Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Finland! It's the wacky Scandi country we all know and love. But whatever you think you know about Finland, throw it out the window like a package of rotten lingonberries. Because the country? It doesn't exist. This week, Beth May stops by Lizard People HQ to educate us all about the secret pact between Japan and the USSR to fish the Baltic Sea restriction free by pretending that there's a country there. Thinks that's crazy? Wait til you hear about Katelyn's grandma!

Beyoncé is art, Solange is an artist. Beyoncé is the sun, Solange is the moon. Beyoncé is… the mommy and Solange is her kid??? There are almost as many conspiracy theories pertaining to Beyoncé as there are for The Jews, prob because people are threatened by a powerful black woman. But Oscar Montoya, gifted actor and truly hilarious comedian, thinks this theory is different...

Geoff Ross has a theory. A theory so explosive, so stunning, and so well researched, that it might just make you freak out so hard you quit modern life completely and go live in the woods and like chop wood or whatever. Geoff thinks that the state of technological innovation in this country is at least 30 years ahead of what we really think it is, and a cabal of government and private industry players is keeping it from us for their own creepy purposes. It's nuts!!!

Hunky action star meets starlet on the rise. Romantic photo ops are closely followed by a whoopsie baby and a way too extra engagement story. Then there's something about a purification course and a silent birth and Oprah's couch gets ruined? That's right honeys, we're talking about the historic romance of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise! Because while it might seem like just another quickie Hollywood marriage/divorce/falling in love with Jamie Foxx, there might be a whole Scientology conspiracy going o

Andy Kneis is back, and he's been watching the YouTubes! This week we tackle the controversial experiments of a Russian YouTuber who has allegedly created a real life homunculus. What's a homunculus? So glad you asked!! It's the process of generating spontaneous life by putting human sperm in an artificial womb. The little guys that are created by sliming into cows tummies and chicken eggs are called homunculi, and they are almost definitely not real.

Kelly Nugent is a podcast host (Teen Creeps, Hellmouthy), a nerd stuff afficionado (tabletop, Twitch) and a very funny person. But DID YOU KNOW that she is also one of the few people in the world who knows the truth about CERN?

You might know Michael Jordan from the timeless film Space Jam, his hilarious Hanes commercials, or from playing hella good basketball. But if you're part of a select group, you might remember Michael Jordan from the high stakes world of sports gambling. That's right, ol 'Air' Jordan had a gambling problem.

What if (and hear us out here) all those Y2K hysterics and Mayan calendar makers and apocalypse-predicting conspiracy theorists were right all along? What if 2000 (or 2001 or 2012) actually were the end of the world? What if all this bummer shit that's happened since was like totally foreseen by Nostradamus? Grant Pardee has a theory that just might set the world ablaze.

Bitcoin is one of the great mysteries of the internet age. Who exactly created it? Where is it going? How did it blow up so fast? What the fudge is a blockchain and why don't I have one? The delightful Sam Balter (of the equally delightful podcast Weird Work) joins to talk about cryptocurrency and the possibility that the OG cryptic coin was created by - get this - a artificial intelligence. Yes, Sam thinks that a true AI lurks inside the internet like some sort of Smaug, but with bandwidth instead of gol

Lyme disease blows. It hurts, its scary, it comes from a rude ass bug sucking on your blood. But could it be more than that? Could it be… a government superweapon accidentally leaked into the population from a creepy Nazi lab in Connecticut! Alie Ward, preternaturally charming podcast host, dares to ask the big questions! We talk about bug facts, scary science, how human cells work, the cutest types of bacteria, and terrifying swimming deer.

Ah, the enigmatic Elon Musk. Inventor, businessman, stunt-puller… alien? There's a theory floating around the internet that Elon is not what he seems - that he may in fact be a higher being from another world who's infiltrated our own to bring us technology beyond our wildest dreams. But is he doing this because he's a nice guy? Or because he enjoys playing god? Or is he just a regular nerd with grandiose ideas and a head for business?

Every morning, unmarked planes take off from McCarran International Airport, bound for Air Forces bases all around Nevada. Every evening they return. Where do they go in between? Winston Carter knows where. The mysterious planes, the lights in the sky above Area 51, the long complex history of the Cold War space race - all these things come together in a conspiracy theory so original, it will blow your freakin mind.

What's the moon's deal, honestly? We're supposed to believe it just floats up there effecting the tides and whatnot? Yeah right. Our guest this week - the extremely funny and opinionated Matt McCarthy - knows the shocking truth about what the moon is really doing up there, and it ain't just floating. No, Matt is convinced that the moon is hollow, it's full of aliens and gadgets, and we're all DUMB SHEEPLE for thinking otherwise.

'Just swipe your cheek and spit into a jar and we'll tell you all about your ancestors' they said. 'We'll sequence your DNA, it'll be fun' they said. But what aren't ~they~ telling you??? The extremely talented and funny writer/performer/producer Dani Rosenberg stopped by to educate us all about what sites like Ancestry.com and 23AndMe are really doing with all that DNA. Guess what? It might be nefarious!!!

The earth is flat. This is a fallacy believed by human beings throughout time, and without reason. And yet for all the things that make no goddamn sense about flat Earth theory, people persist in insisting that it is a disc, that gravity is fake, and that the moon and sun for sure don't work like you think they do. People like this week's guest, very funny comedian and open minded man Ben Dietzel.

Stalin. Putin. Saddam Hussein. Melania Trump. What do these three public figures have in common? They're all rumored to use body doubles! The controversy over Melania's possible impersonators started in October of 2017 with video of her looking weird and plastic-y at a press converence, and it's been bubbling ever since. And our guest, podcaster and feminist and truly brilliant writer/director Lindsay Stidham, is convinced that Melania employs one or more body doubles to serve in her place.

Sometimes Lizard People can be pretty wacky. But sometimes we just want to settle down, chill out, and talk about what really separates quantum mechanics from religion when you get right down to it. Michael Gardner stopped by LP HQ to discuss parallel universe theory, and how it relates to the Mandela Effect and the Berenstein/Berenstain Bears debate.

Who shot JFK? If you think it was Lee Harvey Oswald, the dude hiding in a book dispensary with a big ass rifle, you truly are a chump. This week we address the conspiracy theory that president John F Kennedy's killers were, in fact, a buncha wiseguys!!! That's right, Mary Sasson (wildly talented comedian and writer) believes that the mafia did it.

What blends true crime, paranormal activity, the Great Depression, adultery, murder, Hollywood glamour, and unsolvable mystical mysteries? What's that you say? You already read the episode title and you know we're talking about the Cecil Hotel? That was smart. The Cecil Hotel was built in 1924 in downtown Los Angeles and it quickly got a reputation for being spooky as all hell. The building has been home to an outrageous number of suicides, murders, and just plain messed up goings on...

Lorraine DeGraffenreidt stopped by to present all the evidence for the Simpsons in fact being an African-American family. Sound crazy? Just you wait.

Heating and air conditioning! They're the humble inventions that make modern life possible. But do you ever walk past your wall unit and think 'does it really need to be that complicated?' Bryan Rainstein does. The comedian, cartoonist, and all around angel stopped by Lizard HQ to discuss his many brushes with the nefarious HVAC industry, and his theory that we may all be the victims of the biggest con in history.

What if, like, Satan is just in your mind, man? And like, all the popes are a bunch of pagan priests or whatever? The extremely thoughtful and talented Ariana Lenarsky joins us this week to discuss these groovy and far out questions, as well as to address the conspiracy theory that the Catholic Church is based in pagan idolatrous Satan worship.

Some people say that jesus was celibate his whole life. People like, oh, The Pope. Ever heard of him? But there is some extremely intriguing evidence that Rabbi Yeshua of Nazareth was actually married, and his wife was none other than notorious foot washer Mary Magdalene. Our guest this week is the unbelievably funny comedian and actor Pam Murphy, and she has some pretty controversial opinions about Jesus, Mary, Judas, and all those freaky disciples. Listen in, religion fans!

In 1933 Franklin Delano Roosevelt so infuriated the robber barons and business elite with his progressive socialist plans, they plotted to overthrow the government and install a fascist dictatorship. Sound far-fetched? Oh honey, is this episode gonna blow your mind. Our guest AJ Salas has an encyclopedic knowledge of American history and a HOT TAKE on FDR's presidency, and he's here to change how you think of the Great Depression.

In case you need another reason to hate Thanksgiving, we've got an episode that pertains to a whole bunch of Puritan f*ckery. Our guest is writer, actor, and podcaster Erica Bardin, and she's got some pretty crazy ideas about how we got into this whole mess of sexual harassment and workplace inequality in the first place. So crazy… they just might be true. Erica suspects that it all goes back to the trial of Anne Hutchinson, the religious trailblazer, born leader, and extremely dope lady.

