My Brother, My Brother And Me

In today’s episode, Justin goes on a righteous and important quest to claim the Birdman’s special burrito, but instead ends up claiming nothing but heart-rending shame. It’s a TOUGH LISTEN.Suggested talking points: Big Eyes Watch, Under the Table and Phishing, The Three-Hat Problem, A Recipe for You, Tony Hawk’s Pro Burrito, Nostalgia Per InchFor more ways to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

It’s the final week of the MaxFunDrive, so we’ve pulled out all the stops! By which we mean, we talked about Olive Garden, again, for like twenty minutes.Suggested talking points: Old Bill, College Shirt, Toilet Book, Liquid Benefits, Olive Garden Hacks, Wine and CheeseBecome a MaxFun supporter: https://maximumfun.org/join

Look, the title’s challenging, okay? We get it. It’s probably not what you’re thinking it’s about, because we’re talking about athletic balls. Maybe that is what you were thinking about? Are we the problem? Yeah, actually, that sounds about right.Suggested talking points: Happy Birthday Bugs, Peart-a Potty, Cello Wrestling, Basketball Announcement, Real American Hot Dogs, Tender Milkshake, Foot LidsMore resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Consider becoming a supporter of the MaxFun network: https://maximumfun.org/join

The stakes are awfully high this episode, both for the continuation of our podcasting empire and also for the many cigar-laden orphans Travis has taken under his wing. Did we mention the MaxFunDrive is on, by the way? No presh.Suggested talking points: Mr. Reggie Bigshot, One Chance Trick Shorts, Knife Improvements, An Intolerable Bitcoin Segment, Creamy Creamz, Mall JobsMore resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Consider becoming a supporter of the MaxFun network: https://maximumfun.org/join

We’re kicking off our long-delayed, fully-casual MaxFunDrive with today’s episode, and celebrating the occasion by firing an enormous cloud of mechanical space debris toward the unsuspecting surface of our Earth. That’ll teach ‘em!Consider becoming a supporter of our show: www.maximumfun.org/join/Suggested talking points: The Piper, Accidental Sixteenth Chapel, Scareinara, Good Wine Years, Basement Porno Hoard, MIR’s Big Taco Crash, Tire PhilosopherMore resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

In this one, we all take turns being the bad boy! But it’s just for fun — please do not get worried that it’s a permanent thing. It’s one of our skits that we do! None of it is real!Suggested talking points: Heel Turn, Garbage Volcano, Pepperoni Thief, TikTok O’ Clock, Granny Kern, Grindin’ (w/ Hank “Tony Hank” Green), Ice Cream Cocktails, This One’s Skunked

In which Travis weaponizes his worst segment with unprecedented menace, and also we ask Lin-Manuel Miranda how he would murder Super Mario, which does not seem like a great use of his time, now that we write it out like this.Suggested talking points: Movies Never Say Die, Gamer Facts, So You Pissed Your Pants, Boring Old Books, Mario Murder (w/ Lin), ShaqeroniSupport the Sylvia Rivera Law Project: https://srlp.org/about/contact/More resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

In today’s episode, we inexplicably relitigate the film Titanic, which is a million years old, and come up with a way cooler ending where the ship doesn’t break and the cool guy gets the treasure and everyone gets married. (Feat. Special Guestpert, Dr. James Bufeè!)Suggested talking points: Half-Virile Knight, Poster Prank, Having Fun While Shopping at Sears, A Hearty Bod Jam, We Fix Titanic Again, Home Summer Vibes, The Big PumpkinSupport the Foundation for Black Women’s Wellness here: http://ffbww.org/More resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

How much money would it cost to get celebrity Dave Bautista to come to your neighbor’s house and absolutely kick it the hell apart? Less than you might think!Suggested talking points: McElroy Masterclass, Cameo Conundrum, Looking a Gift Lawn Mower in the Mouth, Modern Castles, Burgerchip, Haunted Fishin’ HoleSupport the Marsha P. Johnson Institute: https://marshap.org/More resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

In which we make an unprecedented mid-year swap-eroonie, and then do our due diligence to inform the federal government about the change. We THINK we got our message through, but there’s no way to know for sure.Suggested talking points: Beezness, Blender Crimes, The iPod Travis, Juicy Mind Challenges, Naked SnailsSupport Black Lives Matter National here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019For more resources on anti-racism and ways to help fight police brutality, check out: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Hey everyone! We don’t have a new MBMBaM for you today — instead, we’re doing a feed drop of Minority Korner. It’s a fantastic show on the Maximum Fun network that’s all about discussing culture and news through an intersectional lens. We’re so appreciative that James allowed us to cross-post the latest episode from last Friday on our feed. This past weekend, we all witnessed a horrific escalation of police violence against protestors and Black folks across the country. We encourage everyone to not only seek out and support Black creators, artists and voices, but to find ways to support folks on the ground, either through bail funds or by providing direct support to frontline protestors. Subscribe to Minority Korner: https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/minority-korner/ Find a local bail fund to support: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd Find more educational anti-racism resources: http://bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES

When observing this episode from the future, it should serve as a pretty good benchmark for where we’re at, mentally speaking, mid-quarantine. Y’all, we spend a CHUNK of time talking about a cool blanket we had growing up. A BIG chunk.Suggested talking points: Scoob Fever, Choice Bee Cuts, Mono Lisa, Powerful Tiger Blankets, Swordproof Hippo, 3rd Grade Plagiarism

We cordially invite you to go for a ride with us in Justin’s large, lovely Buick on a one-way trip to Jokesburg! (Provided you’ve wiped your feet, of course. Actually, just lose the shoes entirely. Are those CORN CHIPS? Are you trying to bring CORN CHIPS in this beautiful vehicle? What’s wrong with you?!)Suggested talking points: Justin’s Big Beautiful Buick, First Pickles, Big Doctor/Little Doctor, Sexual Arby’s, Garage Sale Sword Fight

Perhaps it’s the months of seclusion that has given us this macabre fascination, but in today’s episode, we debate, at length, the lethal capabilities of an automated car wash. Our conclusion: It’s probably not a great idea to walk into one of these things. (Feat. Special Guestpert: MC Bat Commander!)Suggested talking points: Energy Circle, Nothing Compares to Corn, Car Wash Survival, The EMT Store, Pigeons are Phones, Cake for Life, A New Large Bird, Zoom Vaping

At some point in all our lives, it’s happened to all of us: You’re enjoying a nice grind, but gosh! Where are you supposed to put your pocket-based belongings? Introducing: Grutler. (TM TM TM.)Suggested talking points: A Sampler Platter of Failed Introductions, The Music of the City, The American Fanny, Ice Cream Transgressions, Grandmummy

Hey, this is a weird one! For one thing, it’s a live show, which is a strange thing to listen to. For another thing, it’s a selection of bits from two different performances aboard the JoCo Cruise, so it’s a little patchwork-y and disjointed. We’ll be back with a regular ep next week!

If we’re gonna make it through this things, we’re gonna have to find genuine soul connections using Digital. And sometimes, we find Digital in the strangest of places, when we’re least expecting it. Suggested talking point: An Important Digital Communication, Delivery Heroism, Prankin’ Apple, Tooth Fairy Substitutions, Extremely Dirty Dancing, Mystery Squirt

Okay, we know we just had a non-standard 500th episode celebration, but as luck would have it, THIS episode also marks 10 years of us in the podcastin’ business. So, yes, Justin sings the song again. (Also, we’ve got new art, courtesy of the very talented Sarah McKay!)Suggested talking points: ZOLO Memories, Feline Sex Den, American Hero Horn, Play Along At Home (Sorry),Teleconference Mirror World, Healing and Growth Squad

In today’s episode, we set a new record for Lack of Commitment to an Opening Bit — a record whose previous holders include … let’s see here … oh, it’s us! The list just says us, like, fifty times.Suggested talking points: Hot Gin, Sonic’s Sacrifice, Timesheet Secrets, Bathroom Investigations, Goldfish Punishment, Large Old Pizza News, Titanic Kaiju

This isn't an episode of MBMBaM, but hey! Every living human being on Earth is talking about this game, so we decided to toss our Besties discussion here on the MBMBaM feed! (Don't fret -- this isn't taking the place of a MBMBaM; it's back Monday!)The Besties is a gaming podcast featuring Justin, Griffin, and Polygon co-founders Chris Plante and Russ Frushtick. We've been doing the show for a while, but only recently relaunched as a Spotify Original! You can follow the show for free at Besties.fan.

In which we find a hero in these trying times: A hero with a cybernetic, socially-conscious snake and a land speed rivaling a mid-2010s Toyota Corolla.Suggested talking points: Look to Britney, Porch-Stable Food, Angel Babysitter, In My Lungs, Unfortunate Grocery Replacements, Burritoing with Gronk, Duck Interpreter

Listen, y’all. There’s only one way that we’re getting through this thing, and I think we all know exactly what way I’m talking about. It is imperative, now more than ever, that we get Richard Gere to be a top-tier YouTuber.Suggested talking points: What’s Funny?!, Lying Ants, Snip Tunes, Roughhousing, Netflix Prophecies, Liminal Chalupa

(Note: This was going to be our kick-off episode for the MaxFunDrive, which has been postponed. We've cut most of the drive-talk out of the episode -- hence the shorter-than-usual runtime and occasional pauses. Hang in there, y'all.)Join us as we open up the My Brother, My Brother and Me book to a brand new chapter; one celebrating lifestyle brand innovations and, well, cool orbs. Suggested talking points: Gotta Touch These Orbs, Justin Clears His Conscience, The Last Beheading Day, Ancient Grains Ready to Rip, Please Don’t Tell Pigeons About Farms, Snack’n Bac’n

We’re currently sailing the high seas, searching for adventure on that big blue horizon. So, while we do that, here’s a live show we recently did in Cincinnati. (Griffin's doing fine, by the way. You'll understand why you might want that update a few minutes into the episode.)

