102 - Toxic Shame and Addiction
Living with Heart: From Birth to Death
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What is Toxic Shame?
- Toxic shame is the rejection of healthy shame.
Healthy shame allows us to recognize and accept our dependence upon others and God as we struggle to live fully in a tragic place.
Every child is “okay” being in need. When we lose our ability to be comfortable needing others, we develop toxic shame.
Ultimately, we become (a)shamed, which means “no healthy shame.”
Addiction grows out of the poisonous ground of toxic shame.
As toxic shame is developing, it begins to disrupt our normal sense of inborn worth.
Every child comes into life with a sense of self-worth. It is a God-given attribute of being created in His image.
Self-worth drives the child to cry out for his/her needs to be met. It drives him/her to have confidence that their craving is good.
Toxic shame occurs when the normal human responses of the child are rejected, neglected, abused, or simply ignored.
Normal human responses are:
- feelings
- needs
- desire
- longings
- hope