Mind the Gap

Sometimes the most intelligent thing in the room is the thing left unsaid. We had a friend called Bob. When someone was being foolish — not malicious, just foolish — Bob wouldn't argue, correct, or sigh. He would go quiet. And in that quiet, the person speaking would hear themselves. Really hear themselves. Be more Bob. In this season finale of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores silence not as an absence but as one of the most powerful tools available to anyone who leads, communicates, or shares a room with others. The silence of restraint — the reply you don't send, the correction you swallow — is the gap between stimulus and response, finally being practised rather than just described. The silence of generosity — stepping back so someone else can step forward — is one of the most demanding things a leader can do. Eighty-one episodes. All of them words. This one is about what the words were always surrounding. Season 4 ends here. Back in June, with a new season and a different set of questions. #MindTheGap #Silence #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Communication #Podcast #PersonalDevelopment #SelfAwareness #IrishPodcast #BeMoreBob

There’s a railway station in Ireland that exists for one purpose only, not to arrive, not to stay, but to move on. In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores a moment that many of us recognise but rarely name. The point at which learning has done its job. The point at which guidance, coaching, or even a philosophy has taken us as far as it can. Drawing on the teachings of Epictetus and decades of experience in coaching and leadership development, this episode examines the subtle differences between growth and comfort, loyalty and dependency, and staying because it helps… and staying because it feels safe. It’s a reflection for anyone who has ever asked: Am I still growing here, or am I just comfortable? As Season 4 approaches its close, this episode also marks a quiet shift in direction for the podcast, moving beyond its Stoic foundations while keeping the core question at its heart, the gap between intention and action. In this episode: Why the best students eventually leaveThe hidden risk of staying too long in coaching or mentorshipThe difference between support and dependencyWhat Epictetus really expected of his studentsRecognising when the work is complete Closing reflection: Who would you be, and what would you do, if you trusted that you’d already learned what you came to learn? Follow Mind the Gap to stay connected as we move toward the final episode of Season 4 next week.

We’ve all met them. The person who can hold the floor without drawing breath. The one who doesn’t quite notice when someone else is trying to speak. The conversation that somehow becomes… one-sided. In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn takes a thoughtful and quietly humorous look at what it really means to be “a bore.” Taking inspiration from a line in Dancing Queen by ABBA, “I’m nothing special… in fact, I’m a bit of a bore,” this episode moves beyond the joke to explore something more revealing. Because being a bore isn’t just about talking too much. It’s about awareness. Or the lack of it. It’s about what happens when conversation stops being a shared experience and becomes something more like a performance, with an audience that never quite agreed to be there. But rather than pointing outward, this episode turns the lens gently back on ourselves. Where do we miss the cues? Where do we hold the floor a little too long? And what does it take to bring a conversation back into balance? This also marks the 80th episode of Mind the Gap since the podcast began. A small milestone, and perhaps a fitting moment to reflect on something so central to the series itself, how we connect, how we listen, and how easily we can miss what’s right in front of us. There’s humour here, certainly. A moment of social theatre you may recognise. But there’s also something more useful underneath it. A reminder that good conversation isn’t about saying more. It’s about noticing more. In this episode: Why being “a bore” has less to do with talking, and more to do with awarenessThe subtle signals we miss in everyday conversationHow one-sided dialogue quietly erodes connectionPractical ways to rebalance conversations without confrontationA simple question to carry into your next interaction If you enjoy Mind the Gap, follow or subscribe and share the episode with someone who values thoughtful conversation. Michael’s books are also available on Amazon.

You walk into a café. The coffee is perfect. The service is efficient. And not once does anyone look at you. This episode starts with that small absence — and follows it somewhere unexpected. Through the emotional labour of public-facing work, the quiet logic of the screen, and the generational shift in what an interaction is even supposed to contain. Eye contact is not a nicety. It never was. And its disappearance says something about all of us — not just the people behind the counter. Mind the Gap with Michael Comyn.

Before offering advice, ask a quieter question “You know what you should do.” Five familiar words, usually offered with kindness, sometimes with genuine care. Yet when we hear them, something small inside us can quietly deflate. In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn reflects on the hidden tension inside unsolicited advice. When someone brings us a problem, are they really asking for a solution, or are they asking to be heard? Drawing on his experience as a coach and communicator, Michael explores the difference between fixing and listening, and why the urge to solve someone else’s difficulty may sometimes be about easing our own discomfort. Before the advice arrives, there may be a better question to ask. What does this person actually need from me right now?

