Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and Debbie take listeners inside their homeschooling world. They're about to begin year four of this unexpected homeschooling journey, and after much trial and error, they’ve found their rhythm and flow (for now) for what works best in their school. Asher and Debbie talk about the transition into homeschooling, what works and what doesn’t, how Asher really feels about being homeschooling, how they co-designed they school, and what a typical day looks like. Asher also shares his thoughts on how their relationship has changed as a result of the homeschooling dynamic. Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Things You'll Learn from This Episode: The pros and cons of homeschooling from a kid’s POV How Asher and I have co-designed our school structure, schedule, and curriculum How structure and flexibility can actually co-exist What a typical school day looks like in our world What I see as the biggest benefits of homeschooling Asher How Asher perceives our teacher-student relationship versus mother-son Resources Mentioned: Image of our homeschooling daily schedule Khan Academy Kerbal Space Program Kurzgesagt YouTube Channel Ted-Ed Videos Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re talking about what we often call in the neurodivergent space, long runways, for our emerging young adults, specifically alternative paths for differently wired students who are graduating high school but may not either be ready for a “typical” college experience or for whom college isn’t part of the plan. We do get a little update from Dave on the admissions landscape, but most of the this episode is dedicated to considering other options for students, including gap years, apprenticeships, taking a few classes at a community college, and most importantly, slowing the whole “launching” process down to support kids who would really benefit from extra time to develop and grow, recover from mental health challenges, destress, and more. About my guest: David L Marcus is a college admissions coach who loves helping students and parents find balance and joy. He has been a journalist, author and teacher – as well as a writing coach for CEOs. David wrote a book about college admissions, Acceptance (published by Penguin Books). He also wrote a book about struggling teens, What It Takes to Pull Me Through (published by Houghton Mifflin). He has appeared on the Today show and NPR’s Morning Edition; he has spoken about education at conferences, schools, churches, and synagogues across the U.S. David is an honors graduate of Brown University. He was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard. But he says classes at a community college changed his life. Things you'll learn: What has changed for students who are college bound now that we are through the pandemic How the decision-making and admission process has changed for students and for colleges Why gap years can be such a good option for some students and the different ways a gap year might look Why community college might be a good starting point for neurodivergent kids Other options for kids who don’t want to take the college route after high school Advice for parents with kids close to the end of high school on how to support them after they graduate Resources: David Marcus’ website Acceptance: A Legendary Guidance Counselor Helps Seven Kids Find the Right Colleges–and Find Themselves by David Marcus What It Takes To Pull Me Through: Four Troubled Teenagers And Fourteen Months That Transformed Them by David Marcus College Vetting, Admissions, & Accommodations for Differently Wired Students (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Seven Steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities by Elizabeth Hamblet Gap Year Association College Autism Spectrum Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This weeks' guest is Penny Williams, author of the book Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, as well The Insiders Guide to ADHD, and What To Expect When Parenting a Child with ADHD. Penny is also the founder of Parenting ADHD and Autism, which features a blog, coaching, and the Parenting ADHD podcast, all aimed at helping parents raising special kids survive, thrive, and parent with purpose. In our conversation, Penny shares her story of raising her differently wired son, gives us the inside scoop on her books, and shares some of her best strategies for getting through the tough moments with our unique kiddos. I hope you enjoy the episode! Penny Williams is a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey. Through her award-winning books, online parent training programs, and parent coaching, Penny helps families like yours survive and thrive in the face of ADHD through a compassionate, purposeful parenthood. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: Penny’s personal story of discovering her son’s neurodifferences and advocating for him in school Why holding her son back one year in school was the best decision Penny made (but she had to follow her gut to make it) Penny’s thoughts on medicating kids for ADHD, as well as her story in figuring out the best medication path for her son Why Penny had mom guilt with some her choices in supporting her son Penny’s thoughts on the co-morbid diagnoses of ADHD and autism The challenges of getting a thorough and accurate diagnosis when there are multiple symptoms RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parenting ADHD and Aspergers (Penny’s website) Boy Without Instructions:Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD: A 9-Step Plan to Master the Struggles and Triumphs of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams The Insider’s Guide to ADHD: Adults with ADHD Reveal the Secret to Parenting Kids with ADHD by Penny Williams Parenting ADHD Podcast Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Ellen Braaten was one of my first guests on the Tilt Parenting podcast, when she joined me back in 2016 to talk about her book about processing speed, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. I’m so happy to be bringing her back to the show to talk about motivation,, which is the topic for her wonderful new book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation. In this episode, we explore motivation (or what we might perceive as a lack of motivation) in our kids from many angles, including what is really going on when our child appears to be unmotivated, the relationship between executive function and motivation, how resilience comes into play, and the way in which we as parents and caregivers can support our kids in gaining confidence and skills so they can make meaningful progress towards the things that light them up. About Dr. Ellen Braaten Dr. Ellen Braaten is the Executive Director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital, and an Associate Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Braaten is widely recognized as an expert in the field of pediatric neuropsychological and psychological assessment, particularly in the areas of assessing learning disabilities and attentional disorders. She is the co-author of many books and articles for parents and professionals including the bestselling book, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. Her newest book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation was published in March of 2023. Things you'll learn from this episode -Why people