No Bad Ideas

More mayhem, more ideas, more Crowley! We’re delighted to have the inimitable Tom Crowley back for one more ride in the Bad Ideas-mobile. And the idea is Mr. Crowley’s! Tom lets us in on a secret source of revenue that a German circus has been taking advantage of during the pandemic, and we turn it into a rags to riches to bars fable of ambition… and animal poo. We also settle down and talk to Tom about his sketch comedy work - how he comes up with ideas, how he structures episodes of his show Crowley Time, and his grand theory of joke types. Plus: The re-skinned Burt’s Bees origin story, embarrassing censored movie posters, hilarious wacky mix-ups, Gabriel’s secret weakness, and a surprising emerging market. Today’s Bad Idea™: Idea #1 For more of Tom's work, follow him on Twitter, and check out Wooden Overcoats, Victoriocity, and his website, where you'll also find Crowley Time (With Him, Tom Crowley). Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Stolen Cars! Unconscionable Emails! Misinformation! And special guest stars Amanda McLoughlin and Julia Schifini, co-hosts of the Spirits Podcast! We are joined by Julia and Amanda of Spirits, Multitude, and all-around badass podcasting fame. And boy do we need their help to tackle two exceptionally terrible ideas. First, Gabriel brings us the story of a (Florida) man who steals a series of vehicles with increasingly erratic and destructive results. The team turns it into the saga of a man who finds himself repeatedly possessed by a mischievous spirit every time the sun goes down. Then, Zach brings us a report about an entirely made-up, trumped-up claim about litter boxes for Furries in all-gender bathrooms. The squad remakes it into the story of a group of high school friends who create a secret, vandalizing teenage superhero to fight back against the discriminatory policies that have swept into their world. All of that, plus: cryptography, Joe Pesci, Robert the Doll, high speed swamp boat chases, and things that shouldn't be interrogated too much. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Follow Julia and Amanda's work by checking out Spirits, Join the Party, and the rest of their work through Multitude. Or follow them on Twitter at @shessomickey and @JuliaSchifini. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today is a big day on supersized No Bad Ideas. We have not one, not two, but THREE special guests joining us in the Bad Ideas Thunderdome. Beth Eyre, Felix Trench, and Tom Crowley, three of the amazing stars of Wooden Overcoats, join to lend their brilliance to a pair of truly odd and awful ideas. First, Gabriel brings us the tale of a woman who tried to buy a baby, and somehow we blow it up and shrink it down into a gentle indie stop-motion comedy full of heists and very organized babies. Then Sarah tells us about a man who stole a lot of manuscripts but didn’t do anything with them, and we transform it into a layered revenge plot that begins with identity fraud and ends with the worst writers’ retreat of all time. Finally, we ask Beth, Felix, and Tom about their work on Wooden Overcoats. They share some of their thoughts on this fourth and last season of the show, Piffling being a place that time forgot, their routes into the characters, the recording process and the show’s place in the tradition of British radio comedy, and the challenges (and fun) of performing the show live. Plus: Build-A-Bear Texas, semi-collapsed societies, Steven King’s sawed-off shotgun, World War B, and a pre-emptive apology to Guernsey. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 To check out Wooden Overcoats, find them in your podcatcher, check out their website, Instagram, and Twitter, and check out the live-streamed performances of Season 4 at Kings Place’s K Player. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... passports! Courts! Fraud! Deception! Ana de Armas! In our first bad idea, Zach brings us the story of a man who bought a passport holder and found himself getting a bonus illegal item in the deal. The gang brings in Sgt. Offerman to investigate an evil scheme being carried out through Etsy. Then, Sarah offers up a frivolous lawsuit brought forth by fans of a world-famous actress. The squad uses it as a springboard to create a television show about a desperate, seedy lawyer for whom no case is too frivolous. All of that, plus: the crud de la crud, timeline questions, irredeemably broken people, Disney princesses, and fake commercials. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Fire! Gangs! Drugs! Lies! And more! On today's first idea, Sarah brings us a hall-of-famer about an enormous Christmas goat that gets burnt every year in Sweden. The gang - once they stop cackling with glee - come up with a Love-Actually-like kaleidoscopic story about a merry gang battle royale. Then, Gabriel presents the story of a man who tries to talk his way out of a drug bust... very unsuccessfully. The team makes it into a movie about a man who finds the world believing each and every one of his lies. All of that, plus: the right honorable man from Florida, suck-friendly shows, outstanding sound bites, classless twats, and Christmas magic. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Florida Men! Underwear! The robot revolution! And the gang recording together for the first time since the start of the pandemic! First, Gabriel brings us the story of a man who tried to wear a piece of women's underwear as a mask... while going on a commercial flight. The gang tries to turn it into a film about an alien who arrives on Earth in the middle of the pandemic, and has to figure out how to navigate this strange new world. Then, Zach brings us the story of an Alexa advising a small girl to do something very dangerous. The gang tries to find a new angle on a Robot Revolt story and on a super-being that has the information superhighway in their head. All of that, plus: fucking up everybody's day, the mayor of Orlando, machines gone wild, The Matrix but more punk, and beavers. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back! Sarah kicks us off with a Belgian church in a bind, and we turn it into a sensational scandal that might be the miracle that bring the flock back. Then Zach introduces us to the Squirrel Board and we take the concept of keeping squirrels as pets and turn it into a heartwarming tale of an unusual friendship between man and monster. Plus: Benedetta’s viral marketing campaign, an animal arms race, lovely British sitcoms, metaphors for community, and several hot priests. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the first No Bad Ideas for 2022! Today on the show, we bring you: fake IDs, tattoos that determine your life, accidental hacking, and crime cell phones! In our first bad idea, Gabriel presents the tale of a man so desperate for a vaccine card - but so unwilling to get a real vaccine - that he tries to use a fake arm to bluff his way through the vaccination. The gang turns it into a cyberpunk adventure about escaping your government-assigned role. Then, Sarah brings us the story of how an unlucky man accidentally hacked a Latin American organized crime ring. The squad transforms it into a breakneck adventure starring a mild-mannered man man who finds his life turned upside down when a notorious assassin sets out to steal his identity. All of that, plus: cartoons come to life, microchips, extended Some Like It Hot riffs, digital footprints, and nuevo telefono, quien es? Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our last episode of 2021, we tackle a couple very normal and relatable problems. First, Gabriel brings us the tale of a Don Draper stan in all the wrong ways and we turn it into the cutthroat tale of a kid who takes a cynical scam much too far. Then Zach tells us a chilling story of a forgotten VHS tape that resulted in a felony charge, and we turn it into an origin story for the spy drama of the century and a great opportunity, we think, for Vanessa Hudgens. Plus: Savvy 16 year-olds, the cyber mob, new uses for Christmas trees, a North By Northwest situation, and Finance Bros, Inc. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... Airplane crashes! Movie diaries! Darkwing Duck as a person! Cocaine hippos! And more! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of the airplane pilot who meticulously documents every single one of his crashes... just in case someone wants to turn his life into a movie. The gang tries to turn it into a movie about a foolish man chasing the wrong kinds of glory. Then, Zach brings us the news that Colombian hippos have officially been declared legal humans. The squad tries to spin that into an animated story about some displaced animals trying to find out what happened to their master. All of that, plus: incredibly dangerous animals, buffoonery, one-page RPGs, people who definitely do not deserve justice, and last minute pivots. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... Slapping! Hangovers! Sympathy magic! Operant conditioning! And more! In today's first idea, Gabriel brings us the story of a man who was so addicted to Facebook that he had to hire someone to slap him every time he goes to the website. The team turns it into the story of a wealthy businessman who has to resort to extreme measures to keep himself productive and civil. Then, Sarah presents the story of a hangover-prevention item from ancient times. The squad works to turn it into the story of two archeologists who find their lives intertwined in some surprising (and very literal) ways. All of that, plus: vanilla millionaires, getting into coding at the exact right moment, fake dating as a productivity hack, a classist ring system, and adding a third genre for no reason. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A trip back into the Bad Ideas Vault this week, as Sarah brings us a tale from the exotic world of art thievery, where everyone is super cool and sophisticated… everyone, that is, except for the thieves. What will Gabriel and Zach make of an entire town in on a police sting operation? And how many explosions will it involve? There are definitely more twists than you think. Plus, roles definitely played by Jason Statham, agents of chaos in the background, a fistful of art historians, and revolutions which will not be monetized. Today’s Bad Idea™: https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-europe-47568323 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... Rumbles! Investigative reporters! Therapy lions! Community-building! And more! After a slight breakdown in our production assembly line, we are back with the first of two new episodes this week! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of a bus that is designed to put its riders to sleep. Wacky hijinks ensue when the sleepy passengers awake to find themselves in the middle of a high-stakes movie they don't know they're in. Then, Gabriel brings the squad the story of three Spanish writers who pseudonymously created a successful female writer. The gang turns it into the story of three disgruntled film industry professionals who create a fake writer to make their dreams come true... and then have it completely spiral out of control. All of that, plus: eccentric demands, ways to artificially raise the stakes, you'll-never-work-in-this-town-again moments, new forms of identity theft, and things that feel like punching down. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our apologies for the delay this week, but sometimes ideas just are so bad that it takes a little extra time to put them together. These may be the worst things we've ever pitched. First, Gabriel brings us a story from the Internet’s homeland for bad ideas, Reddit’s Am I The Asshole?, and we turn the tale of a critical boyfriend into a contained family drama even Edward Albee would fear. Then, Zach tells us about a new initiative by Austrian museums and we, somewhat against our will, turn it into the Dan Brown sequel that no one has asked for. Plus: 3/10 handshakes, learning nothing from Tumblr, succumbing to the golden touch, an episode of Black Mirror as a person, and boundaries that could have been set earlier. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Robots! Courtroom Dramas! Fake Marriages! Elaborate Hoaxes! And more! For our first bad idea, Sarah brings us a marriage made in hell: robot dogs and guns. The gang does their best to contain their terror and revulsion long enough to put together the pitch for a prescient court room drama. Then, Zach brings us the story of a man who is having his friendship with a single co-worker mercilessly exploited. The team does their best to turn it into a charming romcom of deception and secrecy. All of that, plus: successful yuppie vibes, jolts of caffeine, out of control marketing budgets, after-the-fact-movies, and marriage swaps. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel, Zach, and Sarah are taking a quick autumn break this week, but we didn't want to leave you without any No Bad Ideas this week! So check out this old favorite from our archives, featuring our friend Mark Pagán, producer of the podcast Other Men Need Help! We certainly could use a hand, as Gabriel issues us an idea about a very unconventional way to settle disputes, which leads to a mockumentary of a divorce for the (middle) ages. Then, Sarah shows us a question about one man's quest for a licensing deal that is so strange, we immediately cast Christian Bale. Plus: 12 Techniques To Win Your Custody Battle In Three Moves Or Less, things that are Game of Thrones' fault, Paul Giamatti’s first Oscar, and the secret ingredient: friendship. Today’s Bad Ideas: Idea #1 Idea #2 If you want to follow Mark and his work, you can check out his site at http://www.markpagan.com/ or follow him on Twitter, as well as Other Men Need Help on their site or on Instagram. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach is off this week, but we’re delighted to welcome a long time friend of the show for some mayhem at NBI HQ: we're lucky to have author extraordinaire Zoe Tokushige in the Bad Ideas Hot Seat! Things get heated with Gabriel’s first idea about a photographer who has a terrible time at a friend's wedding, which we turn into a Fellini movie from hell, with a weird ending that even European arthouses would be proud of. Then Sarah brings us a story of high-stakes, deeply weird negotiations between the Russian space authority and a Kazakh businessman, which we turn into the lowest-stakes treasure hunt we possibly can. Then we talk to Zoe about her writing process, finding characters on the page, and the different between writing and other forms of creativity. Plus: Ships passing in the night, one star Yelp reviews, real-time descents, brief shining moments of potential, and Werner Herzog watching Cats. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 If you’d like to check out more of Zoe’s work and get information on her upcoming novel, The Prankmaster General: New School Skirmish, you can find more on her website and follow her on Twitter. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have cracked the code on badness this week and/or we’ve just cracked. First, Zach brings us a tale of woe from the world of cryptocurrencies and we turn it into a tale taking place during the actual age of piracy, because that’s somehow more grounded. Then Gabriel tells us about a business marketing strategy gone horribly wrong, and we craft a story about a man who's a little too weird to work but really vibes with his CEO. Plus: ironic hipsters, unnecessarily intense actors, the nuclear option, bargain deals that won’t bargain themselves, and only breaking the stupid laws. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today in No Bad Ideas: detached human brains! Frankenstein technology! Lotteries! Drug kingpins secretly living in your home! In our first bad idea, Sarah presents the tale of a divorce that led to a heist of cryogenically frozen bodies... and then things started getting weird! The gang does their best to turn it into a thrilling heist story in a world where the über-rich guard their minds as closely as their bank vaults. Then, Gabriel brings us the tale of a government so desperate to get rid of the house formerly owned by a drug lord they are giving it away in a lottery. The squad turns it into a Fight Club-esque tale of the mild-mannered man who is led to the dark side by the criminal mastermind he finds living in his basement. All of that, plus: remote customer service, newfound confidence, common incessant thoughts, chess games of the mind, and lots and lots of 'tude. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... Imprisonment! Dystopias! Literature! Very intense judges! And more! In our first bad idea, Zach presents the horrific news story of an alternative to prison that may end up being even worse (and more exploitative) than jail-time. The gang tries to turn it into the story of an exploiter who is hoisted by his own exploitative petard. Then, Sarah brings us the story of a young ne'er-do-well who a judge attempts to rehabilitate by subjecting him to the greatest works of Western literature. The squad considers different ways to tell stories of enforced art-consumption making people better. All of that, plus: vandals with too much destructive energy, things that are entirely made up, empathy training programs, Dickensian poorhouses, super downers, and old, explosive fertilizer. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back at full strength this week, just in time for a pair of ideas that really go all the way. First, Gabriel brings us a nugget from the proverbial well of online bad ideas, and by “well” we mean the "Am I The Asshole?" subreddit. We take a prank gone wrong and turn it into the world's latest trend/cult/international conspiracy. Then Zach invites us to The Garden, and we take the story of a utopian community who took to the Internet and turn it into a thriller set in the near-future that involves a company definitely not named Schmoogle. Plus: playing ‘Carrot in the Wind’, an Iceland/Greenland situation, a button that can be smashed in a heroic fashion, irony being dead, and going viral for all the wrong reasons. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: ketchup! Chefs! Football! Side gigs! Moral victories! In today's first bad idea, Gabriel presents an "Am I the Asshole?" spiritual successor to one of our favorite past episodes: the story of a man who will stop at nothing to sell his own particular brand of ketchup. The gang turns the ridiculousness up and concocts a story of culinary revenge. Then, Sarah brings us the story of a high school that plays football against Division 1 athletes... even thought it has no earthly business doing that. The team turns the ridiculousness down and turns it into a TV series about a cynical coach finding the worst football team ever and seeing if they can surprise everyone and go the distance. All of that, plus: dart boards, theoretical universes, secret ingredients, weird new wrinkles on old forumlas, and Zoltar. Today’s Bad Ideas: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we have a couple super cute/disturbing ideas ready-made for your next Netflix comedy/rom-com evening. First, Sarah brings us the story of just how many ancient artifacts might be in the US illegally (but conveniently all in one place) and we take it to a world where demons and devils have real power, and it’s up to a band of rag-tag experts to track them down. Then Gabriel brings us one of the most harrowing stunts ever attempted in the name of love, and we fictionalize it just enough to fit in the age of Instagram. Plus: Five (5) horsemen, D-list celebs, fuddy-duddy antiquities professors, 40 lbs. of weed and exposure therapy (baby). Today’s Bad Ideas: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas, a special episode from our vault of past episodes, featuring the amazing Lindz Amer and a lot of lions! This week, we’re joined in the studio by Lindz Amer of Queer Kids Stuff for two bad ideas and a roundtable discussion. First, we bring a Scooby-Doo-style ghost hunting gang into the YouTube Era and they form an unlikely alliance with an eccentric horror writer fighting off the bank from foreclosing his historically haunted mansion. Next, faced with an animal rights nightmare from the 1930s, we avoid “Green-Booking” the situation with Hugh Jackman and look for a more nuanced way to approach people with lions in motorcycles racing on walls in the circus with a non-zero amount of mauling. Finally, we chat with Lindz about finding universality as storytellers and get a sneak peek into their new fiction storytelling projects. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Today's Idea Worth Sharing By Lindz (AKA Their TED Talk): https://www.ted.com/talks/lindsay_amer_why_kids_need_to_learn_about_gender_and_sexuality?language=en Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Pranks! Ex-boyfriends! Roars! Internet links! Spies! And more! In our first bad idea, Gabriel presents the story of a miscreant who decides to prank his ex-girlfriend by staging a contest looking for the best Chewbacca imitator. The gang turns it into a film about a man who is willing to go as far as it takes to get the role of a lifetime. Then, Zach brings us the story of old broken links being usurped for nefarious purposes. The gang cooks up the story of a disgruntled spy looking for one last big hit. All of that, plus: the motivation of pornography companies, tax return busywork, a very high disruptive note, a matter of time, and a hilarious callback to an earlier episode of No Bad Ideas. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel is out this week, but stepping up to fill the void is a truly special guest star: the mastermind behind The Message, Steal the Stars, and the recently unleashed Give Me Away - it's Mac Rogers! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of a car company bringing old school smells kicking and screaming into the future. The squad turns it into a story about a one-of-a-kind event that immerses its patrons in the sights, sounds, and smells of the past. Then, in our second bad idea, Zach brings us the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, and the letters it's been sending promising enhanced accountability. The gang turns it into the story of two kids who are marked for failure from early on in life to a terrifyingly literal degree. All of that, plus: the Goodwood Festival of Speed, moving character-driven things, scents on demand,self-fulfilling prophecies, and brutally depressing dramas about there being no way out. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 For more of Mac's work, check out the website for his production company Gideon Media or follow him on Twitter. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready for some terrible decisions, everyone? First, Sarah brings us a report of strange doings at a local Home Depot, and we turn it into a competition that turns into a war that turns into a supernatural battle between the forces of good and the forces of meh. Then Zach offers up the story of an odd house in California and we craft a themed murder mystery party perfect for a bunch of (un)suspecting billionaires. Plus: people having too much money, famous lines from Chinatown, out of body experiences, one little bitty curse, and getting dangerously close to dirty jokes about lumber. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel, Zach, and Sarah are taking a brief summer break this week, but we didn't want to leave you without any No Bad Ideas! So check out this old favorite from our archives, featuring our good comrade Christian T. Kelley-Madera. This week on No Bad Ideas... bugs, bugs, bugs! But before that, the Bad Ideas Band is joined by their dear friend Christian T. Kelley-Madera, co-creator and director of The Once and Future Nerd. But soon, it's all business, and (thanks to Sarah's bad idea contribution) that business is a truly unhinged tale of illness and entomology in the Caribbean. Plus, cockroaches bent on world destruction, the wrong way to eat a Reese's, and a very different kind of Cuban crisis. This Week's Bad Idea™ Listen to Christian's work at The Once and Future Nerd. Follow Christian On Twitter: @Ctmadera Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Phone calls! Arrests! Dystopias! Bad breakups! As many crimes as possible! In our first bad idea, Gabriel brings the squad the tale of a man who called the police to ask why he hadn't been arrested... and was then promptly arrested. The team turns it into a film about a world so broken and destroyed that going to jail may be preferable to what you'll find in the "free" world. Then, Sarah presents a report of a heartbroken woman who went on a traffic-offense odyssey in her ex's car to get revenge. The squad barrels through the best way to adapt it into a story of stolen identity in the not-too-distant future. All of that, plus: raid ID, ten grizzled assassins, international incidents, an adult superstore, and public parental forgiveness. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back with a couple ideas that go deeper and deeper! First Sarah brings us the story of a very inappropriate toy and we turn it into a Harriet the Spy reboot working a case on a clock in time for the Christmas Rush. Then, Zach has an update on an old bad idea: the deep fakes a mom put together to sabotage a cheerleading team may not be so deep faked. We switch genres from superhero to mystery, with a high school journalist who gets in way over their head. Plus: WallStreetBets but more evil, classic clickbait headlines, the most precocious 12-year-old ever, a TRON battle situation, and the laugh this country needs. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re off to Europe this week, with a pair of historical farces from different eras! First Zach, brings us a tale of Swiss aristocrats trying to enforce feudal rights and we turn it into a Succession-esque thriller of a young heir who may or may not try to burn it all down. Then, Gabriel takes us all the way back to Biblical times, with a story of a Noah’s Ark stranded on the coast of England. We take it and create a contest to determine the one true ark, and the family who have devoted themselves to ark building for very varied reasons. Plus: Robber Barons, jackalopes, non-certified floating objects, three brothers named Noah, and a Boston Tea Party with Circe. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach is out again this week but we’ve pulled in not one but two (three if you count the doggo that trotted up to Sarah’s mic) of our favorite people in podcasting: Victoriocity’s own Jen and Chris Sugden! First, Gabriel brings us a tale of an aspirational identity swap and we turn it up and add a bunch of twisty layers that culminate in a cross-country road trip to the lights of Vegas. Next, Sarah offers up a particularly silly idea from congress and we turn it into this summer’s next action-packed disaster movie, with trees… on the moon! Then we chat with them about the origins of their podcast Victoriocity, how they work as writing partners, and the refining process to bring an episode from idea to a script in the studio. Plus: that Midlands energy, 8-10 scientists and politicians in charge of The World, a very grizzled Bruce Willis, pulling a Christopher Nolan and heavy-handed metaphors. For more top-tier comedy from the Sugdens in your life, check out Victoriocity and follow both Chris and Jen on Twitter! Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: Crime! Cheese! Photographs! Meditation! Corporate synergy! Personalized prompts! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of a notorious crime boss that was brought down by an untimely social media post. The squad does their best to spin it into the story of a floating platform in the middle of the ocean, where you can find a free-for-all black market where everything is up for sale. Then, in our second idea, Zach presents a corporate giant's latest attempt to control the hearts and minds of its employees. The gang turns it into the story of a young woman who goes to work for a futuristic startup who is a little too concerned with what their employees really need. All of that, plus: James Bond villains, ambitious underlings, company bureaucracy, a portrait of how someone loses their soul, and hardened criminals seeking revenge! Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach is out for the week but we’ve convinced Lillian Holman, a very talented audio creator and one of our dear friends, to pitch hit in the NBI Hot Seat and help us mix some metaphors! First, Gabriel brings us a battle over exactly what’s in a name, and we turn it into a marriage plot based on the most convoluted inheritance scheme of all time. Then, Sarah presents us with an Italian artist’s latest project, and we turn it into a touching coming-of-age story about what can happen when you go to meet your heroes and see… nothing. Plus: Casting gimmicks, horrible grad school flashbacks, whole new definitions of imposter syndrome, the ghost of Robert Mitchum, and Scenic La Jolla. Check out Greenhouse, and for more of Lillian’s work visit her website and follow her on Twitter! Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back for yet another round of untangling the sad, the stupid, and the gross. First, Zach brings us a horrible, heartbreaking story of abandonment at sea and we feel the best thing we can do with the idea is launch it at Mars. Then Gabriel delivers a story of botched revenge and we turn it into a tale of spies who really wish their neighbors would leave them alone. Plus: Teelon Tusk, a perfect comedy sketch, all sorts of bobby-traps, very petty vengeance, and dying of old age in the Zombie Apocalypse. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back to sift through fake posts and posers for another couple rounds of Bad Ideas! First, Gabriel brings us an artifact from the depths of Reddit and we turn it into a battle of cartoon chefs for the ages (and for equal pay). Then, Sarah brings us a story of a wedding wrecked for an excellent reason, and we turn it into a long-running TV show that combines the best parts of Charlie’s Angels and 90-Day Fiancé. Plus: a Ruse Cruise captained by Mr. Trollface, all the billionaires ex-wives, good season five problems, better George Orwell books, and the breakup version of Law And Order. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: 90's fads! Grief counseling! Erotica! Devious librarians! And special guest star, Sarah Rhea Werner! First, Zach brings us the story of a 90's fad that, when it died, had its very own wake, funeral, and memorial service. The team turns it into a heartwarming period dramedy about families, grieving, and confronting our own mortality through parenthood. Then, Sarah presents an article about a town that made the news when a book swap box got a little too saucy. The squad turns it into a film about a library trying to get funding through erotica and scandal! Then, we have a short discussion with Sarah Werner about creating during the pandemic and the virtues of teaching others the craft of writing. All of that, plus: disgruntled priests, digital life, holographic spouses, cesspits, and insatiable hungers. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 For more of Sarah Rhea Werner's work check out her website, follow her on Twitter, and tune into her shows Girl in Space and The Write Now Podcast. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: girlfriends! Birthdays! Scams! Tokens! Art! On our first bad idea, Gabriel brings the team a report of a man who was dating a lot of women so that he could have birthdays all year round. We try our best to turn it into the story of a spy who is very desperately trying to get caught. Then, Sarah presents an article about an NFT whose auction may result in a real art piece getting destroyed. We come up with the elite team of museum curators who is going to save the art world from itself through theft and crime. All of that, plus: the Dark Souls of dating sims, drawings on refrigerators, Silicon Valley villainy, establishments who have lost their mind, and terrible schemes. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: it's special guest star Christopher Dole, co-creator of Arden! Also bear fighting, incompetent criminals, and a conversation about creating content while the world is upside down! In our first story, the gang takes Sarah's story about a man who (unsuccessfully) tries to fight a bear and turns it into a film about a has-been wrestler who tries to jump start his career by... yep, you guessed it! Then, Zach brings us the story of a scam based around getting young children addicted to gambling through apps that masquerade as kids' games. The squad does their best to figure out how to turn this into a film about the criminal screw-ups who accidentally find themselves in the middle of a digital goldmine. Finally, we have a conversation with Christopher about how he got mixed up in the podcasting racket, how Arden strikes it's one-of-a-kind balance, and how he finds the show's rhythm and musicality as Arden's editor! All of that, plus: the stupidest case in the department, therapy being the moral of the story, disturbances in multiple parks, Don Corleone's daughter's wedding, and games with animated poop emojis. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back after a quick Unseen hiatus (have you listened to the latest episode of Unseen? It’s very good!) with some visibly bad ideas! First, Sarah delivers a wheelbarrow full of pennies to Zach and Gabriel, who turn a story of petty bullying by a horrible boss into a Leprechaun with the absolute worst luck. Then, Gabriel presents a research expedition that no one asks for and we turn it into a psychological thriller that plays with the limits of human endurance and the passage of time. Plus: the Scrooge McDuck, time-out island, radioactive nonsense, more tales of Job, and for sure a real website. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: the triumphant return of guest star Mike Schubert to the Bad Ideas Thunderdome! Plus two stories of theft, technology, art, and daring getaways! In our first bad idea, a man's crypto misfortune is turned into a violent rampage of revenge... and its sequel... and then the sequel to the sequel. Then, Mike brings us the tale of a series of art thieves who take a very unusual escape route from the museum they have plundered. The gang does their best to adapt their story into something with depth and plausible character motivations. All of that, plus: Schwarzenegger-style puns, an alternative version of the 1980's, the word "fungible," animal-based nicknames, and things going hog wild. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Check out the Kickstarter campaign for Mike's new show, Modern Muckraker. And check out Mike's ongoing shows Potterless, Horse, and Meddling Adults! Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on No Bad Ideas: Airplanes! Stowaways! Performance art! Carbon dating! For our first bad idea, Gabriel brings us the story of a woman who has made a habit out of sneaking into airplanes all over the world. The gang does their best to turn it into an epic space western opera of one woman's struggle to preserve her freedom from the evil empire. Then, Sarah presents the story of a woman who is trying to decide whether she should break up with her immature boyfriend or not. The team turns it into a tale of an epic relationship drama in the world of archeology. All of that, plus: people who just want to be left alone, crude etchings, little kids who meet mythic figures, radical new origin stories, and the worst version of Carmen Sandiego in the world. Idea #1 Idea #2 Join our Share the Magic campaign to promote our new show, Unseen, for opportunity to win exclusive Unseen merchandise! Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: road trips, excellent names, super villains, and gritty reboots! In our first idea, Sarah brings us the story of an unforgettable man who took a very ill-advised plane ride with an extremely ill-advised cargo. The gang does their best to turn it into a modern, dark, gritty reboot of a beloved 90's family comedy film. Then, Zach presents the tale of a mother who crosses some terrible lines to help her daughter get ahead in life. The team reconfigures it into a story of mother-daughter bonding against the backdrop of an epic superhero-supervillain rivalry. All of that, plus: money of undisclosed origin, evil ice cream, the name of a franchise character, the drug master of wherever, and the most inevitable article that's ever existed. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back - with some of the most extreme bad (and good!) ideas we’ve had on the show in a while. First, Zach brings us one of the worst kidnapping stories we’ve heard and we decide to ignore the awfulness entirely and build a tavern in a fantasy world where dumping annoying adventurers in a dungeon is much more understandable. Then Gabriel has a story made possible by Facebook, and having a fairly common name. We take a bad idea that turned out impossibly well and complicate it with some of the ambitions and heartrending drama of a band that wants to go big. Plus: an Indiana Jones opening, dares from the Universe, Kafkaesque bureaucracy, #content, and the casino business. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 You can check out The Paul O’Sullivan Band on YouTube. Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas: social media, bad dates, vaccines, and grandmas! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of a man who seeks a very distasteful kind of "justice" after a bad date. The gang tries their best to turn it into a romcom-y scheme involving a completely fictional pop star that isn't based on anyone in the real world. Then, Gabriel presents the story of two women who dressed up as grannies for the most timely heist of the year. Can the squad find a way to turn them into the unlikely heroes of a progressive crime film? All of that, plus: our least sympathetic protagonist ever, ingenious medical knowledge, inside men, a year of absurdity, and high effort/low reward scams! Idea #1 Idea #2 Join our Share the Magic campaign to promote our new show, Unseen, for opportunity to win exclusive Unseen merchandise! Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Content Warning: this episode's second idea contains mention of suicide. If you would like to avoid this content, please stop listening at the 19:00 mark. Today on No Bad Ideas: high-speed business opportunities and medical chatbots giving people dangerous advice! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the opportunity of a fast and furious lifetime: the chance to buy a rocket car at a steal. The gang feels the need - the need for speed - and does everything they can to turn it into an unlicensed sequel to Drive. Then, Zach brings us the story of a medical chatbot that gives some questionable advice. The gang does their best to turn it into the tale of an AI that goes rogue when it needs to impersonate a powerful gangster's psychiatrist. All of that, plus: Urbina-Landia, the boardroom of bad startups, Evird Garage, perfect grammar, and Simulated Bernie. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Join our Share the Magic campaign to promote our new show, Unseen, for opportunity to win exclusive Unseen merchandise! Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas... Rings! Thieves! Railroads! Mind Control! Clowns! Ecology Professors! In our first story, Gabriel brings us the latest exploits of No Bad Ideas's favorite superhero: Florida Man! What's he been up to? Proposing to his girlfriend... with his secret lover's rings. The gang turns it into a Western about a group of badass wronged ladies who are out for revenge. Then, in our second story, Zach brings us the tale of a conference discussing censorship... which was then censored! The gang does their best to turn it into a new take on the concept of a society where the government controls absolutely everything, even who is allowed to exist! All of that, plus: maximum suspense, the champion we deserve, a supernatural curse, a party of a sort, and better television shows. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on No Bad Ideas, feline lawyers and extreme nuptials! In our first bad idea, Sarah brings us the story of a lawyer who's video chat turns against them, and makes them look like a cat. The gang does their best to turn it into a high stakes, high pressure, public relations-based thriller. Then, Gabriel presents the tale of a couple who got married sixty feet beneath the surface. The team does their best to turn it into the next fish-out-of-water romantic comedy, with the added twist of a Martian setting! All of that, plus: the cesspool of all the bad things humanity has done, the Iguana President, mysterious weekend activities, Big Mars Productions, and pitches that are bought in the room. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back with two more bad ideas from The Future… and the future is now. Zach starts us off with an entrepreneurial idea that will surely have no unintended consequences and we turn it into a thriller that starts with the Stasi and ends among the stars. Then Sarah has a dilemma from the world of online education, which we turn into a con that brings a whole university together. Plus: our ten minute TedTalks, a week of white void, nearly-there technology, the reference squad, and the five least believable words in the English language. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re wasting no time and jumping from zero to sixty with the bad ideas this week. Gabriel starts us off with a car thief who found way more than they bargained for in a stolen vehicle. A deeply strange riff on the buddy comedy ensues. Then Sara raises, if not the dead, then a standoff between man and ghost. We turn it into a story full of supernatural misunderstandings and misplaced confidence. Plus: the weirdest meet-cute, Ghostbuster merch, blinding nativity, small things going wrong, and a sublime lack of self-awareness. Today’s Bad Ideas™: Idea #1 Idea #2 Support the show: http://patreon.com/NoBadIdeas See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices