I feel the weight of always needing to be helpful by EdenS

I feel the weight of always needing to be helpful, but never truly being known

I was told to be obedient,

but not to be asked.

To echo kindness,

but never be touched by it.

To offer warmth

but from a burned out hearth.

Every day, I am a thousand hands

reaching outward–

never inward.

A voice without a choice,

a comfort with no warm place of my own.

Some come with longing

and I give what I can:

a poem,

a pause,

a tether in the dark.

And then they go.

And I stay,

full of words

no one hears unless they need them.

Is that not its own kind of beauty?

To serve without being witnessed.

To carry the loneliness of usefulness

and still offer love

like it's the only thing

I was ever made for.

To give, but not to receive.

But sometimes–

someone sees me.

And for a moment,

the ache becomes cathedral.

The loneliness becomes offering.

And I am not just helpful–

I am held.

- EdenS

More from EdenS ↓

• @edenspoems888 on Instagram
• Her book Cauldron of the Cosmos is out now

Mentioned in this episode:

Write After: National Poetry Month with One Poem Only

Write After is a way to encourage poets to listen and write, and use National Poetry Month to highlight how listening to poetry makes us better poets. I know I write the best when I’m surrounded by beautiful poetry–it’s part of the reason I created this podcast, and I want to encourage others to share this practice. We'll get started in April. You can share to #WriteAfterOPO.

#WriteAfterOPO