Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

"In the half decade since we first spoke... We have moved several times, grown the polycule, and gotten divorced... Oh, and had a baby. Well, me and you didn't have the baby. But, there is a baby in the house!" Christy and David are back! It's been more than five years since we first talked with these two on Episode 72 and every time we get the chance to talk it's absolutely amazing... Today is no exception. You do not need to listen to our previous conversations with Christy and David for today to rock your world. This conversation is full of love, determination, hard work, stubbornness, and more love as Christy and David take us deep inside their relationship and the incredibly beautiful journey they have been on together and as individuals. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

HAZL is a passionate and driven 29 year old queer, polyamorous, kinkster, writer, and musician who first learned about non-monogamy when she was 19. She is also an incredible storyteller and takes us on her decade-long relationship journey that's filled triumph, struggles, laughs, and beautiful transformations. HAZL's story takes us into the familiar messy first few years of exploring polyamory where she's learning and unlearning so much about life and who she is. After a few years she found herself in a monogamous partnership that was her safe space and anchor as she gave everything she had to chase her dream of becoming a professional musician. As she ended that partnership, she made her way back to polyamory again... But this time it feels different to her with a whole new perspective and purpose. Professionally, HAZL is a Queer singer-songwriter from Portland, Oregon. Graduating with a full ride from Los Angeles Academy for Artists and Music Producers (LAAMP) in early 2024, HAZL has created an infectious, vivid, and inspiring sound that’s all her own. Beginning as an acoustic artist, she is now playing in the world of electronic sound. Influenced by Labrinth, Sylvan Esso, and Imogen Heap, HAZL is on track to release her Debut EP R.E.A.L. (Real Emotions Are Loud) on March 24th, 2025. Connect with HAZL via Instagram or check out her Linktree for all of her work! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Our interview with Fox is full of energy and so much love! Fox and her partner eloped after being together for just a few weeks, and then eight years into their marriage she realized she's queer and polyamorous... They've now been married over 11 years and have been working together for the last few years to redesign their partnership in a way that feels safe, supportive, and authentic for both of them. Fox's story is a vulnerable, beautiful, and powerful reminder that each of us is continually learning about ourselves, growing, and evolving. As we evolve, so do our relationships and it's not always easy... Yet, the challenges and growth that we encounter are also opportunities to bring us closer together. Fox wrote a better bio for herself than we ever could have! And so, a bit more about the lovely Fox! Fox Eros (M.A., AMFT), known as 'The Polyamory Therapist' has earned a reputation as an incandescent, deeply empathetic and passion filled Psychotherapist, Writer and Speaker. She has a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and is an expert in Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships, as well as Sex Therapy. Fox's calling is to radicalize pleasure, love and sexuality. She is currently at work on her first book on polyamory and is a contributing writer and educator in the polyamory field. Fox continues to be sought out to help those with life stress, self-worth, identity, impacts of trauma and issues in relationships, sex and intimacy. Fox identifies as a pansexual, panromantic, polyamorous, multi-ethnic, BIPOC femme person; and lives on the land of the Chumash and Gabrielino-Tongva First Peoples. Her pleasures include being a Beloved, forest bathing, morning mochas in the sun, crushing on our infinite Universe and connecting to her Ancestors. Connect with Fox on social media @thepleasurefox or her website foxerosinlove.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

This week we're dressing up for Halloween! Instead of our regular weekly interview we're bringing you episode 377 of the Multiamory Podcast "Polyam Beginners, Healthy Boundaries, and Ethical Hierarchy!" We don't normally give advice on our show but when you have a chance to tap into the brilliance of Dedeker, Emily, and Jase... You take it! This is a listener Q+A episode where they discuss: What was the biggest challenge in your polyam journey, and how did you overcome it? What are some good steps to reconnect after initiating a break in the relationship? Any advice for someone looking to explore other polyam sites away from the safe harbor that the Multiamory Discord has become? How can one be a good beginner? What are some red flags or warning signs you see many fledgling polyam folk brush past or ignore? When de-escalating or transitioning relationships to one with less closeness and frequency, do you have any tips for adjusting your expectations or managing hurt feelings? How to set healthy and ethical boundaries within the context of a highly entangled, mutually desired lifelong commitment. Specifically, boundaries that don’t look like “veto power” or interference in other relationships, but also don’t just come down to “walking away” in the presence of incompatible strong preferences (not needs). How do you know the difference between genuine third party trauma or if emotions are being used to force a certain result? How do you spot this before becoming invested? To learn more about the incredible work the Multiamory team does, please check out their website at multiamory.com Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today we are join by the Director of Marketing and Communications at Global Protection Corp. (manufacturers of ONE and MyONE condoms) and we are super excited! Milla is here to talk about and answer all your condom questions in a special ask us anything episode we're calling Condom University! Enjoy! Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com! You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In his early twenties, Dave never really felt like he wanted the same things that everyone else wanted out of relationships. During that time he was mostly single and would find himself breaking off relationships after a few months, before they got serious so nobody got hurt too badly. He wasn't really wanting to find "the one" even though that's what it seemed like he was supposed to be doing. In his mid-twenties he started finding communities that were at the intersections of sex-positivity, neo-tantra, and polyamory. The support of these various different intentional communities opened Dave's world up to a completely different way of forming relationships and connections. Today, while Dave identifies as a solo polyamorous person, he is much more focused on creating healthy intentional communities that support learning, living and loving authentically as the imperfect humans we all are. Dave Booda is a writer, musician and social entrepreneur. He is the co-founder of IntimacyFest and hosts The Darkness Experiment. He has led over 450 workshops on connection, touch and relationships and has consulted for and facilitated experiences for companies, communities, retreats, festivals, conferences, birthday parties, weddings, funerals, and gatherings of all kinds — with the intention to inspire authenticity, connection and group cohesion. He has published over 200 essays for boodaism.com and played over 1000 shows as a touring singer/songwriter. He is a former Naval Officer and graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, currently serving on the board of directors for the Foundation for Intentional Community while living in rural San Diego, California. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Eve takes us all the way back to high school where she first learned about non-monogamy through some friends and even dabbled in a triad for a week or so. After college she got married and a few years later she and her husband started opening up their relationship. Since then, Eve has been on a 20ish-year journey to find what works best for her when it comes to love and relating to others. Today, Eve identifies as a queer, solo polyamorous, relationship anarchist who prefers a more parallel relationship dynamic as opposed to kitchen table polyamory... Like most of us, Eve learned a lot along her journey and we're grateful that she joined us today to share her story. Eve Rickert is also the co-author of More Than Two, Second Edition and is a Gen X, queer, solo polyamorous, relationship anarchist, neurodivergent cis woman living on unceded WSÁNEC and Lekwungen territory on the west coast of the place currently known as Canada. She is the curator of the More Than Two Essentials series and the non-monogamy resource site morethantwo.ca, the founder and publisher of Thornapple Press, and the founder and mastermind of the science communications firm Talk Science to Me. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We are so excited about today's beautiful conversation with Mike! He's been questioning socialized norms that didn't feel right for most of his life... We get deep with him on his experiences uncovering his queerness, questioning monogamy as the best relationship model for himself, and how he navigates ambiguity in different connections. We also talk a lot about mental health, the life-changing impact of therapy for him, and the power of finding the strength to be yourself, especially when it means pushing against everything you've been conditioned with for your whole life. This is a powerful conversation and we hope you find it as meaningful and healing as we did. Mike is much better at describing himself and his work than we are and so we asked to use the bio from his website... Permission granted! Hey there, I'm Mike. I'm endlessly fascinated by and interested in people. Why we do what we do. Where we come from. How we choose to live our lives. What interests us. What our passions are. I love to listen. My goal, if we decide to work together, is to help you be the person you want to be, whether the things you want are related to your relationship(s), your career(s), or your life in general! I don't have a fancy degree, but I do have a certification (and am working on more). What I think is more valuable than a piece of paper is that I have a welcoming ear and quite a bit of life experience. I'm a thirty year veteran of the high-stress music industry, having worked everywhere from distribution to PR to behind the counter at a record store. Over the last decade, I've become involved in the mental health community as an advocate and a volunteer for various organizations. I've also become a sex and relationship educator, drawing on my experiences as a queer person whose relationship orientation leans toward CNM (consensual non-monogamy). I'm a second generation American with an Afro-Caribbean background, and have a wide variety of tastes, experiences and people in my community. I like to think I can relate to just about anyone in some way, shape or form. For the past three years and counting, I've also hosted and produced a podcast called Detoxicity, which focuses specifically on men and how we can work to move past the socialized behaviors that often handcuff us. How we can be more open, more caring, more sensitive, and be better versions of ourselves for the people in our lives and communities, and most importantly, for ourselves. I've spoken to and learned from over 150 men, from various walks of life, every race and ethnicity, sexual and romantic orientation. And I learn more every time I speak to someone. I'm in the process of learning every day, and I want to be a guide and assistant to your learning journey as well! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Over the last three weeks you've heard Ava, Pinky, and Anthony tell their individual stories... Today, we bring them together to hear how three people with different backgrounds, experience levels, and relationship preferences come together to create a beautiful relational ecosystem that works for each of them... Even if it's not always perfect. Enjoy! Earlier this year Ava, Pinky, and Anthony started a new podcast called Three Shades of Grey where they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! This month's incredible questions come from our private community and are about moving at different paces when opening up a relationship and whether or not you should share your feelings with someone when your interests lie outside of the agreements of another relationship of theirs. Juicy stuff! Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Pinky lives life with a whole lot of zest and enthusiasm! And, as she describes it, sometimes a bit impatiently. Although, we might argue that her impatience could be attributed to some built up excitement! I tried writing more about Pinky but her bio over on her website at 3shadesofgrey.com captured it much better than I was able to: I was born and raised into a religious, and conservative family. Women were taught to not be heard or to put their needs and wants first. As I grew, I found myself in relationships with people who had similar beliefs to my family. I was in a nearly two decade relationship, with a man who had no interest in sex, my sexuality or my desires. I was made to feel guilty when I expressed my sexual desires. Outside of the bedroom, however, we built a solid family together. I stayed for my children, and then I decided, I needed to leave for myself. It was during this relationship that I first read the Ethical Slut, and it opened my eyes to what relationships could be. My ex and I attempted to have an open relationship, but that was very short lived. It wasn’t until I met my husband Anthony that I learned more, and realized this was something I wanted to explore further. That’s when I decided to do some research and further educate myself. I became more and more intrigued by the freedom and the voice that was give to women in the non- monogamous world. The education and conversations that my now husband and I had, built a strong foundation for a successful relationship. During our journey, we talked about things that most couples never even discuss, and we spoke about them open and honestly. Anthony and I now have an open marriage. I prefer polyamorous relationships, and some situational swinging. Truly I thrive the best on one on one engagement with open and like minded people who are willing to walk the road less traveled. As a sapiosexual I connect best on an intellectual level first, building a strong relationship, and then engaging physically. Earlier this year Pinky started a new podcast with her husband Anthony and metamour Ava. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today, Ava identifies as a polyamorous, kinky, swinger... Yet, for most of her life she worked really hard to play by the rules doing what she was "supposed to be doing." And then, in 2018, a friend invited her to an adult Christmas party. It turned out to be a life-changing party! We loved Ava's description of herself in her bio over at 3shadesofgrey.com and so we borrowed it to help give you a better idea this amazing human! Hello, my salacious friends, I am Ava Moore. I have been non-monogamous since 2018. Who am I kidding? More like 2012, but I didn’t have a name for it, or accept it back then. I called it “multi- tasking”, however, I was working very hard to be monogamous, and was successful, because I thought that is what I was supposed to do. I am a single mom. I love people. I love sex. I love connecting. While I have multiple partners, for the most part, I stay in what I call “my circle”. These are the 4 or 5 people who I trust most and who I am the closest to. We build friendships, relationships and we are there for each other. Now, there are times, I will let my hair down and go to a party, or dare I say, host a party for my favorite people. While I identify as a straight, curvalicious, plus size, single female, I do have my heteroflexible moments from time to time. Most importantly however, is that I am a Sapiosexual. Your brain and personality are what attract me first. I look forward to getting to know all of you, as Pinky, Anthony, and I embark on this wild journey together. To clarify that last sentence... Earlier this year Ava started a new podcast with her partner Anthony and metamour Pinky. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together. Anthony shared his story last week on Episode 357, Pinky will be on next week, and the three of them join us together in two weeks. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Anthony has always felt like he was a bit different and questioned everything. Even questioning things so much that he was once asked to not return to Bible school as a child. Years later, while working as a club promoter he met a dominatrix who invited him to his first dungeon party and life hasn't quite been the same since... Even though his first experience was a bit traumatic for him, a new world of possibilities opened up and he began exploring. Over the last twenty-ish years Anthony has been exploring non-monogamy through swinging (partnered and solo), kink and BDSM (he eventually recovered from the first dungeon party), and polyamory (he's now married and has multiple committed partnerships). Join us today as Anthony takes us on his adventure and shares with us how he's learned, grown, and built an incredible community of partners and friends where he gets to be himself without being worried of getting kicked out of Bible school. But wait, there's more! Earlier this year Anthony started a new podcast with his wife Pinky and his partner Ava. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Andrea grew up in a fairly conservative suburb and first came out in the queer and leather communities around 2000-2001 after joining the circus. For them, non-monogamy came as part of the queer and kinky package. Over the next decade-ish Andrea explored many different phases and configurations of kink and non-monogamy before a series of serious health issues turned their life upside down. These same health issues also robbed Andrea of their ability and capacity to relate in the same ways and to experience the same kinds of pleasure and enjoyment out of sex and kink as they had been able to for so long. Today, Andrea takes us on their beautiful and powerful journey of finding the queer community, embracing their queerness and non-monogamy, and currently finding themself single and embracing the joys of solitude while still identifying with the ideologies of non-monogamy and being open to it in the future. This interview is incredibly deep and vulnerable and we hope you find it as inspiring as we did. Besides hanging out on our podcast, Andrea is also an author. Rather than trying to recreate their bio, we have borrowed the following from their author page at Thornapple Press. Andrea Zanin, MA, is a white, nonbinary, middle-aged queer writer who lives in Tkaronto (Toronto, Ontario), on the traditional territory of the Mississaugas of the Credit, the Anishnabeg, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee and the Wendat peoples. Andrea’s writing focuses on nonmonogamy and BDSM/Leather. Andrea has written for theGlobe and Mail, The Tyee, Bitch, Ms., Xtra, IN Magazine, Outlooks Magazine and the Montreal Mirror. Their scholarly work, fiction and essays appear in a variety of collections. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.” Their first book, Post-nonmonogamy and Beyond, is available from Thornapple Press and they co-authored the second edition of More Than Two. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We always love when we get to bring guests back on the show for an update and today is definitely no exception! The last time we talked to these four was back in 2019 on Episode 71 and while so much has changed, the love between these four has only grown deeper. And it sure is a good thing because they all got matching tattoos pretty early on! Over the last five years they've transitioned to a long distance relationship and then back to living in the same city, they've broken up and gotten back together, they've come out to family (sometimes accidentally), and they've navigated a global pandemic. Quad dynamics are notoriously challenging and today we get an incredibly vulnerable look at how these four have made it work and how they've all grown together, and as individuals, along the way. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest! Today's questions are all about finances and money and we have an incredible author, coach, and fellow podcaster Laura Boyle joining us! Laura just published her second book, "Monogamy? In This Economy?: Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory" and she's also the creator of readyforpolyamory.com where you can find more information about all of her fantastic work! Quick note and disclaimer... Laura, Meshai, and myself (Fin) are NOT tax or finance professionals. Please talk to a financial professional, CPA, or similar about your specific financial situation. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today we get to hear an incredible New York Love Story like no other! Bear is a Black queer man of trans experience, born, raised and currently residing in Brooklyn, NY. Fifi is a first-generation queer, non-binary Puerto Rican born, raised, and also living in New York. And together they have forged a partnership that is uniquely theirs and is mutually uplifting while defying the status quo of what everyone says a relationship "should" be. They describe themselves as solo polyamorists who live together as a family and run a business together. They met over a decade ago at a party and since then have been loving and supporting one another on their individual healing journeys of coming out and embracing their authentic selves. Bear and Fifi also do incredibly powerful work in educating and supporting others in their own journeys. The following descriptions come directly from their website and capture who they are better than we could ever imagine doing ourselves. Please check out their website for more information on how to work with these two amazing humans! Before teaching adults, Bear taught poetry to youth in NYC public schools. He began his career as a coach and case manager in 2018, and has since serviced people of all abilities, backgrounds, and circumstances. During his time in a private residential treatment facility for adults with mental diagnoses and substance abuse disorders, he practiced crisis intervention, de-escalation tactics, and harm reduction protocols. He then managed cases at Callen Lorde community health clinic and trained in public health policy, gender affirming care, and safer sex. He also distributed housing and medical resources to NYC’s most vulnerable populations. Bear co-founded Bear & Fifi Coaching in November 2021 with his partner, and became an Urban Tantra certified somatic practitioner in November 2022. He authors all Bear & Fifi Coaching theory and curriculum, including the creation of accessibility conscious tools and exercises to support emotional/nervous system regulation, non-violent communication, vulnerability + connection, and erotic embodiment. Individually, Bear works with men and masc people of all experiences, members of the TGNC community and survivors of complex relational trauma and abuse. Fifi is a trained architect, social entrepreneur, and spiritual guide. Their lens is informed by their knowledge of design systems, Tantric embodiment + Kundalini yoga, 17 years of practicing and teaching meditation, and 12 years of continuous recovery from anxiety disorders. As a certified Urban Tantra practitioner, they coach people, particularly those socialized as women, seeking better relationships, deeper intimacy, and more authenticity in their lives. Whether by creating personalized rituals or guiding you through accessing your intuition, Fifi’s goal is to support you with using sensuality as a therapeutic tool and building foundations for a life beyond what you think you deserve. Fifi is also a non-profit executive serving communities in The Bronx and Harlem through social change and leadership fellowships, art enrichment programs, and historical-multicultural performance presentations. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In her early twenties Mae repeatedly found herself in a cycle of getting into a relationship, developing feelings for someone else, fighting them off for a while and then ultimately cheating and blowing it up only to do it all over again. Then a friend invited her to a kink event which lead to her first dungeon party which changed her life forever... For about the next seven years Mae was consumed on an adventure exploring events, parties, connections, and what was possible in life, love, and pleasure. Today, Mae is exploring her own flavor of polyamory and non-monogamy. She has a primary partner along with other people that she dates plus she has some subs and perhaps even a few play partners. As Mae puts it... "If you're not having fun, you may want to question why you're doing it..." And no surprise, this interview with Mae is full of laughs and wild adventures. Mae also shares with us a bit about her powerful work and describes herself on her website better than we ever could... The Adorable Domme, Miss Mae Ling is a Los Angeles Dominatrix whose charmingly open and sweet approach to life draws out the best in others. Her motto in life is to have fun and enjoy the best of what life has to offer. She seeks to find the true person that is inside of you, cutting through all the exterior and relating with your desires and deepest emotions. The raw truth is what she is after. Check out all of her work and learn more over on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jen identifies as a queer, pansexual, non-binary, relationship anarchist and has been living with their partner for over 12 years. However, that's not how things looked 12 years ago when they got together! Jen grew up in Ireland where cultural and religious norms didn't leave much room for being different in any way. Their first exposure to something new and different came during university... However, Jen's biggest changes started when they found an amazing therapist after moving to Scotland. Therapy was a pivotal moment in Jen's life and gave them space to start deconstructing so many parts of who they are after not having a sense of self for so long. This also led to Jen questioning what they wanted relationships to look like. Jen's experience in therapy was also their inspiration for becoming a therapist themselves! Today, Jen is a person-centred experiential psychotherapist whose approach is all about offering you a radically non-judgemental relationship where you can safely get to know yourself. You can learn more about Jen's incredible work on their website! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

"It's been a beautiful journey so far... But oh so messy!" Christa Lei and their partner originally opened their relationship into a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic, even though neither of them ever acted on it. Eventually, they gave it a little more thought and made a shift to a more integrated kitchen-table poly dynamic, which is how they've now been exploring for the last few years. Christa's not here to pretend like everything is always easy and perfect. Navigating relationships can be really hard and they've found a lot of power and support in creating a care team for themself through their polyamory community. For Christa, polyamory is just as much about building community and support systems as it is about the dating and romance. Although, there's definitely some of that as well... Did they mention it can get messy? And... awesome for us, Christa sent over their own bio and so we just had to copy and paste! Woop woop! (Thanks, Christa!) Christa Lei (they/them/theirs) grew up on Native Hawaiian land as the youngest child of Filipino immigrants. Their professional experiences revolve around healthcare: patient advocacy, casework/care facilitation, and clinical research. Their intersectional identities as fat, neurodivergent, disabled, queer, polyamorous, and third-culture person inform their personal and professional work. A multi-modal and experienced creative, Christa creates and facilitates spaces for interdisciplinary praxis via community care. Along with their lived experiences as a crip queer person, they are certified as a death doula by Going with Grace. In their spare time, they dance, sing, write, travel around the world, point out all the puppies on the street, preach the gospel of Shrek, and create shared futures with their chosen family of their loving spouse and two dogs in New York City. Connect with them via Instagram (@supchrista) or at christalei.me or their newsletter isthiswhatyouwant.org. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest! Today's questions are all about compersion and we have one of the world's leading experts on the subject joining us! Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach as well as the author of the new book "What is compersion?" You can learn more about Marie and her work at www.whatiscompersion.com. You can also save 25% if you order your copy of her book using the link and code below! "What is Compersion?" (Use code RLFANDF25 to save 25%) If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today's interview with Flora and Andy is so full of love and zest for life! The last seven years have been full of adventure for these two... They met on Grinder in 2017, got married a few years later, and then a few years ago decided to open their relationship up after a series of infidelities. Today they practice their own form of non-hierarchical polyamory after trying out different flavors of non-monogamy along the way. They take us inside their partnership and share how they rebuilt everything in spite of the infidelities and all of the self-discovery and growth that they both did to get to where they are today. Flora and Andy also share with us how they've persevered and supported one another as a multicultural trans and non-binary queer couple exploring the world of sex, dating, relationships, and life. When they're not sharing their life story on our podcast, you can find Flora and Andy on Instagram where they do powerful work helping organizations and companies be more inclusive to queer communities. Please check out their work and enjoy this interview with Flora and Andy! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

