I used to need orgasm, now I want connection - Davina

Davina Bookbinder is a 33-year-old, transgender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, queer, polyamorous and actively dating.

Major themes in this episode include being transgender, discovering and navigating gender identity, and sex as a trans woman.

Davina is a good friend and she and I have had long conversations about gender in general and her gender in particular. It is because she and I have developed a foundation of trust that I'm able to ask questions that we wouldn't normally ask. PLEASE KNOW that many of the questions I ask in this interview are NOT questions that are appropriate to ask a trans person in regular conversation. But that's true of all the conversations on this show, right?!? I ask deeply personal questions that you would never think to ask someone at a dinner party. The problem for trans people is that there is such curiosity around their bodies and their genitals that people end up believing they're allowed to ask those questions at the dinner party.

So consider this your opportunity to listen in on the questions you WISH you could ask - yes, we talk about having sex as a trans person and how it works. Yes, we talk about the current state of her genitals and how she likes them to be interacted with. And yes, we talk about the intersection of mental health and being transgender.

Many, many thanks to Davina for showing up and being willing to have this conversation. I love you, girl!

You can find Davina at www.therebelliousjewess.com and on Instagram at @therebelliousjewess. Davina is also the Programming Director for Sex Positive Portland.

• Davina's early sexual experiences with both genders
• The difference she felt between physical pleasure with boys, emotional connection with girls
• Davina's early experience with porn
• How gender norms impacted Davina's recognition of being trans
• Davina's feelings about being in male settings
• The nail polish blow up
• Discovering her gender identity and getting divorced
• Diving into therapy around gender identity
• Gender and the brain
• Davina talks about having top surgery
• Waiting for bottom surgery
• Her body in gender transition and how it has affected her sexuality and orgasm
• Terminology for genitalia in transition, function, sexual pleasure
• Going through multiple puberties
• The positive impact of transition in every area of Davina's life

The audio extras for this episode are:

• Davina talks about dysphoria and about the intersection of the transgender community and mental health issues
• Davina talks about gender norms and her desire for things that are considered feminine when she was a child
• Davina discusses the ins and outs of gender confirmation surgery (also known as top and bottom surgery)
• The extended Q&A!

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak