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My Smart Speaker is Haunted!

My Smart Speaker is Haunted!

39 episodes

S1 Ep 38Episode #038 - It's Not You, It's Us

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Still reeling from last episode's bombshell? There's another one incoming. Plus the most amount of clips we've ever put in an episode! Strap in for a sneak peek at the future. Make sure to hit subscribe and follow on your podcast app, plus on the socials for updates:- https://instagram.com/myhauntedspeakerhttps://bsky.app/profile/hauntedspeakerpod.bsky.social Thanks for being with us pals - Joseph, Tex and Wil x*This episode contains swearing and adult themes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sep 28, 202520 min

S1 Ep 37Episode #037 - Time For A Burger Party

Episode 37 = crescendo. It's part three of the drama at the disco, as something unspeakable happens at Selby's premier gathering. Plus there's questionable bus etiquette, acoustic dancing and Tex is suffering with a cold. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sep 14, 202533 min

S1 Ep 36Episode #036 - An Illegible Mess

Things are getting sticky as we return to the dancefloor at the disco grooves party - plus red twine, tat shopping and our favourite radio presenter is back (not you, sorry Begs)This is part two of our disco special - hit subscribe to get the final installment straight to your phone when it's released! Will Hetty thwart dastardly Ross's scheme? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 31, 202538 min

S1 Ep 35Episode #035 - A Sandwich Beyond Scope

Don your grooviest outfits, we're at a disco party! All the great and the good are there mingling, plus there's a mysterious rendezvous at the Cost Benefit Patio and somebody's having night visions. This is part one of a three part epic, so be sure to hit subscribe for the latest episode straight to your device. Remember sharing is caring! Tell a friend, bring them into the fold. We're @myhauntedspeaker on insta. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 17, 202541 min

S1 Ep 34Episode #034 - The Little Puddle of Brown Liquid

brenda_from_bristol.gif Yes, we're back and on track! Fashionable face coverings, unexpected deliveries and the return of the musical doorbell are all a tap away. Also, Begley's feeling vindicated after the stick for last week's late episode - there's an even bigger scandal involving another one of the gang on this one. Instagram? @myhauntedspeaker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 3, 202532 min

S1 Ep 33Episode #033 - Damian Gordon's Bedtime Storytime Show

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We're back! Get your ears round this episode as the pod returns with scattered platters, more tour and your favourite bedtime storytime show. The Serendipity Hotel is taking bookings now! Tell a friend, share the love! And yes this is a week late and we all know who to blame for that (or you will when you press play). Apologies all round. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jul 27, 202538 min

S1 Ep 32Episode #032 - Three Unsuccessful Boyfriends

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Clips! Glorious clips! Take a shot every time one of the gang or the speaker say "Selby" this week and you'll be legless by the second act.We take a guided tour of a local landmark, Joseph has his own tour of the area and we're all invited to a fun day out. And yes, there's a few swears.Follow us on insta: @myhauntedspeaker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jul 6, 202537 min

S1 Ep 31Episode #031 - A Stack Of Lady Fingers

It's a marathon of more unprompted murmurings! Tex, Wil and Joseph return to untangle the web - and this week two of our favourite recurring characters are acting suspiciously (despite their best efforts), we've a game of Jenga with a difference and the Mattress Universe™ equivalent of a meet cute occurs. Rate, review, subscribe, tell a friend - and drop us a follow for more. We're @myhauntedspeaker on insta. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 22, 202539 min

S1 Ep 30Episode #030 - A Stylishly Empathetic Headpiece

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The rumours are true - this episode's full of more unprompted clips from a haunted smart speaker. This week we experience a KIDNAP plot, a spinning hat and an unexpected glut of olives. And what is everyone's favourite private investigator up to now?! And apologies, the speaker's sweary in this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 8, 202538 min

S1 Ep 29Episode #029 - A Ray Charles Birthday

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Watch out, there's clips about! Why is our favourite private investigator hiding in a bush? Which character has the hots for an apple thief? And who has mislaid the TV remote? Tell a friend, share the love! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 25, 202538 min

S1 Ep 28Episode #028 - A Raspberry Ripple of Excitement

Get ready, as the gang (and you) return for more unprompted clips from the realm of the haunted smart speaker. This time: be prepared for a trip to the nail salon, a seafood based side quest and an out of season sexy Santa suit. Leave a comment! Follow us on the socials! Tell a friend! We love you for all the above. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 11, 202542 min

S1 Ep 27Episode #027 - Frome Wasn't Built In A Day

Clips upon clips upon clips. Intrigue abounds as we travel back to the turn of the millennium with mysterious food vendors, signed feet pics and a young star in the making. Write us a lovely review or leave a comment, we like that kind of thing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 27, 202535 min

S1 Ep 26Episode #026 - The Sound of an Email

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More unprompted smart speaker musings? You betcha. Uncle Horton is top of the plots as a mystery man darkens his door, an upsetting email is received and we meet a psychic with a difference. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 13, 202534 min

S1 Ep 25Episode #025 - The Story So Far

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Bunting! Street parties! Warring retailers! It's a mattress retrospective as we wear our finest hats to celebrate the podcast's silver jubilee. Take a listen back to some favourite clips, plus a recap of the story so far in a special episode. This episode comes with a potty mouth* swear warning (*Tex) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mar 30, 202533 min

S1 Ep 24Episode #024 - Everything's Coming Up Metcalfe

Buongiorno! Tex is going through a break-up, PC Parsons is a man on a mission and there's strange things being thrown in rivers. We want you... to tell us your favourite clips from the past year of episodes as we celebrate with a silver jubilee special for #025. Get in touch http://instagram.com/myhauntedspeaker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mar 16, 202530 min

S1 Ep 23Episode #023 - An Unreasonable Quantity of Raisins

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Settle in for a dramatic episode in the Mattress Universe™! There's potential corporate espionage underway, some misdelivered holiday chocolates and Tom's bursting into rooms when you least expect it, as Tex, Wil and Joseph present more clips from the haunted smart speaker. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mar 2, 202532 min

S1 Ep 22Episode #022 - Cecil the Chocolate Baboon Cake

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Haunted happenings! A bumper number of new unprompted smart speaker clips this episode as we're formally introduced to Aunt Patricia, Sympathy Sinitta celebrates her birthday and there's ESPIONAGE involving secret documents and wide brimmed hats.Warning: the smart speaker uses some fruity language Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feb 17, 202533 min

S1 Ep 21Episode #021 - The Beastly Birds of Clapham Common

More unprompted smart speaker clips? You betcha!This week there's a BLAZING ROW between two characters, an INVASION of winged creatures and we finally find out who Bed Linens Weekly readers are LUSTING after. No surprises really.Take cover! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feb 2, 202534 min

S1 Ep 20Episode #020 - Howdy, The Figure Says

We're back for more clips and nonsense! If you're baffled by your smart speaker's voice recently changing, rest assured Tex and Wil's is even weirder.We all know that every good soap opera has its own conveniently placed café - and the Mattress Universe finally gains its own. And does anyone know where we can find a copy of Dr Doolittle on DVD? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jan 19, 202530 min

S1 Ep 19Episode #019 - A Mattress New Year

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Happy New Year! As we take down our taffeta decorations and look to the year ahead, we learn more about the beginning of Horton's business empire and discover a whole Selby broadcasting district we never knew existed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jan 5, 202535 min

S1 Ep 18Episode #018 - Uncle Horton's Christmas Message

Merry Yuletide! Happy Holidays! Festive Greetings! It's the Christmas special, which means Tex, Wil and Joseph have donned their cracker hats and sifted through the archive to bring you a bumper mix of all the times the smart speaker has uttered anything vaguely festive. Thanks for listening this year and embracing us, means a lot x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dec 22, 202431 min

S1 Ep 17Episode #017 - A World of Weevils

It's back to the future (present) with this week's smart speaker outbursts. There's DRAMA in the court room, LAUGHTER at a new theme park and CONFUSION over mysteriously appearing gourds.Tell a friend, share the love! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dec 8, 202432 min

S1 Ep 16Episode #016 - The Crisp Audio

After last week's unexpected foray into the past, Wil presents us with more smart speaker nonsense as we trace the history of the Sloane-Ketterings. Plus we meet an immigrant shaking up the Selby cultural scene.Tex declares his love for himself and Joseph's only half paying attention after Episode 15's catfishing.And some of the audio is really CRISP! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nov 24, 202429 min

S1 Ep 15Episode #015 - The Mattress Awards

We've donned our finest clothes for this season's hottest event: the Mattress Awards! Will we bump into Bed Linens Weekly's star reporter Vicky on the turquoise carpet? Will the swimwear portion overshadow the court case? And how will Tom and Horton cope being in the same room as each other?All this and more with Tex & Wil's next batch of nonsense clips from their haunted smart speaker (and Joseph's back too) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nov 10, 202430 min

S1 Ep 14Episode #014 - The Station Wagon Beauty Contest

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We hope you've brought your compulsory catering contribution - we're off to Hengistbury this episode. Plus we find out about Bridget's childhood trauma and there's a surprise celebrity guest at the Mattress Awards. More unprompted smart speaker clips, more mattress chat, more questionable references. Share the love and tell your friends about us.Follow us on the socials @myhauntedspeaker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 27, 202434 min

Trailer: My Smart Speaker is Haunted!

