Ladies, We Need To Talk

Samhita had it all. As the executive editor of Teen Vogue she was living the Devil Wears Prada life — fashion shows, fancy dinners and towering heels.She was a girlboss. But at the height of her success, cracks began to appear. She was anxious, burnt out and her body was falling apart.But Samhita was at New York Fashion Week in a fur coat and clutching a Gucci handbag, having just put Malala Yousafzai on the cover of her magazine, who was she to complain?After spending a lifetime trying to climb the corporate ladder, she started to wonder whether it was possible, as a woman, to have it all. And if so, was it worth the cost?Samhita sits down with Yumi Stynes to talk about redefining success and happiness.

There's an expectation that couples share a bed, but what if sleep isn't compatible with being in the same room as your other half? Maybe they snore, maybe they starfish, or maybe you just need a few hours without another human touching you.Is a sleep divorce, AKA, having separate bedrooms, the answer?There's a trend towards normalising sleeping separately from your partner. Cameron Diaz is doing it. So are the Beckhams. But does this arrangement spell the end of sex and intimacy? Or does it make for a better night's sleep and a better waking relationship?

Is Ozempic the drug of our lifetime? Since it burst onto the scene it's become synonymous with weight loss, with everyone from A-list celebrities to your next-door neighbour rapidly slimming down.The popularity of the drug and others like it such as Mounjaro and Wegovy, has led to demand outstripping supply, with the price of these medications falling out of reach for some. And along with the cheekbones Ozempic face has unearthed, it's also forcing us to have some uncomfortable conversations around fatness, fatphobia and what it means to be 'healthy'.For some Australian women, it's changed their lives. Others are still grappling with how the world treats their new body.In this episode of Ladies, We Need to Talk, Yumi Stynes finds out what the Ozempic era means for all bodies.

There aren't many people on your Instagram feed who are as loved and as loathed as Abbie Chatfield.Ever since Abbie shot to fame as the slut-shamed villain on The Bachelor Australia in 2019, she's been a public and controversial figure who's hard to look away from.Five years and almost 500K followers later, Abbie's built an empire on sharing her trauma dumps, UTIs, political rants and sexcapades.Abbie's openness has earnt her lots of fans but it's also made her the target of sexist and violent online threats.So how does this former real-estate girly from Brissy manage living a life in the spotlight while staying sane in the real world?

What if your man has another, equally important woman in his life: his mum?For some sons, the aprons strings are tied so tight, it’s impossible to compete with mummy. She’s his number one fan, dotes on him and interferes in his life, including his relationships. It’s not sexy.So, can a mama’s boy ever reform and stand on their own two feet in a relationship? Or will you always come off second best?Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire lay down the law when it comes to being with a mama’s boy. Hint: they must be able to do their own washing.

As we get older, wiser, more resilient, and better placed to back seat drive, the world does not reward us. Or our grey hair.If the advances of human progress can make a potato chip taste like a beef rendang curry, why are women still, after all this time and progress, so judged by the way we look?The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates Australians spend around $1 billion a year on cosmetic procedures. We're talking facelifts, tummy tucks, brow lifts, neck lifts, rhinoplasties, breast implants. And the training bras of plastic surgery, Botox and fillers.So if we're spending so much money on looking young, are we complicit in society's obsession with youth?Women, young and old, tell us their stories of what drew them under the knife (or needle) while dermatologist Dr Ritu Gupta, marketing expert Karen Ferry, make-up artist Linda Jefferyes and beauty editor Cecily-Anna Bennett help to make sense of how we got here.This episode is one of the best from the grand cathedrals of the Ladies, We Need to Talk archives.Note: Karen Ferry is now an Advertising Executive Creative Director, no longer at Leo Burnett.

Aubrey Gordon is a fat woman. She's not on a diet or trying to get thinner and that pisses some people off, but she's done apologising.This self-acceptance has been hard fought. All her life, Aubrey has had to swallow comments about her size from strangers and family alike. Like all of us, she was force-fed the idea that there is only one ideal body: a thin one.Aubrey's resistance started with her blog, Your Fat Friend, where she wrote about what it's like to live in the world as a fat person and dared to suggest that fat people deserve the same rights as everyone else. The blog touched a nerve, giving a voice to people who had been silenced and launched Aubrey’s public career.Aubrey is the co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, which calls bullshit on the so-called wellness industry. Oh, and she has a laugh that fills up the room.Yumi and Aubrey talk about anti-fat bias, online hate and the myth of the perfect body.

You're on a date and there's a spark, the chat is great, the vibes are flowing. But come the time to disrobe, all that potential sexual brilliance comes crashing down. They're a dud root. So what on earth do you do if you've got a connection with someone, but they're not rocking your socks off? How do you have a conversation about what you like, without hurting their feelings? And can you ever turn a jackhammer into a magical orgasm wand? Yumi Stynes and sex therapist Aleks Trkulja get under the sheets and figure out how to communicate your way to the pleasure palace.

The Other Woman. The bit on the side. Side hoe. She's the biggest villain of them all. She's probably younger, hotter and she's left the girl-code far behind, because THAT woman is stealing your man, girl. So, who is 'the other woman' and what's driving her towards married men anyway? In this episode, Yumi sits down with women dating men who are teken and finds out how they navigate their own messy relationships and emotions.

Jill Stark spent most of her life defined by alcohol. Either as a hard-drinking party girl, spurred on by a culture of drinking as a journalist, or as the poster child for sobriety, trapped by a public identity that revolved around abstinence. Yumi and Jill talk about her journey to genuine sobriety on her own terms, and how she has learned who she is without booze. Resources:National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline1800 250 015 Alcoholics Anonymous: https://aa.org.au/1300 222 222 Hello Sunday Morning https://hellosundaymorning.org/Lifeline13 11 14

We’re all about labia love here at Ladies, but it seems that some women are less than enthusiastic about their lower lips. So what’s the real deal on the labiaplasty? Will cosmetic surgery really help restore the labia love to those who just aren’t feeling it? Yumi is here to unpack the problems with our flaps and give us the low-down on the down-there surgery.

Tick, tock, tick, tock... can you hear that? It’s your biological clock and it’s about to blow! For some, deciding whether to have a baby isn’t just about fertility, it’s also about weighing up whether becoming a parent is the path best taken. Never fear, Yumi Stynes has perched herself behind the mic to hold your hand and navigate this tricky time-bomb.

At 31, Jamila Rizvi’s life changed forever. The discovery of a rare brain tumour knocked the ass-kicking, over-achieving media advisor and young mum sideways. Jamila had two rounds of brain surgery, followed by radiation, and now lives with chronic health conditions. She’s had to re-map what life looks like and let go of the idea that she can control what lies ahead. Despite the challenges, Jamila’s found strength in herself and by leaning on those closest to her. In this episode, Jamila and Yumi dig into the wisdom that comes from being dealt one of life’s curve balls.

We all have days when we look in the mirror and think “who is that hideous moll staring back at me??” But what if those days are constant and you feel like a loser in the attractiveness lottery? Let’s face it, being hot is a social currency and the pressure to look a certain way as a woman is constant. So how can we let go of the ideal beauty standard (whatever that is on a given day) and learn to love the image looking back at us? Yumi Stynes is here with her gal pals Myf Warhurst and Zan Rowe to cut through the bull crap and help you embody your smoking self.

Perimenopause can be bad for your health. It’s not just the physical symptoms like weight gain, insomnia, exhaustion and loss of sex drive that can knock women sideways, the mental health impacts can be immense as well. Hormone fluctuations during this period can lead to mood swings, anxiety, brain fog and depression. To make matters worse, these symptoms are often misdiagnosed and mistreated. Help is at hand though! Yumi Stynes becomes an honourary member of the club and gets the 411 on all things perimenopause and mental health. Featured in this episode: Professor Jayashri Kulkarni, director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre Lifeline: 13 11 14 Menopause Friendly AustraliaHER Centre Australia

Have you ever had a sexual dry spell? And when we say dry, we mean years and years. Getting naked and doing the bedroom rodeo with another person can be daunting at the best of times, but especially if it’s been such a long time you’re worried you may have forgotten how to ride the horse. Anxieties begin to take over...Will everything work like it used to? What if they don’t like my body? And what if the dog walks in? So, how can you break the dry spell and get back in the saddle? Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire strip bare and give no-holds-barred advice on how to reclaim your sexual power after a long absence.

In life, there are a lot of random rules women stick to. One of them is not telling loved ones about a pregnancy until after the first trimester. But why???The answer is more often than not, miscarriage.

Being in love feels so damn good, right? But what if you fall so deeply into your relationship, you start to forget who you are?

Swipe left, swipe right, match, meet, hook up, repeat. We all know the dating dance, but is it really serving us as women?Enter Hannah Ferguson, the 25-year-old media queen who isn’t afraid to tell us how it is. When Hannah was in her late teens and dating for the first time, Tinder ruled the scene and sex was available at the swipe of a finger. But a string of sub-par experiences left her wondering if hookup culture is selling women a lie. Have we come to expect scraps because that's all that's on offer? And how can we push back and have the sex and relationships we deserve? Featured in this episode: Hannah Ferguson, CEO of Cheek Media Co. and author of Bite BackLifeline: 13 11 14 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Women bear the load of most of the invisible (thankless) work in a household. And that shit gets heavy. School lunches, laundry, dentist appointments, shopping, snot-wiping, cleaning, care-giving – and don’t forget to get those 10k steps in while you’re at it! We're exhausted just thinking about it. Yumi dishes out advice on how to even out the mental load and take the weight off your shoulders. If you’ve got a snag in your life that you just can’t figure out, let us take on the burden! Send an audio note to [email protected]

What if your appetite for sex was insatiable? Would you love to be boning every day, multiple times a day? There's this idea that it's men that are always lusting after sex. But guess what? Women can be horn dogs too! But that horniness often comes with the label "slutty". Yumi Stynes chats to women who are relishing their pleasure and enjoying plenty of orgasms while they’re at it.

When you’re stuck in the daily grind of working-mum life, sometimes it can be hard not to feel like a shitty mum. School lunches, getting them dressed (FFS), raising good humans, endless meetings – it's exhausting and soul-destroying. Yumi has some advice to ease the mum-guilt, when your heart is being yanked in opposite directions and backing away from work isn’t an option. If you’ve got a problem that not even your girl gang can help you solve, let us take on the burden! Send an audio note to [email protected]

Yumi has been cheeky and stolen the keys to the ABC archive to bring out one of our favourite episodes. Life is tiring. The cozzi livs, the constant merry-go-round of caring and work and chronic stress can be overwhelming. For some, this relentless pace can lead to burnout.

If you’ve carried a baby, you may have had to deal with the fall out (literally) of pelvic prolapse. But having your organs pop out of your vagina isn’t limited to mammas, getting older is also a big factor.

Rosie Waterland’s mum was, to put it mildly, chaos personified. Charming and caring one minute, abusive and cruel the next. This year, she died. A moment Rosie was strangely prepared for. But her mum’s death left her to contend with the conflicting emotions of grief and relief. Yumi Stynes sat down with Rosie for a heart to heart about growing up with an abusive parent, grieving and coming out of the other side of childhood trauma. Featured in this episode: Rosie Waterland, author and podcaster Lifeline: 13 11 14 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Would you like to flip the script and peg your partner? Yumi spreads the word on pegging your boo, how to introduce anal play into your sex life and the ins and outs of doing it (or not) so everyone feels good. If you’ve got a problem that’s doing your head in, never fear because your hottest, coolest agony aunt is primed and ready to help you out! Send us an audio note to [email protected]

Weight gain, bristly hairs, no period. Welcome to Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility worldwide and it can cause debilitating physical and psychological symptoms. 1 in 8 women have PCOS, so that’s at least a couple of friends in your group chat. So why do we still know so little about it? Yumi Stynes catches up with ladies who’ve been battling PCOS for years and finds out how they get on top of it. Featured in this episode: Professor Helena Teede, female endocrine specialist from Monash University

Do you have to pry your partner off the couch with a fork-lift? Are they living in skanky trackies 24/7? Yumi spills the tea on what to do if your other half has gone full slob. Got a life problem you just can’t solve? Help is at hand! We’re handing the mic over to you, our lush listeners and taking the burden of problem solving off your shoulders... because Ladies, We Need To Talk... Back! Send us your questions as a voice note to [email protected] - we can’t wait to hear from you!

We live in a sex obsessed world, where hook-up culture is king and getting laid out like a spatchcocked chicken is a status symbol. But what if you’re a fully-fledged adult, paying your own bills and you’re still a “virgin”? Some women might hold off having sex for the first time because they want to meet the “right” person, others because they haven’t had the opportunity or are waiting until marriage. Whatever the reason, it can feel lonely and isolating when there so much noise around sex. Yumi Stynes talks to women who haven’t yet had sex, either by choice or circumstance and to another who waited to have sex for over 40 years, until she met her perfect person. We love hearing from you! Send us an email or a voice note to [email protected] in this episode:Amanda McCracken, writer on love and limerence

Uh oh, what’s that you smell... a funky odour down below? The thought of having a stinky crotch is nightmare fuel for some women, but do we even need to worry about our musky bouquet? The delicate aroma of our lady-garden can be affected by things like our menstrual cycle and our lifestyle but how do we tell when the stank goes from normal to full on malodorous pudenda territory and what can be done about it? It’s time to take off those undies and confront the smelly minge in the room with your bestie Yumi by your side for support. Featured in this episode: Deborah Bateson, Professor of Practice and an expert in sexual health at the University of Sydney Sarah O'Neill, comedian

What happens when you want a divorce but the cost of leaving your marriage would cripple you financially? Would you ever stay in an unhappy marriage for the security money offers? It’s no secret, life is bloody expensive right now. From soaring rents to the cost of a bunch of broccoli, times are tough! So, sticking it out in a relationship you’re no longer happy in can seem appealing. Yumi Stynes talks to women who’ve had to make that extremely difficult choice. Featured in this episode: Victoria Devine, host of She’s on the Money Emily Maguire, CEO of Respect Victoria Rachel Voysey, Founding Director of the Relationship Room Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732

What if we put a stop to marriage...for good? Like, just stop with flouncy white dresses, walking down the aisle and having a dude give us away. In her new book, I Don’t, Clementine Ford is calling for just that. She reckons that a ring on a finger is a bridal march to losing your identity. From the moment we come screaming into the world, we’re pushed the line that to find “the one” to get married and settle down is the be all and end all. You might discover a cure for cancer, scale Mt Everest and be a total baddie but if you’re unwed you haven't quite made it in the eyes of society. Clem Ford talks to Yumi Stynes about her call to arms for us to ditch the bouquets and our man's dirty laundry for a life on our own terms. Featured in this episode: Clementine Ford, author and feminist

Do you wizz when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us (!) have pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence and prolapse (eek). But don’t stress! Yumi Stynes has kegel’d her way back to the Ladies archives and dug up some reassurance that you can definitely turn things around. Just be prepared to clench.

You think you’ve met “the one” and they seem totally perfect for you, but is it all too good to be true? Could you be dating a narcissist? What starts out as a dreamy relationship filled with fancy presents and compliments galore, suddenly turns sour and you’re left wondering if you’re slowly losing your mind. Narcissists make up only 1% of the population but the impact they have on the women who date them can be truly devastating. Yumi Stynes meets women who have fallen in love with a narcissist and uncovers the psychology behind their charm. Featured in this episode: Tamara Cavenett, clinical psychologist Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732

Having sex can be exposing, nerve wracking. When we strip down, we reveal ourselves – and not just our bits. No wonder we sometimes reach for courage in a bottle. For some women, a few shots can make them feel comfortable enough to go home with that hottie from across the bar, for others the relationship between alcohol and sex can be more toxic. Yumi Stynes chats to women who are putting the lid back on the bottle and embarking on sex...stone cold sober. Featured in this episode: Tawny Lara, author of Dry Humping Faye Lawrence, grey area drinking coach

Yumi has been on an adventure down to the depths of the ABC archives to uncover an absolute banger of an episode. On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? In this love letter to our friends, Yumi Stynes invites herself into the joyful friendship between Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch and celebrates the deep platonic love we can only get from our besties.

Is the soundtrack to your life a ticking baby-making clock? What if you’re desperate to be a mother but the other half of the baby-making equation just hasn’t become available? Yumi Stynes meets women who have given the middle finger to the idea of the nuclear family and become solo mums by choice. From swiping for sperm; turkey-basting and solo sleep deprivation – find out what it’s really like to choose to parent on your own. Featured in this episode: Alexandra Collier – Author of Inconceivable Dr Karin Hammarberg - Senior Research Fellow, Monash University

If you’re having trouble getting hot for your long-term partner? You’re not alone. Domestic bliss, smelling our partner’s farts, demanding kids – it feels like it’s all part of a worldwide conspiracy to shrivel our sex drive. So come hang with Yumi Stynes and sex nerd Emily Nagoski to get some practical advice on how to brush off the cobwebs, bring back our lady-boners and actually want to have sex with our life mate again. Featured in this episode: Emily Nagoski PhD – Sex researcher and author of books, Come As You Are; Burnout and Come Together

Yumi Stynes has pinched the keys to the ABC podcast dungeon and has pulled out her absolute fave episodes for you. Are you team Dolphin or team Pubus Maximus? Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their Map of Tassie regularly. But why do we feel the need to pluck, shave, scrape, or zap our pubes at all? Yumi Stynes find out the meaning behind our pubey grooming choices. Featured in this episode: Mona Chalabi - Data journalist Maeve Marsden - Podcaster Christina Zheng – Comedian

Getting naked in front of someone you’re about to get down and dirty with is a really vulnerable thing to do for even the most confident among us. But what about when you’ve spent your whole life being told your body isn’t desirable or sexy? And those messages are hitting you from everywhere. From television, movies, strangers on the street and even from the very people who are supposed to be into you. That’s the reality for a lot of women living in fat bodies out there, so how do you say a big F*** you to that narrative and start having great sex? Two hot, fat babes, Bec Shaw and April Hélène-Horton got together with Yumi Stynes for a no-holds barred DNM to chat about all things sex. Featured in this episode: Bec Shaw – writer and podcaster April Hélène-Horton aka The Bodzilla – advocate and activist

Do you scream foul obscenities at bad drivers? Chuck your phone violently on the bed when seething? Heard “that time of the month?” when you’re furious? Babes, you’re not alone. Women are foaming at the mouth with fury and we’re screaming at the top of our lungs. From the mental load to workplace bullying; sexism and just the patriarchy in general plus - HORMONES - there’s a hell of a lot to be ticked off about. Grab your safety gear and come smash some stuff with Yumi Stynes as she releases her fury with a baseball bat. Who knew destruction could be so cathartic? Featured in this episode: Dr Chelsea Watego – Professor of Indigenous Health at QUT’s School of Public Health and Social Work. Dr Jayashri Kulkarni - Professor in Women's Mental Health. Psychiatrist and Director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre. Dr Liz Summerell – Postdoctoral researcher at the University of New South Wales School of Psychology studying anger, aggression, and humility.

So you hugged a workmate having a rough time – is that intimacy? Locked eyes and shared a giggle with a stranger in a spin class – does that count as intimacy? You just had some hook up sex – was it intimate? Here at Ladies HQ, we want to know: What even is intimacy? And when we think we're craving sex is what we are actually wanting, intimacy? (Lucky) Yumi Stynes gets up close and personal with Esther Perel (IRL!) about the importance of intimacy how we can all enjoy a bit more connection with others. Featured in this episode: World renowned relationship psychotherapist; host of Where Should We Begin and How’s Work podcasts and creator of Where Should We Begin the Game, Esther Perel.

You're horny. You're hooking up. It's hot and heavy. Then, a hand makes its way to your throat… wait WTF? Yup. Choking during sex has hit the mainstream.Choking was once the kinda thing you'd only come across in the world of BDSM, but now thanks to our easy access to porn it's literally everywhere and young women are in its grip.A recent study discovered almost 60 per cent of female college students have been choked during sex, with a quarter having been choked by the time they're 17.Yumi Stynes finds out why some women love to be choked during sex and talks to others who aren't so enamoured with it.Some names have been changed to protect identities.Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732Featured in this episode: Dr Debby Herbenick - Professor at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, sexuality researcher, educator and author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and SexAleks Trkulja – Sex therapist at The Pleasure Centre

Are you guilty of compulsively stalking your ex on socials whilst ugly crying and eating ice cream out of the carton? Join the club baby. The soul-shattering, unbridled agony of a devastating break-up, is something we tend to avoid really letting ourselves feel. The most we might get from our mates is "get back on the apps babe, there are plenty more fish in the sea".Even though it’s a universal experience, heartbreak sits in the domain of teenage girls writing in their diaries rather than being taken seriously as a mental and physical ailment. Yumi Stynes talks to heartbroken women about how they’re stitching their hearts back into their chests after being tortuously ripped out. Get in touch with your stories of heartbreak and how you made it through: [email protected] Featured in this episode: Jessie Stephens, podcaster and author of Heartsick.Alice Haddon, counselling psychologist and founder of The Heartbreak Hotel

Had your heart pulverised? Been choked during sex? Is your partner a narcissist? Ladies is back and we’re going there.

Even though we all crack a turd whistle once in a while, it doesn't mean we're not ashamed of the noises and smells that erupt from our bums, especially if it happens in public. And according to research, women hold that shame more deeply and are judged more harshly for their eruptions than men. Yumi Stynes sniffs out how we can disperse the cloud of shame around women and farting. Featured in this episode: Professor Clare Collins, Laureate Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics at the University of Newcastle .Dr Kirsten Bell, Professor of Social Anthropology, University of Roehampton Additional production: Kelly Ung & Yimeng Hu

Search #cleaneating on social media, and you'll come across over 50 million posts. Vegan, paleo, raw, protein shakes, juice cleanses, gluten-free, dairy-free, chia seeds… all of these things, social media and diet culture will tell us, are the types of foods we should be putting into our bodies. These diets offer the promise of perfect health and the perfect body…But for some they tip over into unhealthy obsession. Yumi Stynes discovers what happens when food choices stop being about "yuk" and "yum" and become a battle between good and evil. When clean eating tips over the wafer-thin line into Orthorexia Nervosa. Featured in this episode: Dr Gemma Sharp, Clinical Psychologist and Head of Body Image research at Monash University

Lots of women are super self-conscious about the sticky stuff in our undies. The way it looks and the way it smells. So much so that up to a third of us wear a panty liner each day. But how much do you actually know about discharge? What should it smell like? What should it look like? And should we just stop dissing our discharge?

The prospect of dying is an abstract thing, something we try hard not to think about at all costs.But what if the one dying…is you? Join Yumi Stynes as she meets women who are facing their own death head-on and learns how to hard those hard conversations about the end of your life.Featured in this episode:Dr Kerrie Noonan, Clinical Psychologist and founder of the Death Literacy Institute.

Cradle snatcher, sugar-daddy, toy-boy, cougar… all of those terms are loaded with baggage and undermine the relationships they describe. Beyond the stereotypes, what's it like to be in a relationship with a big age gap?Yumi Stynes meets women who are defying the research and dating way out of their age range… and loving it, even if their friends and family aren't so enamoured.Featured in this episode:Dr Grace Lordan, Associate Professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science