Holy/Hurt Podcast

The series up until now has focused on individuals who have experienced spiritual trauma, but that has left some questions unanswered: what about those who perpetuate or are complicit in spiritual trauma? What about those of us who may not even know that has been the case? What about systemic spiritual trauma that is part of the fabric of our cultures? In this concluding episode, we address the other side of spiritual trauma and hear from Mark Charles about the legacy of the doctrine of discovery. Content note: this episode references residential schools. Correction: This episode references a shooting at a protest and the perpetrator's name in the audio is incorrect. The perpetrator was Kyle Rittenhouse, not Dylann Roof. Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guests: William Matthews III, Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, and K.J. Ramsey Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

Often without knowing it, the contexts we come from shape our definitions of healing, sometimes leaving us crafting a definition of trauma recovery informed by the black and white thinking, rigidity, or individualism we are trying to heal from. This episode is all about healing. Instead of proposing a singular path for healing, or a specific narrow definition, options and possibilities for healing are offered at an individual and community level. During this episode you’ll also hear from William Matthews III, Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, and K.J. Ramsey. Content note: this episode references eating disorders. Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guests: William Matthews III, Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, and K.J. Ramsey Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

This week, we’re sharing a meditation from Dr. Hillary McBride that helps us to connect with our core state. You can also check out the recorded Instagram Live conversation between @hillaryliannamcbride and @sanctuarymentalhealth which is now posted on our Instagram feed. We return to episode seven next week. Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

When a function of spiritually traumatic environments is to tell us that we are broken and in need of healing, and healing we are told looks one specific way, beginning to piece together a future on the other side of that can feel confusing. What is healing, and what is just a recreation of the stories that hurt us in the first place? In this episode, we discuss healing from complex trauma and what it means to begin to witness ourselves, turning towards the places inside of us that carry wounds. We discuss parts work, Judith Herman’s model of recovery, and hear from Dr. Alison Cook and J.S. Park. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guests: Dr. Alison Cook, J.S. Park Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

Although for many people it was the ideal, there is an individual and systemic cost to feeling the responsibility to save the world. Although it helps for a time, and may even be praised for being spiritually mature, being disconnected from normal human emotions has an impact on an individual. In this episode, we look at spiritual trauma through the lens of systems: both inside of us, and around us. This will help us begin to understand how the roles we played, and the defenses we used, disconnected us from the full experience of being human, and help us imagine another way forward where we can step more fully into who we were before who we were ever told we had to be. This episode features interviews with Mihee Kim Kort and Dr. Laura Anderson. Content Note: this episode contains reference to sexual abuse. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guest: Mihee Kim Kort, Dr. Laura Anderson Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

When spiritual trauma infuses our growing up years, it can be hard to identify it as trauma. We might find ourselves asking, how could it be trauma if it feels normal? And how can it be trauma when what happened in our family looks like what happened in so many other families? In this episode we talk about what happens when we experience spiritual trauma in our childhood, as well as the foundational psychological and social needs we all share as humans. When these needs are met, it makes it easier for us to grow up and trust ourselves, others, and the process of growing itself. In this episode we hear from Dr. Alison Cook and William Matthews III. Content Note: this episode contains reference to sexual abuse. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guest: Alison Cook, William Matthews III Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

Sometimes trauma happens as a result of a single event, with a distinct before, during, and after. More often than not, spiritual trauma happens in complex, layered ways over a long period of time. In this episode, Dr. Hillary McBride talks about the legacy of spiritual trauma in our mind-body systems, including listing many of the psychological, social, and physiological symptoms of spiritual trauma. This episode includes interviews with Mihee Kim Kort and K.J. Ramsey. Content Note: this episode contains reference to sexual abuse; it also includes profanity. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guest: Mihee Kim Kort, K.J. Ramsey Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

Even though the impact of trauma is felt most obviously in each individual, through the symptoms that show up in their thinking, feeling, and sensing, what causes such trauma, and the impact of it, spreads far beyond the individual. In this episode, Dr. Hillary McBride describes how spiritual trauma impacts our brain-body system, what post-traumatic stress is, and explores the systemic causes and effects of spiritual trauma. Guest interviews for this episode include K.J. Ramsey, Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, and Mark Charles. The episode ends with a guided body-based emotion practice. Content Note: this episode contains reference to sexual abuse; it also includes profanity. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits: Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guests: K.J. Ramsey, Roberto Che Espinoza, and Mark Charles Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

Is spiritual trauma real? And if so, what is it? In the first episode of this podcast, Dr. Hillary McBride introduces the definitions of trauma in a more general sense, and spiritual trauma more specifically. Trauma in all forms creates a kind of shattering, with a legacy of fragmentation that lives on in our bodies, communities, and stories about ourselves. When trauma happens to us, nothing in our lives goes untouched, reminding us that even if we have been told otherwise, we are still whole. J.S. Park is interviewed as part of this episode, and it concludes with a guided grounding practice. For transcript and show notes, visit holyhurtpodcast.com Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Guest: J.S. Park Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy

What is spiritual trauma? How does it impact us? And are there paths toward healing? In this series, Hillary McBride (PhD, RPsych, RCC) explores these questions, sharing her research, clinical experience, and embodied approach, and engaging with other mental health professionals and people with lived experience of spiritual trauma. This series offers an informed and gentle invitation toward learning and healing, designed specifically for people who have experienced various kinds of spiritual trauma, and can be used either individually or in community. For those who simply want to learn more about spiritual trauma, this podcast will help you consider how you can help build healthier communities and love your neighbour with greater compassion and wisdom. While this series addresses stories and trauma situated within the Church, it is intended for a broad audience and does not presume particular spiritual practices or beliefs. Holy/Hurt: A Podcast Exploring Spiritual Trauma and Healing is sponsored by Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries. Credits Written and recorded by: Hillary McBride Executive producer: Leslie Roberts Sound editing: Bradley Danyluk and Micaela Peragallo Music and scoring: Jon Guerra, adapted from the album Ordinary Ways, strings performed by Valerie Guerra Logo and art: Courtney Searcy Featured voices: William Matthews, Roberto Che Espinoza, Alison Cook, K.J. Ramsey, Mark Charles, and J.S. Park Learn more at holyhurtpodcast.com