Peaceful Parenting

Chapters0:00 Parental Excuses0:27 Reasonable Parental Excuses1:36 The Pattern of Parental Excuses1:58 Different Moral Standards for Adults and Children2:38 Parents' Responsibilities vs. Children's Chores4:17 Absolutes in Parenting Situations4:53 Examples of Parental Excuses10:26 Moving Forward Excuse12:09 Threatening with Parental Authority12:59 Parents' Lack of Curiosity About Children's Problems14:00 Parenting Jokes and Excuses14:25 Excuse of "Just Joking"15:43 Parents' Double Standards in Communication18:01 Parents' Rules in Comparison to Hotel Rules18:24 Hypocrisy in Parental Behavior21:25 Incremental Improvements vs. Principles24:40 Parental Claim of "Hurts Me More"25:49 Misinterpretation of Biblical Texts29:03 Comparison Excuses in Parenting29:56 Excuse of "You'll Understand When You're a Parent"30:46 Sibling Conflicts Excuse34:08 Excuse of "That's How I Was Raised"36:16 Excuse of "They Turned Out Fine"38:07 Imaginary Disaster Scenarios Excuse39:34 No Excuse for Children, No Excuse for Parents42:22 Free Will vs. Environmental Determinism in Parenting44:06 Challenges of Being a Peaceful Parent1:06:00 The Shadows Cast by Your Actions1:19:21 Transparent and Pathetic Manipulation1:28:19 The Promise of Imaginary Future Benefits

Stefan Molyneux emphasizes the need for trauma-informed care and therapy to address the health effects of childhood abuse.2024, Stefan MolyneuxPeaceful Parentinghttps://www.freedomain.com/donateBrief SummaryStefan Molyneux discusses the profound impacts of childhood abuse on health, highlighting the correlation between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and chronic diseases like heart disease and cancer. The lecture emphasizes the need for trauma-informed care for survivors, addressing the link between childhood trauma, cardiovascular disease, and sleep disturbances. Additionally, the discussion explores the connection between childhood abuse and mental illness, stressing the importance of early intervention strategies and peaceful parenting practices to protect children and prevent long-term mental health issues. Insights are provided on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in addressing trauma and mental health issues, promoting the value of therapy in supporting individuals on their healing journey and enhancing overall well-being.Chapters0:00 Childhood Trauma and Health Risks3:15 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Sleep Quality9:10 Link between Childhood Trauma and Mental Illness11:47 Adverse Childhood Experiences and Reduced Lifespan13:25 The Physical and Psychological Effects of Childhood Trauma16:43 The Power of Peaceful Parenting33:23 Protecting Children from Abuse through Peaceful Parenting44:58 Strategies and Tactics of Child Predators52:14 Understanding Grooming Tactics of Child Sexual Predators56:40 The Alarming Risks for Children of Single MothersFull Feed: https://rss.com/podcasts/peacefulparentingAudio: https://cdn.freedomain.com/PP/FDR_PP_25.mp3Transcript:https://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-25/

Peaceful Parenting Part 24 "Peaceful Parenting" explores childhood abuse's impact on cognitive development and mental health, covering brain regions, intergenerational trauma, DNA methylation, disorders, obesity, spanking, adverse experiences, divorce effects, and empathy. Full Feed: https://rss.com/podcasts/peacefulparentingAudio: https://cdn.freedomain.com/PP/FDR_PP_24.mp3Transcript:https://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-24/

Stefan Molyneux explores the silent devastation of child neglect in "The Soul Denied and Rejected," emphasizing the urgent need for prevention strategies to address its profound impact on children.2024, Stefan Molyneux https://www.freedomain.com/donateBrief Summary Stefan Molyneux discusses the profound impact of neglect on children in "The Soul Denied and Rejected." The episode highlights neglect as a silent drought eroding a child's soul, with disturbing statistics on child maltreatment and neglect. It explores the devastating consequences of neglect, including child fatalities and emotional well-being implications such as self-harm and increased suicide risk. The systemic impact on children's development, including decreased emotion regulation and negative health outcomes, is also discussed. Additionally, the episode sheds light on the harrowing consequences of child sexual abuse, emphasizing the urgent need for prevention strategies. The long-lasting effects of adverse childhood experiences, brain alterations due to child abuse, and the interplay of brain regions in adolescents exposed to abuse are explored, underlining the critical need for awareness, prevention, and support for those impacted by childhood adversity.Full Feed: https://rss.com/podcasts/peacefulparentingAudio: https://cdn.freedomain.com/PP/FDR_PP_23.mp3Transcript: https://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-23/

Chapters0:00 Global Prevalence of Child Abuse3:38 Impact of COVID-19 Lockdowns on Child Abuse8:37 Insidious Changes and Long-term Effects of Lockdowns10:43 The Bomb in the Brain13:14 Adverse Childhood Experiences: ACE Study Introduction15:45 Underreporting of Childhood Physical Abuse20:10 Prevalence of Adverse Childhood Experiences26:41 Health Effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences28:35 Types of Child Abuse and Their Consequences39:33 Effects of Verbal Abuse on Childrenhttps://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-22/

FULL AUDIOBOOK FEED: https://rss.com/podcasts/peacefulparenting/ AUDIO: https://cdn.freedomainradio.com/PP/FDR_PP_21.mp3 VIDEO: https://dai.ly/k6jmFNZ7hYYiHQAso9W TRANSCRIPT https://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-21/

