227. What If Emotional Regulation Starts With Discomfort, Not Comfort
Overpowering Emotions: Tools for Child & Teen Anxiety and Resilience · Caroline Buzanko
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Show Notes
Big emotions don’t shrink by talking about them. They shrink through practice.
In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline shares playful, practical distress-tolerance activities that help children and teens stay with discomfort without exploding, avoiding, or shutting down. From ice cube challenges to boredom practice, rule-changing games, and urge-surfing exercises, this episode shows how to train the brain to stay online when emotions spike.
Designed for classrooms, therapy rooms, and families at home, these tools help kids learn that discomfort rises, shifts, and passes — and that they can handle it.
Homework Ideas
These activities work best when adults join in. Keep them brief. Stay curious. Talk about what shows up.
Ice Cube Hold
Hold an ice cube and notice the sensations as they change. The goal isn’t endurance — it’s staying present until it melts.
Ask:
“What did your body want to do?”
“Did the feeling stay the same?”
Silent Sound Challenge
Sit quietly and listen for small sounds around you. Notice boredom, restlessness, or wandering thoughts without fixing them.
Ask:
“What showed up when things got quiet?”
“What urge did you notice?”
Sour Candy or Lemon Bite
Let the sour hit. Stay with it as the intensity fades.
Ask:
“How long did the strongest part last?”
“How is this like big emotions?”
Still-as-a-Statue
Stay in one position and notice urges to move, scratch, or quit.
Ask:
“What urge was hardest to ignore?”
“What happened when you didn’t act on it?”
Itchy Nose / Ride the Urge
Notice an itch or urge without giving in. Watch it rise and pass.
Ask:
“Did the urge change over time?”
“When else do urges feel like this?”
Rule-Change Games
Change the rules halfway through a game and watch what comes up.
Ask:
“What feeling showed up when things changed?”
“What helped you keep going?”
Delayed Gratification Practice
Wait between episodes, treats, or rewards. Sit with the wanting.
Ask:
“What did waiting feel like?”
“What helped you handle it?”
Urge Timer
Set a short timer and sit with an urge without acting. Slowly increase time.
Ask:
“What helped you stay?”
“What would you try again?”
One Rule for All Homework
Keep it short (3–5 minutes).
Do it together.
Always link it back:
“What did you do here that could help next time something feels hard?”
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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/