The conspiracy theory surrounding the Philadelphia Experiment is the stuff of nightmares. Believers argue that in 1943, in an attempt to speed up the arms race in World War II, the US Navy successfully caused the USS Eldridge to become invisible, teleport, and travel in time - which resulted in the horrifying deaths of several crew members. But also, that probably didn't happen. Or did it?!? Nah. Maybe? Let our illustrious guest, comedian and actor and writer and genius Johnny Meeks, explain.

Everyone knows Mother Teresa. Her name is synonymous with goodness and charity and lepers. But there are darker secrets lurking behind the myth and the sainthood. And if you follow the money, you might start to suspect that something is amiss, just like our guest returning fan favorite Jessica McClintock does. In fact, it may be possible that Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (aka Saint Teresa) had ties to both the USSR and the US government, and that her purpose was never just to serve the poor.

Mix some fan favorite guests with absolutely no research and what do you get? Lizard People's stupidest episode ever. The members of LA improv team Kid Scissors (aka Ben Dietzel, Alexis Preston, and Michael Dean) join the podcast to try to convince Katelyn that ghosts are real. Everyone discusses their own experiences with the paranormal, and we debate whether ghosts obey the laws of physics or not.

Halloween is so scary, y'all. There's ghouls, goblins, and of course the ever-present danger that you'll bite into a harmless apple and get your mouth all goofed up by a razor blade. But where did the urban legend of razor blades in Halloween treats come from, and who could be behind these dastardly deeds? Whatever you think you know about this, throw it out the window. Because Alison Stevenson - stand-up comedian and writer and mega-babe - is here with some red hot truth.

He's been a beloved pop star for decades. He was a child prodigy who also managed to get married three times and create eight beautiful children. He has literally one million hits. He's a vegan. But is Stevland Hardaway Morris really, truly blind? Because it probably won't surprise you to know that there are people online who think Stevie Wonder is a big fake faker. Are they nuts? Or are they the only ones who know the truth?

Y'all ready for a spooky one??? Charlie Mihelich - writer, improviser, and performer - is here with a terrifying tale of the mysterious interruptions that haunt our airwaves. Where do broadcast signal intrusions come from? Who creates them? Why do they exist? How come so many of them are just porn? All these eerie questions and more are addressed in this week's episode. We cover the Max Headroom TV event, the cliche as hell Montana zombies, the Christian Playboy hack, and way more.

A ghost haunts the Star Wars universe. A poltergeist, whose idiot gibbering has tormented fans of the series for decades. His name… is Jar Jar Binks. Pretty much everyone hates the hapless Gungan, and he's been written off as a failed attempt at comic relief from the wacky brain of George Lucas. But what if Jar Jar is more than that? What if he's the dark force behind all the suffering and death of the prequels. What if Jar Jar himself is the Phantom Menace? Our guest this week is the podcaster and musician and extremely talented writer Andy Kneis, and Andy thinks that Jar Jar just might be evil. Nevermind that George Lucas has never planned more than half a movie ahead in any of his scripts ever. He was for sure setting Jar Jar up to be the galaxy's greatest villain of all time. FOR SURE. If you love hearing comedians roast child actors, you'll like this one. Listen up, nerds!

Our guest this week is comedian, podcaster and American hero Matt Rath, and he has a theory that could blow the lid off the whole damn country. Matt knows that the government is deliberately undermining so-called 'conspiracy theorists' in order to make them look ridiculous, so they can carry on with their shady business undisturbed. Think that all UFOlogists are fools? Think again, chump. Also as a bonus, we forced Matt to record this episode in 100-degree heat. See if you can hear the sweat hit the mic

Prepare your ears and gird your loins for possibly the filthiest episode of Lizard People ever. Our guest this week is Julie Brister, a bonafide comedy star with a list of tv credits a mile long and a passion for teaching and directing. But really our guest is 13-year-old Julie, who heard a rumor involving Rod Stewart, an onstage collapse, and eight pounds of human semen. Yeah.

It's one of history's great mysteries. What happened to the Russian hiking party that died under suspicious circumstances in the Siberian wilderness? None of the details line up, from the tent torn open from the inside to the mysterious orbs of light some villagers report seeing in the sky that fateful night. Could it have been the government testing dangerous alien tech? Or could it have been something even… dumber?

Willy and Wade of Real Life Sci-Fi and Katelyn from Lizard People join forces to discuss the conspiracy theories surrounding free energy. Does it exist? Is the government keeping it from us? Is gravity for real? Find out in this crossover episode.

It's part two in our series of 'Ruin Everyone's Childhood' series, and this time a beloved children's movie is on the chopping block! Lots of people have pointed out that it's pretty weird that Willy Wonka was fine with baking and stretching children in the film 'Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory'. But few have dared to make the argument that in fact those children weren't just juiced - they were iced. Heroic podcast producer/comedian and dear friend of the show Rian Kountzhouse stopped by to argue just that. We have a spirited debate about whether Gene Wilder was capable of killing the children, whether the Oompa Loompas are just brainwashed cult members, and of course about the nature of reality. It's a classic episode!

This one goes out to the 90's babies! And also to anyone who's ever wondered if there's a little more to their cartoons than meets the eye. Also people who love sad shit. This week we talk to the hilarious Franklin sisters, hosts of the podcast Trust The (Bachelor) Process and stellar comedians and writers. Sarah and Alex have a little theory about some of your Nickelodeon shows, and baby, it ain't pretty. They believe that Doug, Rugrats, Spongebob Squarepants and Hey Arnold are actually about the ravages of loss and mental illness. Yes, your favorite cartoon kiddos are actual irradiated, depressed, schizophrenic, racist, and just downright old-fashioned grief phantoms. Fun!

Look! Up in the sky! It's a meteor! It's a comet! It's… Tesla's magic death ray gone wild?? Oh do we have a doozy of an episode for you, scouts. America's podcast boyfriend Steven Ray Morris is here, and he's got a fascinating theory about what really caused the Tunguska event. We talk about what might be behind the massive explosion that flattened thousands of acres of Russian forest, which has baffled scientists ever since. And we also cover band names, how much we both love cats, reindeer behavior, stupid asshole jerk Thomas Edison, and beautiful gorgeous nature. Also we straight up ROAST producer Alexis. It's fun!

Whatever happened to history's most famous fly girl?? That question has haunted many a PBS special and Florida retiree. And this week, we delve into the mysterious photo that's re-opened the Earhart cold case and has us all wondering where she went. Our guest Mel Stephens - of the poignant podcast Fear Based Life - walks us through the events of the crash, and the possibilities for what might have happened. Along the way, we also talk drones, military goof-ups, and the fact that Ameelz was the dopest person of the whole 30's. Miss you girl.

Do you like music? Of course you do! And you're gonna love this extremely in depth conversation about George and Katelyn's favorite players in the wonderful world of alt-country (whatever that means!!!) We talk Americana, the Nashville machine, those songs that stop you dead in your tracks and make you cry, the difference between honest and dishonest lyrics, which musicians are the funniest, and somehow we even manage to talk about a conspiracy theory. What theory? Why, that indie country darling Sturgill Simpson is secretly a Navy Seal turned CIA Assassin. Oh and listen all the way through for several bonus original country songs from your new fave musical duo. It's your last chance (for a lil while) to get a Loot Crate for less and to help out Lizard People! Go to LootCrate.com/Lizard and enter our code LIZARD to money and support your buds.

Buckle up buddies because we are about to get POLITICAL. Our guest is the unbelievably funny and brilliant Travis Coles, and he has a theory so bold and shocking that it just might destroy politics and celebrity culture as we know it. He thinks that actor Stacey Dash and surgeon/politician Ben Carson are both robots created by white supremacist neo-cons to undermine black progressives and promote racism. Sound wild? You don't even know the HALF of it. We talk about Hollyweird, DC, racism, Uncle Toms, narcissists, gender neutral bathrooms, and how trill and fun it is to be a progressive. Know who gave us money to make this episode? Loot Crate did. We love 'em. Go to LootCrate.com/Lizard and enter our code LIZARD.

The Eye of Horus. The Pyramid. Bender's shiny metal ass. All these things are powerful Illuminati symbols, designed to brainwash the masses and bring us sheeple peacefully into servitude. Don't believe us? Well we got the RECEIPTS buddy!! In this mini episode, Katelyn explores the Illuminati symbolism within Matt Groening's beloved animated shows. Are Homer and Leela and Fry and Lisa really pawns of the New World Order? Or are internet weirdos just looking for reasons to rewatch the greatest shows ever made. This whole dang episode was sponsored by Loot Crate. How cute! Go to LootCrate.com/Lizard and enter our code LIZARD to save on your box of excellent goodies. This month has Rick and Morty, do it do it do it!!!

Genetically modified organisms. Pesticides. Chemical fertilizers. They're on everything except a dang label. But are these integral parts of agriculture in the modern world? Or are they hot toxic garbage designed to make us sick so that They can benefit??? Unbelievably hilarious podcast host and comedian Jackie Michele Johnson (of Natch Beaut fame) stopped by the Lizards Den to argue that GMOs etc are part of a master plan, and that to feel clean you gotta eat clean. Everyone gets a little passionate about food, but gosh dang it food is important and why shouldn't we??? This episode is brought to you by Loot Crate, a box full of delightful fun. Go to lootcrate.com/lizard and enter code LIZARD!!

One of the great American mysteries of the 20th century began on Christmas Eve of 1945 in West Virginia. West Virginia!! The story of the missing Sodder children has haunted the country ever since, and what might appear to be a simple and depressing case of a house fire might be way more than that. In this ep, the extremely smart Tamar Stevens catches us up on the many possibilities of what might have happened to the tots, from for-profit adoption to Italian fascists to maybe even just like wandering out into the night. And if you get time, you absolutely MUST research what was in that box. This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It's fun! Go to LootCrate.com/Lizard and enter our code LIZARD. Have fun!

JD Salinger's seminal novel Catcher In The Rye has been THE classic teen angst bible for half a century. It's beloved by alienated teens and weird adults alike. But what if the book is more than just the story of an emo little shithead wandering around New York City? What if it's a government tool used to trigger assassins? OR ALTERNATIVELY what if it's just a book written by a madman that appeals to the darkness inside other loonys? OR WHAT IF this whole episode is a pretext for the wonderful Cassi Jerkins to talk about her cats? WHAT IF?!?!?!?!? This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It's fun! Go to LootCrate.com/Lizard and enter our code LIZARD.

Fan fave Dave Child is back! And this time he's tackling one of the great American urban legends - the Mothman himself. This very serious look at West Virginia's favorite cryptid and Richard Gere's least favorite film covers all the possibilities for what the Mothman might really be. Is he an evolutionary throwback? A traveler from another dimension? Or a monster that reappears throughout world mythology - and in another episode of this very podcast? Listen up and decide for yourself, gumshoe! This episode is sponsored by Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Head to MackWeldon.com for all your clothing needs and get 20% off with our lil code LIZARD. Then pop by LootCrate.com/Lizard for some nerdy goodies and enter our promo code LIZARD. Thanks, love you!

Hasn't every little girl dreamed of being a pop star? The fame, the outfits, the chance to goad your best friend into suicide so that you can take over her life and then record some cutesy pop albums. This wicked little conspiracy dates all the way back to 2007, but it's having a resurgence for some reason. And comedian, writer, stripper and podcast host Kasey Koop is here to argue that Avril died and was replaced by her body double right after her second album. We talk about who married Chad Kroeger, the way artists evolve over a lifetime, Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Satan, our teen years, and whether astrology is just total bullshit. This episode is sponsored by our good buddies Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Get your butt over to MackWeldon.com and use the promo code LIZARD for 20% off all their classy underwear, socks, shirts, sweats and swag. Then cruise by LootCrate.com/Lizard and sign up for their cool as hell subscription box using the promo code LIZARD. They're awesome.

We'd like to buy the world a… SHAM?!? There's an unsavory episode in the history of Coca Cola that the biggest soda company in the world would like you to forget about (actually there are a bunch, look it up). But in this case, we're talking about Coke's colossal and expensive 1985 misstep, the introduction of New Coke. The company lost millions of dollars because consumers refused to let them trifle with their beloved bev, and Coke quickly replaced the old formula. But here's the thing. Some people think it wasn't a misstep at all, and the company intentionally took an L so that they could bring back traditional Coke and blow everyone's minds. What madman would be bold enough to argue this theory? WILL HINES THAT'S WHO. The phenomenal comedian, teacher, writer, and actor stopped by to blow all our minds with his wildly well-thought-out theory that Coca Cola planned the whole dang caper. Thanks Will! And thanks to you for listening. Hey and don't forget to patronize our Brand! New! Sponsor! We love Loot Crate and we think you will too, head over to lootcrate.com/lizard and use promo code LIZARD to get your nerd swag.

The loveable lads from Liverpool led a laudable life and left a lasting legacy. But what if there's more to the story than just 'four dudes did good tunes'? What if the story of The Beatles also involved… A CONSPIRACY THEORY??!? The rumour that Paul McCartney died in 69 and was replaced by a lookalike has dogged the mop top crew ever since Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was released, and it endures even unto today. And talented musician and comedian Greg Smith is here to argue that there's more to this theory than meets the eye. We cover music, murder, money, and the real reason Katelyn hates the music of The Beatles. It's a very bad reason.