Shownotes0:00 Introduction to Peaceful Parenting2:30 Philosophical Perspectives on Morality3:47 Rethinking Punishment and Discipline5:38 Teaching by Example6:58 Hypocrisy and Violence in Parenting7:34 Moral Instruction: Be Like Me10:21 Modeling Behavior for Children15:34 Advocating for Peaceful Parenting16:37 The Syllogisms of Peaceful Parenting17:28 Ethical Principles of Peaceful Parenting19:26 Empirical Evidence and Practical MoralityLong SummaryIn this episode, we delve into the concept of peaceful parenting with an emphasis on fostering moral and happy children without resorting to punishments and rewards. We explore how historically, the method of training children through affection and praise for good behavior, and withdrawal of affection or punishments for 'misbehavior' mirrored animal training methods rather than nurturing children's virtues such as integrity and moral courage. The discussion highlights how love is an involuntary response to virtue and how punishment-centric parenting may inadvertently hinder children from developing ethical excellence and self-generated integrity. The conversation touches on the notion that children learn best by example, emphasizing that parents must model moral behavior themselves rather than relying on punishments and rewards. The speaker argues against using violence or intimidation as means of teaching children, emphasizing that children naturally emulate their parents' behavior. It is suggested that peaceful parenting involves leading by virtuous example, using reason instead of force, and promoting respectful and considerate interactions with children. The episode also scrutinizes the detrimental effects of aggressive parenting practices such as verbal abuse, physical punishment, and neglect on children's physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The importance of acknowledging and correcting parenting mistakes, rather than demanding perfection from children, is emphasized as a key aspect of peaceful parenting. The speaker underscores the significance of building credibility with children through consistent moral behavior, as children are more likely to emulate parents who exhibit virtues they respect. Furthermore, the episode transitions into discussing the scientific and empirical evidence supporting peaceful parenting as a morally and practically sound approach. Analogies are drawn between ethical theories in peaceful parenting and the scientific method, emphasizing the need for logical consistency and empirical validation. The speaker highlights the necessity of examining the effects of different parenting styles, such as spanking and verbal aggression, on children's health and well-being, to ascertain the benefits of peaceful parenting over more aggressive approaches. In conclusion, the episode advocates for peaceful parenting as a holistic approach that prioritizes fostering moral excellence, integrity, and mutual respect between parents and children, while eschewing harmful practices like violence and manipulation. It emphasizes the role of parents as ethical guides who lead by example and create a nurturing environment conducive to children's moral and emotional development.

Chapters0:00 Introduction to Empathy1:34 Understanding Emotions2:51 The Role of Empathy in Relationships3:46 The Power of Forgiveness5:12 Consequences of Endless Forgiveness6:33 Manipulation through Verbal Abuse8:41 The Dynamics of Abuse Excusers12:18 Enlisting Co-Abusers13:42 The Role of Older Siblings16:42 The Pressure to Appease20:12 The Destructive Nature of Resentment21:28 Lessons from Fire Drills25:06 The Impact of Abusive Grandparents30:08 The Importance of Strength32:26 Lifelong Harm of Unforgiveness37:09 Upholding Moral ClarityLong SummaryIn this lecture on Peaceful Parenting by Stefan Molyneux, empathy is highlighted as a crucial element in improving the world. Empathy is explained as the understanding and feeling of another person's deep emotions, distinct from sympathy, which involves agreeing with those emotions. The speaker delves into scenarios illustrating the differences between empathy and sympathy, emphasizing the importance of feeling but not necessarily agreeing with the emotions of others.Various examples are provided to showcase how empathy plays a role in different situations, like understanding a person's aggression but not condoning it, or differentiating between genuine emotions and manipulative behavior. The discussion also touches on the complexities of forgiveness, especially in the context of child abuse and the societal pressure to forgive abusive parents.The speaker challenges the common narratives around forgiveness, highlighting the manipulation and emotional abuse that can occur when victims of abuse are pressured to forgive their abusers. The concept of moral clarity is introduced as a necessity to defend oneself against false moral standards and undue pressure to forgive unrepentant abusers.The lecture delves deep into the dynamics of abusive relationships within families, exploring the role of abusive grandparents and the perpetuation of abuse through generations. The importance of strength, empathy, and moral clarity in breaking the cycle of abuse and manipulation is reiterated throughout the discussion.Overall, the lecture provides a thought-provoking analysis of empathy, forgiveness, and the complexities of abusive relationships, urging listeners to cultivate moral strength and clarity in their personal interactions to prevent the perpetuation of harmful behavior.

https://dai.ly/k4pEjHovef5w0yA6TPghttps://cdn.freedomainradio.com/PP/FDR_PP_18.mp3The episode explores child abuse cycles and the importance of recognizing, preventing, and breaking free from abusive behaviors. It highlights neglect's lasting effects on well-being and advocates for social support and therapy for healing.Brief SummaryIn this episode, I explore the intricate dynamics of child abuse, highlighting how the cycle perpetuates through generations. I stress the crucial role of moral clarity in recognizing and preventing abusive behaviors. Additionally, I delve into the lifelong repercussions of abuse on physical and mental health, advocating for societal condemnation of such actions. Neglect is discussed as a particularly harmful form of abuse, underscoring the detrimental effects on social well-being and long-term health. I emphasize the critical need for social connections in mitigating the damaging impacts of neglect and abuse, urging individuals to seek therapy for healing and breaking the cycle for a healthier future.Chapters0:00:00 Introduction to Peaceful Parenting0:06:21 Understanding the Effects of Child Abuse0:10:12 The Severity of Neglect0:11:25 Psychological Impact of Emotional and Physical Injury0:23:35 The Harsh Reality of Neglect0:31:58 The Cruelty of Neglect and Sadism0:40:08 Overcoming the Trauma of NeglectLong SummaryIn this episode, I delve into the topic of breaking the cycle of abuse. I explain the psychological progression of abuse starting from a child being told they are bad to them internalizing this belief, which leads to a chain of events where they grow up to potentially abuse their own children. I stress the importance of moral clarity in breaking this cycle and emphasize the need to judge abusive behavior to prevent it from perpetuating through generations.I discuss the effects of child abuse over a lifetime, highlighting the profound impact it has on physical health, mental well-being, and societal contributions. I call for the condemnation and opposition of child abuse due to the detrimental consequences it brings to individuals and society as a whole.Furthermore, I analyze neglect as a severe form of abuse, explaining how the lack of attention and emotional support can be even more damaging than physical or verbal abuse. Neglect can lead to loneliness, social isolation, and long-term health issues, emphasizing the significance of social interaction for human well-being.I elaborate on the concept of neglect being worse than abuse due to the fundamental human need for social connection and value. Neglecting children can have long-lasting psychological effects, hindering their ability to form relationships and navigate social situations effectively. I discuss the inherent cruelty in neglect, where parents may derive a sense of power or superiority from depriving their children of attention and emotional support.In conclusion, I express empathy towards individuals who have experienced neglect and encourage them to acknowledge their anger and seek therapy to address the emotional wounds caused by neglectful parenting. I emphasize the importance of breaking the cycle of neglect and abuse through self-awareness, healing, and forming meaningful connections in adulthood.

