I'm done keeping men's secrets - Sarah
Good Girls Talk About Sex · Leah Carey
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Show Notes
Sarah is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, married, monogamous, and pansexual. She clarified however that while she has experienced attractions to people of all genders, her sexual experiences have been limited to cis-gender males.
Through her teens and early 20s, Sarah dated MUCH older men. She reflects back on those experiences, sorting through the ramifications of her partner choices, including the pressures she felt and how the power differentials in those relationships worked. She is now married to a man her own age and in the second half of the show we talk extensively about the physical difficulties she has with sex and how she and her husband work around them.
Major themes in this episode include the stigma, power dynamics, and secrets involved in dating much older men; physical challenges with sex and difficulty with orgasm; and expanding the definition of what counts as sex.
- Sarah's first memory of sexual pleasure around age 8
- Sarah's first relationship with a moderately older partner
- Not knowing how to behave when receiving pleasure
- Sarah's first relationship with a significantly order partner
- Sarah considers power dynamics and coercion in relationship with an older man
- When a partner removes a condom without permission it is sexual assault
- Sarah's first orgasm at age 25—through more communication, focus on her pleasure, comfort level
- Navigating sexual interaction when orgasm isn't going to happen
- The physical challenges Sarah contends with including carpal tunnel, autoimmune disorders, and vaginal dryness
- Experimenting with lubricants and dilators
- An important PSA about lubrication!
The audio extras for this episode are:
- Sarah talks more about her relationships with older men
- The extended Q&A
Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:
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- Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
- Here's everything I'm up to today
- I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak