HeightsCast: Forming Men Fully Alive

In many quarters of contemporary society, busy-ness has become a sort of cliche greeting. To the question "How are you?", the response, "So busy," is often automatic. To borrow the words of Dr. R.J. Snell, many of us are conspicuously busy; and we wear our busy-ness as a sort of badge of honor, rooting our worth in our work. In last week's episode, we talked with Dr. Snell about work and acedia. This week, we round out that episode with a discussion of what is ultimately the point of work, namely leisure. While we may often think of leisure as ordered toward work—we rest so that we may work more—Dr. Snell explains how the reverse is nearer the truth, not only etymologically but also metaphysically. Work is for the sake of leisure, as instrumental goods are for the sake of intrinsic goods. As you'll hear, if we take the Eucharistic feast seriously on Sunday, then the rest of our days will be caught up into that Eucharastic feast. Monday will be different, for though we may be just as busy as before, our activity will no longer be so frenetic. It may even take on the mysterious rhythm of a divine dance. 0:20 Relationship between leisure and acedia 0:35 Acedia as frenetic busy-ness 1:05 Total work and workaholism 1:44 School as leisure 2:30 Leisure is not an absence of activity 3:02 Sabbath work and goods for their own sake 5:04 Modern education and its discontents 5:52 Education as the feast 6:35 Mistake 1: Not respecting students as sovereign knowers 7:56 Mistake 2: Olympian vision of education 10:55 Overscheduling as a form of acedia 12:05 Conspicuous busy-ness 12:45 A culture of having and doing, rather than being 13:35 Sin as loving a lower good at the expense of a higher good 14:40 Sloth as a flattening of the Sabbath 14:56 Where do we begin? 15:40 Suggestions for the Sabbath 17:00 Sabbath overflowing into the work week 17:30 A Eucharistic life 18:25 Another sort of leisure 18:50 Leisure and contemplation in the work-a-day world 19:20 Living in and approving of the good 20:11 Dance as contemplation 21:53 Backyard sports as contemplation 23:50 A good question for conversation 24:10 What can we do to enjoy our time with each other more? 24:25 Catching the little foxes Also on The Forum Work and Acedia: R.J. Snell on Our Original Vocation with R.J. Snell OptimalWork series with Kevin Majeres What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Additional Resources Leisure: The Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper In Tune with the World by Josef Pieper Portsmouth Institute Family, Leisure, and the Restoration of Culture by R.J. Snell Acedia and Its Discontents: Metaphysical Boredom in an Empire of Desire by R.J. Snell Summa Theologiae, II.2.35: Sloth by St. Thomas Aquinas

A certain distinguished school leader, when asked when he would retire from his work, replied, "the day that I wake up and do not want to go to work." A reply such as this perhaps strikes the modern ear as senseless. For many of us, work fills the greater portion of our daily lives, but do we feel ourselves thereby fulfilled? Especially today, we may often feel trapped in what seem like unspectacular sisyphean cycles. This week, R. J. Snell, editor-in-chief of Public Discourse and director of the Center on the University and Intellectual Life at the Witherspoon Institute in Princeton, New Jersey, talks to HeightsCast about the virtues of work and its opposing vice, acedia. Drawing on insights from his book, Acedia and Its Discontents, R. J. helps us think through how these concepts are realized in the context of family life and life on campus. As we will hear, our everyday work is the ordinary means by which we participate not only in the perfection of God's creation but also in the perfection of our very selves. Our work is where the rubber meets the road; it is where mere aspiration is turned into actual reality. Ultimately, work is where heaven and earth merge. In realizing this often hidden truth, we may thereby discover that divine drama which is not a sisyphean cycle, but a spiral staircase. Chapters 1:17 Work as a gift 2:22 Error of thinking that work is a result of the Fall 3:23 Garden of Eden as in a state of potency: Adam and Eve are called to fill it 5:30 Work as part of being made in the image of God 7:15 How work fulfills us 7:35 Husbandry of the self 8:25 God's rule through our own self rule: participated theonomy 10:08 Work as the primary way of exercising self-governance 12:50 Cultivating the soil: on the way to beauty 14:25 The friendly universe 15:50 Grace perfects nature 16:41 The three tests of good work 18:45 The integrity of work and the worker's integrity 19:30 Bright-eyed children 21:25 Work as furnishing God's house 24:03 Education as cooperating with Grace 26:07 Acedia: a hatred of reality 27:05 Judge Holden and the desire for radical self-autonomy 30:00 Desert Fathers on acedia and the refusal of God's friendship 31:00 Sloth as the vice of our age 31:36 Natural history as the counter to acedia and reductionism 35:03 The little foxes: recognizing acedia creeping in 35:55 What you are doing now is where God is calling you 37:40 The divine drama of the most mundane things 38:50 Sabbath and rest Also on The Forum OptimalWork series with Kevin Majeres Why We Need Exposure to Nature by Eric Heil What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Additional Resources Portsmouth Institute Family, Leisure, and the Restoration of Culture by R. J. Snell Acedia and Its Discontents: Metaphysical Boredom in an Empire of Desire by R. J. Snell Summa Theologiae, II.2.35: Sloth by St. Thomas Aquinas

This episode features Mr. Michael Moynihan's lecture at last year's Teaching Vocation Conference. Our Upper School Head shares why a liberal arts education is needed more today than in times past. And the reasons are not simply that classics majors can code too. To the contrary, an authentic liberal education gives us not only truth, but also a ground upon which to stand. Many of our current social crises are rooted precisely in such a poverty: we mistrust much of our ability to know, and consequently we don't know much of what gives life purpose and meaning. Michael goes on to share four characteristics of a good liberal arts education. According to our Upper School Head, such an education: Teaches the right use of reason (grounding empirical sciences in realism at the bottom, and opening them to philosophy and transcendence at the top. In this vein, Michael challenges the current trends that simply limit the liberal arts to the humanities); Conveys meaning through a narrative approach, and in particular, meanings that offer a foundation resistant to materialism; Connects us to our tradition in such a way that facilitates authentic freedom; and Is firmly rooted in a realism that allows students to engage the real in a meaningful way. More on the Forum: "Fact or Opinion?": Roots of Relativism in an Ethical Dilemma Freedom in Quarantine: Daniel Bernardus on Leonardo Polo

In last week's episode, we considered how beauty is a special combination of order and surprise. To behold beauty, we learned, is to contemplate the dynamism of a being on the way to its perfection. It is to see the rose emerging from its seed. This week we talk with assistant headmaster, Tom Royals, about learning to see the beauty—albeit often messy beauty—of our own growing children. To be sure, in this adventure, we may find more surprise than order. Nevertheless, in learning to see our children with loving eyes, we learn to better understand them. And in better understanding them, we are better able to accompany them along their paths, each of which has its own peculiar order. In this episode, Tom encourages us to avoid thinking of our children as projects and instead to learn to contemplate them as free persons. For it is only in becoming contemplatives of our children that they will know themselves to be understood and loved, as they are. This knowledge, more than anything, will become the basis of their growth. Like Chesterton said of Rome, they are not loved because they were first great; they will become great because they have first been loved. Chapters 4:00 Not projects, but persons 5:43 To be seen and known 6:25 To be accompanied, not managed 7:20 To be contemplated 7:45 Charity as seeking to understand 9:30 Only the beloved sings 10:30 Accompanying as flowing from contemplating 11:50 The importance of knowing our stress points 13:08 ​​We are always teaching 15:30 Why we should "waste time" with our children 16:35 The importance of being available 19:15 The need for simplicity when attending to our children 21:00 The dangers of "search and destroy" mode 25:00 Why we should welcome guests into our homes 26:20 Storytelling around the dinner table 27:05 Limiting corrections at the dinner table 28:20 Parents and teachers are always learning 28:55 The long view in parenting and education 29:30 Loving your children as a manifestation of loving your spouse 31:12 Parenting and teaching: overflows of the interior life Also on The Forum 20 Ways to Improve the Family Dinner by Rich Moss Against Indifference by Tom Longano Ways to Foster a Family Culture by Alvaro de Vicente On Home as Social Hub: The Importance of Hosting Our Sons and Their Friends with Tom Royals Learn to Turn: Tom Royals on Parental Prudence with Tom Royals Cultivating Friendship in the Classroom by Austin Hatch Our Little Protectors: How Do WE See Our Boys? with Alvaro de Vicente

It sounds nice to say, using Dostoevsky's words, that beauty will save the world. But is this claim true? If so, in what sense is it true? What even is beauty? And what would it mean for it to save the world? This week, we welcome Dr. Lionel Yaceczko back to HeightsCast to discuss beauty: what it is and what the Western tradition can tell us about it. Today's episode is rooted in a previous discussion we had with Dr. Yaceczko, in which he spoke with us about Western civilization. In that episode, we considered what Western civilization is and why it is still worth studying today. This week, we look at one reason why the study of the West is a fruitful endeavor: it can help us better appreciate beauty. As we hear from Dr. Yaceczko, beauty consists in the marriage of order and surprise. It is the fruit of keeping the commandments and breaking the conventions. As such, seeing part of a beautiful work of art first invites our prediction—there is order and we can discern it—and then astounds our expectation—but that order is not mere slavish repetition. Whenever we find beauty in this world, we glimpse eternity. Each glimpse spurs us on to find the fullness of that beauty, which is our perfection and which will surpass all predictions: eye has not seen, nor ear heard what has been prepared for those who truly love. And when, God-willing, we find that Beauty—or perhaps, better yet, when He finds us— we will finally be at home. And yet, if our intuition about beauty here is on track, then we will forever be astonished with Whom we find. Chapters 2:33 What is the classical style? 2:53 From the web 2:43 Neoclassical architecture in D.C. 6:33 Balance and classical architecture 8:15 What is beauty? 11:44 On forms and the form 13:18 Can we have a common conception of beauty? 14:07 Subjective aspects of beauty 15:00 Beauty as movement toward the final cause 16:10 Use and abuse 17:28 Personal taste and beauty 19:17 What is nature? 20:18 Ancient philosophers against nature 21:38 Beyond mere accidental arrangement: objective nature 23:08 Beauty: the balance of order and surprise 24:05 Chesterton's Manalive 27:03 How does beauty relate to happiness? 28:11 The philosopher as teacher of happiness 29:38 The spontaneity of beauty 31:00 Lessons from Classical sculpture: a brief introduction 32:14 Contrapposto and the movement toward perfection 34:23 Verism 35:03 Architecture 38:43 Beauty and the liberal arts Also on The Forum A Study for All Seasons: Lionel Yaceczko on the Western Tradition with Dr. Lionel Yaceczko What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Five Fruits of a Poetic Education by Nate Gadiano The Way of Encounter by Joe Breslin Matter and Form, Substance and Accidents by Michael Moynihan Additional Resources The Making of Europe: An Introduction to the History of European Unity by Christopher Dawson Beauty: What It Is and Why It Matters by John-Mark L. Miravalle The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky Manalive by G. K. Chesterton

In this week's episode, we continue our conversation with Dr. Kevin Majeres, turning our attention to the importance of setting challenges and the way actions shape emotions. Drawing on these two topics, Dr. Majeres helps us think through how parents can best help a son that is struggling with an addiction of any sort. In particular, Dr. Majeres responds to the following questions: What is addiction? What is the neuroscience behind addiction? How does the particular addiction of pornography tie into this general understanding of addiction? How can we—or our sons—set challenges? How is flow the ultimate in self-mastery? For the adolescent boy struggling with addiction, what sorts of challenges are we trying to help him craft? How do we help him frame out the sort of challenge that will free him? As we hear from Dr. Majeres, true freedom consists in the ability to form a deep bond and faithfully maintain it over time. Rather than a mere negation—a freedom from some outside force—the deepest freedom lies in a freedom for, the ability to give of oneself to another. We might well say, then, that there is no greater freedom than the freedom of friendship, and that the greatest of friends is He who leads us in libertatem gloriae filiorum Dei: into the glorious freedom of the sons of God. Chapters 3:22 Defining Addiction 5:40 The Neuroscience of Addiction and the Divided Brain 8:12 When the Left Hemisphere Takes Over 9:15 Neuroscience and The Virtues 10:11 Addiction to Pornography 11:35 The Danger of Responding with Mere Rules 12:30 Freedom as the Ability to Form Faithful Bond 13:10 Growing Up Brave 14:27 How Goods are Communicated through Bonds 16:18 Parenting and Growth 17:18 Controlling the Controllable 18:54 The Physiology of Bonding 19:10 The Neuroscience of Ends and Means 19:55 Order in the Home 20:37 Focus on the Bond: People are not Projects 21:52 Growth in Mastery: Endless Dopamine 25:30 Types of Challenges and the Divided Brain 26:25 Quality Challenges 28:04 Left Brain and Addictions 30:12 Flow as the Ultimate in Self-Mastery 30:48 Love as a Form of Flow 31:20 Contemplation as a Form of Flow 32:25 Contemplation and Work 33:40 Helping Our Sons Craft Challenges 34:20 The Importance of Deep Listening 35:50 The Danger of Problem Solving for Our Sons 38:34 How Should Parents Approach Challenges? 39:23 Outcomes vs. Growth 41:10 Classical Virtue Theory and Neuroscience 48:05 OptimalWork Resources Additional Resources The Master and His Emissary by Iain McGilchrist Growing Up Brave by Donna Pincus OptimalWork on YouTube OptimalWork MasterClass Also on The Forum On Freedom and Phones with Alvaro de Vicente Why Boys Need to Be Given Freedom by Andrew Reed Freedom in the Upper School by Rich Moss

We have all experienced moments in which we are so immersed in a task that we lose track of time and performance feels effortless. For some, this may occur on the sports field; for others, in the classroom; and still, for others, in the performance hall. Yet, we have likely also experienced the opposite. For many children, the struggle for concentration is probably more prevalent. Last week, we began a three-part series with Dr. Kevin Majeres. We discussed what anxiety is and how parents can help their sons—and themselves—turn occasions of anxiety into opportunities for growth. This week, we are back with Dr. Majeres to discuss attention and mindfulness. In the episode, Dr. Majeres helps us begin to answer the following questions: Although we all may know the symptoms, what really is at the heart of attentional issues? What is a distraction? How does it differ from an interruption? What is occurring physiologically when boys experience attentional difficulties? What are ways to develop the muscles of attention? What are common practices that cause attention to atrophy? Is medicating a good way to approach attentional issues? What is mindfulness? What are ways for younger children to practice mindfulness? How does freedom relate to mindfulness? In the end, mindfulness offers us a doorway into two aspects of freedom that are at the heart of human flourishing. Learning to attend to our work at school helps us to attend to others in society. And, in both instances, learning to attend well is a pathway to love; for what we love captures our attention — what lover does not often find his mind turning to his beloved? — and that to which we attend, we can begin to love. If education is the turning of a mind, as we hear in the Republic, then mindfulness may well be fundamental to its success. For when one turns toward the truth, he will thereby be ready not only to recognize it but, even more, he will be prepared to fall in love with it. Chapters 2:05 Introduction and Review of Episode 1 3:55 What is ADD and ADHD? 4:38 The Two Halves of Attention 6:28 Training the Default Mode Network 7:28 The Neuroscience of Attentional Difficulties 7:53 Theta Waves and the Muscle of Attention 9:05 The Three Movements of Attentional Training 9:55 Medication and the Gray Matter 11:13 Are Attentional Difficulties a Fixed Trait? 12:02 What Weakens the Attention 12:45 Video Games 13:25 How Music, Reading, and Work are not like Video Games 14:53 Passive Attention 15:30 Memory and Attention 16:35 The Importance of Imagination 18:01 Strengthening Attention 19:15 Slowing Down and Mindfulness 20:08 The Importance of Order and Predictability 22:15 Silence and Work 22:50 How distractions differ from Interruptions 26:00 Mindfulness for Young Children 30:18 The Golden Hour 31:33 Strategies for a Helping a Reluctant Boy 33:16 Forming the Perimeter 37:33 Mindfulness and Interior Freedom 38:50 The Freedom for Personal Bonds Additional Resources What is a Golden Hour? with Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif Younes Back to the Basics: An Intro to OptimalWork with Dr. Kevin Majeres OptimalWork on YouTube Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies by Simone Weil Also on The Forum From Anxiety to Adventure with Dr. Kevin Majeres Why We Need Exposure to Nature by Eric Heil Training the Hand to Train the Mind by Robert Grieving Three Guiding Principles for Homework by Rich Moss

Adorning our school's main hallway is a sort of charter for the Heights graduate which designates him as a man who is "optimistic toward life's challenges," as one who "sees freedom as an opportunity to choose the good." Fostering these ideals in each student is a central aspect of the school's mission. But, in a world that is increasingly filled with children suffering from anxiety, how—in very practical terms—can we help our students develop such an outlook on life? Last month, we heard from Mr. Alex Berthé on how parents can find peace in an anxiety ridden world. This week on HeightsCast, we begin a series of discussions with Dr. Kevin Majeres, lecturer at Harvard Medical School and Founder of OptimalWork. In this three-part series, we take a deep dive into three sets of challenges which are becoming increasingly prevalent in today's youth, and three mindsets or skills that can help us as parents and teachers to help our boys help themselves: Anxiety Attention Addiction Our first discussion with Dr. Majeres focuses on anxiety. Combining years of experience as a psychiatrist and drawing on research in cognitive behavioral therapy, Dr. Majeres teaches us both what anxiety is and what we can do about it. In the episode, we learn: The Foundation of Growth The importance of having a growth mindset—seeing yourself as capable of real improvement. Learning to reframe out of a fixed mindset. Anxiety Anxiety is adrenaline with a negative frame. Adrenaline is a performance-enhancing hormone, which is meant to improve one's capacities, whether physical or cognitive. All anxiety disorders come from seeing anxiety as a disorder; they are the fruit of seeing the effects of adrenaline as a problem. Children's preferences are often manifestations of anxiety coupled with avoidance; it is crucial to help people from a young age to stay with a challenge and not flee from anxiety. Reframing Reframing is deliberately finding the opportunity for growth in a challenge that one had previously viewed negatively. The way the body utilizes hormones depends on how we frame them; reframing is not mere wishful thinking. Start small; don't tackle the biggest challenge first. Cheerfulness Cheerfulness is often synonymous with courage. The family is where we first learn to see challenges as opportunities. If parents foster a smiling approach to challenges, then even a quick thought of them can become a reframe for their children. An essential component of The Heights School's mission is to help students discover the adventure hidden in every challenge they face. Having spoken with Dr. Majeres, we might phrase this skill as the ability to turn the adrenaline of anxiety into the adventure of everyday life. Chapters 2:35 Introduction to Possible Solutions 3:55 A Snapshot of Mindfulness 5:08 A Snapshot of Addictions 6:45 A Quick Biography of Dr. Majeres 9:55 What is Anxiety? 13:34 Helping Young People with Anxiety 16:58 Parents as Savvy Exposure Therapy Coaches 19:12 The "A" Word: Should We Name It? 20:06 Safety Training 23:23 Reframing from a Parent's Perspective 25:21 What is Reframing? 26:28 Game Theory 28:13 Double Exposure, Double Mastery 30:01 Breaking a Fixed Mindset 34:18 The Importance of Being Cheerful 36:50 Why Not to Complain 38:23 Learning to See Challenges as Opportunities 39:10 The Importance of Role Models 42: 55 Reframing Parental Anxiety Additional Resources The Golden Hour with Dr. Kevin Majeres Turning the Knots in Your Stomach into Bows by Jeremy Jamieson, et al. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck Also on The Forum "Learn to Turn": Tom Royals on Parental Prudence Parenting: Patience or Optimism with Andrew Reed The Stressed Son: The Causes of Adolescent Anxiety with Alvaro de Vicente Be the Rock: Fatherhood During Times of Crisis by Kyle Blackmer Toughness for the Adolescent Boy by Kyle Blackmer