https://cdn.freedomainradio.com/PP/FDR_PP_17.mp3https://dai.ly/k2MoIHGZK61FKOzWyOiThis episode explores peaceful parenting, the drawbacks of physical punishment on children, understanding evildoers, and the cycle of justification. It emphasizes prevention over cure and advocates for virtuous parenting practices.2024, Stefan MolyneuxPeaceful Parentinghttps://www.freedomain.com/donateTranscript: https://freedomain.com/peaceful-parenting-part-17/Brief SummaryIn this episode, we discuss peaceful parenting, the challenges of dealing with evildoers, and the flaws of physical punishment on children. We emphasize the importance of understanding mechanisms of evildoers and the need for prevention rather than cure. We also explore the cycle of justification and question the purpose of homework. Ultimately, we advocate for peaceful parenting and promoting virtuous parenting practices.Chapters0:00:00 Peaceful Parenting and the Rejection of Immorality0:01:42 Understanding the Power Dynamics of Evildoers0:05:02 The Myth of Permanent Weight Loss0:09:24 Ugly friends attack girl's transformation0:15:10 The Importance of Prevention over Cure0:22:40 Breaking the Cycle of Abuse0:25:48 The Cycle of Violence: Justification and Moral Defenses0:27:27 Women Justifying Going to Work as Empowerment0:33:31 False Beliefs on Punishment and Badness0:36:28 Homework Targets Those Who Challenge the System0:38:47 The Flaw in Using Hitting as a Discipline Method0:45:06 The Hypocrisy of Hitting Children0:46:20 The Cycle of Spanking and Childhood Instincts0:50:44 The Importance of Peaceful Parenting in Public0:53:22 The Hypocrisy of Aggressive Parenting in Public and Private

Video: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/kTfNzwnxdG0ic1zS7g6Part 16Restitution in parenting: honesty, accountability, and confronting child abuse. Challenging abusers' conscience, advocating for consequences and support for victims.2024, Stefan MolyneuxPeaceful Parentinghttps://www.freedomain.com/donateBrief SummaryIn this episode, we explore the concept of restitution in parenting. We discuss the importance of honesty, apologizing, and making amends when we make mistakes with our children. We delve into the harmful effects of child abuse and emphasize the need for accountability and personal growth to prevent its recurrence. We challenge the idea that appealing to the conscience of cruel individuals leads to change and highlight the lack of consequences for abusers. The overall message is that we must confront hypocrisy, support abuse victims, and ensure abusers face the consequences of their actions.Chapters0:00:00 Introduction to Restitution in Peaceful Parenting0:01:43 Excessive restitution breeds corrupt behavior0:03:28 The impact of childhood experiences on adulthood0:04:54 Devastating Effects of Child Abuse0:06:14 Apology and Restitution: The Path to Redemption0:10:29 Living the Values for a Better Future0:12:31 Exploring the Connection Between Child Abuse and Power0:13:26 The Problem with Aggressive Parenting and its Effects0:16:14 Understanding the Motivations behind Bad Behavior0:19:02 The Lack of Virtue in Child Abusers0:19:35 Child Abuse: Lack of Consequences0:20:19 The Excuse for Abusive Parents0:21:47 Colluding with Evildoers: Betrayal of Children and Virtue0:23:07 Standing up for victims of abuse0:28:53 Consequences: A Principle to Live By

Brief SummaryIn this episode, we explore peaceful parenting and the impact of childhood experiences on our perspective. We discuss the importance of literature, reflect on the Scared Straight program, and emphasize the need for genuine apologies in parenting. We stress the significance of moral knowledge and highlight the importance of trust and taking responsibility for our actions.2023, Stefan MolyneuxPeaceful Parentinghttps://www.freedomain.com/donateChapters0:00:00 Reader's Digest Impact on Childhood0:02:22 The Trauma of Corrupted Morality0:05:22 Society's Inability to Defend Against Violence0:09:17 Elders' Failure to Address Significant Evil in Schools0:12:40 The Failure of Adults to Address Immorality0:16:31 The Taboo of Moral Hypocrisy0:17:33 Society's Education by Evildoers0:20:03 Society's collusion with bullies0:23:17 Tragic consequences of unchecked immorality0:26:08 Hedonism vs. the necessity of virtue0:27:32 Society: A Dark Comedy of Self-Righteousness0:34:04 Apologizing and Restoring Trust0:39:20 Restitution and Commitment for Restoring Trust0:42:07 Apologizing to Children, Excuses, and Taking Responsibility0:45:19 The irrationality of condemning after apologizing for hitting0:47:52 Apologies without admitting motivations hold no meaning0:50:58 The Tough Question: Why Did You Hit Your Children?0:54:13 Avoiding Accountability: Excuses and Post Hoc Fallacy0:59:00 The Truth Behind Hitting Children1:01:20 The Importance of Strength and Integrity in Speech

Brief SummaryIn this episode, we discuss the importance of prioritizing the well-being and protection of children. We critique the current education system and its failure to provide quality education. We condemn the manipulation and indoctrination of children for political gain. Join us as we explore how to create a world where children are safeguarded and nurtured.Chapters0:00:00 Importance of Sibling Relationships in Peaceful Parenting0:02:10 The Tragic Loss of Bond and Approval0:12:29 The Power of Siblings in Overcoming Vanity0:16:15 Treating Siblings Well: Witnesses to Your Childhood0:20:53 Power Dynamics and Authority in Sibling Relationships0:22:32 Divided Siblings and the Manipulation of Abusive Parents0:23:52 Sacrificing the functional future for the dysfunctional past0:24:14 Defending against rape: Punishment or Self-Defense?0:26:02 Verbal abuse and neglect: Equally harmful to children's development0:28:11 Family relationships and criminal activity: Morality over blood ties0:29:35 The Responsibility of Extended Family in Child Abuse0:32:03 Effects of Abuse on a Child's Personality0:35:08 Avoiding Knowledge: Children vs. Adults0:38:30 Protecting Children: Enthusiasm, Education, and Environment0:39:32 A World that Protects Our ChildrenLong SummaryIn this part of the conversation, I discuss the importance of prioritizing the well-being and protection of children. I criticize the current education system, stating that it often fails to provide the quality education necessary for children to thrive. I further argue that political agendas should not be prioritized over the future of children, as this can lead to decisions that do not benefit them in the long run. Additionally, I highlight the damaging effects of fear-based narratives and propaganda on children, emphasizing the need to shield them from such influences. I condemn those who manipulate and indoctrinate children for their own political gain, labeling them as sophists, propagandists, and ideologues. I emphasize the significance of collective commitment to goodness in creating a world where children are protected and nurtured.