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores a quiet but uncomfortable question. Is it acceptable to feel content while the world around us seems unsettled? With images of war, political unrest, and global tension constantly appearing in our news feeds, many people feel a subtle sense of guilt when moments of calm arise in their own lives. Does feeling steady mean we are disengaged? Or is contentment something else entirely? Drawing on the research of positive psychology pioneer Barbara Fredrickson and insights from Stoic philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Cleanthes, Michael reflects on how the human nervous system responds to uncertainty and why chronic agitation rarely produces wisdom or compassion. The episode also introduces a practical idea drawn from resilience research: creating moments of certainty when life feels unstable. Small routines, rituals, and predictable anchors can help restore psychological balance and allow clearer thinking when resilience is low. Along the way, Michael reflects on his own experience in broadcasting, where the simple certainty of announcing the time once helped bring order and structure to the rhythm of the day. This is not an episode about ignoring the world’s suffering. It is about understanding the difference between indifference and steadiness, and recognising that emotional regulation may be one of the most responsible ways we can show up for the people around us. In this episode: • Why contentment is often misunderstood • The Broaden and Build Theory of positive emotions • Stoic insights into control, acceptance, and emotional steadiness • Viktor Frankl on the space between stimulus and response • How creating small “moments of certainty” can restore resilience • The ripple effect of emotional tone in leadership and daily life Michael Comyn is an executive coach, broadcaster, and host of the Mind the Gap podcast, where philosophy, psychology, and emotional intelligence meet everyday experience. If you enjoy the podcast, you can also explore Michael’s books available on Amazon, where many of these ideas are developed further.

In 1954, Smile became an anthem of quiet endurance. The melody was written by Charlie Chaplin for the closing scene of Modern Times, with lyrics later added by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons. Recorded memorably by Nat King Cole, the song urges us to smile though the heart is breaking, to keep trying, to believe life is still worthwhile. But what does that really mean in professional life? In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores the concept of emotional labour, first described by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in The Managed Heart. He unpacks the difference between shallow acting, where we fake the emotion, and deep acting, where we attempt to align our internal state with what the moment requires. This conversation includes: • A personal reflection on delivering a training programme during a week of grief • The emotional demands placed on nurses, doctors and leaders who must hold steady for others • Why acting is not necessarily dishonesty • The hidden cost of always being composed • How emotional intelligence helps us protect ourselves while still serving others Acting, Michael suggests, is not automatically false. Sometimes it is disciplined self-care. Sometimes it is leadership. The real question is whether we know the difference and how to recover afterwards. If you would like to explore these themes further, Michael’s books Mind the Gap and The Next Station Is… are available on Amazon. Thank you for listening.

Mind the Age Gap | Retirement Age, Identity and the Psychology of Ageing What does retirement age really mean in modern life? In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores the idea of the “age gap” — the gap between chronological age and how we actually experience ourselves. The reflection begins with a moment in a bank: an older couple being gently coached through online banking. They were not confused. They looked displaced. That observation opens a wider discussion about ageing, identity, and the subtle ways institutions categorise people after 65. Retirement age began as a 19th-century pension policy in Germany. Over time, it evolved into a powerful cultural label. Today, that label influences marketing, workplace perceptions, digital design, and even the tone of television advertising. In this episode, Michael explores: • The history of retirement age and its origins in public policy • The psychology of subjective age and why most adults over 60 feel younger than their years • The impact of marketing stereotypes, including the Werther’s Original “grandfather” campaign • Why certain UK television channels seem dominated by funeral and cremation advertising • The cultural reality that people now in their seventies once danced to The Rolling Stones • Why ageing is not the issue, dismissal is This episode blends psychology, leadership insight, cultural observation, and personal reflection to ask a simple question: Is the real gap between 50 and 65 — or between vitality and resignation? If you’ve ever felt younger than your demographic category, or sensed the system quietly repositioning you, this conversation will resonate. https://amzn.eu/d/irNfaHO

This week, during a leadership course, a participant shared a line from her father that stopped the room: “Whatever the mistake, it’s the lie afterwards that hurts more.” In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael explores why that simple sentence holds up across high-trust professions and high-pressure environments. From medical errors in hospital settings to cockpit decision-making in aviation, from financial oversight to corporate governance, the issue is rarely the original human error. The more serious damage often comes from concealment. This episode examines: • The difference between human error and reckless behaviour • What Just Culture really means in healthcare and aviation • Why psychological safety determines whether truth surfaces early • How fear of punishment drives cover-ups • Why timely honesty strengthens trust rather than weakens it Drawing on insights from leadership coaching, aviation training and emotional intelligence, Michael reflects on why cultures collapse not because people are imperfect, but because people feel unsafe admitting imperfection. If you lead a team, work in a regulated profession, or simply care about integrity in relationships, this episode asks a direct question: Do people around you believe they can survive being wrong? About Mind the Gap Mind the Gap is a leadership and emotional intelligence podcast hosted by Michael Comyn, broadcaster, author and executive coach. Each episode explores the space between intention and impact, and the small decisions that shape trust, culture and character. Michael’s books Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is… and Between the Lines are available on Amazon. Follow the podcast for weekly reflections on leadership, communication and the psychology behind how we show up.

