Donald Sutherland & Advice From a Worldly-Wise Security Guard. From Kenny Denton's memoir "There Ain't No Rules In Rock n Roll"

From Kenny Denton's memoir "There Ain't No Rules In Rock n Roll"

In the mid to late 70s, should you have been working at the legendary studio De Lane Lee/CTS in Wembley after 5.30pm or on weekends, you would be greeted at the front desk by the security guard known as Albert Agras. Albert was a wonderful likeable person with large cartoon type characteristics; highlighted with a nose that was a similar shape, but twice the size of the actor Karl Malden.

Albert was a compulsive gambler and believed he was truly a master orator and a true oracle on the universe and all within it.

Should the last session finish before midnight he would head directly to the Victoria Casino in London, and mostly lose whatever money he had. On one rare occasion he had a large win. On returning to his home at around 2am, Albert awoke his wife to tell her of his good fortune and that the new kitchen she had wanted for so long could be ordered the next day. Not being able to go back to sleep due to the adrenalin of his lucky streak racing through his veins, he got up got dressed and returned to the casino, where of course he lost all of his earlier winnings. The next morning at breakfast Albert’s wife was ecstatic with the news of his win and wanted to order the kitchen immediately. Albert, down a hole of no return, inquisitively remarked,

“Winnings? kitchen? I have no idea what you are talking about, you must have been dreaming.”

Donald Sutherland

Albert decides to give Mr. Sutherland the Canadian actor whose film career spanned more than fifty five years some of his Worldly wise knowledge.

Sutherland rose to fame after starring in films such as The Dirty Dozen, M*A*S*H, Kelly’s Heroes and Klute.

He continued to star in hit movies including The Eagle Has Landed, National Lampoon’s Animal House, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, JFK and The Hunger Games to mention just a few.

In 1979 Jerry Goldsmith was given the responsibility of recording the music for the movie The First Great Train Robbery, starring Sutherland. Even with such a rich history of life nothing could have prepared him for a meeting with Albert the Oracle.

One evening I arrived late at the studio, I went to the reception desk to check if there were any messages left for me, they were always pinned on the message board.

Sutherland, a giant of a man, was leaning on the reception desk speaking to someone on the phone.

As he finished the call, I overheard Albert engaging him in conversation.

I wasn’t aware of the conversation between them both before I arrived, but I could now hear Albert referring to Sutherland as Oddball, the character Sutherland played in the movie Kelly’s Heroes.

Albert, with his all knowing and authoritative voice said,

“Oddball, let me tell you this, there are only two types of people in this world.”

Sutherland, looked mystified as Albert continued speaking and said,

Yep, BIG WANKERS and LITTLE WANKERS!”

I was dumbfounded by this and although it was hard to gage Sutherlands reaction, I think it was one of complete bewilderment, naturally.

Many famous artists whilst at the studio were exposed to Albert’s worldly-wise utterances.