https://dai.ly/k1YJK1FOqCjUuszMOhRThis episode delves into peaceful parenting strategies for getting kids to clean their rooms. It emphasizes honest communication, understanding motivations, and creating a positive environment through open dialogue and modeling desired behavior.Brief SummaryIn this episode, we explore the complexities of getting kids to clean their rooms through peaceful parenting. We emphasize the importance of honest communication, understanding motivations, and avoiding conflicts. By prioritizing open dialogue and modeling the behavior we want to see, we can foster a positive environment for our children.Chapters0:00:00 Peaceful Parenting: The Challenge of Clean Rooms0:02:30 Escalating Conflict: The Battle Over a Clean Room0:09:35 The Impact: Mother's Demand and Son's Future Relationships0:11:43 The Mother's Desire for Control0:25:16 The Importance of Open Communication in Peaceful Parenting0:27:17 Bullying in Society: A Difficult Situation for Teachers0:35:21 The Struggle of Working Mothers and Power Dynamics0:38:30 The Pressure to Conform as Parents0:39:14 Importance of Respect in Negotiations and Relationships0:41:25 Consequences of Allowing Difficult People into Your Life0:41:43 Parents' loss of credibility due to hypocrisy0:43:55 Political power and parenting as open hypocrisy0:44:34 Society's Indoctrination of Obligations0:47:16 Lack of Virtue and Exploitation in Society0:50:32 Consistency as Virtue and Safety0:53:16 Apologizing and making amends with your childrenLong SummaryIn this episode, we delve into the topic of how to get kids to clean their rooms from the perspective of peaceful parenting. We begin by examining the common pattern of parents setting rules and demanding obedience, which often leads to conflict and frustration. Instead, we emphasize the importance of questioning the necessity of the rule and understanding the underlying reasons for wanting our child's room to be clean.To illustrate the dynamics of the situation, we use an example of a mother wanting her son's room to be clean. Initially, the mother cleans up her son's room, but as he grows older, he desires privacy and resents his mother's intrusion. The mother insists on a clean room, resulting in ongoing battles and escalating tensions. This creates a cycle of conflict where neither party is satisfied.To find a solution, we highlight the need for honest communication with children. We acknowledge that parents often lie about their motivations for wanting a clean room, whether it be a desire for power or fear of social judgment. However, we suggest that if the messy room genuinely triggers negative emotions in the mother, it is important to express this truth to the child. We acknowledge that asking for a favor from a vulnerable state is challenging, and some parents may resort to aggression instead.We discuss the principle of changing behavior to make others feel better and the difficulty in expecting someone to change solely for that reason. We emphasize how children can sense hypocrisy, particularly in their parents. To avoid diminishing credibility, we encourage parents to express their emotional anxieties rather than imposing a moral narrative on their children. By doing so, we can break the cycle of demanding changes in behavior to manage emotions, which may also impact the child's future relationships.

The conversation highlights the damaging impact of conformity to oppressive systems and the need to challenge societal norms. Peaceful parenting and nurturing critical thinking can break the cycle of abuse and empower children to challenge harmful norms.Brief SummaryIn this conversation, we discuss the harmful effects of conforming to oppressive systems and the importance of challenging societal norms. We emphasize the cycle of abuse perpetuated by aggression and punishment, and argue for peaceful parenting that fosters critical thinking and empathy. By rejecting aggression and promoting moral development, we can empower children to challenge harmful societal norms.Chapters0:00:00 Imposing Standards on Children0:06:57 The Power of Positive Consequences0:09:59 Continuous Improvement in Morality0:19:32 Chef Responsibility vs Restaurant Failure0:22:27 Peaceful Parenting and the Test for Acceptable Actions0:25:15 Aggression Towards Children vs. Adults: Double Standards0:27:52 Challenging the Idea of Timeout for Sibling Aggression0:35:04 The Truth Behind Your Son's Actions0:38:13 The Honest Answer: It's Your Fault0:43:15 The Power Imbalance and the Need for Punishment0:45:00 Unveiling the Punishment and Knowledge0:47:48 The Hidden Truth of Punishment and Dysfunction1:03:08 The Neglected Topic of Childhood in Moral Philosophy1:04:19 Society's Dependence on Child Abuse1:04:53 Resistance Against Oppression Throughout History

Part 11This episode discusses what makes humans unique, the importance of communication, the need for parenting, judging morality, impacts of slavery, and preparing children for adulthood.Brief SummaryIn this episode, we discuss the essence of being human and how our capacity for abstract thought sets us apart from animals. We explore the significance of communication and language in building relationships and the hurdles that disagreements on word definitions can pose. The importance of having children is emphasized as a way to ensure the continuation of society and the passing down of knowledge. We explore the concept of "un-parenting" and its negative effects on children, highlighting the need for guidance and the transfer of adult skills, values, and moral standards. We argue against judging morality solely based on predicted outcomes and delve into the impacts of slavery and the benefits of not hitting children. Lastly, we emphasize the importance of being honest and preparing children for the standards they will face as adults without resorting to aggression.Chapters0:00:00 Peaceful Parenting: Preferences and Identity0:01:48 The Mind: The Immortal Legacy0:04:07 Universal Thought: The Essence of Being Human0:06:09 Living for Ourselves: The Limitation of Human Existence0:07:02 The Concept of the Immortal Soul0:07:56 The Three Ways of Working with Universals0:11:27 The Immortality of Minds and Importance of Language0:14:15 The Consequences of Selfishness and Lack of Contribution0:16:00 The Choice to Have Children or Not0:18:35 The Benefits of Having Children0:21:45 The Universal Nature of Humanity0:23:39 The Mask of Contempt: Fear and Insecurity Revealed0:25:04 The importance of discipline in parenting0:38:39 Negative Outcomes of Hitting Children Examined0:41:26 The Consequences of Addiction and Hitting Children0:44:00 The Power of Moral Arguments to Shape the World0:46:48 Honesty as a Necessary Step towards MoralityLong SummaryIn this episode, we delve into the deeper essence of human beings and explore how our preferences and physical bodies do not define us. Instead, it is our capacity for abstract, universal thought that sets us apart from animals. Through this capacity, we can understand mathematical equations, scientific principles, and moral truths. It is this connection to eternal truth and happiness that makes us most human.We discuss the significance of communication and language in building relationships and how disagreements on word definitions can hinder conversations and lead to conflicts. The development of language and knowledge has taken thousands of years, and we are benefiting from the sacrifices of those who came before us.The importance of having children is emphasized as a way to ensure the maintenance of society, infrastructure, and the passing down of knowledge. Those who choose not to have children but still enjoy the benefits created by those who do are called out for their selfishness. The joys and fulfillment of parenting are highlighted, along with the idea that through children, a part of us lives on and contributes to the continuation of humanity. We are reminded that our existence is not isolated but connected to the vast history of physical matter and life.We explore the notion of "un-parenting" and its detrimental effects on children. Without guidance, discipline, and the transfer of adult skills, cultural values, and moral standards, children are denied their humanity. The efforts of our ancestors who fought for these values throughout history are undermined.