Here’s the thing. Most of us spend our lives editing ourselves in real time. Softening opinions. Swallowing reactions. Running everything through an internal risk assessment before it ever reaches our mouth. And then, occasionally, we meet someone who doesn’t do that. This episode was sparked by conversations with people on the autism spectrum, and by watching The Assembly. What struck me wasn’t shock value or bluntness for its own sake. It was the relief. The calm. The honesty of hearing what someone actually thinks, without the usual social varnish. So this isn’t an argument for saying everything that pops into your head. That’s not wisdom, that’s impulse. What this really explores is something subtler. Which filters serve kindness? Which filters serve fear? Which filters are about protecting a persona? And which filters help us stay aligned with who we actually are? We talk about non-standard communication, what it teaches us about clarity and presence, and why “social polish” can sometimes drift into quiet self-betrayal. We also look at the cost of constant self-monitoring, the exhaustion of performing, and the freedom that comes from choosing fewer, better filters rather than none at all. This is a reflective episode. No Stoic lectures. No tidy conclusions. Just an invitation to notice where you’re editing yourself unnecessarily, and what might happen if you eased off, just a little.

How do people really heal? Not through dramatic breakthroughs, but through small, ordinary moments. In this episode, Michael Comyn reflects on personal recovery from a recent experience of gossip and intrusion, and explores how humans heal through connection, routine, purpose, and everyday emotional intelligence. A gentle, optimistic reflection on resilience, wellbeing, and the quiet work of becoming a little quicker to mend.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn returns to Stoic philosophy to address how Stoicism is being simplified and misused in some online spaces, particularly where grievance, emotional shutdown, and contempt are mistaken for strength. Drawing on the original teachings of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca, and Musonius Rufus, Michael reclaims Stoicism as a philosophy of self-governance, responsibility, and shared humanity, not dominance or detachment. This episode is a clarification, a return to source, and a challenge to examine whether the philosophy we claim to follow is shaping character or simply justifying anger. Michael’s books Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is…, and Between the Lines are available on Amazon. Follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share the episode if it resonates.

Why do so many people feel exhausted even when nothing obvious is wrong? In this opening episode of Season 4 of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores what it means to live in permanent alert mode, a state of constant urgency driven by 24-hour news cycles, notifications, and global uncertainty. This episode looks at how the human nervous system reacts to modern life, why being informed is not the same as being emotionally overloaded, and how chronic low-grade stress quietly shapes our thinking, relationships, and leadership. Drawing on emotional intelligence, psychology, and neuroscience, Michael reflects on why we feel wired but tired, why reactivity has become the norm, and how to pause between stimulus and response in a world that never switches off. The episode references insights from Daniel Goleman on emotional reactivity, Viktor Frankl on choice and response, and Robert Kegan on our ability to live with uncertainty. If you feel tense, overwhelmed, or permanently on edge, this episode offers reassurance, perspective, and practical ways to regain calm without disengaging from the world. In this episode Why constant urgency exhausts the nervous systemHow news and notifications trigger stress responsesThe difference between being informed and being emotionally inflamedWhy reactivity feels normal but costs us clarityA simple emotional intelligence pause practiceWhy calm is a form of discernment, not indifference Mind the Gap is a podcast by Michael Comyn exploring emotional intelligence, psychology, and modern life with clarity, warmth, and practical insight. New episodes are released regularly.

In this special December episode of Mind the Gap, Michael reflects on the emotional landscape of the holiday season. For many, December is joyful and full of celebration. For others, it carries sadness, memory, and the quiet ache of missing someone who was here last year but is not here this year. Both experiences deserve space. Through the simple ritual of putting up and taking down decorations, Michael explores the silence that appears in early January, a silence that offers honesty, clarity, and a gentle emotional reset for the year ahead. Drawing on insights from emotional intelligence and Stoic reflection, this episode invites listeners to notice what the year has taught them and to choose what they will carry into 2026. As Mind the Gap reaches seventy episodes, this reflection brings the current season to a close. The podcast returns in early 2026 with a refreshed Season Four, focusing on everyday psychology, emotional intelligence, and the meaning found in the small, unnoticed moments of daily life. Books by Michael Comyn: Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is, and Between the Lines, available on Amazon.ie. The Mind the Gap audiobook is available on Audible. https://amzn.eu/d/2Ma0P1U