sometimes misconstrue struggles with motivation as laziness (and how they’re getting it wrong) -How executive function challenges and challenges with getting, or staying, motivated are connected -What the parenting APP framework is and how it helps parents in supporting their children in feeling more motivated -What “flow” is and how can we leverage that to support our kids’ fledgling motivation -How to support kids in setting and working towards goals with kids who are particularly demand-avoidant Resources -Dr. Ellen Braaten’s website -Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation by Dr. Ellen Braaten -Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up: Help Your Child Overcome Slow Processing Speed and Keep Up in a Fast-Paced World by Dr. Ellen Braaten -Exploring Slow Processing Speed with Dr. Ellen Braaten (Tilt Parenting Podcast) -Traits of Flow According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi -The Learning and Emotional Assessment Program at Mass General -Doable: A Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything by Debbie Reber Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths. I’ll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it’s very inspiring and personal, but for now, I’ll let you know that we’re going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We’ll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual’s strengths. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the day Why Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what’s inside of them What the language of positive psychology and character strengths is What happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same page The magic of looking at a child as a whole person That there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions RESOURCES MENTIONED: Strength Clusters (Giselle’s website) Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson Via Character Strengths Survey Brene Brown’s website The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown Pamela Slim’s website Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities. During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity. About John Sovec John Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. He is the author of Out: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond (JKP, 2023). John is a frequent contributor to numerous publications on providing LGBTQIA+ support, speaks at conferences nationally, and provides training and professional consultation on LGBTQIA+ competencies for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits. In addition, he consults and trains on the corporate level regarding diversity, equity, and LGBTQIA+ inclusion. In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. John is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for OutCare Health. Things you'll learn from this episode Why it’s important that LGBTQIA+ kids have access to therapists and mental health support that is affirming and informed in the community’s specific challenges What LGBTQIA+ plus stands for What “coming out” means in our contemporary society John’s guidance for how parents can respond to their child’s coming out in a way that feels supportive and loving How parents can show up for their LGBTQIA+ kids in an affirming way What parents with LGBTQIA+ kids are most concerned about and how they can navigate their own emotional process Resources mentioned for John Sovec’s website A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your Lgbtqia+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond by John Sovec John Sovec’s Gay Teen Therapy website John Sovec on Instagram How to Support Transgender and Nonbinary Neurodivergent Children, with Dr. Laura Anderson (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Laura Anderson on Gender Nonconformity and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast) The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you are definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time (which, by the way, is great…please keep them coming!), and one of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic—parent educator Julie King. Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 alongside Joanna Faber, and leads dynamic lecture/presentations for schools and other parent organizations. Among the workshops she offers is one based on Siblings Without Rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently-wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I’m really excited to share this conversation with you, and I hope to do more episodes on this topic. Julie King has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to her work with individual parents and couples, she is a highly regarded parenting workshop leader and public presenter. Her most popular workshops, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, are based on the bestselling books of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and her own book, written with Joanna Faber. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What the common challenges are for siblings in families with differently wired kids Best practices for creating and maintaining family harmony How to approach conflict resolution in a way that’s respectful, peaceful, and fosters growth The power of the “reframe” conflicts as problems in need of solutions How to handle “inequalities” in the amount of attention and/or resources one sibling may be receiving over another due to neurodifferences Strategies for addressing one child’s anger about or resentment of their sibling The key to finding solutions to sibling conflicts that get everyone’s needs met RESOURCES MENTIONED: Julie King’s website How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen Facebook Page How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen (website) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland's new book Is This Autism is a game-changing labor of love in which they clarify the many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits. Their book walks readers through the diagnostic criteria in a way that presents a much deeper understanding of how those criteria can, and should, be interpreted. We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience. Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage. Dr. Sarah Wayland is the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, and co-founder of The Behavior Revolution. Things you'll learn from this episode Why there is an unwillingness to explore autism among many clinicians, as well as a lack of training for how to assess for it How Sarah and Donna’s joint book came together and what their goal is in getting it out into the world Why so many autistic people are being missed in a “traditional” diagnostic process Donna and Sarah’s thoughts on why the number of people getting an autism diagnostic has increased recent years Whether or not there is a place for “subjectivity” by an evaluator in the diagnostic process Resources mentioned Is This Autism? website Dr. Donna Henderson’s website Sarah Wayland’s website Guiding Exceptional Parents Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland Is This Autism? A Companion Guide for Diagnosing by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland (available July 2023) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m very excited to be talking with psychologist, parent coach, and prolific author Dawn