Addicted to Chaos: How Survival Mode Is Destroying Your Money and Relationships
Māori Millionaire Podcast · Te Kahukura Boynton
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Show Notes
If you’ve ever felt calm when life is messy and uneasy when things are finally going well, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we unpack addiction to chaos, one of the most destructive and overlooked patterns shaping our relationships, mental health, and money habits.
Growing up in survival mode wires your nervous system to associate stress with safety. That wiring doesn’t disappear when you start earning more money. It shows up as overspending, retail therapy, self sabotage, chaotic relationships, weed or food as coping mechanisms, and constantly feeling behind financially even when opportunities are there.
This kōrero explores the science behind survival mode, trauma, and nervous system regulation, and how they directly impact your ability to save, plan, and build long term wealth. We talk about why calm can feel uncomfortable, why stability requires responsibility, and why your bank account often reflects how safe you feel in your body.
You’ll hear personal examples of how addiction to chaos played out in my own life, from blowing bonuses to avoiding boundaries, and the evidence based shifts that helped me move from reaction to intention.
This episode covers
• addiction to chaos and survival mode
• trauma and nervous system wiring
• why overspending and retail therapy aren’t self control issues
• how chaotic relationships impact financial decision making
• money mindset vs nervous system regulation
• taking responsibility without denying systemic realities
• practical steps to move from survival to stability
If you want to stop repeating the same financial patterns and start building money from a place of calm, safety, and agency, this episode is a must listen.