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael reflects on a small moment in a bank queue that reveals a much larger shift in how we connect. As more organisations encourage us to use apps and digital services instead of speaking to real people, something subtle is happening beneath the surface. Drawing on recent research from almost seventeen thousand young adults, a global dataset of twenty-eight thousand people across one hundred and sixty-six countries, and long-term trends in emotional intelligence studies, Michael explores what experts are now calling an emotional recession. The conversation looks at how declining everyday interactions weaken the emotional skills we rely on for empathy, patience, and presence. Stoic ideas from Musonius Rufus and Cleanthes help frame the episode, reminding us that character is shaped in community and that emotional intelligence is learned through contact with others. This episode asks an important question. What happens when convenience replaces connection, and how do we protect the emotional muscles that only grow through real human interaction? Books by Michael Comyn, Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is, and Between the Lines, are available on Amazon.ie. https://amzn.eu/d/hNBGotF

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael explores how the stories others place on us can quietly shape the direction of our lives. A simple comment, a casual label, or a reputation formed years ago can become a route we follow without ever stopping to question whether it was ours to begin with. Using the quiet landscape of Limerick Junction as a metaphor for moments of choice, Michael reflects on how emotional intelligence and Stoic thought can help us pause, reconsider our direction, and choose a story that truly fits who we are today. If you would like to explore these ideas further, Michael’s three books, Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is, and Between the Lines, are available on Amazon. Additionally, Mind the Gap is also available as an audiobook on Audible.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael explores the hidden layers of communication that sit beneath the words we speak. Tone, timing, silence and posture often tell the true story long before language ever arrives. Drawing inspiration from the first chapter of his upcoming book Between the Lines, Michael invites us to notice the subtle signals that shape our conversations and influence our relationships. This episode asks an important question. Are we responding to the words someone uses or to the meaning they are trying to express underneath? When we slow down and listen with curiosity, we become better leaders, better colleagues and better companions. The episode is part of the journey toward Michael’s full trilogy of books. • Mind the Gap and The Next Station Is are available on Amazon • Mind the Gap is also on Audible • Between the Lines arrives this December If the podcast resonates with you, follow the series and share it with someone who might enjoy the reflection. Mind yourself, mind each other, and mind the gap.

We’ve all done it — assumed the worst about someone else’s actions. The colleague who doesn’t reply, the driver who cuts across, the friend who forgets. It’s easy to think they meant to hurt or ignore us. But what if most of it isn’t personal at all? This week, Michael Comyn explores Hanlon’s Razor, the simple rule that reminds us not to attribute to malice what can be explained by misunderstanding, distraction, or human error. Drawing on Stoic wisdom, emotional intelligence, and his own experience in live broadcasting, Michael reflects on how quickly we fill in the blanks with blame, and how we can learn to pause instead. Discover how applying this principle can reduce conflict, strengthen relationships, and even soften the way you treat yourself. Most of the time, it’s not about bad intent, but rather imperfect communication.

There is a moment on every journey when the light fades and the world outside disappears. The train slips into a tunnel, and for a few seconds, it feels as if everything has stopped. Yet even in the dark, the train keeps moving. In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn delves into the quiet power of limiting beliefs, those inner convictions that tell us what we cannot do or who we cannot be. Drawing on Stoic philosophy, modern psychology, and emotional intelligence, he examines how these beliefs take hold, how they narrow our vision, and how we can begin to challenge them. From Marcus Aurelius to Daniel Goleman, the message is timeless: we may not control the darkness, but we can control how we see it. The tunnels of the mind are never endless, and the next station is always waiting. 📘 Mind the Gap and The Next Station Is… are both available now, with Mind the Gap also released as an audiobook on Audible.com.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn continues the journey through his book The Next Station Is… — turning from the tickets we carry to the masks we wear. At any given moment, each of us plays a role: the Hero chasing the next challenge, the Caregiver holding everything together, the Ruler keeping control, or the Seeker searching for something just beyond reach. Drawing on Carl Jung’s concept of archetypes, Stoic philosophy, and emotional intelligence, Michael explores how these faces shape our choices — and how they can quietly keep us from stepping off when life offers a new direction. This episode is an invitation to pause, notice the role you’ve been playing, and ask whether another part of you is waiting to take the stage. Themes: – Jungian archetypes and self-awareness – The masks we wear in work and life – Stoic acceptance of the present moment – Balancing energy between giving, leading, and resting – Emotional intelligence in recognising and releasing roles Quote to Remember: “If you wear only one mask, you will miss the stations that require another.” Related Reading: This episode is based on Chapter 2 of Michael Comyn’s book The Next Station Is…, available now in paperback, hardback, and eBook editions on Amazon: 👉 https://amzn.to/478Ru9G