Pillow Talks

“What? I was just being honest!” This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered during conflicts between couples. We’ve all been taught to believe that honesty is a virtue, but let's be real, some of us are crossing the line between honesty into cruelty. In this episode, we asked you to tell us about the situations where your partner said something that felt cruel to you, or you said something to your partner that felt cruel to them. We’re giving you our hot takes on if it was honest or just plain mean. We’re even sharing some of our very personal (and very embarrassing) moments when we were way too honest with each other! Links & Resources: Our email list: vmtherapy.com/subscribe (http://vmtherapy.com/subscribe) Instagram: @vanessaandxander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com https://CozyEarth.com and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Uncommon Goods! Get 15% off your next gift at uncommongoods.com/PILLOW (https://uncommongoods.com/PILLOW) Thanks Je Joue! Go to JeJoue.com (https://bit.ly/45MJ2Ki) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30! Products we love from Je Joue: The Couples Collection Gift Set (https://www.jejoue.com/products/the-couples-collection-gift-set) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller! Now that the book has been out for close to a year, we thought it was about time to sit down and share the feedback we’ve gotten from thousands of readers. In this episode, we’re giving you the five biggest takeaways from the book, including the shocking assumptions that you don’t realize are impacting your sex life, the dynamics that are ruining emotional intimacy, and the topic that got us almost 20 million views on social media and an interview with the New York Times. Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) Course: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Workbook: Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (https://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Thanks Je Joue! Go to JeJoue.com (https://JeJoue.com) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex. Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly have sex where at least one partner is completely silent? This might not initially seem like a huge deal, but there are actually a number of drawbacks to having totally quiet sex. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down for you why you’re having silent sex, the benefits of making some noise in the bedroom, and some simple steps to help you get more comfortable with it! You’ll also learn the surprising truth about which gender in a male/female relationship is the quiet one… Links & Resources: Guide: Dirty Talk 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/dt-101/) Guide: Modern Man’s Guide (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/modern-mans-guide/) Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on their phone and more time with you, or show you that they’re actively working on being a better partner? If so, you’re not alone. 70% of people are longing for a more involved partnership. We know — from personal experience — that getting your partner to be more active can feel challenging. Maybe you just don’t know how to start the conversation or how to phrase your request. Or maybe you asked, but your partner never followed through. Or maybe they even said “no”. Whatever the case may be, we’ll give you some sneaky yet effective ways to get your partner more invested in your relationship. Links & Resources: Challenge: The Connection Challenge (https://vmtherapy.com/connection/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doing the sex therapy business secrets edition! Let’s be real… business can sometimes be boring. So we asked our community to send in their nosiest questions. The questions they didn’t think we’d have the nerve to answer. We're pushing out of our comfort zone and answering questions like, do we ever get turned on while working? Have we ever regretted talking about something publicly? And do we ever have imposter syndrome? Tune in to hear us spill all our secrets! Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Subscribe to our email list at vmtherapy.com/subscribe (https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it normal to notice a bad odor after intercourse? What about queefing? How the heck does everyone else manage clean-up after sex? In this episode, we’re talking about all the unexpected things we experience during sex, but that no one ever talks about openly! We’re giving you the run-down on the most embarrassing bodily functions, how to avoid them, what to do in the moment when they happen, and reassurance that these things are perfectly normal. And we even round it out with some hilarious stories from our listeners, so we can all stop feeling so embarrassed and alone! Links & Resources: Previous Episode: Episode 99: The Bristle Reaction: What It Is, How It Happens, And What You Can Do To Fix It (https://vmtherapy.com/episode99) Previous Episode: Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It) (https://vmtherapy.com/episode49) Previous Episode: Episode 68: The Ultimate Butt Stuff Episode (https://vmtherapy.com/episode68) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our hot takes on some of the trickiest situations submitted by our audience. Tune in for stories about faking orgasms for 24 years, forgetting your partner's birthday, and even unknowingly being someone's first time! Grab your partner and join us for this entertaining episode that’s sure to get you debating right alongside us. Once you’re done listening, let us know your favorite story and whether or not you agree with our stance! Links & Resources: Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER)⁠⁠ If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode125 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that 86% of people worry that their sex life is too boring? It’s so easy to get caught up in anxiety about your sex life. You can’t help but wonder if everyone else is doing it more often than you are, or if they’re enjoying it more. And let’s be honest - it’s hard to get excited about doing the same thing, in the same place, at the same time, every time… In today’s episode, we’re sharing 5 secrets to shift sex with your partner from ho-hum to mind-blowing! Get ready for some simple but powerful changes you can implement tonight. Links & Resources: Course: The Sex Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/challenge/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode124 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hear is time. As a parent, everything becomes about the kids, and it feels like there’s no space or energy for intimacy. But your partner and the love you share are special, and deserve your time. So let’s talk about how to create that. We asked the parents in our audience to share their best advice for other parents, and we've prepared a buffet of tips to support you on your journey to reconnect! Tune in and get ready to reignite the spark in your relationship, even amidst the beautiful chaos of parenthood. Links & Resources: Course: The Sex Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/love/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode123 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks. So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get to decide how it gets touched. That being said, there can be nuances in these kinds of situations. What if you’ve never told your partner you don’t like that kind of touch? What if you know your partner has good intentions, but just isn’t understanding your boundaries? In this episode, we're not just highlighting the problem; we're providing solutions. We'll walk you through the three most common scenarios when it comes to unwanted touch in relationships, and provide practical guidance on how to tackle them. Whether you're seeking advice on communication, setting boundaries, or understanding consent, we've got you covered. Links & Resources: Guide: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Guide: Survivor’s Guide (https://free.vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode122 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a woman who wants sex more than your male partner? All we see on TV, movies, and social media is men wanting it more, so if that’s not the case in your relationship, you may feel like something is horribly wrong. But after polling our community, we found that almost half of male-female relationships have this dynamic! That has even been the case for us in seasons of our relationship. We’re here to remove the shame, show you how normal it is for the woman to want sex more often, and tell you what to do to balance your libidos. Because mismatched sex drives - regardless of who has the higher drive - don’t need to be a dealbreaker. In this episode you’ll learn: Real life responses from men and women about how higher female libido affects them The 4 ways couples accidentally make things worse The single most overlooked step that could make a world of difference Links & Resources: Guide: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode121 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about male behavior. Why do they hook boobs? Why are they such big babies when they’re sick? And of course, the age-old question: what's the deal with their marathon bathroom visits? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Links & Resources: Course: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode120 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions to face, and it feels even trickier when it comes up in your romantic relationship. It’s such a common feeling to have, but it’s also so challenging to even acknowledge. We asked our community to share what stirs up jealousy in their relationship. Four core themes emerged: work, friendships, sex, and attraction to others. We work through these real-life examples and give you a powerful toolkit for grappling with jealousy in your relationship. Most importantly, you’ll learn to pay attention to what jealousy is really trying to tell you. After listening to this episode, you’ll feel empowered to face your feelings head on. And you might be surprised by what you learn when you do... Links & Resources: Challenge: The Sex Challenge (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/30-day-sex-challenge-evergreen/) Challenge: The Connection Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/connection/) Course: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode119 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the credit it deserves - foreplay! Foreplay is the number one way to get your partner to orgasm, and one of the best ways to create more intimacy, connection, and excitement. With all those benefits, why aren’t we doing it more often? 88% of men and 59% of women say they want more! But 67% of women feel like they’re “too needy” for wanting foreplay, 56% say they struggle to receive it, and 62% say foreplay feels boring or awkward. With numbers like that, we know you can relate! In today’s episode, we lay out the 5 things we’re all getting wrong about foreplay, how to have more, and how to make it better than ever. Links & Resources: Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides (http://vmtherapy.com/foreplay/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode118 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you assume or secretly suspect about us? Or what have you simply been curious about? In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into the assumptions you sent our way after we posted those questions on Instagram. From light-hearted and sexy to profoundly personal, your submissions held nothing back, and we’re sharing our vulnerable and honest truths! Our goal? To make you chuckle, perhaps catch you off guard (like we were when reading some of these), and give you a peek behind the curtain. Join us for a hilarious episode that will challenge your assumptions and have you shouting, "I did not see that coming!” Links & Resources: Our NYT Bestselling Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Babbel. Visit Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode117 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotely paying attention to you? No one wants to feel like they’re competing with a device for their partner's attention, but it’s not like you can just toss the damn thing out. If you’re frustrated with your partner’s phone usage, tune in to learn practical ways to establish better phone routines and deepen your connection irl with your partner. Links & Resources: Guide: The Connection Challenge (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/30-day-connection-challenge-cs/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode116 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you maintain intimacy while grieving? We’ve had many requests to create this podcast episode, and to be honest, we resisted because the topic felt so heavy. But then we experienced our own loss - our beloved companion, Winston the pug. Suddenly, we were trying to figure out how to navigate sex and grief in our own relationship. In this incredibly vulnerable episode, we share our experience of mourning. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but we hope our story can help others on the same path. With insights from our community, we explore various approaches to intimacy, recognizing the complexities and intensity of this experience. Tune in to discover how to honor individual grieving processes while finding solace and connection amidst the sorrow. We may be tearful and still in the healing process, but there is still joy to be had, and we’re here to help you find it. Links & Resources: Course: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode115 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back from this?” Sometimes you need an outside party to either guide you and your partner through moving past the hurt, or to validate that the relationship can’t survive the blow. Prepare yourself to hear some pretty spicy takes as we examine each situation and get real about when to talk it out, when to just plain walk, and how to know the difference. Because while we fully support communication and forgiveness, we also advocate the enforcement of boundaries, intention, and respect. Tune in to the episode, then meet us over on IG and let us know if you agree with our advice or have your own hot take! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode114 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormones are all over the place, and somehow all the things that used to work in the bedroom just don’t feel the same anymore. But don’t worry, it’s still possible to keep the fires burning while pregnant. We’re here to guide you through the most common challenges couples face during this extraordinary journey. We’re talking about things like body image issues, fears of hurting the baby, and libido changes. Grab your partner and tune in together, because this episode will leave you feeling ready to reconnect! Links & Resources: Challenge: The Sex Challenge (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/30-day-sex-challenge-vol-2-cs/) Course: Art Of initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Course: Next level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/byslbtl-2/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to drinkAG1.com/PILLOW (http://drinkAG1.com/PILLOW) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode113 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intimacy of your relationship. But for most couples, compliments are surprisingly hard to come by! Maybe you’ve never been good at receiving them, so now your partner doesn’t feel it’s worth the effort. Maybe your family never gave compliments when you were growing up, so you’re uncomfortable with them. Or maybe you’ve simply forgotten how sweet they can be! We’re here to help you figure out what your partner wants to hear, and how to move past the blockages that leave you tongue tied. Our tips will create little moments of happiness and gratitude in your relationship, and remind you what you love about each other. This compliment roadmap is also the perfect soundtrack to play in the background, allowing your partner to "accidentally" overhear our tips. Warning: this episode can cause butterflies, excessive kisses, and possible trips to the nearest bedroom. Links & Resources: Course: The Connection Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/connection/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow50 and use code pillow50 to get 50% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode112 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it so hard to talk to your partner about sex? You talk about everything else, but the minute it becomes about your sex life, they shut down. It’s not just you! In our recent Instagram poll, 52% of people reported having this issue with a partner. In this episode, we dissect the four most common reasons why partners refuse to talk about sex, and help you understand the reasons your partner may behave this way. We give you specific examples of what to say (and not say) so you can get past the stonewalling and dismissal and have open and real conversations about your sex life. So if you’re ready to break down some walls and create the intimacy you desire, then tune in! Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) Free Guide: The Survivor’s Guide (http://vmtherapy.com/survivor/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Go to drinkAG1.com/PILLOW (http://drinkAG1.com/PILLOW) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode111 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to hear some of the craziest things that have ever happened to our community in the middle of sex? We asked you guys to share your most hysterical and mortifying stories, and wow did you deliver! We may be serious about sex education, but we also think there’s a lot of humor to find in all the awkward mishaps! We choose not to shrink in shame, especially if it makes for a great story! So if you’re looking for a good belly laugh or just want to delight in some cautionary tales, buckle up, because these are the cream of the crop. If you love these as much as we do, let us know. And maybe you’ve got one good enough to make the cut for part 2? If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode110 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiates feel boring, frustrating, or annoying? Do you find yourself feeling too self-conscious or awkward to initiate? If so, you’re not alone! We polled our audience, and only 17% of people were happy with the state of initiation with their partners. Shocked by those initial findings, we decided to dig even deeper with an in-depth survey. Over 10,000 people responded! In this episode, we break down the fascinating results. Who initiates most often? Who gets turned down most often? Does having kids affect initiation? Bad initiation sucks in the moment, but it goes even deeper than that. You might find yourself asking, “Is it me? Does my partner still find me attractive? Do they not think I’m worth the effort anymore?” You may find yourself losing attraction for your partner, or desiring sex less. You might wind up arguing, going cold, or questioning your compatibility. This is a big issue in relationships, and it’s crucial that we solve it! Links & Resources: Guide: The Art Of Initiation (http://vmtherapy.com/initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode109. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have started faking. Maybe you were trying to protect your partner’s ego, or trying to make it seem like there was good chemistry between the two of you. Maybe you were worried about taking too long to orgasm, or maybe you‘d never had one so you didn’t even know how you were supposed to get there with your partner. But what do you do if you’re now in the situation where you’ve been faking for so long that you don’t know how to get yourself out of the hole? We have good news and better news. First, you’re not broken and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. And we have three options for how to stop faking and start having the orgasms that you deserve! Because life’s too short to fake your way through sex. Links & Resources: Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Athletic Greens. Go to athleticgreens.com/pillow (http://athleticgreens.com/pillow) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode108. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we’re dedicating an entire episode to our queer community! Inclusivity is one of our core company values, and while we try to make all of our content as inclusive as possible, we wanted to highlight and celebrate our queer community in this special episode. It was important to us to center the queer experience, so we asked our queer community members to share questions they would love to ask to other queer people. We got questions like: Best tips for navigating the coming out process? How do I honor my bisexuality in a straight-facing relationship? How do I navigate being queer but not feeling "queer enough"? It was beautiful to witness our audience spread love and compassion to one another. (And to be honest, most of it’s good advice for ANY relationship, because love is love, no matter the gender or orientation.) So this episode is really a love letter from us, giving a voice to a group of people so often overlooked when it comes to content about love and relationships. We see you, we honor you, and we hope you leave this episode knowing you deserve happiness, you deserve to be comfortable in your own skin, and you are enough. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 (http://GreenChef.com/pillow60) and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode107 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on Tracy O’Malley, and after hearing this episode, we think you’ll understand why. Tracy is a phenomenal Enneagram expert who helps you understand how your personality type affects how you show up in life and love. We thought it would be fun to do a couples session with Tracy, and we gave her full permission to share our strengths and challenges with you. We were absolutely blown away - like jaws on the floor - by how accurately she described our relationship. She explained how our Enneagram types (5 and 7) work in a relationship, the ways we’re accidentally driving each other nuts, and how we can show each other more grace. And she even provided tons of guidance for how people of any type can use the Enneagram to improve their relationships. (Just wait until you hear her tip about our younger selves...) Whether you’re an Enneagram newbie or pro, or if you just want an intimate peek into the inner workings of our relationship, this episode is a must-listen! Click here (https://www.tracyomalley.com/) and use code PILLOW to access Tracy O’Malley’s Enneagram Type Blueprint for 5% off! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode106 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode 91 we asked the age-old question, “Is This Normal?” We're back to deliver another round of jaw-dropping, mind-boggling, and side-splitting revelations in our second installment. You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal to resent my husband after having a baby? Is it normal that I started masturbating at age five? Is it normal for a man to need assistance to get hard? Is it normal being bored AF with partnered sex? And so much more! Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod your head in recognition as we address your questions head-on! Links & Resources: Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide: Rediscovering Desire (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/rediscovering-desire/) Guide: Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/) Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Our Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/PILLOW (http://StoryWorth.com/PILLOW). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode105 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get ready to dive into our New York Times instant best-selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. With special permission from our publisher Simon & Schuster, we’re able to share the entire first chapter of the audiobook with you! The first chapter is a special one. After listening, you’ll understand why sex starts to feel so complicated in long-term relationships. You’ll no longer feel alone or scared about the future of your relationship. (So many people have told us they were in tears in the first few pages.) And you’ll feel inspired and excited to have these five Sex Talks with your partner! Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Athletic Greens. Go to athleticgreens.com/pillow (http://athleticgreens.com/pillow) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode104 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our “What Do Men Really Think About” episodes were so popular that we knew we just had to do an episode about what women are really thinking! So we asked our Instagram community to give us topics they’ve always been curious about, and we turned those questions into polls that we asked women to answer. This week, we’re sharing what women really think about topics like penis performance issues, masturbation, penis size, period sex (wait until you hear Xander’s story about his college girlfriend), and so much more! Links & Resources: Guide: Modern Man’s Guide (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/modern-mans-guide/) Guide: Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: 👉 ⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER) Bundle: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/) (Foreplay Guides — Vulva and Penis Editions, Next Level Intercourse, Butt Stuff, Dirty Talk 101) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow) . Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 (http://GreenChef.com/pillow60) and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode103. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You wanna go another round? Because we DEFINITELY do! It’s time for part 2 of Smash Or Pass, our series where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips. This time it’s all about intercourse. If you haven’t listened to the first one (episode 97), make sure you head over there after this episode. We thought we went as far out of the box as we’d ever go in that first episode, but we were wrong. Let’s just say that in this episode, we go to new heights of what we’re willing to do on air for you! Tune in to hear our hot takes on these intercourse tips, the most disastrous tip we’ve ever heard, and which ones were actually Pillow Talks Approved. Links & Resources: Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode102 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought to yourself, “I love you, but I don’t like you right now”? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us! We’ve been dying to do an episode about the topic, but when we polled our audience on IG, it quickly became obvious that this needed to be a series, not just a single episode. So this week, we’re focusing on one of the most frequent complaints - gaming. 40% of our Instagram community said gaming is hurting their relationship. The gamers are feeling dismissed and misunderstood, and the partners are feeling lonely and unprioritized. In this episode, we’ll teach you how to both be accountable for your wants and needs, how to avoid common pitfalls, and even reveal the 3 things that gamers wish you knew as a non-gamer. Whether you’re listening together or solo, we hope you take some notes to help you get on the same page, because no hobby should come in between you and your partner. Head on over to our Instagram afterwards and tell us what you found most helpful, and also, let us know what you’d like to see as the next topic in the series! Links & Resources: Guide: Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/PILLOW (http://StoryWorth.com/PILLOW) Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode101 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you believe this is our 100th episode??? We knew we had to do something super special to commemorate the occasion, so we decided to play “Know Ya Boo” (bonus points if you get the Parks and Rec reference). You guys gave us 50 questions, and our job was to guess each other’s answers. The results had us in stitches from start to finish. There’s even one answer that we had to censor. Make sure you listen all the way through to get the scoop on which one of us comes out on top. (Let’s just say Vanessa got a little too excited to turn it into a competition!) Afterwards, you can play our version of Know Ya Boo with your partner. DM us with how it went, and if you beat our scores! In all seriousness though, doing 100 episode of Pillow Talks has been an honor and a joy. Thank you for coming along for the ride with us! Links & Resources: Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide: Sexual Bucket List (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-bucket-list/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode100 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa created, and 8 million people watched! The Bristle Reaction is when your partner comes in for a hug or a kiss, and you feel yourself recoil. No matter how much you love your partner, there are times when their touch can immediately create a sense of tension. We polled our Instagram audience and found out 84% of people have experienced The Bristle Reaction. Even though it’s so common, most people have no idea what to do about it. In fact, that’s been the main comment on our viral TikTok: “How do we fix it?” So strap in, because we’ve got what you need! We go through the 3 major reasons why The Bristle Reaction happens, and 6 ways to overcome it. If you’re ready to start enjoying your partner’s touch again, this episode is a must-listen! Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) Guide: Initiation 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/initiation101/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 (http://GreenChef.com/pillow60) and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode99 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s time to talk about Dead Bedrooms. Does your sex life feel like a ghost of what it used to be? Has it felt that way so long that you don’t know if it will ever recover? Are you grappling with feelings of isolation, loneliness, shame, and/or hopeless? First of all, please know that you’re not alone. When we reached out to our Instagram audience asking people to share their stories of Dead Bedrooms, we were completely overwhelmed by the number of responses. There are so many couples feeling weighed down by not just the loss of their sex life, but their intimacy altogether. Their stories were so layered that “it’s complicated” doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. So let’s talk about what it’s like to live with a Dead Bedroom and what you can do about it. We sifted through all the stories our community members sent in, and picked one to dissect live in this episode. You’ll get an intimate peek at what’s really going on in another couple’s bedroom. We’ll give you plenty of resources for navigating the pain and frustration, tips for getting the conversation going, and advice on navigating common pitfalls. A Dead Bedroom only stays that way if you let it; we’re here to help you resuscitate it! Links & Resources: Guide: Milfs, Dilfs, Pilfs (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/pilfs/) Guide: Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Our Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to zocdoc.com/pillow (http://zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode98 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all seen the articles from cheesy women’s magazines (and TikTok)…“10 foolproof ways to drive your man wild in bed!” But so many of the tips just sound weird. (Slipping a donut over his penis? Really?) There’s a never-ending supply of suggestions to supposedly turn up the heat in the bedroom, but do any of them actually work?? We asked our Instagram audience to share the sex tips they’ve always been curious about, and decided to be the guinea pigs for you! Along with some hilarious sex mishaps and admitting which ones made us run screaming, you’re gonna get the scoop on which sex tips are worth a try and which ones were truly just doomed from the start. You’ll even get to hear our actual voice memos from our experiments. Gulp. It was truly a wild ride, but since we’re doing this in the name of science, we also give you a cheat code or two on how to turn what sounds like a click-bait nightmare into a little trick to keep up your sleeve when you’re feeling like mixing it up. Links & Resources: Guide: The Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://dipseastories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode97 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time? In the same bed? In the same ROOM? It’s easy to get stuck in the stereotypes of what a couple “should” be doing, and what it means if you and your partner have unconventional sleep habits. After polling our Instagram audience, we found that many of you are worried that “different” is spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e, so in this grab bag episode, we address a collection of sleep-related topics that we hope will put your minds at ease. We’ll tell you all about the choices we’ve made about bed times, bed arrangements, to cuddle or not to cuddle, and what to do with the dogs when it’s time for lights out. Now, we couldn’t talk about sleep habits without talking about the ever-popular subject of sex dreams, so don’t miss out on the hilarious revelations of what really gets our subconscious motors running and how we feel about not always co-starring in each other’s fantasies. (Heads up: At the very end of the episode, we define sexsomnia, how it can be a game-changer, and how it can bring up tricky issues around consent.) Links & Resources: YouTube Video: What Does It Mean If I Have A Sex Dream? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-Ux8UMSiMg/) Our Instagram: Vanessa + Xander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode96 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mental Load sucks. But are you accidentally making it even harder? We originally talked about Mental Load way back in episode 4, and in today’s episode, we’re going to zone in on two nuances that can make or break your attempts to balance your partnership: perfectionism and male Mental Load. Do you have a specific way that you like tasks to be done around the house? Maybe you find yourself feeling frustrated at your partner because they never do things the way you would do them. Or you get upset when they try to “help” because they bombard you with so many questions that you end up just doing it yourself? Perfectionism is hard enough to deal with on its own, but when you combine it with Mental Load, it’s a recipe for disaster and resentment. Or maybe you’ve tried to talk to your partner about your Mental Load, but now you find yourselves in a competition about who is carrying more. You could list all the things you do for the house, for him, for the kids, but what would he have on his list? We asked the men in our community to talk about their Mental Load, and some of their answers may surprise you! (One answer was shocking enough that you’ll get to hear first-hand how to navigate a Mental Load conversation when your male partner carries a Load that’s invisible to you.) Men may not always know how to put into words what they carry, but the weight is still there, and it’s throwing off the scales of your partnership. Let us guide you through the minefield of gender roles, socialization, and the burden of perfectionism in this second edition of Mental Load. Grab your partner or play it loud enough for them to hear it in the other room, because this is the one episode your relationship can’t afford to miss! Links & Resources: Guide: Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/) Podcast Episode Callback: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship (https://vmtherapy.com/episode4/) Podcast Episode Callback: Fine, I’ll Just Do It Myself: The Danger of Weaponized Incompetence (https://vmtherapy.com/episode35) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode95 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Pillow Talks! Is this your first time listening to our podcast? Maybe you bought our book Sex Talks and you’re just starting to dig into our episodes. Or maybe you’ve been listening for a while, but still don’t really know our story. Whatever the case may be, we’re so glad to have you and can’t wait to tell you a little more about who we are and what we do! It seems like a good time for a reintroduction into our backstory and all the content we have to offer. Ever wonder how a sex therapist and a regular dude partnered up to change to world one orgasm at a time? We’ll go into all of that and more in this episode, as we talk about building our brand on IG, spilling our secrets on the podcast, and changing as many relationships as possible with our classes and guides. So whether it’s your first time or your 50th, take a listen as we stroll down memory lane and share some great advice from the OG’s that have been here with us from the beginning. We promise, it’s gonna get weird! Links & Resources: Our #1 recommended guide : The Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Our most comprehensive course: Better, Hotter, More (https://bhm.vmtherapy.com/) All our courses: The Courses Page (https://vmtherapy.com/courses/) Our book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://vmtherapy.com/sex-talks/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 (http://GreenChef.com/pillow60) and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode94 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready for the most epic game of Would You Rather? We’ve done Would You Rather on Instagram a few times, and it was such a hit that we decided to bring it to the podcast. We asked you for your best Would You Rather questions, and sat down to play without discussing our answers beforehand. You’ll get to hear our genuine reactions and honest responses as we giggle our way through the submissions you’ve sent in. Stay tuned to the end to hear our immediate buyer’s remorse that sent us over the edge. Spoiler alert: Would You Rather is a silly game, but it’s also a sneaky and effective way to start genuinely useful conversations with your partner! Would you rather listen to a sex therapist and a regular dude dig into some thought (and laughter) provoking questions, OR miss out on the funniest hour of your life? Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks (https://vmtherapy.com/sex-talks/) Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Past Episode: Episode 83 How To Fight Fair In A Relationship: Breaking Down A Listener Argument (https://vmtherapy.com/episode83) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. (http://RocketMoney.com/pillow) Rocket Money could save you hundreds a year! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode93 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s official… Sex Talks is a New York Times INSTANT Bestseller! But to be totally up front with you, the process of getting here has been pretty wild. There have been SO many surprises, frustrations, and downright heartbreaks. So we decided to pull back the curtain and get brutally honest about this journey has really been like. We’ve been keeping a secret journal of all of the ups and downs of the last few months. Stories we couldn’t tell you here or on Instagram. Stories we’re finally able and ready to reveal. So pull up a seat and sip your tea while we spill all of ours! Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode92 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever had a question that you were too embarrassed to even Google? You know, the kinda stuff that you don’t even talk about with your best friend. The stuff that makes you ask, “Is this normal?” Well we have, and that’s why we decided to make an episode covering all the topics you can’t ask anywhere else. We asked you for your most embarrassing questions, then polled them all on Instagram. We collected enough evidence to prove, definitively, that no matter how you feel about any of these topics, you are certainly not alone! Tune in to hear us reveal some surprising outcomes, some hysterical hot takes, and the truth about what it means to be “normal”. Links & Resources: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER)⁠⁠ Guide: A Year of Creative Dates Masterclass: How To Know What You Want In the Bedroom YouTube: Is Your Vulva Normal Podcast Episode 48: How To Get Out Of (And Prevent) Dry Spells Podcast Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It) Podcast Episode 43: How to STOP Getting Distracted During Sex! Podcast Episode 44: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode91 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it OK if you and your partner keep finding yourselves coming back to the missionary position during sex? Does that make your relationship - gasp! - vanilla? Missionary often gets judged as being boring, predictable, or beginner, and a lot of us feel embarrassed to admit that we like it. Well, take it from a sex therapist… vanilla is popular for a reason. Missionary can be wildly intimate, erotic, and even kinky when it’s done right. In this episode, we show you all the different ways to spice up Missionary. You don’t have to step outside of the box every night to have a smoking hot sex life; just a few tweaks can majorly turn up the heat! Links & Resources: Next Level Intercourse Dirty Talk Episode 53: How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode90 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in the right place! We’ve been together for 15 years and know from personal experience how a relationship can ebb and flow right into a rut. You’re too tired, too overwhelmed, too embarrassed by how stale things have gotten, and you find yourself in the land of stagnation. Good thing we’ve come up with the cheat code! Whether you’re looking for more emotional or physical intimacy, or BOTH, we have you covered. This episode is jam packed with tips for rekindling the connection, how to get your partner on board with creating more intimacy, and even some real-life feedback from couples who have used our advice to find their way back to each other. Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks (available for preorder until Feb 7th) Challenge: Intimate or Nasty (Preorders get $30 off this challenge) Free Guide: How To Get Your Partner On Board For Intimate Or Nasty If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode89 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode in Pillow Talks’ history, hands down. Talking about it publicly was challenging, emotional, and the most intimate we’ve ever been with our audience… until now. After listening to the episode, so many of you reached out to share that you’re struggling with whether or not to have kids. You’re having a hard time identifying your own desires under all the layers of pressure and expectation. In this episode, you’ll find a roadmap to guide you through this weighty, personal decision process, along with some great advice from those in our audience who have been on either side of the fence. Whichever way you go, we’re here to help make sure it’s the right choice for YOU. Links & Resources: Sex Talks Episode 37 - The Truth About Why We’re Child Free If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off site wide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode88 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been following us for a bit, you probably know that we have a book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, coming out February 7th with Simon & Schuster. We’re so excited for you to get your hands on this book, and bring more connection, pleasure, and fun into the bedroom! But do you want to know the real story behind the book? In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtains on what it really means to write a book, get it published, and then get it to your audience. There were moments that shocked us, some that terrified us, and some that completely changed the way we see our business. Join us as we break down the numbers, lay out the timeline, and explain just how much of a village it truly takes to publish a book. By the time you finish with this episode, there won’t be anything left to do but click the link to preorder! Links & Resources: Sex Talks If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode87 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the business questions and keep it personal. We asked you to send in the questions you’ve been dying to know, and you delivered! Religion? Sex position burnout? The ways we still embarrass ourselves with each other? You bet! We cover it all and more, so make yourself comfortable and feel free to giggle along as we reveal all sorts of things for the sake of the podcast. We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never knew you needed to have! Links & Resources: Sex Talks Dirty Talk Initiation 101 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode86 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What makes a person sexy? We all want to be sexy, but most of us don’t feel that way very often (or at all). It can be hard to see yourself as sexy after long hours at work, taking care of kids, or watching your body change over the years. Even worse, we don’t know how to change that, because we don’t know what “sexy” even means! Google certainly isn’t helpful. What the heck are we supposed to do? Listen to this episode, that’s what! We want you to feel sexy and confident on a regular basis. In this episode, we teach you how to identify and create your own definition of sexy, so you can make 2023 your sexiest year yet. Links & Resources: Sex Talks The Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body – Even If You Don’t Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode85 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a year 2022 has been!!! In 52 episodes, we’ve gotten more vulnerable than we’ve ever dared, tackled the topics we never thought would see the light of day, and busted more myths than we thought possible - and loved EVERY minute of it! So we thought it’d be a blast to count down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks this year. Take a listen and see if your favorites made the cut! Revisit the times we laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe, the crazy things we still can’t believe came out of our mouths (much less put on the air), and the a-ha moments that changed everything. We can’t thank you enough for the support and the community we’ve built, one orgasm at a time. From us to you, Happy New Year! Links & Resources: Sex Talks Book Preorder If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode84 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be honest - if you look back at your last fight with your partner, are you happy with how it went? Was there anything you wish that you had said differently? Or would take back Maybe you were feeling defensive, a little misunderstood, or just plain hurt! It would be nice if there was a referee to throw a flag or call time out when we cross the line in an argument. We reached out to our Instagram audience and found a couple willing to share a fight that they recently experienced. In this episode, we go through their text fight line by line, calling out what worked, what didn’t, and different choices they could have made to communicate more effectively. You’ll get a sneak peek at the kinds of fights other couples really have, while learning how to manage relationship conflict in a healthier way. Learning how to fight fair can be a process, but with some practice, you can turn those moments of tension into opportunities for growth and connection. Links & Resources: Mental Load Workbook If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode83 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On December 15th, 2007, a tired girl got dragged to a Christmas party and met a DJ with a heart of gold, and the rest is history. Here we are 15 years later, married and running a sex and relationship business, reflecting back over what it took to get us here. In this special episode, we celebrate our anniversary by sharing on the lessons we’ve taught each other, the revelations we’ve stumbled upon, and what we’ve had to learn the hard way. Join us as we take a walk down memory lane, share some laughs, get sentimental, and get, as always, just a little bit naughty. Stay tuned all the way to the end for some bonus lessons from the only people who talk about our relationship as much as we do. Links & Resources: Sex Talks Book If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow Check out the show notes (and see the infamous freak dancing photo) at vmtherapy.com/episode82 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices