Neon Brainiacs (A Retro Horror Movie Podcast)

Roses are red, violets are blue, Harry Warden is coming for you! To celebrate Valentine's Day today, this week we're talking about the 1981 Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine! Topics include regional dialects, the geographical definition of a bluff, and the great hot dog debate: boiled or grilled?

Straight talk only on this podcast, maniacs! This week we're tackling our first Freddy flick, A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. You know it, you love it, you headbang to its theme by Dokken. Topics include Tool music videos, The Simpsons and the illustrious return of hitting a lock with a blunt object to open it.

Live from Pluton, we're talking about the 1986 sci-fi comedy TerrorVision! This movie rules and we had a lot of fun watching it. Topics include Mary Woronov's acting versatility, The Real Ghostbusters and which Bill And Ted movie is the superior flick.

This week we're taking a trip back in time with the 1986 supernatural movie Gothic! We follow Mary Shelley on one bizarre night in 1816 as she hatches the idea for her novel Frankenstein. While discussing the pure weirdness of this Ken Russell flick, we also talk about unintentional Gwar cameos, doorknob mirkins, and Nickelodeon's Inside Out Boy.

Rise from your graves, maniacs! This week we're talking about the 1985 cult classic Re-Animator! This marks the second time Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton have shown up here and we could not be more stoked. Topics discussed include the Simpsons episode "Homer Goes To College", the horrible treatment of the mentally ill in the 80's, and this movie's obvious Little Rascals influence.

There's a man with no life in his eyes, and that man is Jason Voorhees! This week we're tackling the first in this robust franchise, Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning! We talk at great length about such topics as futuristic grave robbers, tense music in not-so-tense moments, and accidental impressions of Dave Chappelle doing a Rick James impression. We also shit all over the MPAA, Ben freaks out over Tom Morga's resume, and we ask the important question: does Jason Voorhees poop?

Time for a supermarket stab-a-thon! This week we're talking about the 1989 slasher flick Intruder with our bud Ryan, one of Ben's film partners in BPO Films. After hours, a night crew at a supermarket are picked off one by one in grisly fashion by a mysterious killer. Topics include the merit of high-waisted pants, cassingles (look em up, youngsters), and wheat germ being the true hero of this movie. We also talk about the ridiculously inaccurate packaging from the Wizard Video DVD release of Intruder!

Grab some fish and chips and a spot of tea because this week we're talking about the British paranormal horror flick Bloody New Year from 1987! A group of friends stumble upon a deserted island hotel, only to be tormented by the spirits trapped within. We'll chat about synchronized weapon wielding, using context clues to figure out British slang, and being terrorized by canned laughter in the woods.

Happy Holidays, maniacs! This week we're talking about the 1980 Christmas slasher To All A Goodnight. After a hazing ritual gone wrong at a girls' school two years prior, a killer dresses as Santa Claus to get revenge on the current students. We'll talk about obvious red herrings, more creepy harbingers named Ralph, and nerds turning into Casanovas!

"Attention, shoppers! The mall will be closing in five minutes for a bloodbath!" This week we're getting into the holiday shopping spirit by talking 1986's Chopping Mall. We'll discuss filthy pizza joints, a fear of technology versus a fear of lightning, and the insane amount of connections to huge horror franchises contained within.

Hey maniacs, we've finally got our first guest episode! This week we're joined by Allen from the fantastic podcasts Werewolf Ambulance and Marveling At Marvel's Marvels to talk about Nomads from 1986. This very confusing movie follows a nomadic tribe of demons, a French anthropologist and the doctor who witnessed his last moments alive. We'll chat about LA punk landmarks, the Nuge, and director John McTiernan's complete lack at understanding women.

It took 12 episodes but we're finally tapping a film from the Troma trough! This week we're dissecting the 1988 flick Death By Dialogue, in which a group of teens visiting an isolated house find a haunted movie script that starts to pick them off one by one. In between fits of us butchering character names, we discuss bad Geddy Lee impressions, volleyball montages, and an anecdote about Ken Sagoes' bird books.

What's that smell? Did someone burn the turkey? Nope, it's the steaming pile of Home Sweet Home from 1981! Body By Jake plays a PCP-fueled serial killer terrorizing a large family's ranch on Thanksgiving Day. Pass the stuffing and we'll talk about making Squidward noises in bed, Gregg's aversion to needle-based body horror, and this family's weird obsession with peas.

Excelsior, maniacs! This week we're jumping into the pages of the comic book-themed creature feature Cellar Dweller from 1988. A secluded art school is ravaged by a demon who comes to life in the real world via one comic artist's illustrations. Issues in this issue include hitting a lock with a blunt object to open it, 80s cleaning montages, and the Schmecronomicon (not to be confused with the Necronomicon).

Hide And Seek is the name of the game this week as we discuss 1989's weird horror/thriller Hider In The House! The prolific Gary Busey plays a recently discharged mental patient who shacks up in an unsuspecting family's attic. We'll discuss the oeuvre of Mimi Rogers, archaic technology, and accidental anti-John Carpenter propaganda.

Gather 'round, boys and ghouls, the Creep has some stories to share with us! Creepshow 2 is our movie this week and our first Stephen King project we're tackling. Topics include aspects of this film that definitely do not hold up in 2017, keeping your porno in the fridge, and the magic of car phones.

The clock is ticking! Join us for episode 7 where we talk through stuffy noses about the Myers-less Halloween III: Season Of The Witch! While it failed to launch the Halloween series as an anthology, it succeeded in warming our hearts. Topics breached include 80s Halloween costumes, the artistic merit of The Real Ghostbusters, and the persuasive powers of Tom Atkins' mustache.

Practice those wedding vows and lock your doors, because this week we're talking about He Knows You're Alone! A crazed killer stalks and murders brides-to-be before their big day, and he's got Amy Jensen in his sights. We'll gab about the music of Sesame Street, jogging with your hair down, badass amusement park rides, and the big screen debut of Tom Hanks!

Well, we picked a really bad week to review a movie with Harvey Weinstein's name on it. What a piece of trash. Anyway, make some smores and join us around the campfire because we're talking about The Burning from 1981. After a prank goes wrong, a horribly burned camp caretaker exacts his revenge on anyone in his way, which includes Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, Ned Eisenberg and Holly Hunter. We'll talk about bad John Travolta impressions, dancing pecs, and the unmatched technical prowess of Tom Savini.

Deep from outer space comes episode 4! Join us as we take a bite out of Critters 2: The Main Course. We'll discuss the cultural relevance of Madballs, using woods porn as currency, and the eternal argument of Van Halen vs. Van Hagar.

Join us as we dive into episode 3 and chat about 1987's The Gate! Stephen Dorff, in his film debut, accidentally summons demons in his backyard with the help of his metalhead friend Terry. We talk about weird family hobbies, cute lil' demons, and wearing two flannels at the same time.

Episode 2 is upon us and for this one we talk about the sci-fi/action/horror mash-up The Hidden. Kyle Maclachlan plays an FBI agent trying to track down a mysterious alien parasite possessing various people around Los Angeles to go on murderous crime sprees. We talk about fast cars and loud jams, various links between this movie and the Nightmare On Elm Street series, and the origin of the term "deadass".

Episode 1! For the premiere of Neon Brainiacs, we tackled Blood Rage (aka Slasher, aka Nightmare At Shadow Woods). This wacky slasher follows twins Terry and Todd after Terry commits murder at a local drive-in and frames Todd. Ten years later, Todd escapes to set the record straight. We'll talk about chipped ham, straight edge revenge and buying condoms from Ted Raimi in a public restroom.