So, before setting any expectations based on the title of the episode, know this: Ten years later, our bodies respond to spaghetti-loading SUPER differently. We all recorded this one together, and mostly spent it talking to our various family members, but also there are two impromptu musical numbers and a fierce competition of athletic prowess, so, yeah. Thank you all so much for sharing this past decade with us. You’ve changed our lives irrevocably, and there’s no way we’ll be able to repay that kindness in our lifetimes, so instead, we just ate a bunch of pasta and recorded it for you.

THIS IS A NORMAL EPISODE. Please do not come into this one thinking we’re doing some kind of pre-500 celebration, or something. It’s NORMAL. There is NOTHING that sets it apart from all the other episodes. OKAY?Suggested talking points: No Ramp Up, Soda Bag, Paul’s Finest Grape Cake, Bee Purple, Fall Off The Bone Love, Halftime Korn, Poker Griefing

The energy in this one … is difficult to describe. Was it a result of us recording back-to-back episodes during a busy pre-travel prep session? Yes. Was it also the result of a soft and extremely haunted homunculus that now dwells with — and within — Justin? Definitely, yes, for sure.Suggested talking points: Slim Leads, Nutzack, Buzz’s Space Car, Bum Bum, Stink Sniper, Average Erotic Wine Stopper, Living Pinecones

We’ve officially polished all the rough edges out of this weekly entertainment product that we’ve been making for like 10 calendar years. We’re nearly ready to enter our Closed Beta phase, which basically means we’ve stopped talking about bidets so much.Suggested talking points: Relatable Content, Accidental Lunch Thief, Perfect Farmwear, Animal Trivia, Nude Changeover, Val Kilmer’s Kickass Bat Wine, Genuine Sports Humor, Do Not Go In There

Listen folks, because this is the last time we’re gonna say this: Hyenas go in the Hyena Hole. Please, PLEASE stop putting non-hyena things into the Hyena Hole. You’re disrupting the whole circle of life, and also, you’re REALLY riling up all the hyenas.Suggested talking points: Earnest Hogback, The Masked Listener, Pie Perversion, The Saltiest Chili, Football Twins, Part of Zoo.

You’re gonna have some questions after the new segment in today’s episode. Only one man has the answers. His name is Travis, and also when we said he has the answers, that’s actually not gonna be true a lot of the time. Suggested talking points: Laughter and Love Challenge, Cole Slaw Juice, Brutalist Cup Design, Pizza Box Repair, Travis Takes a Big Swing at a New Bit, RIP Nut, Sky Pipes

We’re still on hiatus while Travis celebrates the miracle of life, but we’ll be back with a proper new episode next week! In the meantime, please enjoy another of our live performances at the King’s Theater in Brooklyn!

Travis and Teresa have CREATED NEW LIFE, so we’re taking this week off to celebrate. In lieu of a regular episode, please enjoy our recent romp in our nation’s capital!!

It has arrived. Our annual opportunity to place a steady hand upon the rudder of the new year is here, and boy howdy, it’s a big one. Twenty-Twenty?! It’s the same thing twice! Is that anything? Please? We’re spiraling. Suggested talking points: Down to Beesness, Tenure at Cool University, Lunch Smell, Faded at Spangles

Happy Candlenights my friends! It's time once more for our annual Huntington pilgrimage! Enjoy! Suggested Talking Points: It's Candlenights!

What is … flavor? What defines the essence of an object’s true, unambiguous taste? Is flavor, perhaps, in the tongue of the food-haver? Also, mind if we sprinkle a little bit of dirt on this lasagna? Suggested talking points: Log Recommendations, A Whole Nut?, That One’s Spice, The Bad Boy of Sudoku, Mike’s Secret Milkshake, Potions and Chili, Cool Whip Mysteries

Well, it finally happened. We got bit by the Broadway bug. Time to raise our anchors and set sail toward the warm, inviting waters of professional musical theater. Don’t try and change our minds — we have become Daddy Warbucks, and Daddy Warbucks don’t podcast. Suggested talking points: Broadway Babies, Drinking Horn, Laserking, Fakin’ It, Pocket Watch Counterweight, Hats off to Christmas, A Good 9 and a Half, Peanuts on the Floor

We want you to come inside of our home — the one we all actually share together — to meet our new, government-mandated bird friends. Sure, the audio quality of this show is gonna take a dive, but when you see their horrible, shriveled faces, it’s still absolutely not going to be worth it.Suggested talking points: Turkey House, Open the Glottis, Justin’s Cooking Class, Neutral Gifts, Bush Squirrel, Thanksgiving Pizza, A Lengthy Discussion of Butch.

Step inside the mind of the mind-reader himself (who is Frasier) as we pitch our bold new vision for Frasier. In this one, Frasier’s getting nasty, and we’re not willing to negotiate on that point, so don’t bother asking. Suggested talking points: Guiding Lights, Donuts with Morrie, Frasier’s World, Reach for the Stars, Fumanji Jizz Mist, Eight Words a Day, A Call from the Dogman

Hello! We’ve safely returned from the concluding show of the Become the Monster tour. We are weary, but we also didn’t want to put up another live episode, so we like … just recorded a new one. It’s wild, we think. It was all a blur. Comin’ in hot! Suggested talking points: Magic Al the Fleshmancer, Working Less, Two-Timing Dog, Day One Costume, Flamin’ Ice Cream, Nude Rider, Intermediary Brothers

It happened. Well, a few things happened. One, we did a show in Orlando to make up for the time we had to cancel a show earlier this year. Two, in said show, Justin finally crossed the streams of his two wildly popular segments. Three, capitalism got the shot in the arm it’s needed for some time now. You’re welcome, everyone!

In which we realize the scope of our commitment in promising to send a horse to college, and then determine an extremely powerful and highly lucrative name for the aforementioned horse. Suggested talking points: Halloween Delay, Candy Potluck, Happy Birthday Ronald, Medicine Blintz, We’re Sending a Horse to College, Ding Dong Speed Strats, Car Expertise

We’re taking a sick week and tossing up another live show from our most recent tour: Our maiden voyage to the good city Philadelphia. Unfortunately, we left that city worse off than we found it -- which is to say, covered in Beemen. We assume we will not be invited back.

Enjoy our most recent show from the gorgeous Kings Theater in Brooklyn, complete with a musical introduction from Lin and a cameo appearance by a guy who we are like — for real now — about 81 percent certain was Matt Doyle.

Look, the title ain’t lying, and you’d have no way of proving it if it were. One of us has seen every bird, full stop. We’re the new high score on the birdwatcher leaderboard, and who’s gonna argue against that? The birds? Probably not the birds. Suggested talking points: Spookily, Raccoon Trash Strats (feat. John Hodgman), Dickbilled Priebus, Freakied and Fridayed, Ammunition for the Soda Wars

There’s only one surprisingly proportioned beef sandwich capable of stitching up the wide wounds carved across human civilization; and we’re the ones to invent it. (Not cook it, mind you. Good lord, we cannot fathom how to go about cooking Longburger. God, the logistics are dizzying.) Suggested talking points: Mars 2113, Moon Germany, Oops All Croutons!, Great Sturg’ Spots, Haunted House Acting, Morgue Benefits, The Longburger

This live show, from our recent tour stop in Pittsburgh, will probably go down in history as “the one where we unknowingly distributed 100 KFC Doughnut Chicken Sandwiches to our audience, who, for some reason did not instantly turn against us.” We like to think of it … well, we don’t like to think of it. We did an unconscionable thing to you, our dear, dear listeners.

Who’s lookin’ to get sticky sticky sticky in the hot hot sun? Come on down to Spriteland and get WILD with all your carbonated buds! We got lazy rivers just chock-full of this clear stuff, and boy, the bees are just, really y’all, it’s really … there’s a lot of bees. Suggested talking points: The Coldest Chili, Adult Trampoline Center, Sticky Amusement Park, Pizz-It!, Thanks Alexa, Fun Food for Fun Guys

If you open yourself up to it, love can find you in the strangest of places. In the meat aging attic. In Crash Bandicoot’s loaded back pocket. Or, in an unassuming serving of customizable, hastily baked authentic Italian pasta. Come, have a bowl. Reconnect. Suggested talking points: Old Beef Jokes, Sporf, Damien Adultduck, The Raw Voice, Brown Sonic, Veggie Extravaganza, Tom Orrow, The Inside of Superman’s Mouth and Butt

We’re returning from a big, wild family vacation, and so we present to you our big, wild live show from Atlanta! We performed it last weekend, back when we were SO jacked up on Coca-Cola that a beam of brown, carbonated energy shot out of our chest and blew a hole in the ceiling. You probably read about it in the newspapers.

For millennia, mankind has searched for what could be universally considered the worst, yuckiest, most profane, most inscrutable condiment to ever exist, or ever would exist, forever and ever. We’re pleased to announce: The search is over. Suggested talking points: Joker Watch, Pennysweets, Flesh Bottle, A New Possum Kingdom, Briefcase Use Case, Hummus Smuggler