Summary: In this conversation, we discuss the importance of taking responsibility for our choices and actions as parents. We explore how blaming our children and projecting our flaws onto them hinders our self-improvement. We emphasize the need for self-reflection, modeling good behavior, and prioritizing our own well-being while raising children. Ultimately, being a good parent requires accountability, personal growth, and creating a nurturing environment for our children's development.www.freedomain.com/donateChapters0:00:00 Peaceful Parenting: The Importance of Modeling Behavior0:06:37 Taking Responsibility for Children's Genetics and Environment0:09:31 Accepting 100% Responsibility for Children's Behavior0:12:46 Parenting: Teaching Moral Instruction0:15:49 The Importance of Clear Questions and Common Agreements0:19:04 Teaching Goodness Starts with Personal Reflection and Growth0:22:43 Gratitude for the Sacrifices of Our Parents0:24:47 The Joy of Becoming Grandparents0:30:03 The Wasted Existence: A Call to Fulfillment0:31:29 The Shallow Existence of Selfish Exploitation0:34:08 The Closing Door for Women and the Pleasures of Children0:37:26 The Dangers of Hedonism and Pursuit of Immediate Pleasure0:40:44 The Loneliness and Regret of Choosing Money Over Family0:44:09 The Power of Accountability and Recorded Actions0:44:52 The Impact of Family Loyalties on Life Choices0:57:12 Imagining a Mother without Shared History1:00:56 The Importance of Active Parenting and Moral Guidance1:02:45 The Contract of Reproduction: Owning Everything to Your Children1:03:44 Bullying and the Lack of Parental InvestmentLong SummarySummary: In this part of the conversation, we discuss the importance of taking responsibility for our choices and actions as parents. We emphasize that blaming our children for their behavior is unfair and that we must acknowledge our role in shaping their environment and genetics. Drawing parallels to situations in the workplace, we highlight how blaming others for our mistakes is frustrating and unproductive. We even reference cases of planting evidence on innocent people by law enforcement to emphasize the damaging consequences of shifting blame.We point out that projecting our own flaws onto our children is a way of avoiding self-improvement. Rather than examining our own behavior, it is easier to attribute negative traits to our children. This raises questions about what it truly means to be good and whether it is necessary to conform or challenge authority respectfully. We emphasize the importance of integrity and holding those in authority to moral standards.As parents, we emphasize the need for self-improvement and personal growth. We highlight that we cannot teach what we do not know or model, so it is crucial to engage in self-reflection and continuously strive for improvement. We advocate for modeling good behavior rather than resorting to punishment, as our actions have a significant impact on our children's upbringing.Lastly, we address the issue of prioritizing our own well-being while raising children. We acknowledge that it can be easy to lose our identity in the process of parenting, and we stress the importance of maintaining a sense of self. We explore the potential consequences of neglecting our own well-being and the far-reaching effects it can have on our ability to be effective parents.

Chapters0:00:00 The Challenge of Religious Morality and Lying0:02:03 The Morality of Self-Defense and Taking Back What's Stolen0:03:18 Understanding Morality in Parenting and Dealing with Lies0:04:28 The Importance of Trust and Keeping Promises in Relationships0:05:42 Exceptions to Keeping Promises and the Fairness of Honesty0:06:46 Agreement on Truth-Telling0:06:54 Teaching Children the Importance of Honesty0:07:59 The Parent's Responsibility for a Healthy Childhood0:09:04 Making Decisions Based on Future Well-being0:09:35 The Importance of Health and Well-being0:12:06 Balancing Pleasure and Long-term Consequences0:17:02 Principles for Guiding Children's Behavior0:18:42 Model Good Behavior in All Interactions0:19:19 Demotivating Incentives from Parents0:21:17 The Dangers of Teaching Blind Obedience0:23:14 Obedience: Negative Economics and Predatory Realm0:24:05 The Dangers of Negative Economics0:24:54 From Freedom to Enslavement: The Collapse of Nations0:25:48 Compliance: A Double-Edged SwordLong SummaryIn this part of the podcast, the speaker discusses the concept of negative economics and its impact on parenting. They explain that negative economics refers to actions motivated by guilt, shame, fear, or obligation, and emphasize that it is unsustainable and can lead to rebellion. The speaker gives examples of negative economics such as obeying out of fear of bullying or working in a family business out of guilt. They argue that negative economics ultimately leads to resentment and should be avoided.The speaker emphasizes the importance of positive economics in parenting, which focuses on self-interested and value-driven choices. They advocate for building relationships based on mutual benefit and happiness, rather than avoiding criticism or abuse. They stress that compliance with negative motivations only empowers the source of negativity and leads to destructive obedience.The speaker warns against trapping children in cycles of compliance and resentment. They encourage parents to strive for positive outcomes and relationships, delivering their children from evil rather than keeping them bound and gagged. They encourage parents to offer value and happiness to their children, rather than relying on negative motivations.Overall, the main message is that parenting should be based on positive economics, focusing on self-interest, mutual benefit, and building relationships rooted in trust and happiness.

Chapters0:00:00 Applying moral standards to peaceful parenting.0:02:21 Reflecting on parental influence and taking responsibility.0:05:09 Apologizing and standing up to bullies in and out of family.0:07:28 Virtue as Hypocrisy and Enslavement0:09:52 The Impact of Training and Bullying on Children's Respect0:12:43 Parental Loss of Control: The Danger of Raging Parents0:15:07 Parents' Contradictory Actions in Discipline0:19:08 Blame and Responsibility in Children's Behavior0:24:20 Emulating adults: Children understanding the power dynamics0:26:06 Power dynamics and bullying: Punishing the weak, rewarding the strong0:28:31 Powerlust and the modeling of parents: Punishing the helpless, rewarding the powerful0:29:23 The Ethics of Peaceful Parenting and Morality0:31:38 Thirst for Orders: Banning Leads to Hunger for Commandments0:33:49 The Incomprehensible Life of a Longtime Criminal0:34:28 Slavery: The Violence and Denial of Progress0:36:31 The Absence of Reason and the Prevalence of Abuse0:39:41 The Boundaries of Parenting and RelationshipsLong SummaryIn this episode, we explore the concept of peaceful parenting, which is based on the belief that parents should apply their highest moral standards to their children. This means refraining from actions such as hitting, insulting, or screaming at their children. Punishments like timeouts are also discouraged, as they can be humiliating and ineffective. Instead, parents are encouraged to lead by example, treating their children with kindness and respect. They should use words instead of violence and act in a manner worthy of respect themselves.Parents are advised to reflect on their own behavior when their children misbehave, as children often mirror their parents' actions. It is important for parents to resist peer pressure, avoid bad company, develop self-discipline, and model good habits. Consistency is key in modeling behavior, as children need to see their parents consistently exhibit the desired behavior over a long period of time.Parents must also prepare for parenthood by practicing and embodying the highest ethical standards. In cases where parents have abusive parents themselves, they must either demand reform from their parents or accept the consequences of exposing their children to abusers.By following the principles of peaceful parenting, parents can teach their children to take responsibility, apologize, stand up to bullies, and develop good habits. It is important for parents to show their children that virtue is not a sign of weakness and that it is possible to be strong and virtuous.Furthermore, parents must acknowledge their own mistakes and teach their children to own up to their own mistakes, tell the truth, apologize, and make amends when necessary.As parents, we must model our moral responses to mistakes in front of our children. Apologizing genuinely, making restitution, and promising to avoid repeating our wrongs helps gain admiration and respect from others. Holding an apology over someone's head is dysfunctional and unworthy of trust.Raging parents who lose control and scream or hit their children are in grave danger of causing harm and do not gain respect. Children notice and understand this double standard. Punishing children for something they have no control over is abusive. If parents have been perfect, but the child is "bad", then the fault lies with the parents, not the child.

Chapters0:00:00 Setting the stage for Peaceful Parenting0:03:24 The short-term effects of hitting children0:05:23 The Impact of Verbal Abuse on Children0:07:29 The Myth of Natural Tantrums and Child Abuse0:10:49 Tantrums: The Frustration of Unmet Needs in Children0:11:13 Recognizing the Disabilities of Young Children0:14:31 Desperate to Know: Red Berries or Blueberries?0:18:15 Frustration of Trying to Help: Reactions of Rage and Indifference0:21:55 The Power of Listening and Understanding0:23:16 Parents claim they parented as they were parented0:27:02 The argument worsens: spanking and free will0:30:11 Finding one counterexample destroys the defense0:31:27 The Moral Insanity of Assigning Free Will to Children0:46:20 The Power of Negative Labels and Parental Influence0:47:48 The Restraint of Power1:02:28 The importance of understanding consent and preferences1:07:59 No Guarantees in ParentingLong SummaryIn this episode, we delve into the topic of peaceful parenting and the damaging effects of abusive methods of discipline on children. We stress the importance of reflection and therapy for adults with unresolved childhood or parenting traumas. We emphasize the inconsistency of using physical and verbal abuse to prepare children for adulthood, as these behaviors are considered illegal and unacceptable in adult relationships and workplaces.We highlight the damaging effects of spanking and verbal abuse, explaining that these methods instill fear and do not promote genuine behavior change. We emphasize the importance of modeling the behaviors we expect from children and treating them with respect. We challenge the misconception that tantrums are natural and should be ignored or punished, offering an empathetic perspective on how children experience extreme emotional upset.We argue against parents who claim they parent the way they were parented, pointing out that people constantly upgrade various aspects of their lives and can learn and improve their parenting skills. We discuss the concept of childhood and moral free will, challenging the idea that hitting children is assigning moral responsibility and free choice to them while simultaneously claiming not to have those qualities themselves...

Long SummaryIn this lecture, we explore the evolutionary factors that shape our behaviors in dating and mating. We begin by acknowledging that our templates for sexual success are our parents, as they have successfully reproduced. Throughout history, it has been crucial for individuals to follow the parenting practices of their parents, even if they were not always pleasant. Our genes prioritize reproduction over personal happiness or morality, and love and pair bonding exist to increase the chances of our offspring reaching reproductive age.During childhood, it is essential to submit to our parents' authority, as disobeying them decreases our odds of survival. However, upon reaching sexual maturity, it becomes vital to rebel and become aggressive ourselves, especially for males. Women are attracted to aggressive males based on their upbringing, and remaining submissive to parents after sexual maturity is seen as unattractive. This pattern of aggression during and after puberty is deeply ingrained in our evolutionary history.The ability to negotiate rather than resort to violence is a recent development in human society, and trade and property rights have become crucial for peace and prosperity. Parents need to adjust their parenting styles based on prevailing societal conditions. In more trade-based societies, raising children less violently is necessary for stability and a culture of negotiation.Eliminating violence from society is important for resource acquisition and overall well-being. Raising children with better negotiating skills and reduced capacity for violence is essential in such societies. Throughout history, societies that eliminated violent individuals evolved into polite societies that enforced moral standards through social ostracism rather than violence. In contrast, violent societies tend to be dominated by bullies. Boys raised by violent parents assume that their entire society is violent, and they submit to their parents before rebelling against them to attract a woman who prefers aggression. This cycle of submission and rebellion has been a survival strategy throughout history.However, the speaker highlights the hypocrisy in abusive parenting, where parents claim to protect their children while engaging in abuse. They emphasize the importance of knowledge and instruction to help those who genuinely want to be good parents. Individuals who pretend to be good but willingly do evil are seen as irredeemable, as they possess the knowledge of virtue but choose to act against it.The lecture also delves into the topic of discipline in parenting and the potential consequences of neglecting it. The speaker argues that allowing children to make their own decisions without guidance can lead to negative outcomes, such as poor health and lack of success. They stress the importance of teaching discipline at a young age, as it becomes harder to learn as adults. Examples of language learning and sleep habits are provided to support this point.

Long SummaryIn this episode, we delve into the complex topic of child abuse and the societal contradictions surrounding it. The speaker argues that children are often treated like slaves, lacking the power to make choices or hold their parents accountable for their actions. They are provided with basic necessities, but are not allowed to speak up or punish their parents. The relationship between parents and children is likened to that of masters and slaves, with society supporting the "masters" (parents) and blaming the "slaves" (children).The speaker criticizes society for excusing the mistreatment of children while condemning historical slave owners and asserts that there can be no morality or integrity without upholding children's rights and treating them with respect and compassion. The speaker questions why popular media rarely shows child abuse, suggesting that parents are aware of peaceful parenting techniques but choose not to practice them.The speaker challenges the audience to imagine the public outcry if popular shows depicted parents physically or verbally abusing their children, questioning why aggressive parenting is justified in reality but condemned on screen. The contradiction between aggressive and peaceful parenting is explored, with aggressive parents believing that aggression is necessary to maintain discipline and keep children safe, while peaceful parents advocate for reasoning and consent. The speaker suggests that the aggressive and peaceful parenting personalities do not communicate with each other and that abusive parents restrain their behavior in public but unleash it behind closed doors.The episode also examines the evolution of abuse and how it tends to replicate through generations. The speaker highlights the rapid changes of the modern world compared to the repetitive experiences of prior generations. The speaker questions the reasons behind the tendency for those who were abused to become abusers themselves and emphasizes the need for understanding and compassion in the present.In conclusion, this thought-provoking episode challenges societal beliefs and sheds light on the contradictions and complexities surrounding child abuse and parenting techniques.Brief SummaryIn this episode, we discuss the complex topic of child abuse and the societal contradictions surrounding it. We argue that children are often treated like powerless individuals, lacking the ability to hold their parents accountable. We question why popular media rarely depicts child abuse, and highlight the contradiction between aggressive and peaceful parenting. We examine the cycle of abuse and emphasize the need for understanding and compassion in the present. Overall, this episode challenges societal beliefs and encourages a more compassionate approach towards children.Tagsepisode, child abuse, societal contradictions, powerless individuals, parents accountability, popular media, aggressive parenting, peaceful parenting, cycle of abuse, understanding, compassion, societal beliefs

PART 1: THEORYPeaceful Parenting: What Is It?The strangest thing about peaceful parenting is that it is nothing other than what we all accept and practice in the vast majority of our daily lives.Peaceful parenting is nothing alien or foreign or revolutionary or contradictory.Peaceful parenting is exactly what you teach your children – how you live your life – what you praise and want and prefer in almost everything you do.Is this incomprehensible to you?Let’s look at the larger picture. The historical picture, if you like.Peaceful parenting is the greatest moral revolution in the history of the world.It is the greatest progress that can be imagined.It both falls in line with – and extends – all prior moral progress.What do I mean?Well – science, technology and morality all progress when exceptions are eliminated.The more that local principles can be distilled into simple universals, the more power we gather over knowledge, nature – and ourselves.Early moral commandments forbade stealing – but only from one’s own tribe.It was fine to steal from those outside your tribe, but you should respect the property of your fellow cultists.Every planet and sun is a sphere – imagining that the Earth is flat creates an exception to a universal rule – and an exception to the physical laws which cause large masses of matter to collapse into spherical shapes.In ancient societies – and even in some contemporary ones – human rights and privileges are reserved for only some people – while those in the lower castes – as well as women and slaves – remain largely unprotected.Why do we allow these complications?Why do we invent rules – and then immediately start creating exceptions?Well, that is all about power.That which is complicated is almost certainly corrupt.Sometimes, changing a single variable can simplify the entire system – transforming it from corrupt to moral, from convoluted to correct.In the ancient world, when the Earth was considered the center of the universe, the retrograde motion of Mars – the fact that Mars seems to move backwards in the sky at times – was “explained” using the Ptolemaic system. This system was based on the belief that the Earth was at the center of the universe, and all orbits were perfect circles. Thus, in order to calculate the position of Mars, hundreds of calculations were required.After the early Middle Ages, when astronomers began to toy with the idea that the sun was the center of the solar system, the movement of Mars became enormously simple – the fact was that the Earth sometimes moves faster around the sun than Mars, because the Earth is closer – which makes Mars appear to move backwards in the sky.Simple.One of Isaac Newton’s greatest insights was the theory of gravity, which states that everything falls. An apple falls to the ground – the Earth falls around the sun, the moon falls around the Earth, and so on.Einstein also vastly simplified our understanding of the universe by rejecting the 19th-century theory of ether, and substituting the theory of relativity, and the famous equation E = MC squared...

Do We Love Our Children?Love and violence are opposites.A man cannot justly claim to love a woman if he also beats her.A woman cannot claim to have great affection for her cat if she starves it.A bully who abuses his victim cannot claim to love that victim as well.What about love and exploitation?Can a boyfriend claim to love his girlfriend while surreptitiously running up massive bills on her credit cards?Enslaving others through debt is the opposite of love.It is time for a thought experiment.I want you to imagine a purple-skinned race of people.Society claims to love and value “the purples” – but what does that mean?Claims of affection are not proof of love – abusers usually claim to love their victims – stalkers terrify those they claim to treasure, exploitive corporations often refer to employees as being part of a loyal company “family.”Cults regularly engage in “love bombing” – the practice of showering affection on lonely people in order to stimulate a bond to an exploitive gang.It is true that society claims to love and treasure “the purples” – but as sensible, rational individuals, we should compare society’s ideals to the actual facts.How would we judge society’s proclaimed “love” for “the purples” if we found out the following:1. It is illegal to hit anyone in society – except the purples. You can hit the purples without repercussion. In fact, those who hit the purples are generally praised for “maintaining social order.”2. It is illegal to perform genital mutilation on anyone – except the purples. Carving up the genitalia of male purples is encouraged and praised.3. It is both legal and encouraged to use the future earnings of even the unborn purples as collateral for government spending.4. It is illegal to run up debt and force others to pay – except the purples. It is both legal and praised to greedily dump about a million dollars worth of debt on the newborn purples, who must submit to this enslavement and pay for this debt for the rest of their lives.5. Purples are regularly sexually assaulted. It happens to about one in three females, and about one in five males. Although this is technically illegal, prosecutions are exceedingly rare.6. Bad behaviours which are absolutely unacceptable in general society are accepted – and often praised – when inflicted against the purples. If a waiter gets your order wrong, it is absolutely unacceptable to yell insults at him – however, if a purple does something wrong, it is good to raise your voice at him or her.7. Those who verbally intimidate anonymous retail workers are scorned and insulted as “Karens” – those who verbally intimidate the purples are praised as good and noble people.8. In non-purple society, it is absolutely unacceptable – and often illegal – to physically punish or traumatize people who disappoint you, or disagree with you – or make mistakes. When dealing with purples, however, you are allowed to physically restrain them, hit them, scream at them, verbally abuse them, withhold necessary food, shake them and so on. As long as there is no permanent obvious injury afterwards, you’re fine!