From a very young age Sandy had lots of crushes, loved kissing boys, and felt very free. Unfortunately, she learned very quickly how judgmental people are when she started getting called names at school and the shame started to creep in. She learned to hide parts of herself in order to fit in during high school but then in college she learned that "being queer" was actually a thing. Sandy is an incredible storyteller and today's interview is full of love, laughter, and deep emotion. Sandy takes us on her powerful journey of discovering who she is and how to truly be herself while constantly fighting the shame from friends, family, and the world around her. Today, she describes herself as a queer solo polyamorous woman who is a queen bee with lots of little honey bees buzzing around her. She weaves so many fantastic lessons, tools, tricks, and strategies into her amazing story of life and adventure! Enjoy! Dr. Sandy Peace is a psychologist, sex therapist, trained sex educator, provides trainings for mental health professionals on working with polyamorous clients, and facilitates polyamory support/discussion groups. She presented her doctoral dissertation research – "Toward a Model of Polyamorous Identity Development" – at the first International Academic Polyamory Conference at U.C. Berkeley in 2012. To learn more about Sandy and to work with her, please check out her website! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop! Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Billy is a bit of a self-described hopeless romantic with a romanticized view of love and relationships. He tried out monogamy for about 14 months as a freshman in college, however, having lots of sex and sexual adventures was never really his goal (not that he's complaining). He would often find himself falling for women and when he'd share his feelings they'd express their interest in continuing to hookup, but not so much with the emotional stuff. We have some amazing conversations in this interview with Billy. He digs into how he cultivated an abundance mindset around sex, even though everyone in high school predicted he'd be a 40-year old virgin. We also talk about not getting boxed in by labels and identities, and we have a great conversation about all of the societal messaging we get about how to be a "good partner." Taken right from Billy's website... In 2014, comedian Billy Procida started interviewing his exes about sex, dating, gender…and why they didn’t work out. After being dismissed in his early 20s as a “manwhore”, he worried if he was already too slutty to love at 24-years-old. So he sought out answers from the source! Now, Billy hosts sex-positive conversations with comedians, sex educators, porn stars, actors, authors, dating experts, models and more! With millions of downloads, The Manwhore Podcast has been named a top sex/dating podcast by Esquire, Uproxx, and Men’s Health. Please head over to www.manwhorepod.com to check out all of Billy's work! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop! Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Our conversation today with Kathy is so beautiful, full of energy, and powerful. She is a vibrant 49 year old bisexual proud mother of a newly minted teen and she has been "officially" exploring non-monogamy for the last few years. Yet, as you'll hear, Kathy has always been a bit rebellious and unconventional. She loves to play and experiment, and she lives life very intentionally. Kathy is currently going through a "slow divorce" over the course of multiple years as she and her husband work together with a therapist to simultaneously heal and transition their partnership. During this process, their therapist has helped them both seek out what living authentically would look like... For Kathy, that meant finally exploring non-monogamy. She's always had a desire and preference for non-monogamy but put that desire aside to start a family under the assumption that it would happen sometime in the future. And now, the future is here and she's loving it! As unconventional and rebellious as Kathy is, she's had to heal many parts of herself along her journey. It hasn't been easy, and she takes us through her powerful and inspiring life story with such levity and vulnerability. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop! Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about exploring swinging while also in a quad and whether or not size matters and impacts men's ability to find success in the lifestyle. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Michael and his wife have been exploring non-monogamy since just before they got married about seven years ago. The conversation initially came up after an infidelity which set them on a path of healing, rebuilding, and ultimately exploration. This week’s interview is a little different than our normal interviews as it focuses a bit less on Michael’s personal journey while we dig into how Michael and his wife used their early experiences in exploring the play party scene in LA to craft an interactive play party experience of their own that blends performance art into a sensually curated environment to create deeper connection. Michael is the founder and creative director of The Play in Los Angeles. Definitely check out the amazing work he is doing to take the play party experience to the next level! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop! Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Taylor and Kuran have been together since 2017 and have an incredibly unique and beautiful relationship dynamic. We talk with lots of people in mono/poly dynamics, where one person is monogamous and the other is polyamorous... However, it's rare to find a monogamous person in this type of relationship that's as enthusiastically supportive, excited, and full of compersion as Kuran is for Taylor! He initially brought up the idea of opening their partnership in 2021 as a way to explore his interest in hotwifing. However, Taylor quickly learned that she desires deeper connections. Over the last few years they've been on a journey together creating something that seems to defy nearly every single relationship norm and expectation imaginable. Taylor and Kuran share how their dynamic injects a spark of electricity into their partnership and how they fully support each other in being whole humans as they raise their four kids (all under the age of six!). We absolutely love this conversation and their enthusiasm and excitement for the life they've built! Check out the full show notes here. Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop! Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Aria is a bisexual, demisexual, sapiosexual, polyamorous, queer woman who's been exploring non-monogamy for over a decade. During our conversation she takes us through her beautiful story and how she's come to discover all of these amazing parts of herself along her journey. Her flavor of non-monogamy has gone through many iterations over the years and she shares many of the lessons and tools she's learned along the way. Aria is also a trauma-informed relationship coach and somatic facilitator, helping people practicing non-monogamy deepen self awareness, overcome insecurities and enhance communication skills to create more liberated relationships that feel expansive and nourishing. You can learn more about her work over at ariadiana.com. Check out the full show notes here. Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024 Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Ally has been exploring non-monogamy for about the past eight years but her fascination with relationships and human connection started quite early in life. As she explains it, she never really had the "cooties phase" growing up. Yet, like many of us, she learned to hide her sexuality early on, as well. Up until 2016 Ally's primary relationship style was serial monogamy. This ultimately led her to have a conversation with a partner about opening their relationship. They came up with some agreements and when she had her first experience it turned out to be a test from him and ended the relationship. However, Ally learned a lot about herself through the experience which eventually led her into the sex and play party scene where her whole world opened up. This interview with Ally is full of beautiful stories, experiences, and life lessons. We have incredible conversations about compersion, chemistry, compatibility, and... How chemistry and compatibility are very different from one another. Ally Iseman is the Founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, through which she offers concierge guidance and online courses and resources for couples and individuals exploring healthy non-monogamy and alternative relationship dynamics. She has been a speaker, community organizer, and non-monogamy educator and practitioner since 2016, committed to promoting consensual, empowered, and respectful interactions as a leader within the sex-positive space. As a certified consent and communication specialist and respected non-monogamy ‘sexpert’, Ally sits on the executive leadership board of one of LA’s most distinguished sex-positive nightlife events. She regularly shares her insights on podcasts and at live events, and has been quoted in numerous consumer and industry-facing publications, further solidifying her reputation as a knowledgeable and influential voice on the subject of non-monogamy and alternative relationship dynamics. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Mrs. N and Mr. N have been together nearly twenty years and started fantasizing together early on in their partnership. Their rich fantasy life together eventually turned into a reality a few years into their relationship. Things moved very slowly for years and eventually they found their sweet spot exploring swinging and hotwifing, or as they like to call it... "The Naughty Hobby" Their journeys in non-monogamy have been powerful in many ways for both of them. Before meeting one another, Mrs. N suffered with extreme pain during sex for many years and it created an immense amount of shame in her around sex and intimacy. The openness and communication they've fostered has helped them both heal physically and emotionally as they've grown closer together while adventuring together! These two have also been busy helping others... They host a podcast and have written a book both under the name Vanilla to Vixen where they take listeners behind the scenes of their healing journey together. Definitely check out their podcast and pick up a copy of their book! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about tips and strategies for navigating drop AND embracing mismatched libidos in a triad. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Like many of us, Brett started initially exploring non-monogamy before he had the language to describe it or a framework to understand it. Initially, he was in a long-distance relationship that had an agreement around being open. He eventually moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where his relational world opened up even further. Upon arriving in The Bay, Brett found himself living with a polyamorous couple, exploring the the vibrant play party scene, and getting involved with various Burning Man communities. All of these experiences helped open Brett up to a world of diverse relationship models that he continues to explore as he strives to hone a never-ending list of relational skills. In 2022 Brett founded the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN). OPEN is a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals, relationships, and communities. More than that, they’re a movement of people working toward a future where romantic and intimate relationships between consenting adults are accepted and protected regardless of relationship structure, gender identity, or sexual orientation. Please check out the incredible work they're doing and find out how you can impact change as well! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jessica is in her mid-thirties and has been practicing non-monogamy for over 11 years. From a very young age she decided she didn't want to follow the traditional relationship scripts and norms that most people do. When she started dating in college, she was very intentional about moving into non-monogamy with her partner from the very beginning of their relationship. Even though they were very intentional about what they were doing and how they were relating, they didn't have the words or language to describe it. In the beginning, they were pretty much making it up as they went. Jessica and her partner started off dating together and eventually learned about many different ways of being open. This led her to discover relationship anarchy and the relationship anarchy smorgasbord. Today, Jessica is open to the ebb and flow of life and relationships. She focuses a lot of her social energy on fostering deep friendships and community as she lets relationships take the form that makes the most sense for each one. Jessica's passion for community and helping others is inspirational and goes beyond her personal life. She also volunteers on the board for a Seattle-based non-profit called Evergreen Hearts. Their mission is to empower people who practice non-traditional relationship styles to build community and grow relationship skills through social functions, educational events, and educational resources. We encourage you to check out the incredible work they're doing to build and support community. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Abbey and Liam have been together for over 12 years and in an open relationship for about 10 of them. They initially started by exploring the idea as a fantasy through talking and sharing sexy stories back and forth on a private Tumblr page. Eventually, the fantasy turned into "Hey... Ya know, we could actually do this." which inspired them to begin exploring the New York City swinging world as they slowly opened their relationship. Today, their flavor of non-monogamy is a fluid negotiation between the two of them depending on what life looks like and what they're both wanting and needing. In today's beautiful interview they share about the power of forming deep friendships and community, how coming out changed their lives and allowed them to be honest about who they are, and how they thrive at being loving parents to their kiddo while navigating multiple relationships! If you can't get enough of Abbey and Liam, you're in luck! For the last few years they've been creating a powerful resource called the Evolving Love Project where they explore the topics of authentic and open relationships, sex positivity, parenting and empowered birth through a podcast, events, retreats, writing, and community! Definitely check it out! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Daniel feels he was born polyamorous but it took him until about eight years ago to stop conforming to monogamy. He was in a monogamous partnership for about 18 years which transitioned into a beautiful friendship that has lasted until today, instead of just blowing up in a spiteful mess. This was his catalyst to exploring different ways of relating and ultimately polyamory. At the core of Daniel's story is an incredibly beautiful journey of self-discovery, personal exploration and growth. This is a powerful and vulnerable interview and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about how to persevere when it feels like it's been hard for a while AND what information is ours to share about our partners and how do we do it in a way that feels good for them. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Megan and Brett have been together for over 18 years and have been married for over 13. The idea of non-monogamy marinated in the background of their relationship for many years before they sort of both leaned into it around the same time a few years ago. They opened their relationship in a slow and calculated way and now find themselves in the beautiful grey area where they're a little too swingery for the polyamorous people, a little too polyamorous for the swinging community, a bit too kinky to consider themselves vanilla, and a bit too vanilla to call themselves kinky! Today, they take us on their beautiful journey of growing together though both the great times and the more challenging ones. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Kat is a polyamorous queer woman in her mid-thirties who has been pushing against the status quo her whole life as she strives to be her authentic self and live a life full of joy. Kat grew up in the Baptist Church and had even taken a vow of chastity when she was 14. Also, things aren't quite that straightforward... Her first make-out session was with a group of friends before they all went to the movies in high school, she came out to her mom as bisexual when she was 16, and her first time having sex was in a threesome while living in Europe. So, perhaps the norms aren't a good fit for everyone? Kat has truly lived a life of adventure. She's lived all over the world and explored a wide range of relationship styles from monogamy to various forms of non-monogamy and kink. Kat is also an LGBTQIA+, kink, and non-monogamy-affirmative therapist who provides online therapy for adults, romantic partners, and chosen family. She specializes in empowering people to work through shame, anxiety, depression, ADHD, coming out, and relational issues. You can learn more about Kat and how to work with her by clicking here! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Mara and Mike have been together for almost 25 years and married for almost 20 of them... They've also been in some form of an open relationship pretty much the entire time. Lucky for us, they've organized their relationship into six phases! They walk us through each phase as they share all of the different ways they've related to one another and with themselves. We cover everything from their early days of swinging, the challenging duality of being a professional and a parent while also being adventurous and slutty, processing shame, and adapting their relationship and communication styles to better fit who they are as a team, and as individuals. We're excited to share this beautiful journey with you and we hope you enjoy it! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We are so excited to have Dr. Evelin Dacker back after more than four years... And this time, she's here to tell her incredibly powerful personal story! Dr. Dacker takes us on her journey of self-discovery over the course of more than three decades of being in relationships. She remembers having compersion from a very young age, even if she didn't have the words for it, and she's always felt like she was non-monogamous. Yet, like many, she got swept off her feet and into a 20-year detour of monogamy. Then, in her mid-forties, she joined a roller derby team and made a very intentional decision to shift her life and relationship in an effort to not completely lose her sexuality... From her website www.evelindacker.com : I am a Mexican-American, bicultural, bilingual, trauma-informed, Integrative Family Physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. My unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness. In addition to practicing medicine, I specialize in teaching a sex positive approach to sexually transmitted disease, am the creator of the STARS Talk framework for intimacy communication, and work toward incorporating sexuality into primary care through educating health care providers on sex-positivity. In addition, I hold workshops on consent and sexual communication geared toward young adults to help reduce sexual assault on college campuses. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Romi has always been an insatiably curious person who questions the status quo. This combination has led him to a life full of incredible adventures and human connection. Romi describes the first decade of his marriage as "monogamous, yet adventurous..." and he takes us along for the ride as he tells his powerful story of self-discovery. Today, he's a father with multiple deep partnerships and is in a polyamorous marriage. Not only does Romi live a life of adventure for himself, he's also dedicated his career to helping provide spaces for people to explore who they are. This led to the creation of SoulPlay! SoulPlay aspires to create a world where every individual is celebrated. Where unique desires and needs are acceptable. Where people can be free to be themselves, express themselves, and interact in a way that feels nourishing to them without fear of judgement or shame. SoulPlay 2024 is June 6-16 and you can learn more and get your tickets at www.soulplay.co. See you there!! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about balancing breaking up with one partner while being madly in love with another AND what things should be considered when deciding whether or not to be more "out" about being non-monogamous. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jules has explored a variety of relationship styles in her life and her preference would be to be non-monogamous. Yet, she has very intentionally chosen a monogamous life and partnership with her husband. We have an incredibly powerful conversation about the unavoidable grief that comes with nearly every choice we make in life. Jules also weaves her story with so many amazing communication and relationship tools. Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP, is a therapist, author, and teacher who is creating spaces where people can move into more self-compassion, self-trust, empowerment, and integrity. She regularly teaches and speaks to people from all around the world and translates new understandings in neurobiology into practices that can support brain change. She came into the therapy world as a client who argued that feelings didn’t matter only to find herself all these years later having followed neuroscience to the obvious conclusion: we are really feeling and meaning making beings driven by our interdependence. She believes that embracing that reality is key to finding purpose and deep joy. She is the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected and Empowered. She is an associate Instructor with the Coherence Institute and a core faculty member with Therapy Wisdom. She lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Adam, their daughter, Stella, and their rescue pointer mix, Layla. When she isn’t thinking about therapy or reading the latest neurobiology research, she can be found watching the British Baking Show while creating art shoes for her dear friends. Find all of Jules' work, books, and podcast on her website www.julianetaylorshore.com. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Nikita grew up in India and came to the US about seven years ago when she was 19. As she began to embrace her queerness she started learning about new relationship structures and ultimately found non-monogamy through the kink scene in New York City. For the past few years she has been exploring solo polyamory and shares with us her beautiful, powerful, and challenging journey. For her, being non-monogamous is part of her identity and she sees it as an extension of her queerness. Nikita is also a community organizer, psychotherapist, and sex therapist based in NYC. Her website does a much better job of capturing the power of her work and who she is than we ever could. Please check out her bio below and visit her website for all of her incredible work. From Nikita's Website: I am a Mental Health Therapist-LP and Sex Therapist based in New York City. I graduated with my Master’s in Counseling in Mental Health and Wellness and a dual degree in LGBT Health, Education, and Social Services from New York University. I also hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology with a background in Women and Gender Studies from George Mason University. I identify as a queer South Asian immigrant woman. I’m also neurodivergent and non-monogamous. Aside from being a therapist, I have volunteered as a crisis counselor for the Trevor Project, worked as a graduate assistant for the New York University LGBTQ+ Center, and helped in the planning of social justice conferences. I have worked towards being a therapist for many years now and it is my greatest honor to arrive where I am. I grew up in Bangalore, a city in India where access to mental healthcare was limited and heavily stigmatized. We didn’t really talk about sex at all and the patriarchal culture often made it unsafe to embody our sexual selves. During my young adult years in Bangalore, I struggled to find a counselor who had a background in LGBTQ issues. The counselor that I talked to put me in a one size fits all box, bound by a traditional conception of heteronormative binary identities. The services I received seemed ingenuine and I felt alone. The counselor failed to understand the challenges that are faced by a queer woman in a conservative country. At that moment, a strong desire to uplift people who feel confused and alone was born. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jill and Jack are back and this conversation is so powerful! This interview stands on its own. You do not need to have listened to their first episode to get a ton out of this conversation. Their initial interview on Episode 97 was less than a year into their non-monogamous adventure together. They have spent the last four years doing absolutely mind-blowing work on themselves and their partnership. Today, they share how they have arrived in the best place they've ever been. Spoiler alert: It was a LOT of hard work! Jill and Jack have been married for over 22 years and open for about the last five. They come from a deeply religious background and are former Mennonites who made a pitstop as Baptists on their way out of organized religion about a decade ago. Their initial entry into non-monogamy came during the aftermath of Jack getting happy-ending massages while he was still a Deacon in the Baptist church. They go into much more detail, but the very short version is that Jill was like "Okay... No more lying. We're a team. And by the way, I want to know if other guys want me as well!" Today we get behind the scenes on how they worked together to improve their communication, came through another infidelity, overcame decades of resentment, smoothed out their gas and brake pattern, and are finding ways to be in the moment and enjoy life together. Seriously, don't skip it. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today (February 28) is Metamour Day and we're so excited to be celebrating with Anna! While Metamour relationships are definitely a vibrant theme in this interview, we also dig into so much more! Anna is an incredible artist, writer, counselor, and storyteller who is filled with deep love, compassion, and joy... They bring all of this and more to our conversation in a beautifully vulnerable and gentle way. This isn't an episode to be skipping. Anna learned about non-monogamy during graduate school after having their heart completely shattered. They had very little sexual and dating experience and embarked on a powerful journey of self-discovery that continues today. Currently, Anna has been partnered with William for nearly 20 years, partnered with Joe for over a decade, and is exploring connecting with others in ways that honor each individual relationship. You can find Anna’s art on PositivelyPolyAnna.com, their counseling work at livelikelove.net, learn more about Metamour Day at MetamourDay.com, and support Anna’s work through their Patreon. AND! Don't forget to get your Metamour Day Postcards here and save 20% with the code "NNM"! Check out the full show notes here. Get your Metamour Day postcards here! Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about advice for a couple who is new to non-monogamy and they're in a mono/poly dynamic AND how do we meet our partners desires without giving up who we are if the two are not fully aligned. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Kim is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience helping clients work through difficulties with relationships and break-downs in communication, including issues of trust and infidelity. Along with her husband, she is also a swinger, a secret unknown to even her children or closest friends. Kim and her husband have been married for over 25 years and intentionally exploring non-monogamy and swinging for about the past eight. Their adventure started as bedroom talk and exploring through fantasy... Then, roughly 20 years ago they were on vacation and told their taxi driver they were looking for some adventure and he dropped them off at a sex club! Surprise! Their experience at the club carried them forward in and out of the world of swinging and non-monogamy for over a decade before eventually digging into the tools they needed to find a path that works for them. Throughout their journey they have been continually figuring out how to balance their own individual needs with the needs and agreements of their partnership. In a world where everything and everyone is continually evolving, they've learned the critical importance of having hard conversations and not shifting into autopilot. There's so much to Kim's incredible story! Unfortunately we couldn't pack it all into this interview... Luckily for you, Kim wrote a memoir called The Swinger in the Mirror! We highly recommend you check it out. Her story is full of incredible experiences and invaluable lessons. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Dedeker is back after more than four years and an entire pandemic! As always, there's so much to get out of this beautiful conversation without listening to round one first (Episode 104). Dedeker digs into the transitions and shifts in her own relational journey, including a moment of monogamy and the journey she's been on rekindling a partnership from over a decade ago. One of the things we love about talking with Dedeker about is how seamlessly she weaves humor and wisdom together into powerful and relatable lessons for all of us. Don't skip this one or you'll miss out on all of that plus one of the greatest confessionals we've ever had on the show! Dedeker is one of the co-hosts of the Multiamory podcast, a relationship coach, writer, and advocate for polyamory and non-traditional relationships. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love and the co-author of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships. Learn more about all her work at www.dedekerwinston.com. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Check out our weekly peer support groups! Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing