How To Love Yourself No Matter What

If you’ve been told your whole life that you’re “too sensitive”…and somewhere along the way you started believing that meant you’re fragile…This episode is for you.Because sensitivity is not the problem.But not understanding how to work with it?That’s where things start to break.In this episode, I’m breaking down what sensitivity actually is (hint: it’s not just crying), why so many women feel like they’re one step away from falling apart, and what’s really going on beneath the anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm.In This Episode, I Cover:What sensitivity actually means (and why it’s so misunderstood)Why a “sensitive nervous system” doesn’t always look emotional on the outsideHow childhood conditioning teaches you that who you are is a problemWhy masking, performing, and shape-shifting become your defaultHow confidence decreases as life gets more complexWhy anxiety, second-guessing, and overwhelm start to increase over timeThe real reason you feel like you might “break”Why nothing has gone wrong — you’ve just never been taught how to work with yourselfThe difference between being sensitive and being fragileWhat actually creates stability, confidence, and emotional strengthKey TakeawayYou are not too sensitive.You are under-supported.Sensitivity without the right tools will feel like overwhelm.But sensitivity with support, self-trust, and nervous system regulation?That’s power.InvitationI’m hosting a brand new free class:Sensitive, Not FragileIf you’re done feeling like you’re one emotion away from falling apart,this is where you start.I’ll teach you how to:Feel your emotions without collapsingRegulate your nervous systemBuild real self-trustCreate a life that actually feels good👉 Register here: joinamanda.caConnect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

What if the reason you feel invisible… isn’t actually about other people?In this episode, I’m sharing something that came up in a coaching session — and it hit deeper than I expected.Because while most of us wouldn’t say “I feel irrelevant,” we feel it in subtle ways:When someone doesn’t listen to usWhen we don’t feel validatedWhen we feel overlooked in conversationsWhen our reactions feel bigger than the momentAnd what I realized is this:You only feel irrelevant when you treat yourself like you are.In this episode, I break down how this shows up, why it triggers such strong emotional reactions, and how to take your power back — without needing anyone else to change.In This Episode, I Cover:Why “feeling invisible” is more common than you thinkThe hidden belief underneath emotional reactionsHow quickly we internalize other people’s behaviorThe difference between external validation and internal relevanceWhy you don’t need permission to matterHow to stop fighting for relevance — and start owning itThe pattern that keeps repeating in relationships (and how to break it)Why reactivity keeps you stuck — and curiosity moves you forwardHow to get your needs met without escalating conflictKey TakeawayYou are not relevant because other people validate you.You are relevant because you decide you are.When you stop outsourcing your worth and start leading yourself from that place — everything changes:Your reactions.Your relationships.Your confidence.Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahessOr visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

This episode is a little different.It’s actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while I’m in Hawaii — and I wanted to bring it here because it’s something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head.This is about what I call planting yourself in the moment.So many of us live in our thoughts — spinning, analyzing, anticipating — and it pulls us out of our bodies and away from ourselves.This practice is a simple way to come back.It helps you move out of your mind and into your body using your senses, your breath, and a few grounding thoughts that remind you: you’re safe, nothing has gone wrong, and you can be with yourself here.The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to regulate your nervous system and support yourself through hard moments.In This Episode We Talk About• What it means to “plant yourself in the moment”• How to use your senses to ground yourself anywhere• A simple breathing pattern to calm your body• The role of safety-based thoughts in nervous system regulation• Why getting out of your head and into your body changes everything• How to be present with yourself even when you’re experiencing discomfortKey TakeawayYou can feel grounded and safe even in the middle of a difficult emotion.When you learn to bring yourself back into the present moment — instead of getting lost in your thoughts — your nervous system settles, your body softens, and you reconnect with yourself.Nothing has gone wrong.This is just a feeling.And you can be with yourself through it.Ready to Go Deeper?If this resonated and you want support applying this work in your own life, I’d love to help.You can book a discovery call with me and we’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together is a good fit.Book here:amandahess.ca/bookacall

In episode 302, I shared the first 10 lessons I’ve learned from living 50 years with a sensitive nervous system.Today we’re continuing with the next 10.These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood.Many of us are technically adults, but we’re still letting the hurt version of us, the teenage version of us, or the people-pleasing version of us lead our lives. And when that happens, we end up exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves.Learning emotional responsibility changes everything.It means recognizing that your feelings are yours to care for. It means setting boundaries instead of quietly crossing them and then feeling resentful. It means advocating for yourself even when it’s uncomfortable.These are lessons I learned the hard way — through relationships, mistakes, and a lot of personal growth. My hope is that by sharing them with you, you might learn them a little more gently.If you’ve ever struggled with resentment, over-explaining yourself, feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, or performing in order to be accepted, this episode will help you see those patterns more clearly.And once you see them, you can start choosing something different.In This Episode We Talk About• Why other people are not responsible for your feelings• How resentment often means you’re crossing your own boundaries• Why over-explaining is usually fear of rejection• Why advocating for yourself might make people uncomfortable — and why that’s okay• How you can disappoint someone and still be a good person• Why being “low maintenance” is often conditioning, not a personality trait• The difference between being needed and being valued• Why you don’t need to be relevant — you need to be important to yourself• How to recognize when you’re performing instead of living• Why you will almost never regret choosing yourselfKey TakeawayEmotional adulthood begins the moment you stop trying to manage everyone else’s feelings and start taking responsibility for your own.When you learn to set boundaries, validate yourself, and choose what actually matters to you, your life becomes more peaceful, more powerful, and far more fulfilling.Choosing yourself isn’t selfish.It’s how you stop leaking your energy everywhere and start building a life that actually feels good to live.Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me.We’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.Book here:amandahess.ca/bookacall

Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people — the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with.But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection.When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves — how we’re being perceived, whether we’re awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention is turned inward like that, it becomes almost impossible to actually connect with someone else.Real friendship doesn’t grow out of self-consciousness or performance. It grows out of curiosity, generosity, and genuine interest in another person.In this episode, I talk about the mindset patterns that make adult friendship harder than it needs to be — and what actually creates meaningful connection.I also share the simple framework I use with my coaching clients to understand how friendships develop over time and why so many women unintentionally put pressure on the wrong relationships.If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has friends except you, or like making friends as an adult feels confusing or exhausting, this episode will help you see what’s really going on — and how to start approaching connection in a healthier, more empowering way.In This Episode We Talk AboutWhy believing “nobody likes me” makes connection almost impossibleHow insecurity creates self-focus that blocks real friendshipThe difference between collecting friends and building relationshipsWhy adult friendships feel harder than friendships earlier in lifeThe three “friendship buckets” that explain how friendships actually formWhy putting pressure on a few people to become your friends often backfiresThe importance of growing your self-relationship so friendships can form naturallyHow vulnerability and invitations create opportunities for connectionWhy genuine curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for building friendshipsKey TakeawayFriendship isn’t something you acquire or secure.It’s something you build — one conversation, one interaction, and one genuine connection at a time.The question isn’t “Do they like me?”The real question is:“Am I showing up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to connect?”Ready to Go Deeper?If you’re ready to work on your relationship with yourself — the foundation for every relationship in your life — you can book a discovery call with me.We'll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.Book here:amandahess.ca/bookacall

I turned 50 this week.And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different.There’s awareness.There’s fear.There’s grief.And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties.In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive.Today, I’m giving you the first 10.These are the foundational lessons — the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity.Because if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you will misunderstand your entire life.In This Episode, I Cover:Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if it’s been treated like one)How your nervous system drives your reactionsWhy emotions are messengers — not problemsThe difference between regulation and suppressionWhy other people are not responsible for your feelingsHow to stop fucking yourself overWhy joy must be cultivatedHow to move with fear instead of shrinking from itWhy friendship takes work (especially at midlife)What loving yourself actually requiresWhy focusing on what you want MORE of changes everythingKey TakeawayBeing a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself.It’s about building emotional capacity.It’s about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it.It’s about becoming unwilling to betray yourself.Turning 50 hasn’t made me less sensitive.It’s made me more skilled.And skill changes everything.Continue the SeriesThis is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series:50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahessOr visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything.So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing:Getting rid of what’s wrong.The anxiety.The stress.The overthinking.The guilt.The burnout.The trauma.And while support matters, here’s what’s missing:You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts.In this episode, I’m teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through — the emotional teeter-totter — and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal.Because life is 50/50.Your brain is wired to scan for danger.And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode.Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side.Joy.Pleasure.Excitement.Belonging.Desire.Purpose.When you intentionally build those, everything changes.✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why “fixing yourself” can actually make you feel worseHow self-help sometimes overemphasizes what’s brokenThe 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why it’s normal)How your primitive brain keeps you in survival modeThe emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everythingWhy eliminating stress isn’t the goalHow to build emotional capacity instead of avoidanceThe difference between tolerating emotions and processing themWhy creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowermentWhy pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility💛 The TruthYour life won’t feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety.It will feel better because you’ve learned how to:Feel anxiety without collapsingCreate joy on purposeBuild balance instead of chasing perfectionEmpower yourself emotionallyYou don’t need to become stress-free.You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want.🌿 Want to Go Deeper?If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life:📍 Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacallYou don’t have to keep running on the “fixing” treadmill.🎧 If You Loved This EpisodeShare it with someone who’s tired of trying to repair themselves.And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.

Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300.When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared:Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations.It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself.It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else.In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything.This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace.And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you…This episode is for you.✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why self-love is still deeply misunderstoodThe difference between being loving vs. being permissiveWhy so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhaustedHow perfectionism and pressure keep you stuckMy personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myselfHow nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safetyThe “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectlyHow self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiralingWhy your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourselfHow to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable)💛 Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you.📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall🎧 Loved this Episode?If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

Show notes coming soon

I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters.I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it.This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human.In This Episode, I Cover:Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problemThe shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of othersWhy people try to fix crying instead of allowing itHow we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”Why crying isn’t manipulativeCrying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotionA thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I doA question to sit with:What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong?You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it.That noticing is the work.If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahessI’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version.If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.Book a discovery call here:👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-callStay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.I’ll see you next week. 💛

Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover.In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck.This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself.In This Episode, We Cover:Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotionsThe difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelmWhy emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragilityHow we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling themWhy intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnoutCommon patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional painHow urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional painThe difference between managing emotional pain and relating to itWhy emotions don’t need to be solved in order to moveHow to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mindWhat it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotionWhy emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramaticHow emotional capacity grows through presence, not forceA personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is builtKey TakeawayEmotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust.Mentioned in This EpisodeEmotional capacity vs. emotional fragilityClean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelmSeparating sensation from storyInternal companionship and self-trustPresence as the path to emotional confidenceWork With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.Book a discovery call here:👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-callStay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.I’ll see you next week. 💛

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.In This Episode, We Cover:What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)Why jealousy often feels so intense and painfulThe difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousyHow we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgmentThe two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsightHow jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrinkWhy avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuckHow jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibilityKey TakeawayJealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.Mentioned in This EpisodeClean pain vs. dirty painDesire as information, not a problemEmotional honesty without self-abandonmentUsing emotion as guidance instead of self-judgmentWork With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.Book a discovery call here:👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-callStay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.I’ll see you next week. 💛

Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you?In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not a circumstance), how your brain tries to keep you “safe” by shrinking your life, and what it actually takes to rebuild your capacity for connection.This is a powerful, compassionate conversation about emotional safety, self-belonging, and learning how to stop turning away from yourself — even when your nervous system wants to hide.In This Episode, We Cover:Why belonging is a feeling, not something other people give youThe difference between direct rejection and micro-rejectionsHow rejection sensitivity builds quietly over timeWhy avoiding rejection leads to a smaller, lonelier lifeWhat it means to reject yourself in advance (and how it shows up)How your brain uses pre-rejection as a protection strategyA simple, practical way to interrupt self-rejection in real timeWhy you don’t need to “heal everything” to move forwardHow to build internal belonging: I am lovable. I belong.Key TakeawayIf you want to feel more connected, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. Belonging begins internally — and it’s a skill you can practice, moment by moment.Mentioned in This EpisodeThe Love Yourself No Matter What coaching methodReal-life application vs. theory-based mindset workNervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trustWork With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.Book a discovery call here:👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-callStay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.I’ll see you next week. 💛

If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you.January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better.This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline.It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing.We’ll talk about:Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shameHow performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cyclesWhy willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through controlA gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressureHow self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable changePowerful reframes you can return to all year longInstead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?”I invite you to explore questions like:What would make me feel a little safer this year?What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?What helps me come back to myself?You don’t need a big vision.You don’t need a perfect plan.And you don’t need to fix yourself.You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds.Mentioned in This EpisodeEpisode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-ConceptJoin the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca(Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacallA Gentle ReminderYou don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet.You don’t have to feel motivated.And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change.What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself?What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you?I’m so glad you’re here.And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are.In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed.Inside this episode, I share:What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)How early experiences shape the way we see ourselvesWhy “positive thinking” often backfiresA powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel trueWhy changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourselfIf you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure.Work With MeIf you want support with this work:✨ Join my membershipYou can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to:Weekly group coaching callsMy private daily podcast (500+ episodes)A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work togetherGo to joinamanda.ca to find out more.✨ 1:1 CoachingI currently have limited availability for private coaching.Book a discovery call here:👉 amandahess.ca/bookacallIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out.Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close.You are not stuck. You are not broken.And you are allowed to change.