Love and Abuse
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert · Paul Colaianni
Show overview
Love and Abuse has been publishing since 2019, and across the 7 years since has built a catalogue of 172 episodes, alongside 1 trailer or bonus episode. That works out to roughly 95 hours of audio in total. Releases follow a fortnightly cadence.
Episodes typically run twenty to thirty-five minutes — most land between 25 min and 41 min — though episode length varies meaningfully from one episode to the next. None of the episodes are flagged explicit by the publisher. It is catalogued as a EN-language Health & Fitness show.
The show is actively publishing — the most recent episode landed 1 weeks ago, with 15 episodes already out so far this year. The busiest year was 2019, with 40 episodes published. Published by Paul Colaianni.
From the publisher
Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of difficult behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse offers the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a psychological game so deep you come out a shell of your former self. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com. https://loveandabuse.com/
Latest Episodes
View all 172 episodesIf you don't draw the line on how much is too much, you won't have a line
How does an abusive person become an abusive person?
Getting conned into taking an unhealed abuser back
Do mutually abusive relationships have a chance?
The superiority complex of misogynists
Ep 167When you won't see an emotionally abusive person change
You can't fix what's unwilling to be fixed. And when someone would rather you and the relationship suffer and crumble than work on improving themselves, you might have only one choice left.
Ep 166Did you sign up for a life of indentured servitude?
If you feel trapped in a maze of emotional manipulation, hoping for a change that never comes, you might realize you've signed up for something you didn't expect and certainly don't want. There's a history lesson in this episode that may give you all you need to know for what the future holds for your relationship.
Ep 165They say they love you but they hurt you anyway
Some people seem to care but then do awful things. When they do, it's hard not to question if they love you at all.
Ep 164I feel like a bad person for being abusive back
Sometimes emotionally abusive people heal and change. Sometimes they just... change. Either way, when the victim of their behavior gets a "break", they might discover a lot of buried emotions that are just itching to come out.
Ep 163The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change
I've seen emotionally abusive people heal and become completely different people. You wouldn't even recognize them! And when you no longer recognize the person who's hurt you over and over again, that might be a very good thing.
Ep 162Do we talk about divorce during the argument or the calm period
When you've decided to leave the emotionally abusive relationship, when is the best time to bring it up? During the storm or the calm?
Ep 161Do I accept that this is how theyll be forever
Some behaviors are unacceptable. Some people are unacceptable. Just what should you accept and what should you do when you can't? Emotional abuse has a tendency to make you feel completely powerless, unable to make such decisions.
Ep 160When its impossible to get away from all the toxic behavior
Some relationships end but continue leaving destruction in their wake. Some don't end and you suffer through the daily drip-feeding of emotionally abusive behaviors until you lose your sanity. When there's no way away from all the toxicity, what can you do?
Ep 159Dont call them what they really are, it will work against you
Calling a duck a duck makes sense. But this logic works against you in the emotionally abusive relationship. Calling out an abusive person for who they are might just turn the whole thing around on you.
Ep 158Total defeat and burnout in the emotionally abusive relationship
Every relationship should have stopping points when you feel yourself slipping away. Emotional abuse operates as a slow drip-feeding of toxic behaviors that gradually erode boundaries.
Ep 157When you are a captive audience to the emotionally abusive monologuer
The endless monologue of some emotionally abusive people is a tactic that keeps you silent and submissive. It's designed to wear you down until you finally give in.
Ep 156Ive stopped being abusive, let's have sex
Some emotionally abusive people do heal. And once they do, they might feel the relationship will be great from that point on. What they don't consider is that the victim of their abusive behavior is only starting their healing process.
Ep 155Don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're the abuser
The emotionally abusive relationship is confusing and draining. If you don't get a grip on what's going on, you may start to believe perhaps you are the problem and they are a saint. Let's fix that faulty thinking.
Ep 154The feelings of guilt and shame after leaving the abusive person
If you've ever questioned how to forgive yourself for choosing your own well-being over an abusive partner, you're not alone. If you're feeling guilt or shame for leaving an abusive person, this is an important episode to listen to.
Ep 153Breaking the trauma bond can be hard as hell
If you find yourself obsessively attached to someone who hurts you, is it a sign of a trauma bond? I'll tackle this challenging subject, shedding light on why you might stay in a relationship despite enduring hurtful behavior and what this could mean for your sense of self-worth and emotional well-being.