Introduction If the world is hell, it is because of childhood.The unhappiness, misery, pain and violence of the world have all been “explained” according to various theories, all designed to distract us from the central, core and highly personal issue.Socialists explain that the world is hell because of rampant economic and environmental exploitation – without ever asking why people end up so coldhearted that they can use and dispose of fellow human beings through the chilly physics of grim economic utility.Theologians explain that the world is hell because human beings are born sinful, and have to be beaten and terrorized into even a remote approximation of virtue.Educators explain that the world is hell because children are willful and disobedient, and have to be threatened and bullied into pursuing knowledge and accepting conformity.Antiracists explain that the world is hell because people mistrust and hate other ethnicities – without ever asking why people end up xenophobic, hateful and afraid.Feminists explain that the world is hell because men hate and fear women, and thus lust to bully and control them – without ever explaining why men might hate and fear women.Evolutionary biologists explain that the world is hell because mankind is an animal, with an animal’s lusts and passions and thirst for dominance. No one ever explains why science is possible for mankind – but not for any other species – but virtue is not.Every civil rights movement has striven to bring excluded groups into the moral center of society. Morals - both legal and social - that were set up to exclude various races, sexes and classes, have all been challenged and overthrown. The goal of the inclusion of all excluded groups into the core moral principles of society has been avidly pursued – and often achieved – to the betterment of all.Skepticism of artificiality has also been a central thrust of modern thought – avoid plastics, chemicals, pesticides and so on. Buy organic, live naturally, embrace the wisdom of your ancestors – massive communities pursue these goal with avid abandon.We have terms for sexism, racism, homophobia, Islamophobia, xenophobia, classism – the list these days is virtually endless. Fear and hatred of the “other,” it is said, leads to hateful language, violence, terrorism – war, even.For all our modern wisdom, one word remains conspicuously absent from our endless patrolling of language, exclusion and contempt.Where is the word “childism”?Why do we not even have a word for prejudice against children?“Ah,” you may say, “but society treasures its children, devotes endless energies to training and raising its children – it would make no more sense to have a word called ‘childism’ than it would to have a word called ‘loveism.’ We cannot be prejudiced against that which we love!”Interesting.It is certainly true that society claims to worship and love its children, and does devote endless energies into training and raising them. The children are our future, our heritage, our worlds, the purpose of our life and being, the foundation of our civilization – you name it!Children are loved by society, and therefore we would never need a word to describe societies prejudice against children.If you love chocolate, you are not prejudiced against chocolate.If you love your wife, by definition you cannot hate and exclude her.What are you talking about?Well, philosophy is all about skepticism – and the longer the claim has been going on, and the more widespread it is – the more philosophers are inclined to question it.The modern world is founded on skepticism of accepted wisdom.Science, technology, engineering, medicine – these are all founded on skepticism of formally accepted “absolute truths.”

PrologueI am fully aware that it seems melodramatic and precious to write an introduction that is basically a giant trigger warning – but it needs to be done. This book is the culmination of forty years work in the field of philosophy, self-knowledge, parenting and ethics. Through my show Freedomain, I have had the privilege of having in-depth conversations with thousands of people about their early childhood experiences, and the effects that trauma has had over the course of their adult lives. They contact me in the hope that my training and experience in self-knowledge and moral philosophy will help them untangle the problems in their lives – I hope that I have served him well. These conversations are all available on my website. I have interviewed many experts in the field of parenting, child abuse, family structures, therapy and self-knowledge – these interviews are also available on my website. I myself experienced significant levels of child abuse. I was raised by a violent and crazy single mother, who ended up being institutionalized when I was in my early teens. I did talk therapy for three hours a week, for almost 2 years. At the end of my therapeutic process, and after months of trying to repair my relationship with my family, I decided to separate from them. I have not talked to my mother for twenty-five years. My father left when I was a baby, and I have had little contact with him since – he died a few years ago. I have been happily married for over twenty years, and have been a stay-at-home father for the past fifteen years to my wonderful daughter. My wife is a licensed mental health professional who practices psychology. Her training is in early childhood education, and we both decided to parent without aggression, violence, name-calling, raised voices – or punishment of any kind. My daughter is homeschooled, and we are part of a wonderful community of like-minded parents. My daughter and I do comedy shows together - mostly movie reviews - these are also available on my website. Now for the trigger warning. This is a very intense book. I have tried to write it twice before, but faltered at the depth and enormity of the task. My experience as a child was a deep and genuine bewilderment. I was surrounded by people who claimed to be good – many of them Christians – and who also claimed to be experts at identifying and punishing immorality. My relatives, my teachers, my boarding school masters, the priests who instructed me – they all claimed to have the ability to accurately identify immorality and take strong steps to contain and punish it. I was punished in school – caned in boarding school – and in church, and by relatives – all because they said that I had behaved badly, and deserved to be punished. But it was most strange… None of the hundreds of adults who judged and punished me over the course of my young life ever recognized that my mother was an evildoer who violently beat her own children. They were able to detect subtle signs of rebellion or disobedience in my demeanour, and sharply or aggressively punish me – but they were utterly unable to identify my mother’s obvious mental and moral dysfunctions – or ask me how I was doing, and take action to protect me, and oppose the violence I was subjected to. I have been wrestling with this massive issue for over half a century. How is it possible that adults can punish children for minor transgressions – I was once caned for climbing over a fence to go and get a soccer ball – but are utterly blind and helpless in the face of adult abusers of helpless, dependent and innocent children?