I hired a sex worker to teach my husband how to touch me - Lynn

Lynn shares her trauma history, and then opens up on a deep and detailed level about hiring a sex worker to save her marriage. Because no one in her family talked about sex or bodies, for much of her early life, she believed that her vagina was a fatal birth defect.

Lynn is a 49-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, NOT straight, mostly monogamous, married, and peri-menopausal. She describes her body as "very average."

Sex workers can play a critical role in sexual healing. It's a safe space with clear boundaries, and without the emotional charge (or baggage) often built up with a partner. A sex worker can help you overcome resistance to pleasure, focus on sensation, and figure out what *does* feel good to your body. And some do work with couples.

• Lynn's first memory of sexual pleasure occurs at age 9, with the accidental placement of a blanket between her legs on a hot summer night. Her surprise discovery leads to a serious misconception but she knows not to ask questions.
• She experiments with touching and kissing with her best friend, trying to figure things out with the benefit of sex ed.
• As her home life falls apart in her teens, Lynn falls prey to attention of older men.
• She leaves home at 16 and gets married, in order to escape things at home. Things are good at first, but when she gets pregnant, he gets violent.
• Lynn meets her second husband. He is wonderful and so is the sex, but life quickly throws a few wrenches into the works.
• The lack of sex in the marriage destroys their emotional bond.
• Lynn tells her husband he has permission to see a sex worker to get his needs met. He resists…at first.
• After some deep introspection, she suggests an alternate set of plans to her husband to celebrate their upcoming anniversary—involving Lynn visiting the sex worker.
• Lynn discovers her body is not, in fact, broken.
• They go to the sex worker together for their anniversary. Much unfolds from this and subsequent sessions with the sex worker.
• Lynn shares about the medical help and therapy she sought before turning to a sex worker, and her fears of social disapproval.

Extras for this episode are:

• Lynn and I took a deeper dive into the nature of the relationships she was having with older men – was it predatory? Was it healthy? Is it possible that it could be some combination of both?
• Lynn and I talk about how, having had a history of violent homes, she managed to create a home without violence for her son. We also talk about how she approached the topic of sex with her son, and what her relationship with her body is – and how that has changed since menopause.
• The extended Lowdown Q&A

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak