Why ‘I’m Sorry for Your Loss’ Might Hurt More Than It Helps—A Grieving Mother Speaks Out
Grief & Happiness · Emily Thiroux Threatt
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Show Notes
Why even well-meaning words can deepen someone's pain—and what to say instead when silence feels safer than saying the wrong thing.
In today's episode, I'm joined by Sally McQuillen, a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in addiction, trauma, and grief. Based on the North Shore of Chicago, she brings a deeply personal lens to her work shaped by the loss of her 21-year-old son, Christopher. Her debut memoir, Reaching for Beautiful, chronicles that journey—a story of healing, resilience, and the enduring bond between mother and child. A former English and dance major, Sally now channels her lifelong love of writing into storytelling that offers comfort and connection to others navigating profound loss.
Throughout this episode, Sally reflects on the emotional landscape that shaped Reaching for Beautiful, sharing how private journaling gradually evolved into a powerful memoir. She speaks candidly about her grief, the different ways she and her husband supported each other, and the spiritual signs that continue to remind her of her son’s presence. With compassion and clarity, Sally offers insights into how even small gestures of acknowledgment can make a profound difference for someone in mourning. Her perspective invites us to approach grief not with fear, but with openness, gentleness, and the understanding that love never truly disappears.
Tune in to episode 324 s Sally McQuillen shares how writing through heartbreak, embracing spiritual connection, and honoring her son’s memory helped transform unimaginable loss into a journey of healing and love.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
Sally’s journey through grief (1:02)
Writing through grief: From pain to memoir (2:15)
Letters to the departed and spiritual dialogues (6:14)
Grieving as a couple—side by side, not the same (7:51)
When grief becomes isolating (12:25)
What to say (and not say) to the grieving (14:20)
Finding joy in memories and shared stories (17:00)
Recognizing signs from loved ones and choosing to heal (23:20)
Rising above grief (28:43)
Connect with Sally McQuillen:
Get Sally’s book!
Let's Connect:
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
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