147 - The psychology of being attracted to the wrong people
Healing Honeys with Louise Rumball
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Show Notes
Sick of ‘everyone turning out the same’? Could your whole dating life be explained by schema chemistry, schema traps and schema jigsaws? Welcome to schema chemistry school - the reason that you might have been attracting the same partner on repeat over the duration of your lifetime (and why those relationships always turn out the same!)
This week Louise is joined by clinical psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Laura Williams as they dive into:
- Schema therapy
- What schema chemistry is (and why Louise is obsessed with it)
- The concepts of surrendering, avoiding and counter attacking against schemas we develop in childhood
- The abandonment schema (and why it’s so prevalent in adult dating)
- The schemas of mistrust/abuse, self-sacrifice, and defectiveness/shame, and how they manifest in relationships.
- Perfectionism
- How schema chemistry can lead to unrealistic fantasy bonding
- Advice for breaking cycles; and more.
The pair also discuss how schema chemistry can relate to your relationship with yourself, not just others.
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