Huebner. One of the coolest things about making this podcast is getting to continually connect with people whose work I’ve not only been following for years, but people whose work and books have literally impacted my family in a meaningful way. On top of that, I get to ask them everything I want to know. Hopefully I cover the same things that you would ask if you were sitting in my chair, too. Today is one of those conversations, as we’ve owned and have been using Dawn’s books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What To Do When You Grumble Too Much for many years. Today Dawn and I are talking about her new book on anxiety called Outsmarting Worry: And Older Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dawn has a gift for creating practical, doable, interactive “toolkits” to help feel empowered to take control of their emotional experience and make changes that can make the way they’re moving through life feel so much better. I hope you enjoy our conversation! Dawn Huebner, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, Parent Coach and popular speaker, specializing in the many faces of childhood anxiety. Her newest book, Outsmarting Worry, maintains her distinctive voice while adding a layer of detail and sophistication appreciated by older children and teens. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What is “normal” worry for children and how will we know if our child needs help How we can help our children shift from being “irrational” with worry to calm What does the process of helping a child learn to manage their own worry and anxiety actually look like? How might some parents be inadvertently exacerbating their child’s worry? What is one simple skill we can teach our child today to help him or her start to tackle worry? How can we help a child who is resistant to taking steps to learn how to manage their anxiety? RESOURCES MENTIONED: Dr. Dawn Huebner’s website Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner What to Do When You Grumble Too Much by Dawn Huebner What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with. What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home. Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting. Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. Things you'll learn from this episode What Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writers How separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance Julie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with writing How to break through the resistance when children feel daunted by the idea of expressing themselves Why Julie believes performance anxiety is at the root of resistance when kids struggle to begin a writing task Advice for parents raising kids who experience intense resistance around the writing process Resources mentioned Julie Bogart’s Brave Writer website Julie Bogart’s Blog at Brave Writer Brave Writer Writing Blitz Brave Writer Podcast Raising Critical Thinkers: A Parents’ Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie Bogart The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life by Julie Bogart Julie Bogart on Instagram Julie Bogart on Facebook Julie Bogart on Twitter Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence. About my guests Jac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements. Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac. Things you'll learn from this episode The story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created it What the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspects What Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with it The difference between emotional regulation and energy regulation Resources mentioned Autism Level UP! Autism Level UP! on Facebook Autism Level UP! on Instagram The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant Barry Prizant Talks About His Book “Uniquely Human” Dr. Barry Prizant and Dave Finch Talk About Their New Podcast, Uniquely Human (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment. So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next. Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid. Things you'll learn from this episode: How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven years How I envisioned Tilt when I first developed it Why I believe there is no such thing as “normal” What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired children How my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner work The five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent years Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with. In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more. Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enrichment center that supports twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and gifted students and their families. Sam is a neurodivergent educator who has ADHD. As an ADHD learner, he has a tremendous understanding of, experience in, and respect for all things related to neurodiverse education. Before founding Young Scholars Academy, Sam taught in a variety of capacities—including nearly a decade at Bridges Academy—at an array of programs in the US, Europe, and Asia. Things you'll learn from this episode What reimagining our kids’ social life really is about How online communities have impacted our kid’s social lives What Sam’s students wish their social lives looked like How parents or adults in kids' lives can support them in building skills to help them with social anxiety Sam’s thoughts on social skill groups and their efficacy Expectations that parents have that might be getting in the way of their kid’s social lives How parents can support a kid who is feeling alone to the point of their self-confidence and self-worth being affected Resources mentioned: Young Scholars Academy Young Scholars Academy Winter Courses 10 tips to help 2e kiddos socialize AND a bonus video Young Scholars Academy on Facebook Young Scholars Academy on Instagram Bridges Academy Ready Player One Davidson Young Scholars Joseph Renzulli Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation. Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide. About my guest: Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. You'll learn: What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many people What “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuck How unschooling is tied to decolonization What “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling” What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her children How Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their family What a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experience Resources mentioned: Akilah Richard’s website Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards Fare of the Free People Podcast Akilah’s website Schoolishness Akilah’s coaching offerings Savor Complex Akilah Richard TEDx Asbury Park Talk Shawna Murray Browne Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox. Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles. We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem. Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. Things you'll learn from this episode What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language) Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions) How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”? Resources mentioned Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Declarative Language website Declarative Language on Facebook Declarative Language on Instagram One Exchange at a Time (from Linda’s blog) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma? In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system. About Sandi Lerman Sandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers. Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success. Things you'll learn from this episode What developmental trauma is Whether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound ways Why two different kids might internalize the same experience differently How are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks like How PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental trauma Specific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced trauma What the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks like Resources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma Sandy Lerman’s Heart Strong International website Heart Strong International on Facebook Sandi Lerman on LinkTree Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Ross Greene Dr. Mona Delahooke The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD Somatic Experiencing EMDR Therapy Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways. Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology. Things you'll learn from this episode: How Sarah defines peaceful discipline What the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional development How to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”) How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parenting Why removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long term What Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations Resources mentioned for: Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion Seeds Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. Moore Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert Interviews Dandelion Seeds on Instagram Dandelion Seeds on Facebook Dandelion Seeds on YouTube Dandelion Seeds on Twitter Sign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviews Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for. In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love. Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being. Things you'll learn from this episode Why Chris believes the middle school years are magical What the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through them What individuation is and how to navigate it with your children Advice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s development How to navigate a child breaking our trust What companioning is and how to do that for our kids Resources mentioned Chris Balme’s website Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris Balme Chris’s Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack) Not Much, Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers by Linda Perlstein Maria Montessori Anders Ronnau on How He’s Transforming ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast) Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud on How to Motivate Kids and Build Their Stress Tolerance (Tilt Parenting podcast) The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016. The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine. In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit. Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Things you'll learn from the episode: How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s day The benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intention Asher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doing How meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habit Resources mentioned: The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod Pat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive Income Kerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment) Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYE Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations. In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths. and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings. Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neuropsychology, PC, the founder of ChildNEXUS.com, and the host of the Diverse Thinking · Different Learning podcast. She specializes in the assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, and she has extensive experience evaluating children and adults who present with neurological, medical and psychiatric disorders. Things you'll learn from this episode What a diagnosis actually is and what it can mean to a family How to balance communication surrounding your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses so the emphasis is not on challenges What types of language to use when talking with your kids about their diagnoses, and how to evolve language as kids get older How to navigate talking with children and teens about their neurodifferences if they’re resistant to labels or being “otherized” Best practices for talking about diagnoses in households with neurotypical siblings How to give kids the tools and empowerment they need to ultimately feel confident navigating situations in their lives where they are judged by their diagnosis and related stigma Resources mentioned Dr. Karen Wilson’s website Dr. Karen Wilson on Twitter Dr. Karen Wilson on LinkedIn ChildNEXUS Diverse Thinking, Different Learning (Karen’s podcast) Dr. Karen Wilson on How to Know if Your Child is Ready for the Transition to Elementary School (Tilt Parenting podcast) Carol Dweck and Mindset Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt. Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted and twice-exceptional, parenting coaching and workshops, and consultation with educators and psychotherapists. Dr. Post is the parent of two gifted young adults and served as co-chair of a gifted parents advocacy group when her children were in school. Her writing includes articles, several book chapters, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Her new book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, combines research, theory, and clinical experience, and extends her advocacy efforts to address the needs of parents of gifted children. Things you'll learn from this episode The common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids may experience as part of their journey Why parents of gifted kids feel intense pressure surrounding their child’s educational path and how that can negatively impact families Why the word “potential” is a loaded one in families with gifted and 2e kids, and how parents can change their relationship with this concept Why anxiety is common amongst parents raising gifted or 2e kids The unique challenges BIPOC parents raising gifted kids face Why self-awareness is the road map to attuned parenting when raising gifted and 2e kids Resources mentioned Gail Post’s website Gifted Challenges The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children by Gail Post Gail Post / Gifted Challenges on Twitter Gail Post / Gifted Challenges on Instagram Parenting From the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Dan Siegel Marc Smolowitz Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives. Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives. Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International. Things you’ll learn from this episode What mindfulness actually is Why developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for children How mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kids How mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult moments Tips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your family Resources mentioned for Mindfulness for Kids Kate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ Club Mindfulness in Schools Project Mindful Schools MindUP Foundation Sitting Still Like a Frog (book) Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes) “When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article) Free mindfulness course through Future Learn Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools. I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines. Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses. Beth Liesenfeld, MOT, OTR/L is an occupational therapist passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff! Her company, The IEP Lab, provides online workshops and courses as well as produces The Parent IEP Lab Podcast. Things you'll learn from this episode What parents actually need to know before they go into an IEP meeting The criteria for designing an effective and supportive IEP The intention behind the goals written into any IEP, and how to create goals that lead to hoped for outcomes What parents can do if their children’s school doesn’t follow through on the accommodations provided in their child’s IEP How to include accommodations for students who are struggling with school refusal and therefore may not be meeting attendance requirements What the IDEA says about seeking an IEP for twice-exceptional children who may be performing “adequately” but aren’t reaching their potential Resources mentioned for the IEP Process The IEP Lab website IEP Process Step-By-Step Guide (free download) The Ultimate Parent IEP Pre Course (Beth’s signature program) COPAA (Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates) Wrightslaw Special Education and Advocacy Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) How to Feel Heard and Communicate Who Your Child is with Ease: How to Write a Vision Statement! (The IEP Podcast - Episode 41) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits. Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs. Things you’ll learn from this episode How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids Resources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect Margaret Webb Life Coach Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online Course Martha Beck Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m honored to kick off the season with a powerful conversation about autistic burnout with autism and neurodiversity support specialist, Kristy Forbes. Kristy and I talk about what exactly autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs. Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides. Kristy is formally identified autistic, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children.Things you'll learn from this episode What autistic burnout is and how it's different from other types of burnout How mental health challenges might be misinterpreted in autistic burnout treatment How to support young people, adolescents, and children in recognizing the value of taking pause and resting Clues to help parents have a better understanding of what their child is struggling with Examples of what deep rest might look like for children and young people How to recognize when your child is starting to emerge from burnout Resources mentioned for Autistic Burnout Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways Kristy Forbes on Facebook A Conversation with Dr. Melissa Neff About Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) (podcast) In Tune Families Core Programs Kristy Forbes on Instagram Harry Thompson A Conversation with Neurodiversity & Support Specialist Kristy Forbes (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Kieran Rose, The Autistic Activist Kristie’s Critical Care & Recovery Program Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is. As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day. Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. Things you’ll learn from this episode Why Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the world The core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive Discipline What truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for us How mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult moments The way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experience How to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a profound impact in our families The power of the intentional pause Resources mentioned for calming the drama at home Joyful Courage (Casey’s website) Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey by Casey O’Roarty Joyful Courage podcast How Positive Discipline Can Help Atypical Children Thrive (podcast episode) Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen’s website) Love and Love with Joyful Courage (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage Parents of Teens (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage on Instagram Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking. Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way. Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety. Things you'll learn from this episode Whether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kids What the definition of negative thinking is Whether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimistic What the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kids Whether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or not The four steps to combat negative thinking How to navigate the balance of protecting children from adversity and exposing them to the nature of the world around us Resources mentioned: Dr. Tamar Chansky’s website Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful, Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Dr. Tamar Chansky Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA Worrywisekids.org Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast. When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout. In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to. Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked with families, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. Deeply steeped in the theory and practice of family therapy, Brown uses a systemic approach that allows him to understand the system, or context, in which problems are both formed and are healed. This approach has revealed a simple yet profound method of empowering parents and their adolescent youth to put an end to destructive control battles for good. Brown is also a trainer of parents and mental health professionals. Additionally, Brown works in industry with teams and work groups to increase organizational effectiveness. Things you’ll learn from this episode What parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes How to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset Resources mentioned for burned out parents Neil Brown’s website Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect by Neil Brown Healthy Family Connections Podcast (Neil’s podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I found about Lori’s work recently and after reading her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, I really wanted to bring her on as a guest because I believe the work she is doing is revolutionary. Lori’s work centers around helping educators, parents, and any adults who work with children shift the way they think about discipline by reaching for sustainable behavioral changes through brain state awareness rather than compliance and obedience. She’s actively pushing back against reactive and punitive practices that can potentially reactivate the developing stress response systems of children, and is advocating for stronger co-regulation practices and regulated brain and body states for adults. During this conversation, we consider why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together, what happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with trauma or a heightened nervous system, and why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation. About Dr. Lori Desautels Dr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. Lori’s passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. Lori is the author of 4 books. Her most recent book, Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline was released in late 2020. Her new book will be published in January, 2023 entitled, “Intentional Neuroplasticity, Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth.” Things you'll learn from this episode Why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together What happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with traumas or a heightened nervous system Why we should be moving away from the behavior management model Why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation Strategies for helping teachers (and parents) better show up for dysregulated kids Resources mentioned Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels Eyes Are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori Desautels Resources from Revelations in Education Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Blake Boles, the self-directed learning advocate behind Unschool Adventures and the author of several books on unschooling, including The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School, as well as the host of the Off-Trail Learning podcast. Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you. Blake Boles is the founder and director of Unschool Adventures and the author of The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School. He hosts the Off-Trail Learning podcast, speaks for alternative schools, writes for The Alliance for Self-Directed Education, and has keynoted multiple homeschooling conferences. Things you’ll learn from this episode What unschooling actually is (in comparison with traditional or eclectic homeschooling) The most common myths and assumptions surrounding unschooled kids How intrinsic motivation is the key to helping a student learn what they want to learn when they’re ready to learn it The ways in which unschooling and self-directed learning respects a child’s unique timeline What the transition from a traditional educational model to unschooling might look like might look like What a transition to university looks like in the U.S. for children who’ve been homeschooled, and how to do it How parents who are homeschooling their child can play the role as “consultant” rather than teacher, and giving child the room to become truly self-directed Tips for parents looking to dip their toe into unschooling Resources mentioned for what is unschooling? Blake Boles’ website Unschool Adventures Off-Trail Learning The Art of Self-Directed Learning: 23 Tips for Giving Yourself an Unconventional Education Better Than College: How to Build a Successful Life Without a Four-Year Degree Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Since my guest for today’s episode, Dr. Abigail Gewirtz was on the show just over two years ago near the start of the COVID pandemic, the world has continued to go through increasingly complicated and challenging times. Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events. So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way? In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids toward something that makes them feel purpose and meaning. Dr. Abigail Gewirtz is a child psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development (ranked the world’s third-leading institution of its kind). Dr. Gewirtz has consulted for and presented to national and international organizations, including the US Congress and UNICEF, on parenting. Dr. Gewirtz’s most recent book is When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids. Things you'll learn from this episode What Abigail is seeing in her work over the past two years regarding of the state of the world and the impact on kids and families How adults can manage their own pain, fear, and worries so they can show up for their kids Whether it’s possible for our kids to feel optimism in the midst of growing up in a heavy and difficult times How to guide a child toward identifying something that could help them feel a sense of purpose and meaning What happens in our kids' developing brains when they consume content that reinforces pessimism and division What leading kids with negative mindsets toward hope might look like Resources mentioned: Dr. Abigail Gewirtz’s website When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids by Dr. Abigail Gewirtz How to Talk to Kids When the World Feels Like a Scary Place (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Dr. Devorah Heitner on Online Safety and Internet “Rabbit Holes” and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Dr. Tamar Chansky on How to Free Our Children from Negative Thinking (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum. There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults. Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2008 from the University of Montana following the completion of an APA-approved pre-doctoral internship at Spokane Mental in Spokane, WA. She has extensive training in working with children and adults of all ages. Her areas of specialty are the diagnostic evaluation of psychological disorders and the assessment and treatment of trauma. Dr. Neff also has extensive experience in testing for ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders. She utilizes a strengths-based approach in her work in an attempt to foster resilience, preferring a team-centered approach to assessment and intervention. Things you’ll learn from this episode The typical / “best” ages for kids to be assessed What some of the early signs are that a child might be on the autism spectrum How subjective is the process of assessing / diagnosing a child? What makes a “good diagnosis?” Why the current diagnostic process isn’t catching everyone, especially girls (for both autism and ADHD) The value of a diagnosis or label—pros and cons Tips for navigating the process of getting a diagnosis Resources mentioned for the assessment process for kids Dr. Melissa Neff’s website A Conversation with Julie George About Girls on the Autism Spectrum ADHD is Different for Women Decades of Failing to Recognize ADHD in Girls Has Created a Lost Generation of Women Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have been a) spending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life, and b) doing their identity development largely online as a result of COVID. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths. So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic. Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating Privacy and Reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out in 2023 with Penguin Random House. Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. Things you'll learn from this episode Why differently wired kids are more vulnerable to Internet rabbit holes The places online where today’s teens and kids are hanging out the most right now Whether it’s possible to set up controls to manage the type of contents kids are accessing on sites like Reddit The way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted by engaging with potentially toxic content What parents don’t know about what's going on with their kids and the way that they're accessing content Resources mentioned Devorah Heitner’s website Phonewise Boot Camp Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner Devorah’s TEDx Talk, The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native Devorah on Twitter Devorah on Instagram Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you worried about your child’s video gaming habits? If so, here’s interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are relevant, and perhaps concerning, to many listeners out there — video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming, because I was curious to know just exactly how we do that, and what that actually means in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into gaming. What I love about this conversation is it went so much deeper than video gaming and into the heart of the emotional lives of our children. I found our conversation to be highly thought-provoking—I hope you get a lot out of it. Eric Lanigan is a Motivation Coach who has helped hundreds of people to get clear on what they want -and then do it. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards instead of blaming themselves or external events. A former video game addict himself, Eric offers an intimate view of the world of compulsive gaming. Eric has delivered dozens of workshops on emotional intelligence, motivation, and procrastination. His online course, The Big Shift, has served over 750 people from more than 15 countries. Things you’ll learn from this episode Why many children get so deeply involved in their video game worlds The emotional payoff many children get from engaging in games Eric’s ideas around how parents can respect and understand their child’s video gaming The connection between motivation and gaming, and what parents miss when considering these Why Eric says the problem isn’t the games themselves but the way we relate to the games The biggest fears and concerns parents have surrounding their child’s gaming Eric’s thoughts on parents legislating their children’s gaming and how rewards and punishments associated with gaming may be counterproductive / result in the opposite desired outcome Resources mentioned for parents worried about their child’s video gaming Eric Lanigan’s website Making Peace with Gaming online course* The Big Shift online course Blake Boles A Conversation with Blake Boles on Unschooling and Self-Directed Learning (podcast episode) Asher Talks About the Pros and Cons of Banning Video Games (podcast episode) Eric on Facebook Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode explores the subject of vulnerability, male culture, and parenting specifically in the context of heteronormative relationships and how men can show up as better dads to their differently wired children. And I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with — Todd Adams, half of the duo of Zen Parenting Radio, and a leadership coach for men and the executive director of the international men’s organization, Men Living. Todd and I looked at the societal norms and pressures on men that get in the way of their being vulnerable in their relationships, feel more connected at home, and hold emotional space for their families, especially in families with neurodivergent kids and where the demands on relationships (emotionally, mentally, and physically) may be more intense. We also talked about what women can do to support and encourage their male partners to do inner work and show up as dads in a way that will better support their relationships and their family as a whole. Things you'll learn from this episode What the a “man box” is (and how it differs from “toxic masculinity”) The barriers in a heteronormative relationship that stand in the way of men feeling connected, including the additional challenges when raising a differently wired child How families can benefit from men showing up and being more vulnerable in their relationships What women can do to encourage their male partners to do the work and how they can support them through it How dads can find other like-minded dads and connect with them Resources mentioned for dads, the "man box" and how men can better show up for their kids and families Men Living Zen Parenting Radio (Todd and Cathy Adams’ podcast) Todd Adam’s Coaching Site Getting Aligned Through Parenting and Marriage Challenges, with Todd and Cathy Adams (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Cathy Adams on Zen Parenting in an Unpredictable World The ManKind Project The Mask You Live In Jennifer Siebel Newsom A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckert Tolle Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have a differently wired child who is athletic and/or is into sports, this episode is for you. My guest is Susan Stout, the founder Own Beat Athlete, a new resource aimed at helping athletic coaches understand their athletes who march to a different beat. Susan knows from personal experience as an athlete herself, a former coach, and the parent of an athletic differently wired child, that many great athletes can be challenging to coach because of their wiring—they can be easily frustrated, disruptive, forgetful, inconsistent. But she also knows that they can be a teams’ greatest asset. Susan’s goal is to equip others with what she wishes she knew when she was a coach, and support and bring out the best in the many athletes who didn’t fit the mold, with a specific focus on athletes with ADHD, learning differences, and anxiety. This is a really interesting conversation and Susan’s resources are a great starting point for listeners who want to bridge that gap of knowledge between their child’s behavior and their sports coach. I hope you enjoy it. Susan Stout is an advocate for athletes who are wired differently and struggle to participate or reach their potential in sports. She specializes in ADHD, learning differences and anxiety. Susan is the founder of Own Beat Athlete, a project to provide athletic coaches with the understanding and tools they need to help their differently wired athletes thrive. She brings to the work her perspective as a swimmer, coach, teacher, lawyer and mom to an avid and talented young athlete with ADHD and dyslexia. Things you’ll learn from this episode How and when parents should let athletic coaches know about a child’s wiring What kind of unique gifts differently wired athletes bring to their sports What the common challenges are for differently wired kids participating in sports How parents can talk with their kids about learning how to self-advocate for themselves with their coaches Susan’s