealth and that whole incest family are no longer taxpayer supported. No gods, no masters, abolish the monarchy, all hail king Bob.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We did it. Five centuries of some of the worst podcasts anyone has ever produced. JD doesn’t think it’s that big a deal but Jackson wanted to celebrate the only way he know how: by watching the Phantom Menace (for maybe the first time) on a bus on his way to work. Now two little slave boys, one human and one foal, have big dreams in their little boy hearts of winning the biggest podrace this side of the Rim. It’s the eve of Boonta and Joel and Horse Joel must do their best to get out from under the oppressive ownership of a sick rock, convince the galaxies best known fry cook to sponsor them and acquire a podracer of their own by any means necessary. It’s the racing event of the season as rumour has it one team has an unlikely power source that may result in the best day podracing has ever seen.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.