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Is your smart speaker haunted?Tex & Wil have been plagued by their possessed smart speaker blurting out random nonsense for several years, entirely unprovoked, and captured on a sleep recorder app in the dead of night. What started as some obscure silly sound bites seems to have evolved into a full story in an artificially intelligent world.Join them and their friend, amateur sleuth Joseph Begley, as they listen back to the peculiar proclamations, and try to unravel the mysteries of the Mattress Universe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 21, 20241 min

S1 Ep 13Episode #013 - The 18-Kilogram Flapjack

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Episode 13, complete with 13 clips and released on the 13th of the month? We'd love to claim we planned it, but it all just fell into place...Prepare yourself as Uncle Horton starts to get suspicious, there's an invasion of crickets and we finally learn what "we don't talk about Sarah" did to upset everyone.Oh, and a very very heavy flapjack. Tasty! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 13, 202431 min

S1 Ep 12Episode #012 - a Visit from the Spice Girls

Another week, and more uninitiated clips from the smart spea... Attention! Would one of the mattress selling team please come to the management office immediately... Plus, there's ugly gifts being dished out and will Tom pull through? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sep 29, 202427 min

S1 Ep 11Episode #011 - The Doorbell that plays La Cucaracha

It's another episode of unprompted musings from Tex and Wil's smart speaker!This week, the search for Uncle Horton intensifies, Joseph desperately hopes for an update on Tom the Mattress Man's condition and we learn about the market for novelty napkin rings.Also, warning: there must have been something in the water the day we recorded this, judging by the number of lines that are unnecessarily sung through-out Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sep 15, 202428 min

S1 Ep 10Episode #010 - The Gorgonzola Principles

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We're back with more smart speaker nonsense!Feel like you're floating through life with no meaning? It's time for the overhaul you need with a set of new rules to live by. Tom's getting into altercations and trigger warning: this episode comes with great peril for one character Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 31, 202427 min

S1 Ep 9Episode #009 - Delia's Plum Puddings

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MISSING: one document wallet full of official homeware secrets. Please return to Tom the Mattress Man if found. Reward: one taffeta bed runnerThis week Joseph, Tex and Wil learn more about the ongoing court case, Bridget's hunt for Uncle Horton continues and Delia's been busy baking Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 18, 202430 min

S1 Ep 8Episode #008 - Repugnantly Recognisable

Tex and Wil are back with more clips from their haunted smart speaker! Joseph's getting ever more frustrated as one foodstuff takes over the show - and there's developments as threads start to be connected.Reckon you could sprint in corduroy plimsoles? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aug 4, 202420 min

S1 Ep 7Episode #007 - My Second Least Favourite Biscuit

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There's light reading (bedtime reading?) from Bed Linens Weekly to get to and some surprising new lines are drawn between characters on the Mattress Universe family tree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jul 13, 202420 min

S1 Ep 6Episode #006 - A Spray of Sandwiches

It's a solemn start, as we're invited to the funeral of a recently departed friend. We also meet Gibson, mattress seller extraordinaire, and the oat powder's starting to pile up everywhere (bit of a nuisance, actually) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 30, 202417 min

S1 Ep 5Episode #005 - It's a Ruthless World, Mattress Retailery

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There's a shock plot twist in the mattress universe, as the war of the competing retailers "hots up". Plus poisoned fig rolls and a death - but are the two connected? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 15, 202419 min

S1 Ep 4Episode #004 - The People of Different Sizes

Welcome back to the No 1 mattress based podcast, despite what you might hear in the biased media. My friends grow in number - as we meet Uncle Horton, Neil Parsons and Mademoiselle Mixed Copper-Alloy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 1, 202417 min

S1 Ep 3Episode #003 - Big Brunette Bridget

We're back in the Mattress Universe with more from Tex and Wil's haunted smart speaker. There's only one question on everyone's mind - why do you have a big brunette Bridget on your website? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 15, 202418 min

S1 Ep 2Episode #002 - A Very Fetching Shade of Puce

Back for more already? This week there's a jelly bean controversy, Tex starts an email exchange with a Spanish band and a concerning delivery is made by Tom the Mattress Man. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 15, 202417 min

S1 Ep 1Episode #001 - Full Steam Ahead, Sailor Boys!

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It's full steam ahead as Joseph is introduced to Tex and Wil's possessed smart speaker for the first time. Captured on a sleep recorder in the middle of the night, we listen back to the absurd sound bites our Smart Speaker has come out with, entirely unprovoked and entirely silly. Who is Tom the Mattress Man? Who's taking a boat to Cherbourg? And who wants this quiche? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 15, 202420 min