In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us that he has "become all things to all people," so that he might better share the blessings of the Good News with more people. To become such a man who can be for all seasons, however, one must have been educated for all seasons. A preparation of this sort is precisely what the Liberal Arts, rooted in the Western Tradition, afford those who wish to pursue them. In Cicero's own words, these arts are apt for both all seasons and all settings: Though, even if there were no such great advantage to be reaped from [the study of literature], and if it were only pleasure that is sought from these studies, still I imagine you would consider it a most reasonable and liberal employment of the mind: for other occupations are not suited to every time, nor to every age or place; but these studies are the food of youth, the delight of old age; the ornament of prosperity, the refuge and comfort of adversity; a delight at home, and no hindrance abroad; they are companions by night, and in travel, and in the country. (Pro archia poeta, 7.16) Today we talk to Dr. Lionel Yaceczko about all things Western: Western Civilization, the Western Tradition, Western Culture. We discuss just what we mean by "the West," and why it has become so controversial in recent years. With Dr. Yaceczko's guidance, we consider why a deep study of The West is still worth protecting and promoting, beyond nostalgia and mere academic interest. In this week's episode, Dr. Yaceczko sets the stage by offering a high level definition of these concepts, and then arguing that there is, indeed, something worth protecting in our tradition. This is especially true if we are interested in critiquing events of our own time and of times past, because the Western tradition is the source of so many of the commonly accepted standards now used to evaluate human conduct. Important concepts such as equality under law and justice for all are born of this culture, extending roots into both Rome and Christianity, and growing in the rich soil of both Roman and non-Roman peoples alike. We might disagree about what they mean or how we use them, but perhaps that's a good place for us to start. And, if so, let's start at the very beginning: there was Rome, the Church, the Romans, and the Gentes. Chapters 2:39 Introduction 3:12 What do we mean by "The West"? 4:20 What is Paedea and in what does it consist? 6:46 Why should we care so much about the Western Tradition? 8:11 A poet on trial: Cicero's Pro archia poeta 16:50 A study for all ages 19:48 Why has the West become so controversial? 34:01 The most egalitarian form of elitism: Sharing the benefits we have received 36:27 Being just judges of the tradition: recognizing both the good and the bad 41:50 Righting wrongs from within: how the tradition gives us the very tools we use to critique it Suggested Reading The Making of Europe: An Introduction to the History of European Unity by Christopher Dawson Pro Archia Poeta by Marcus Tullius Cicero Also on The Forum On Christianity and the Classical Education with Dr. Lionel Yaceczko History the Way it Was by Bill Dardis Defining the Liberal Arts with Dr. Matthew Mehan Is The Heights a Classical School? with Michael Moynihan

In the opening paragraph of his Confessions, St. Augustine writes, "our hearts are restless until they rest in You." For many, the first half of this famous line is a well-known feeling; it is, in many ways, "the feeling of actual life," to put it in Hemingway's own terms. Indeed, there lives deep down a desire in all of our hearts for some mysterious reality — a green light across the bay — which seems to forever escape our grasp. Many are dreamers; fewer have found an object worthy of the greatness of their yearning. What do we do about a situation such as this? And what, if anything, can modern literature do to help us? This week, we sit down with Mike Ortiz to discuss one of the Upper School's new courses in the English Department. The course we discuss considers two men who, though both great American authors of the first half of the twentieth century, differed greatly in both their lifestyles and their styles of writing. The authors are the effervescent and romantic F. Scott Fitzgerald and the macho, realist Ernest Hemingway. For all their differences, however, both men shared at least one trait: a taste for the tragedies of life. Although their styles may diverge syntactically and verbally, the substance of what they express hits the reader with an equally direct force. In this episode, Mike helps us approach some of the darker aspects of these two men's lives and literature, seeing their works in the broader context of their lives and their lives in the broader context of our liberal arts curriculum at The Heights. It's difficult, Mike's interlocutor reminds us, to be truly a man fully alive and not feel much pain, for to have lived fully is to have loved with a full heart; and, on this side of paradise, to have loved means to have suffered much. But, as we hear in the episode, reading and studying great authors such as these and, what is more, learning to see the tragic characters of their works in a broad context may be more than a little help in preparing our students to face the many tragic romances of a dreamer and encounter the realism of true Romance. Chapters 2:17 Background to Hemingway's Good Friday 5:55 A New Model for English Classes 10:44 The Great Contrast: A Romantic and A Realist 16:05 The Iceberg Theory 23:13 How to Read Modern Literature without Becoming a Cynic 26:35 The Danger of Cynicism 28:00 To Get the Feeling of Actual Life 30:05 From The Sun Also Rises 35:04 The Loneliness and Inadequacy of Promiscuity 37:38 From The Great Gatsby 41:14 A Dreamer without an Object 43:30 From My Lost City 44:30 Called Back to Love: Dante and Fitzgerald 45:40 From Troubled Lives to Decline and Death 50:15 The Tragedy Behind the Tragedy Further Reading Today is Friday by Ernest Hemingway The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald My Lost City by F. Scott Fitzgerald Hemingway's Brain by Andrew Farah On Stories by C.S. Lewis The Troubled Catholicism of Ernest Hemingway by Robert Inchausti Also on The Forum Hemingway's Good Friday by Mike Ortiz Modern Literature: On Curating the Contemporary with Mike Ortiz Exploring and Expressing the Human Condition through Literature with Mike Ortiz

Growing up is, at least in part, a process of learning to ask, and learning to answer, certain fundamental questions. These include timeless queries such as "Who am I?" and "Why am I here?" Our sons, in particular, might ask themselves, "What does it mean to be a man?" and "What is the point of my life right now, given that I'm not a man yet?" Our boys' attempts to answer these questions, along with the answers those efforts yield, will lead them to a certain self-awareness—an identity of sorts. Ultimately, we want our boys to know themselves as they are: beloved sons of a Creator God who loves them deeply as a Father. Their lives, then, become an adventure of deepening in that awareness and of living accordingly. The earlier our lads can start down this path, the better. In this episode, our headmaster explores: How we all develop self-awareness How our boys, in particular, do this, especially by means of a "persona" How we, as parents, can foster a healthy persona in our sons. As the great sage, Yogi Berra, reminds us: you've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. This advice is true enough, but we can add that if you don't get going, you never will. So, let us not be paralyzed by perfection. As we help our sons sail out of port, we can trust that with the help of good friends, good teachers, and the Good God Himself, it won't be too long before he finds himself—and, even better, gives that self away out of love for the other. Chapters 2:50 Introduction 5:44 The Anxiety of Not Knowing Where to Go 9:22 Lecture Outline 10:15 How Your Discover Your Who Your Are 11:10 The Inward Way: Learning About Ourselves by Self-examination 16:35 The Outward Way: Learning About Ourselves by Interacting with Others 20:45 How a Young Man Navigates Identity Today 20:58 Comfort in Numbers 29:21 Developing a Persona 32:51 What Parents and Teachers Can Do to Help Boys Develop a Healthy Sense of Self 33:05 Identify and Guide the Persona 39:29 Show Boys Their Deeper Layers 47:52 The Power of Example 52:56 Conclusion: Why You Should Not Worry Also on The Forum Mr. Alvaro de Vicente on Moral Imagination: Part I Mr. Alvaro de Vicente on Moral Imagination: Part II The Issue of Identity: Who does your son think he is? By Mr. Rich Moss

As parents, we cannot help but yearn for our child's success. Obviously this is rooted in a beautiful and healthy love. But sometimes that love can give way to fear, and that fear leads to anxieties that are unhealthy, not only for us, but for our children as well. What can we do about this? How can we care deeply about our children, without worrying so much that our worrying actually begins to weigh on the little guys we're worrying about? This week, we bring to you a recent Heights Lecture given by Mr. Alex Berthé, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and former Heights teacher/mentor. Blending clinical expertise with his own personal experiences, Alex helps us unpack the forces—rooted in love, though often expressed in fear—that are feeding our anxieties. In particular, Alex offers reflections on four key areas: The importance of delighting in your children and really getting to know them, as they really are and not as you wish they were. Why it is essential to put the relationship with your spouse first and to find trusted partners in parenting. The need to leave behind perfectionism: good enough is enough to move our children toward the good. The necessity of deepening our faith in God and respecting the freedom of our children. Anchored in hope and optimism, Alex shares how we, as parents subject to these powerful yet often subconscious forces, can reinforce our boys' confidence in their identity as children of God through rediscovery of our own. As we hear, wisdom in parenting often consists in learning what things to ignore. If wisdom begins in wonder, as we hear from Socrates, then perhaps our worries will end when we learn to view our children—even at their lowest points—with the wonder with which our heavenly Father views us. Highlights What causes parental anxiety? The stages of child development and how parents respond. Striking the balance between demanding too much and letting too much pass by. Why comparisons in parenting can be detrimental. How much energy are you putting into achieving a particular outcome for your son? The importance of reframing in parenting. Why Charity must be our number one priority: don't cry over spilt milk. Wisdom in parenting is learning what to ignore. How our own fears and anxieties can manifest in our anxieties about our children. The importance of being vulnerable. We don't always need a solution; sometimes accompaniment is enough. Love the child that you actually have. Faith and freedom: your child is not you and you are not God. How parents themselves develop, even as their children do. What is the root of parental frustration? Why you should let your child make decisions for himself, even if he may err at times. People over papers: setting priorities straight. More than they show: why we must be attuned to what is occurring beneath the surface. Name it to tame it. Further Reading Compass: A Handbook on Parent Leadership by James B. Stenson Also on The Forum Toughness for the Adolescent Boy by Mr. Kyle Blackmer Learn to Turn: Tom Royals on Parental Prudence

In this week's episode, we sit down with Mr. Michael Moynihan to discuss his new book, The Talk and Beyond. In the book, Michael shows parents how they can best communicate to their children God's plan for human love. The book offers insights on how parents can comprehensively form their children to embrace the beauty of marriage. In this episode, we speak with Michael about: The significance of the title: why the beyond part is crucial. What "the talk" is and how parents can approach it. Why his book is especially relevant in today's current culture. The broader context—both historical and philosophical—for his book's insights. Some key messages that his book seeks to convey. As we hear from Michael in the episode, it is not enough to present God's plan for human love as a series of negative rules. What is needed, rather, is to form men and women who are prepared to embrace the positive adventure that love entails. We need to help our children be daring so that, when they are sent into the world, they will be prepared to live out that crusade of manliness which our world needs, and to undo the savage work of those who see man as merely a beast. "To be happy," wrote St. Josemaria, "what you need is not an easy life but a heart which is in love." And, we might add, to have a heart in love is not the work of a single moment, but the task of a whole life. Indeed, this is the task of each day: to grow ever deeper in love. Show Highlights The meaning of the title The talk: what it is and how to do it Why the beyond part is more important How to communicate the beauty of God's plan for the love between a man and a woman Why both indirect and direct means of formation are necessary Why it is not enough to just have the talk and then move on Importance of the book in today's culture. How this book relates to Michael's other projects Why a child's identity ought to be rooted in God On the broader context for navigating cultural trends What is the role of educators in these matters? How literature, movies, and other forms of entertainment shape our children's notion of love The importance of telling the love story of mom and dad How do you prepare kids to enter a wounded world Why we need to set our sights very high Further Reading Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier Decisive Parenting by Michael Moynihan The Father and His Family by Michael Moynihan

On this week's episode, we discuss technology with Mr. John Beatty, IT director at The Heights School. While in past episodes we have spoken about smartphones, social media, and other forms of digital technology, in this episode we turn our attention particularly to the use of the internet on desktop computers. As always, our aim is not merely to put up walls and make rules, but rather to help our sons grow in freedom. Our sons are not machines to be programmed, but rather humans to be formed; and this means that their intellect and will must be engaged. In the end, we want to graduate men who are prepared to embrace all that is good in the modern world, and so it is important that they be capable of using technology well. To this end, Mr. Beatty offers advice that is not only technical, but also human: What are some overarching themes parents should keep in mind as they begin to introduce their children to technology? Computer security is not perfect; a filter is insufficient. It is important to consider the human aspects of technology use. A relationship of trust is fundamental. All things in due time; it is important to consider the age of our children. What age would you begin to introduce your child to the internet? Need to see the internet as a tool, not a toy; introduce it according to need, not whim. Important to keep the computer in a public place Important to help them to use this machine, just as we do when teaching our children to drive. It can be helpful to have different accounts. How would you introduce more freedom when the child reaches middle school? Use parental controls as guard rails to help them, as they grow in virtue. Teach them to use their time well. Helpful to have the default setting be more locked down and then add things as needed. How do you approach the transition from middle to upper school? Remember that filters and walls will only prevent around 80% of negative content. Parents have the responsibility to be attentive to their children's computer use. As they grow, you can increase their freedom, just as one does with driving a car. Is checking our child's accounts a breach of trust? It is important to build relationships outside of negative rules. Think of the internet as analogous to eating. How should parents who are not technologically savvy approach these questions? Helpful to use physical metaphors. Google is your friend. Ask other parents for help! Also on The Forum Virtuous Use of Technology with Mr. Joe Cardenas Digital Minimalism with Cal Newport Computers and Technology in Education at The Heights by Michael Moynihan When is Your Son Ready for a Smartphone with Mr. de Vicente When is He Ready for a Smartphone with Mr. Alex Berthe

We have often heard it said that parents are the primary educators of their children. Among others, we find the seeds of this idea in Cicero, for whom nature herself has instilled a "strangely tender love" for one's children. It is likewise hinted at in Aquinas, who referred to the parental care of young children as a sort of "spiritual womb". More to the point, just over half a century ago The Church herself, in Gravissimum educationis, has reminded us of this fundamental fact: "since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most serious obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators." For this reason we view education as a partnership and as a co-conspiracy for the good of the boy. In other episodes we have discussed the role of parents as educators of their children. Similarly, we have considered the school's side of the great conspiracy for the good of the boy. We are aware of our duties, of how we sometimes fall short as teachers, and of our obligation to rise and fight to the end for the good for the good of our students. In this week's episode, we shift our focus to the role of parents and their duties towards school and community in the educational partnership. Alvaro responds to the following questions: What is some general advice for parents when they enter into partnership with a school? Enter the partnership wisely; know what the school is about. Enter the partnership fully, without eroding any piece of what the school has to offer both curricularly and extracurricularly. Stay on task when your child encounters a difficulty; the goal is education, not pain-free comfort. What is the general relationship between parents and their child viz. the school? The formation of the whole person Avoid advocating and over-protecting Conspire with the school for the good of the child Match the culture of school and the culture of the home. What is the task of parents as co-partners with the parents of their children's friends? It is important to know the parents of your children's friends Take an interest in your son's friends not merely as a group, but as individuals. Work together with your son's friends' parents What is the role of parents viz. their child's teachers? Be a matchmaker: strengthen your son's relationship with his teachers, just as his teachers should support a child's relationship with his parents Clarify with a teacher if there any question about what is happening at school Be honest with teachers, providing information that you think would facilitate his work in the formation of your child Show Highlights Parents and teachers: the conspiracy for the good What a school can hope for from the parents in this benevolent conspiracy What is the general role of parents? What does that actually mean for parents to be primary educators? Parents' task with regard to their relationship with son Parents as co-partners with other parents The role of parents as partners of their son's teachers Also on The Forum Family Culture with Mr. Alvaro de Vicente On Home as Social Hub with Mr. Tom Royals Ways to Foster a Family Culture by Mr. Alvaro de Vicente Creating a Culture of Learning in the Home by Mr. Alvaro de Vicente Parents as Primary Educators by Mr. Michael Moynihan "The Talk": On the Role of Schools and Fathers with Mr. Michael Moynihan

It is not on bread alone that man lives, but also on every word that he receives. And just as one's diet shapes his bodily growth, so too does one's verbal digest contribute to his interior development. Of course, not every sort of bodily growth is good; and, likewise, not every slogan that one receives is in itself spiritually salutary. In this week's episode, Mr. Kyle Blackmer considers the ways in which phrases, lyrics, mantras, slogans—in a word, the words we hear repeatedly—shape the imagination, at times for good and, at other times, for ill. In the context of education and parenting, it is particularly important that we attend to the ways in which these oft-repeated lines may subtly influence our children. Even more, it is crucial that we help our children think actively for themselves about what they consume; for without the engagement of one's own mind, a child remains deprived of that precious fruit, from which a liberal arts education derives its name: freedom. Surrounding our children with words both wise and witty, not only will their minds be directed to what is true, their hearts will not be far from what is good. Show Highlights: How phrases, mantras, slogans, commercials, advertising, lyrics influence our thoughts. From thoughts to words, words to action, and action to character Why we should be thoughtful about what we and our children consume From where do these phrases come? Is it all bad? The reason for hope How to help your child be an prudent listener The power of repetition What is the impact of these messages on boys? Maria Montessori and the absorbent mind How the young mind is particularly impressionable and why this matters Striking a balance between lecturing and letting it all in Beyond negation alone: the importance of drowning evil in an abundance of good How to turn slogans to the good We are always learning; the question is what are we learning? Why you should make a family motto Also on The Forum Creating a Culture of Learning in the Home by Alvaro de Vicente Ways to Foster a Family Culture by Alvaro de Vicente "Learn to Turn" with Tom Royals Forming Your Young Son's Conscience with Colin Gleason Shaping Your Son's Moral Imagination with Alvaro de Vicente

This week on HeightsCast, we bring to you a lecture from the 2022 Teaching Vocation Conference. In this lecture, Head of Lower School, Mr. Colin Gleason, offers advice on how to prepare for the teaching profession. Although the ultimate preparation for teaching is teaching itself, he nevertheless offers us six verbs—actions—that great teachers do well and that aspiring teachers would do well to work on. A great teacher speaks Teachers communicate their ideas primarily through words. In order to do this well, the ability to speak publicly is a sine qua non. and to draw out from students ideas of their own Teaching is more than the delivery of information. A teacher must first win over his students. Speaking well—holding a student's attention like a preacher does his congregation or a singer her audience—is necessary to this end. Concrete suggestion: tell stories. Even in the maths and sciences, good teaching is animated by good storytelling. Practice with friends and family. A great teacher listens Teaching does not consist in simply signaling what is on a page. It is a two way street. A teacher is like an orchestral conductor, who moves between score and sound, adjusting as needed. A common bad habit of teachers is over-taching, that is: talking too much. In order to gauge students' reception, a teacher must be attentive to them in real time. Teaching is personal, so the teacher should seek to listen not only to the group as a whole, but also to each student as an individual. Teaching is, at root, assisting parents. A great teacher listen also to parents, who are the primary educators. Concrete suggestion: find a good mentor. In order to listen well, we need personal guidance and someone, who listens to us. A great teacher sees Seeing is paramount to the personal approach. A crippling bad habit: prejudice, that is to judge too soon, before one sees the actual reality of the student before him. Judging quickly blinds a teacher. One of the beauties of the teaching profession is seeing the growth of a student. Concrete suggestion: we need to be artists, which, in the first place, means seeing. Teachers mold souls and to do this, they must have the intention of seeing as an artist. In our daily lives, now, in our families and at work, are we attentive to the people around us? A great teacher laughs A teacher ought to enjoy being with his students, to be caught up in the sense of awe and wonder at the student he serves. Teachers need to have a sense of humor. Taking oneself too seriously could be a death nail as a teacher. Although we are grown up, we need not have grown old. Concrete suggestion: remember the art of play. A teacher should remember that he is still part boy; his job is a joyful one. A great teacher studies A teacher must be continually learning. Study fuels the teacher, keeping his mind fresh. A teacher models study for his students; they see his actions and draw lessons therefrom. Concrete suggestion: read and study, even apart from any degree programs. What a teacher needs is two-fold: to know his subject well and to love his students even more. A great teacher explores Education is an adventure, which means that a teacher should be in the trenches alongside his students. Teaching comes from the person; it is an overflow of his own sense of adventure. Adventure does not mean haphazard. It takes work to be creative. Spontaneity in the moment is often the fruit of diligent planning before. Concrete suggestion: exercise prudence in choosing what school you work at. Three aspects to consider in a school: Cohesive spirit and identity; imagine yourself living that spirit. Content of the curriculum (especially books taught). Freedom There are many mediocre teachers in the world, so if you are going to be a teacher, become a great one. This, of course, does not mean perfection, but rather continual improvement. To be a great teacher is not to have made it, but to be continually on the way. In Mr. Gleason's words, a teacher is like the guide on a white water rafting expedition. Indeed, we are all in the same boat and, not only are we learning, we are laughing. Also on The Forum Guidance for Aspiring Teachers with Alvaro de Vicente Seneca on the Teacher's Job by Tom Cox The Teacher as Liberal Artist with Dr. Matthew Mehan and Mr. Tom Longano Cultivating Friendship in the Classroom by Austin Hatch Aristotle on the Student's Job by Tom Cox Further Reading The Art of Teaching by Gilbert Highet Only the Lover Sings by Josef Pieper Ben Hogan's Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf by Ben Hogan

A teacher is one who leads while walking backward. Even more, he is one who leads with the humble hope that he will one day be surpassed by those who are following him; for while a teacher may have traveled down the proverbial path a time or two before, he must nevertheless rediscover it with each new student. In this week's episode we sit down with Mr. Joe Bissex to discuss the importance of humility in the classroom. In the episode, we consider the following questions: What is humility? What is it not? What are some markers of humility? What is the role of a teacher in the classroom? What does it mean for a teacher to point the way? As a teacher, how do you admit failure? Why is it important to do so? What is the connection between generosity and humility in the classroom? As you'll hear, if a teacher remains humble and sincerely elicits his students' contributions, it does not infrequently happen that what he had missed on his first ten treks, he may—with the fresh insight of a new student—discover on the eleventh. And in this discovery, both teacher and student will have the joy of knowing that both are disciples of the one Teacher, who is the Truth itself, and whose way makes all things new. Show Highlights What is the role of the teacher in the classroom? How does a teacher lead? Why a teacher should hope his student will one day surpass him Humility as rejoicing in the ways one's students will–or already have–surpassed you Why it is important for a teacher to humbly recognize his failures How sincere questions can lead to the greatest of discoveries The need to petition for student's help Why a teacher should be open to the changing his mind Teaching and the unexpected Teaching is modeling a way of thinking, not the mere conveyance of facts Why a teacher does not need to have all the answers ahead of time Humility in testing: how to assess students in a way that goes beyond fact checking alone Joy as the fruit of humility The importance of having the generosity to pray for one's students, and the humility to ask one's student's for prayers. Also on The Forum Guidance for Aspiring Teachers with Alvaro de Vicente Seneca on the Teacher's Job by Tom Cox The Teacher as Liberal Artist with Dr. Matthew Mehan and Mr. Tom Longano Cultivating Friendship in the Classroom by Austin Hatch Aristotle on the Student's Job by Tom Cox

While we often speak of the virtues we wish to see in our children, it is perhaps less common that we reflect on the particular virtues that we need to foster in ourselves. In this episode Mr. Tom Royals, 40+ year teaching veteran and Assistant Headmaster of The Heights, discusses the importance of parental prudence and its progeny: meekness, patience, and humility. In this week's episode, we sit down with long-time Heights father and Assistant Headmaster, Mr. Tom Royals, to speak about the virtues of parenting. From his wealth experience, Mr. Royals shares with us practical advice on the habits to make the home bright and cheerful schools of virtue. Beyond mere theorizing about virtue, Tom's anecdotal approach in this episode gives us concrete insights into how each moment in the home, whether a setback or a success, can be an occasion for growing in virtue. Parenting may at times be a messy affair, but as we hear from Mr. Royals it is also a joyful one. In his own words, it is a dance. If we want to help our children mature into men and women of character, then we ourselves need to learn to be childlike, which means always beginning again no matter how old we may—always finding new ways to grow in those virtues which make us not only into mature adults, but also keep us young at heart. Show Highlights The virtues that parents of older need to live Often talk about virtues needed in keds, but can forget about virtues that we need to foster in ourselves The family is the first school: parents cannot abdicate their call to be educators It is a journey and a messy affair; no thornless roses here. How we can learn to turn all circumstances into occasions for loving God Parents cannot hide: kids seeing everything The adventure of the evening and the importance of leaving one's anxieties at the door Handling the little things of the day Kids model our manner and our conduct Need to keep resetting the button with children The importance of being present and accompanying our children The art of fatherhood in three movements: be there, show love and interest to your wife and each child, you're gonna make mistakes: laugh at them. Prudence requires you to know your children in their particularity Parenting is often preparing for the future; we are parenting future forty year olds Prayer and self-knowledge are indispensable How do you get children out of themselves? The romance of daily life in the home Need to be attentive to the time and place of corrections Propose, don't impose. Also on The Forum Parents as Primary Educators Decisive Parenting Parenting: Patience or Optimism? Respectful Dominion: Colin Gleason on Discipline Family Culture with Mr. Alvaro de Vicente

Headmaster Alvaro de Vicente helps us examine our own perception, a parents and teachers, of our boys. If we view them as budding protectors, we'll treat them one way; if we see them as future "compliers," it will be another. But what happens when we want to see them as protectors but treat them as compliers subconsciously? Alvaro helps parents and teachers form a vision of boys befitting their nature, and offers a road map to make that vision a reality in the lives and identities of the boys now in the process of becoming the men we need.

In the first talk of the 2022 Teaching Vocation Conference, Rich Moss describes some of the joys and travails of teaching, as he seeks to answer the question, "why teach?" In short, because we are called to it, because we love reality, because we love teaching, and because we love our students.

This week, we sit down with Dr. Lionel Yaceczko to discuss his new book on the fourth century Roman grammarian, Ausonius of Bordeaux. In looking at his life, we dive deeper into various aspects of classical education. As Ausonius lived through an important period of religious, political, and cultural change, considering his life also affords us the opportunity to think about how the advent of Christianity affected (and continues to affect) classical education. With Christmas fast approaching, perhaps this discussion may serve to remind us that teaching is pointing and that its ultimate purpose is to point us to the Teacher. Show Highlights Who is Ausonius and why should educators study him? The life and times of a Roman teacher, beaurocrat, and Christian convert What Ausonius's life can teach about classical education What is a Quaestor? What is a grammaticus? A rhetor? Education in Late Antiquity The most egalitarian form of elitism? How the liberal arts can liberate The importance of memorization in education How the advent of Christianity changed classical education A new canon for education: introducing Sacred Scripture to the liberal arts May I be so bold? Rhetoric and persuasion in Late Antiquity What is a litterator? On the stages of education before the grammaticus: Abecedarium, elementa, and the road to the masterpieces On the importance of study for teachers, and teaching for researchers Augustine and the vir perfectus as vir sapiens in the service of the Word From philologoi to theologoi: how Revelation changes everything Suggested Reading Ausonius Grammaticus: The Christening of Philology in the Late Roman West by Lionel Yaceczko Power and Persuasion in Late Antiquity: Towards a Christian Empire by Peter Brown The World of Late Antiquity by Peter Brown The Regensburg Address by Pope Benedict XVI Also on the Forum Defining the Liberal Arts What's in a Name? Shedding Light on the Dark Ages History the Way it Was… and the Way It Should Be

Continuing with the theme of mentoring, this week Mr. David Maxham discusses how we, as parents and teachers, can better mentor struggling students by taking a step back and focusing on the basics. He offers three practical guideposts for these wonderful guys to strive for as they take steps toward becoming the man they were made to be. We remain, as always, optimistic. After establishing a relationship of trust with your mentees, Mr. Maxham recommends helping our boys structure their days around the following three key moments: Waking up in the morning Midday break Going to sleep at night Anchoring resolutions to these three moments, Mr. Maxham explains, helps the boys to achieve their goals. As half the battle in achieving a goal lies in being mindful of it, attaching them to parts of the day that occur without fail can be a strategy for success. A good place to start when building the foundation could be: a morning offering after waking up, a brief moment of recollection at midday, and an examination of conscience before going to bed at night. As the boys develop more goals, having this framework in place will be a helpful support. Moreover, as parents, we can help our sons develop these habits by practicing them both ourselves and together as a family. A quick morning offering at breakfast or a brief moment of family prayer in the evening are excellent ideas. And asking our children to pray for us is a great way to not only help them pray, but also to help each of us, who, as we all know, need all the grace we can get. Although there are many things that a six year old boy may not be able to help his parents with, he can pray for them; and that is worth the whole world. Show Highlights Where to begin with a mentee who is struggling The dangers of overwhelming mentees with too much How to help your mentee develop goals The importance of framing questions with the right language How you son can put a structure in place to get to the root of problems Why parents and educators need to have long-term vision Habits are not things that you just turn on and off Keep it simple: the three key moments in the day and how to anchor resolutions to them How many goals should a mentee work on at once? How parents can coach their sons in the foundations Ask your children to pray for you Also on The Forum How to Help Your Son When He Struggles Academically: Part I How to Help Your Son When He Struggles Academically: Part II Baby Steps: Heights Mentors Goals for Mentees in the New Year Why do Boys Need Mentors? Finding Mentors After Graduation: Pat Kilner on Find Your Six

What's your approach to discipline? This week we feature a lecture delivered at The Heights by Mr. Colin Gleason, Lower School Head offering his thoughts on this question. He can't answer for us as parents, but he can share his own philosophy as a teacher and school head. Regardless of whether you are thinking classroom or kitchen, Mr. Gleason encourages us to foster a culture of respectful dominion. And this respect relates to our son's disposition towards us. But it also has import for our respect toward them--towards their dignity and their nature, both as humans and as human boys. Please include links to books: To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee Orthodoxy, G.K. Chesterton

In this week's episode, we sit down with Pat Kilner, a graduate of The Heights, former Heights teacher, Heights dad, and now Chairman of the Board of Directors to discuss his new book, Find Your Six: Stop Lead Generating and Start Building Influence. Whether you are in college or high school, a young professional or a seasoned veteran, this week's conversation centers on something that is crucial for everyone: mentorship. This mentorship is something that we sometimes take for granted as Heights students, but what happens after The Heights, when your mentor is no longer hunting you down after 3rd period for a check in? How do you find good counsel then, on foreign turf and starting from ground zero? Drawing on both his personal experience and formal research for the book, Pat encourages us to find and foster relationships with influencers. As the conversation continues, Pat explains that influencers are really nothing other than great mentors and that perhaps more than anything else, it is finding good mentors that will help one be successful both in his professional career and in his personal life. To this end, he offers advice to college students and young professionals about how to find possible mentors, secure meetings, and approach that first conversation with sincere curiosity and a desire to learn from the wisdom that the other has to offer. In the end, Pat shares that these relationships should grow into life-long friendships of mutual benefit. The aim is not to pull mere facts and data points, as one does from google, but to develop an authentic relationship with someone who is a living source of wisdom and to whom one can turn throughout the course of his life. Moreover, once we have benefitted from this wisdom, it's our turn to pass it on. Way leads on to way and the tradition continues. Show Highlights The importance of mentoring both at the Heights and beyond Is it necessary to be excited about what you are doing on a daily basis? Why treating people as commodities is not only bad ethics, but also bad business How to find mentors and influencers Three characteristics to look for in a mentor: longevity, implicit trust, ownership mentality What is needed in a mentor is wisdom, not mere data points Reframing the college years: what would look like if by the end of college, you had acquired 4-6 deep mentorship relationships? What are good ways for college students to find mentors? How mentors can help you find mentors in new places. Why students should ask their professors out to lunch or coffee What is means to form your own "personal board of directors" How to find mentors, even if you are unsure of your professional path Why parents ought to let their children take ownership of their school work early on How to approach the art of the meeting What can parents get from the book? How do influencers and mentors relate to vocation? Recommended Reading Find Your Six: Stop Lead Generating and Start Building Influence Also on The Forum Mentor's Compass Why Boys Need Mentors The Odyssey, Mentors, and Humanitas How to Guide Conversations with a Mentee

In this episode of HeightsCast, we feature the speech delivered by Headmaster, Alvaro de Vicente, to attendants of The Heights School's 2021 Fall Open House.

This week on HeightsCast, we feature a recording of the first Heights Lecture event of the new school year, featuring Alvaro de Vicente: What is optimism? Is it naive to be optimistic? How is optimism related to hope? How, in the end, do we raise sons who can look life's challenges squarely in the face with the the hint of a smile on their lips, knowing that all is in good hands? Join our Headmaster, Alvaro de Vicente, for an evening lecture on how to raise optimistic, hopeful young men. Our time, like most all others, has its challenges. Spend an evening with fellow parents interested in keeping their sons' visage fixed firmly on the fullness of reality, and the opportunities of the present moment.

Bad news is all around us. It always has been. It always will be. As if personal and family challenges weren't enough, we have an attention economy that seems dead set on giving a generation of young people chronic anxiety about seemingly cataclysmic events. How can we prepare our children to handle bad news? Quite simply, by handling it well ourselves, remaining saintly and cool under fire. How do we do that? Listen in to learn more. Additional Resources: Mr. Mehan's Mildly Amusing Mythical Mammals Dr. Mehan's piece in the Washington Examiner

In this week's episode, headmaster Alvaro de Vicente helps us develop a philosophy of technology. Building off previous conversations on The Forum with Cal Newport, Mr. de Vicente takes a deep dive into the topic of smartphones. In particular, he helps us answer the following questions: How can parents discern if a smartphone would be beneficial for their son? When is the right time to entrust him with this powerful tool? Under what circumstances? Will waiting to give your son a smartphone render him ill-prepared for college and beyond? More provocatively, is it correct to assume that holding off on the smartphone is merely delaying the inevitable? As Mr. de Vicente explains, parents' discussions of these questions ought principally to consider their son's level of self-mastery. Like any tool, if a smartphone is to be of help rather than harm, the user must be prepared to use it and not be used by it. On a practical level, the two basic questions to be asked are: What are my son's current needs? Can my son master this piece of technology? To answer the first question, Mr. de Vicente suggests that parents consider: The purposes of technology: communication, information, organization, and entertainment. The possible (objective) needs of the boy: calling, texting, GPS. What tool--whether a smartphone, flip-phone, or some other device--will satisfy the specific needs without being detrimental to the boy's ultimate good. In order to answer the third point, it is helpful to look at whether a boy has demonstrated self-mastery in the following areas: Property: clothes, school materials, sports equipment. Spaces: room, bed, closet, desk. Time: morning and evening routines, weekends and holidays. Urges: speaking, food, desire to have a phone. While no-one is perfect, if a child has not displayed a certain level of self-mastery in these areas of his life, it will be hard for him to use a smartphone well. Indeed, it is far easier for a boy to put a shirt on a hanger or make use of a calendar than it is for him to resist the algorithms of technologies whose aim it is for him to be unable to. If he does not do the former, one ought not assume he will do the latter. In the end, using smartphones well is not a matter of learning how to navigate technology per se, which is a skill that is not learned with much difficulty. It is, rather, a matter of developing self-mastery, which is a virtue that requires both time and perhaps more than little toil. Show Highlights How to develop a personal philosophy of technology In general, what is a good approach to smartphones? Questions parents should ask themselves when deciding whether their child needs (and is ready for) a smartphone What are the purposes of a phone? Are all needs equal? How do you know if your child is capable of mastering a smartphone? What parents can do to limit bad uses of technology Does a high schooler need a smartphone in order to be prepared for college? Is there a right age to give your child a smartphone? Challenge the assumption that the smartphone is inevitable for everyone Some alternative phones to the traditional smartphone What to do if a parent has mistakenly given their child a smartphone Also from The Forum Digital Minimalism: Creating a Philosophy of Personal Technology Use Digital Minimalism: Creating a Philosophy of Personal Technology Use, Part II

Like a tree, whose roots are firmly planted in the ground and whose branches reach toward the sky above, education at The Heights is at once traditional and forward looking. While drawing liberally from the western canon and "the best that has been thought and said," to borrow Matthew Arnold's phrase, a Heights education is nevertheless at home in the modern world. Neither the buried archives of special collections, nor the high-rising offices of enterprising tech start-ups are uncharted waters for Heights alumni. Because of the double-nature of our approach to education, the question of how The Heights fits into the classical school movement produces an interesting and important conversation. To help us think through the ways in which The Heights is in dialogue with both the classical and contemporary worlds, we welcome Head of Upper School, Michael Moynihan, back to HeightsCast. With over twenty-five years of experience as a teacher, Michael offers us a nuanced discussion of: How a traditional approach to education can embrace the advances of modernity without losing its roots. The ways in which modernity, properly contextualized, can help correct certain biases latent in classical thought. The role of professional preparation in a liberal arts education. Whether or not one's work is clearly connected to the classical ideal of contemplation, the goal of education converges in the heart of a man who knows he is a son of God; and who, like the Son of God, sanctifies his ordinary work. Show Highlights Is the Heights a classical school? How does the Heights fit into the classical school movement? The role of professor John Dewey in progressive educational trends. How Dorothy Sayers' speech on "The Lost Tools of Learning" sparked a revival in traditional education. Ought from an is? How our anthropology informs our education The baby in the bathwater: some positives of mainstream education today viz. the acquisition of professional skills. How modern thought corrects some shortcomings of the classical tradition. The vision of St. Josemaria and what this means for education at The Heights. How education can help students to passionately love the world. Sanctification of ordinary work and divine filiation. Work as a sharing in the home of Nazareth. Is professional work a distraction from contemplation? The teaching vocation Suggested Reading The Lost Tools of Learning by Dorothy Sayers Passionately Loving the World by St. Josemaria Escriva

In certain school systems, it is perhaps more common to find students dissecting samples and diagraming abstractions. The boys in the Lower School at The Heights, however, begin their scientific formation not in a lab, among dead specimens, but in nature, among living creatures. Their text book is not full of paper, but of paper's source, trees; for their primary text is the book of nature itself. In this week's episode, Eric Heil takes us outdoors--so to speak--for a discussion of natural history. With over fourteen years of experience teaching at The Heights, in addition to having spent time as a researcher both for at the Bronx Zoo and the Smithsonian's National Zoological Park, Eric offers us thoughts both practical and lofty. First, Eric explains what natural history is and how it differs from other ways of approaching science at the elementary level. Then, he considers what a typical natural history lesson might look like. Next, Eric expounds the elements of nature journaling, a typical exercise for a natural history class. In particular, he explains John Muir Laws' three step framework for nature journaling: Explain what you see. Expound on what the observed reality makes you think of. Wonder about what you do not yet know. Lastly, the discussion takes a turn for the transcendental, as Eric considers some of the existential fruits of natural history. Beyond books and diagrams, and indeed even the boy's own words and sketches, the study of natural history draws students into that mystery which moves those animals they have found. Perhaps this is the reason why natural history has been deemed the most important subject taught in the Valley: the silence that it instills is the beginning of a prayer; indeed, the greatest prayer, which is gratitude. Show Highlights What is natural history and why does it matter? Campus as the textbook itself How is a natural history class different from other ways of teaching science at the elementary level? Jean-Henri Fabre and the importance of direct observation The parts of a typical natural history lesson What is a nature journal and how do you make one? The benefits of studying natural history How natural history integrates into an education for realism. Existential goods of natural history Why is natural history the most important subject taught in the Lower School? Suggested Reading Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Botsford Comstock A Natural History of North American Trees by Donald Culross Peattie Nature's Events: A Notebook of the Unfolding Seasons by John Serrao Observing Insect Lives by Donald Stokes (and several other Stokes Nature Guides) Keeping a Nature Journal by Clare Walker Leslie and Charles E. Roth Botany in a Day: The Patterns Method of Plant Identification by Thomas J. Elpel Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv The Laws Guide to Nature Drawing and Journaling by John Muir Laws (and www.johnmuirlaws.com) The Naturalist's Notebook by Nathaniel T. Wheelwright & Bernd Heinrich natureoutside.com nature journal website by Steven Stolper The Forest by Roger Caras The Tree Identification Book by George W. D. Symonds Sketching Outdoors in Autumn by Jim Arnosky Find the Constellations by H. A. Rey (of Winnie-the-Pooh fame) Insects (A Golden Guide from St. Martin's Press) Revised Peterson Field Guide to Birds of Eastern and Central North America, 6th Edition (Peterson Field Guides) Also on The Forum Webinar: How to Keep a Nature Journal On Nature Journals and Observant Souls "Can I catch it?": On Handling Wildlife Reading Recommendations for Keeping a Nature Journal Why We Need Exposure to Nature Nature Deficit Disorder: The Importance of Green Time

Ray Bradbury once remarked that, to destroy a culture, burning books is not necessary; all that is needed is to convince people to stop reading them. And, of course, the easiest way to sway people from reading is to keep them illiterate. Indeed, this is also the best way to rob them of their liberty. Frederick Doublas once remarked that "once you learn to read you will forever be free." Now, it may be true that more people are literate today than ever before. Some statistics indicate that around eighty-six percent of adults in the world can read and write at a basic level. Compare this statistic to data from the early nineteenth century, when only twelve percent of people in the world could read, and there is indeed much to celebrate. But, what about other forms of literacy? Are people more culturally literate now? Can they read deeply, for understanding and not merely for a surface-level comprehension? What does it even mean to be literate? As educators--and particularly educators drawing from and adding to the liberal arts tradition--it is paramount that we consider such questions. Here to talk about reading and its many forms is Dr. Lionel Yaceczko, lover of languages and teacher of Classics at The Heights School. In this episode, Dr. Yaceczko sits down for a discussion of Mortimer Adler's How to Read a Book. Using Adler's book as a springboard, we first run through the three kinds of reading, specified by the end to which they aim: Reading for information Reading for entertainment Reading for understanding Second, Dr. Yaceczko helps us tackle what he calls the perennial problems that can make reading difficult, namely vocabulary and syntax, as well as some of the stumbling blocks that are particular to contemporary readers. Third, we consider Adler's four levels of reading: Elementary Inspectional Analytical Syntopical In particular, Dr. Yaceczko delves into the third level of reading--analytical--the preparation for which Adler argues ought to be the goal of a liberal arts education at the secondary school level. To be sure, the development of the capacity for analytical reading is no small task, but it is well worth the effort; for the difficulty of the endeavor comes from the loftiness of the goal. Despite the ardor of the task, rest assured: with patience our sons--and ourselves--may little-by-little grow into better readers. After all, the attainment of any goal, no matter how lofty, begins with small steps; it is from the valley that one ascends to the heights. Show Highlights What is the most controversial thing we teach at The Heights? How Classics are the most egalitarian form of elitism What is literacy? The three kinds of reading and what this means for literacy Why is reading great books so difficult? Two perennial problems for readers Adler's four levels of reading Syntopical and Collocative reading What Analytical reading is and why liberal arts high schools should foster it How reading and writing inform each other What makes a work of literature beautiful? Can true beauty be popularized? The three steps to reading deeply What parents can do to help their sons overcome the challenges of analytical reading Love: the strongest motivator Suggested Reading How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren Aristotle for Everybody by Mortimer J. Adler Also on the Forum Forming Deep Workers with Cal Newport Eulexia: The Goal of Deep Reading by Lional Yaceczko Summer Reading with a Purpose with Tom Longano How to Master the Art of Reading Outside by Tom Longano Dr. Mehan on Children's Literature and Human Flourishing: Introducing the Handsome Little Cygnet Mentioned in the Episode A Crack in Creation by Jennifer Doudna and Samuel H. Sternberg Timaeus by Plato Great Expectations by Jane Austin Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph J. Ellis

Dr. Matt Mehan introduces us to The Handsome Little Cygnet, a delightful book about a Cygnet growing up in the heart of the big apple. Our fluffy hero introduces his human counterparts to concepts of nature, mercy, and regaining the way after it's been lost. Parents, too, can see here an example of patience and optimism while guiding our cygnets towards flourishing, naturally. The Handsome Little Cygnet (https://www.amazon.com/Handsome-Little-Cygnet-Matthew-Mehan/dp/1505120608/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=handsome+little+cygnet&qid=1627673893&sr=8-1)

What Winston Churchill once said of buildings, we too can say of family culture. Namely, that we first shape it, and thereafter it shapes us. Indeed, this is especially true for our children, who are particularly impressionable. Whether it is the artwork in a classroom, a coach's demeanor on the sports field, or that stack of books in the living room, our children notice and are formed by everything that surrounds them. Although summer break is now in full swing, parenting has no vacations. Rather, in many ways parenting intensifies during the breaks, for it is during these times that our homes are perhaps most full. As such, now is a fitting moment to consider the culture we are creating in our homes. To this end, this week we revisit an episode from our archives. Based on a letter he sent to parents, in this episode, Mr. Alvaro de Vicente offers us seven ideas on how to foster a healthy and happy culture in the home: Have a Library at home. Establish and protect order in common areas of your home. Aim to have dinner together everyday. Engineer one common conversation during dinner. Dedicate a nightly time to family prayer. Spend time with the elderly and lonely. Give to charity. As a school is like a boy's second home, the home is his first school. And it is in this school that we, as parents, can help him cultivate those virtues, which he will carry with him throughout his entire life--and, God willing, into the next. Show Highlights Why family culture is an important part of your children's formation More than mere words: what you do is often more important than what you say Is an orderly home an unrealistic goal? How to improve family dinner time Thoughts on how to build a family library on a budget Why a brief time of family prayer can be better than a long time How can we reform a family culture gone astray? It's not about perfection, but its pursuit Also on the Forum Creating a Culture of Learning in the Home 20 Ways to Improve the Family Dinner

If the recent pandemic has taught us anything, it is that the unexpected is to be expected. While certainly not always easy, we have also perhaps learned that the unexpected can be an invitation for adventure, if only we have the eyes to see it as such. Indeed, for many students around the country, the unexpected pandemic was a spur to the adventure of a gap year--or two. Now, as many of our students will begin--or perhaps return--to college in the coming months, it is fitting that we revisit an old podcast, originally published in 2018, on life after high school. In this episode, we sit down with Arthur Brooks, formerly the president of the American Enterprise Institute and currently a professor both at Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, for a conversation about college and whether it is the right next step for every prep school graduate. In the episode, Dr. Brooks: Challenges the assumption that every prep school grad should attend college right away at any cost. Offers fantastic insights about the entire college experience–from college choice, to choice of majors, to engagement with students and faculty who think differently. Provides helpful guidance to families, as they prudentially discern what is best for each of their children. Now is a perfect time for us--parents, teachers, and students alike--to think more deeply about what college is for; and, indeed, what life is for. In this way, if college is in our son's path, he may thus make the most of his education. And regardless of if college is in his path, he will thus know that this life is best spent refreshing the souls of others and glorifying God in his daily work. Show Highlights Arthur's story and what we can learn from his non-conventional path What is really needed to succeed: hard work and personal responsibility Should everyone study the liberal arts? Is the value of college purely economic? Why all colleges are not equal Busting the myth that college is for everyone What are prep schools preparing students for? The dangers of identity politics in education Seven rules for highly effective college students Why you should go where you are not welcomed How to be on missions, whether on a college campus or in the working world Dissolving the stigma around not going to college Suggested Reading The Conservative Heart Gross National Happiness Resources The Art of Happiness

In his famous intellectual and spiritual autobiography, Orthodoxy, G.K. Chesterton remarks that the main problem for philosophers is how they can "contrive to be at once astonished at the world and yet at home in it." The attainment of this double need--for surprise and for security--is, he maintains, at the heart of human happiness. Modernity poses similar questions to educators who, though at home in classical and medieval thought, nevertheless desire to prepare their students to live in the middle of the world. Namely: How can we root our students in those timeless truths, so prized by the ancients and furthered by the medievals, while preparing them to embrace the modern world? How can we form our students to be both contemplative and active, to be comfortable in the country and in the city, so to speak? In Biblical terms: how can we remain in this modern world of ours, and yet not be of it? To help us begin to answer these questions, we welcome to HeightsCast Dr. Daniel Bernardus, a theoretical biologist by training, teacher and tutor at Amsterdam University College by profession, and a philosopher and author by passion. In this episode, Dr. Bernardus introduces us to the ideas of Leonardo Polo, a Spanish philosopher from the University of Navarre, whose work just might offer us a way forward. Can we integrate the modern, the classical, and the Christian? Can we love the modern world and God first? Listen in and see for yourself. Show Highlights Who is Leonardo Polo? How Polo's philosophy can help educators Can modern philosophy be integrated with classical and Christian thought? What Freedom in Quarantine can teach you The roots of modernism and what they can teach us about the way forward The limits of classical thought How medieval monasteries were places of innovation Can anything good come from modernity? How modern science can harmonize with classical philosophy Consequences of modernism in education What is success? Can we measure it? How technological innovation can be pursued for love of God Why the family is essential to education What Leonardo Polo can teach those who are not educators Suggested Reading Freedom in Quarantine Resources Leonardo Polo Institute of Philosophy

Missed Part I? Click here. Continuing last week's conversation, in this episode Dr. Newport delves into two things that have become ubiquitous in our lives: texting and email. Whether it is logistical texts with our kids or emails for work, these two technologies can occupy a large portion of our days. Indeed, even a quick text or email can cost us time, as we shift our attention between different contexts. While texting and email may by now feel like second nature, have we ever stopped to think about how best to use these technologies? In addition to tackling these topics, Cal runs through three practices to help us better spend that treasure which is our time: Practice solitude Quit socials to foster authentic conversations Reclaim true leisure To close, Cal offers some words of wisdom to our graduating seniors, as they head off to college. If they can learn to use technology well, in an integrated and intentional way, they will be at a tremendous advantage. Their time will double, their focus sharpen, and--what is more--they'll form meaningful friendships along the way. Show Highlights The necessity of times of solitude and self-reflection Why you should quit social media and become truly social Reclaim leisure to live more meaningful lives How to integrate texting into a purposeful life What psychology and brain science can teach about texting What the pandemic has shown us about the dual nature of technology The human brain is not a parallel processor and why this matters How companies can better use email to improve workflows The attention capital principle What graduating seniors can learn to make the most of technology in college--and beyond. Suggested Reading Leisure: The Basis of Culture Digital Minimalism A World Without Email Additional Listening Forming Deep Workers, Part I Forming Deep Workers, Part II

For these next two episodes, we welcome back Dr. Cal Newport, professor of computer science at Georgetown University and New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including Digital Minimalism and A World Without Email. In this week's episode, we will focus on the first of these two books, Digital Minimalism, and how to go about developing a deliberate and purposeful approach to our use of technology. And remember, our children are always watching and learning. In next week's episode, we'll dive into a specific application of this philosophy to email and texting as well. But for now, Digital Minimalism. It has been said in other contexts that the choice is not between philosophy and no philosophy, but between good philosophy and bad philosophy; having no philosophy is itself a philosophy, albeit a disastrous one. The same holds true for our philosophy or approach to technology which, although often vital in the modern world, can be dangerous if used mindlessly. In this episode: Learn about the history and psychology of smartphones and social media. Listen to Cal discuss his philosophy of digital minimalism. Hear about the thirty day "digital declutter" and why you should try it for yourselves--maybe even this July? Gain some practical wisdom about implementing the philosophy in your homes including Cal's take on when our sons are ready for their first smart phone. In all, Cal offers us a hopeful view for the future. With the shimmer of novelty beginning to fade, now is the time to think about how to integrate digital technology into our lives and into the lives of our children.

While summer is a time for rest and relaxation, it is also an opportunity for personal growth. Indeed, the increase in external freedom, which the summer months often afford our sons, provides an occasion for growth in interior freedom. In this week's episode, Mr. Joe Cardenas, head of mentoring at The Heights School, discusses how you can help your son make the most of the summer months. To this end, Mr. Cardenas suggests looking at the summer from two perspectives: the bird's eye view and the daily routine. Looking over the summer as a whole--perhaps with a calendar in hand--we can help our sons set goals and make big-picture plans. But goals without effective systems are mere wishes, so we should also encourage our sons to develop a good daily routine that will help him to realize these goals. In particular, Mr. Cardenas suggests five areas for routines: Waking-up and going to bed Reading Life of prayer Physical exercise Acts of service Of course, and as always, encouragement should come in the context of freedom and in an age appropriate manner; we want to help our sons set goals and formulate routines for themselves, not impose our own ideas in an overly rigid manner. One of the great advantages of the summer is, after all, the opportunity for our boys to grow in the use of their freedom. Stay tuned after the podcast for a few other resources that might be helpful as you plan your summer, including a summer-planning guide PDF now available on The Heights Forum. You don't need to subscribe to anything to get it, we just want to help. Also, join us for a follow-up Q&A webinar with Mr. Joe Cardenas and Mr. Bill Dardis (head of the Heights Internship Program). If you have questions about wake-up times, summer jobs, and chores, bring 'em by and we'll discuss. To register for the webinar, visit HeightsForum.org. Show Highlights -How summer can be a time of great personal growth -Two perspectives on the summer: the birds eye view and the daily routine -Ideas on helping your son make use of a calendar -Why increased freedom during the summer is an opportunity for growth in virtue -The importance of systems for success, not just goals -Areas for daily routines: wake-up time, reading plan, life of prayer, physical exercise, service, bed-time -How should parents discuss goals and routines with their son? -Three ways to help your son develop a summer routine: know your son, engage his freedom, share your own goals -Should my son get a job? -Unstructured free time is just as important for older boys as it is for younger boys -Why personal growth is ultimately oriented towards the service of others Suggested Reading Leisure: The Basis of Culture, Josef Pieper Additional Listening Three Components of a Great Lower School Summer Systems for Athletic Success Summer Reading with a Purpose Heights Resources Planning Free Printable Summer Planner PDF Fitness Bodyweight Workout Plan Reading Heights Book Review (A review of contemporary literature for boys) Heights Books (Books read for extra credit at The Heights) Heights Summer Reading Books

What is present in every Platonic dialogue, the subject of one of Cicero's famous letters, and the kind of relationship Christ wished to have with his twelve apostles and with each of us? It is friendship. From facebook friends to philosophic treaties, 70's songs to Tennyson poems, we hear about friendship in many different contexts. But what is authentic friendship? How do we foster it? How do we help our children grow in their friendships? And in the end, how do we help them grow in the friendship of all friendships, namely that with Our Lord? In this week's podcast, David Maxham discusses such questions as these. Based on a talk he recently gave to our senior class, David considers the lofty ideal of friendship and offers practical advice on how to make this ideal a reality. He first discusses why senior year is a fitting time for our students to think more deeply about their relationships, and how a few good friends can make all the difference during their college years (and beyond). He then dives into the importance of admonition and sincerity in authentic friendships, offering insights on the art of amicable correction and the necessity of being vulnerable for forming friendships. Lastly, David turns his attention to how parents can help their children grown in their friendships. As is often the case, here there can be no substitute for practicing what one preaches and patiently preaching what one practices. Show Highlights Why senior year is a fitting moment to discuss friendship What is friendship? Life is a training ground for friendship and growing in love Is this lofty ideal practically possible? The demands of friendship Why one can only have a few good friends in life Admonishing our friends? How to correct with charity and tact Truth is the thing: the importance of sincerity in friendship How our friendships can help us be better friends of Our Lord The importance of patience You have to be a friend (for your children) to have a friend: why modeling good friendships is the best way to help your children grow in their own Resources Alasdair MacIntrye: True friendships are rare, but possible Is Friendship Possible? "We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. What we want is a religion that is right where we are wrong. We do not want, as the newspapers say, a church that will move with the world. We want a church that will move the world." ― G. K. Chesterton, Charles Dickens: A Critical Study

Mr. de Vicente concludes this three part series on raising iGen. Given the forces and impact of our digital world and general culture, our headmaster presents considerations and strategies for parents seeking to accompany their sons on the path to Christian Manhood.

Mr. de Vicente continues his discussion of iGen, turning from the protecting, distracting, unsettling forces that have affected our sons to the impact of those forces on their character.

Our headmaster begins a three episode series on iGen. In today's episode, Mr. de Vicente explores the influences and forces that have overprotected, distracted, and unsettled our sons.

In this week's episode Mr. Michael Moynihan discusses an exercise that allows teachers to isolate the relativistic variable in the moral minds of their students. What is relativism? What is the exercise? And why does any of this matter to those of us just trying to live the good life–however you define that? Mr. Moynihan's article available here.

Mr. Tom Royals, Assistant Headmaster of The Heights, offers his thoughts on the importance of hosting our sons and their friends at home. Rather than being a place to be avoided, the home should be a social hub and a place of gathering for our boys. This takes work and investment, but the effort is worth the while when friendships flourish and our sons develop relationships informed by the culture of the home.

Lower School Head, Colin Gleason, offers some high level thoughts and general considerations for homeschooling families during this, a year that has seen an unprecedented number of new homeschooling families. In particular, Mr. Gleason bears in mind the 2nd graders who are soon to be Heights-bound. What are systems that can prepare our boys for the adventures of the Heights Lower School? Listen in! A huge number of parents are home schooling for the year. We offer some thoughts here for parents finding themselves in the teachers' seat. Generally: Know your boy; know yourself; don't stress. Anxiety is the number 1 enemy of education. Don't let it creep into your homeroom. Protect the process–don't worry so much about the product, and trust the system you put in place. As far as processes and systems go: keep it simple! Day in the Life of the Second Grader's Day Enjoy that flexibility while enjoying your schedule! There is no "right" way for every boy; But do set a schedule that is informed by your boy's natural strengths and rhythms; In the 6 part cocktail: 3 parts reading, 1 part math, 1 part grammar, 1 part... other things (writing practice, art, etc...): A second grader shouldn't be doing academic work for more than 3 hours a day, ideally broken into 30 minute chunks. The 3 parts reading (1 part read to himself; 1 part read to you; 1 part--the most important part--YOU read aloud to him) The Magic Tree House series is a great benchmark for the end of Second Grade–they should be able to read these to themselves and enjoy; The Saxon Math approach has worked well for The Heights and for its incoming students–3rd Graders begin with Saxon 5/4, so Saxon Math 3 would work beautifully for a rising Heights boy. Parents should not see home schooling as a means to "get their boys ahead"–there are pedagogical reasons for this (in addition to social/logistical). There is no need to start cursive before starting at The Heights–by the time our 3rd graders get to Christmas, we'll get them there. Consider refining manuscript and print; cursive could be helpful, but in general there is no need to rush this. Note, if you have given your sons enough time for free play, then they will want to be around you AND some of the things you do in the ordinary course of your day can be teaching without teaching.

Why all the tree climbing, virtue talk, and fancy old books? It's all part of our grand conspiracy to form wise, courageous, risk-takers. Hear our Headmaster, Mr. Alvaro de Vicente, discuss how The Heights goes about teaching boys to manage risk in a virtuous, intelligent manner. The process isn't mud-free, and we can guarantee mistakes–your sons' and our own. But the end result, with prayers and God's grace, is a "man fully alive," who understands that living isn't the sole purpose of life.

Dr. Jason Baxter, Academic Dean at Wyoming Catholic College and author of The Beginners Guide to Dante's Divine Comedy offers his thoughts on how to introduce students to the Divine Comedy. By forcing the Divine Comedy (and many other "Great Works") on our boys without the proper groundwork, we risk cheating them of a profound encounter. But there is value, and this is an introduction worth making. How do we go about it? Listen in and follow our guide.

Today we feature an interview with Tom Longano, author of two recently published books: The Blue Book of Stories and The Red Book of Stories. A Heights graduate and former lower school teacher, Tom offers his thoughts on children's literature, reading for boys, and the importance of not just reading books aloud, but actually performing them aloud as well.

Heights Middle School Head, Mr. Andy Reed, discusses the middle school years. Drawing on his years of experience working with middle school boys and their families, Mr. Reed offers practical advice on how parents can best help their sons grow during these crucial years of formation. While we have often heard it said that parents should "cut the cord" and "let him leave the nest," in this talk Mr. Reed emphasises the importance of parents combining freedom with formation. He recommends parents keep their sons especially close during these critical years, even as they give them the genuine freedom to grow in virtue.