thoughts on how willing coaches are to better understand and support their differently wired athletes How Own Beat Athlete supports coaches (and parents of athletes) to know how to practically support and problem solve with challenges related to neurodifferences What parents should look for to know whether or not they should step in Resources mentioned for coaching differently wired athletes Own Beat Athlete Own Beat Athlete / Susan Stout on Twitter Susan Stout on Facebook Own Beat Athlete’s Coaches’ Toolkit Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a regular listener of this show, you will be familiar with Polyvagal Theory, as it’s coming up in multiple interviews. But this episode is the first one dedicated solely to exploring this powerful theory. And to explore it with us, I’m thrilled to be talking with Deb Dana, a clinician, consultant, and author who is known for being a translator of Polyvagal Theory, which was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the mid-1990s. In this episode, Deb Dana gives us a primer of the key points of Polyvagal Theory, and in doing so, explains the ways in which it can support the way we parent our differently-wired kids. Deb explains the nervous system pathways, why co-regulation is essential to our survival, what befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice, and the benefits of having a breathing practice. We also talk about why these concepts can change our relationships to our daily life even if our circumstances stay the same. Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician, consultant and author specializing in complex trauma. Her work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma, and creating ways of working that honor the role of the autonomic nervous system. She is a founding member of the Polyvagal Institute, consultant to Khiron Clinics, advisor to Unyte, and developer of the signature Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series. Deb is well known for translating Polyvagal Theory into a language and application that is both understandable and accessible for clinicians and curious people alike. Deb’s clinical work published with W.W. Norton includes The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation, Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client Centered Practices, the Polyvagal Flip Chart: Understanding the Science of Safety and the Polyvagal Card Deck: 58 Practices for Calm and Change. Things you'll learn from this episode -The mission behind Deb’s book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory-What the nervous system pathways are and the three states we can be in-What aspects of our nervous systems are innate or “hardwired” versus routed in nurture or life experience-Why co-regulation is essential to our survival and examples for ways in which we constantly do naturally-What befriending and listening to our autonomic nervous system looks like in practice-What the benefits of having a regular breathing practice are Resources Mentioned -Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation-Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana-Polyvagal Card Deck: 58 Practices for Calm & Change-Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client-Centered Practices by Deb Dana-Polyvagal Practices: Anchoring the Self in Safety by Deb Dana (coming March 2023)-Stephen Porges Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this episode about ADHD and nutrition, I spoke with one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition, Jill Castle. Jill is a registered dietician / nutritionist with over twenty-five years of experience working with babies, toddlers, children, and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer. Her specialty is taking the current research in pediatric nutrition and shaping it into practical, sane advice for parents and healthcare providers. Jill writes the blog, “Just the Right Bite” and hosts a childhood nutrition podcast called The Nourished Child. In today’s conversation, Jill shares her insights about what we know about the relationship between ADHD and nutrition, the impact of nutritional deficiencies in kids, and how to not get overwhelmed at the thought of making changes in your family and, more specifically, your child’s diet. She also shares some great tips for how to get started in making small changes that can have a big impact. Jill truly is an expert in her field, and I learned a lot in this conversation. I hope you enjoy it! Jill Castle is a registered dietitian/nutritionist and a childhood nutrition expert. With over 25 years of experience with babies, toddlers, children and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer, and as a mother of 4, Jill is sought after as one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition. Things you’ll learn from this episode What the current research says about ADHD and nutrition The common types of nutritional challenges and deficiencies faced by kids with ADHD How to address nutritional concerns with your child without getting overwhelmed Thoughts on dealing with shame or guilt surrounding a child’s nutritional habits Whether or not good nutrition can be a substitute for medication when it comes to treating a child with ADHD Tips for making small, positive nutritional changes in your home and with your ADHD child How we can get our kids invested in their own nutritional well-being Resources mentioned for ADHD and Nutrition in Kids Jill Castle’s website Jill’s podcast: The Nourished Child Jill’s books Jill’s Blog Post: A Healthy ADHD Diet for Kids Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m really excited to bring you this conversation with Dr. Norinne Russell on a new topic we haven’t covered before on this show and one that only came into my radar last year, and that is rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD, a dysphoria commonly experienced by people with ADHD. We talked about what rejection sensitive dysphoria is and how it’s different from mood disorders or emotional dysregulation, what the early signs are and examples of triggers from Norrine’s own experience with her son, and how to support children with RSD. I’m sure this conversation will resonate with many of you and hope you find this new topic interesting and valuable to your family. About Dr. Norrine Russell Dr. Norrine Russell is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students, which uses an innovative method of coaching for complex students, including those who are 2E; have ADHD, Autism, or Anxiety; and those with learning differences. This innovative method, Connected Coaching, has proven successful for hundreds of students since 2009. She is the author of the recently published guide for parents, “Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis.” With twenty years of experience creating positive youth development and parenting education programs, Dr. Russell has extensive knowledge of child development, learning styles, special needs, and positive parenting philosophies. She blends this knowledge to provide students and parents with comprehensive support and the tools they need to grow and thrive. Things you'll learn from this episode What rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD is and how it presents What the early signs of rejection-sensitive dysphoria are and examples of triggers for children and adolescents The difference between RSD, mood disorders, and “typical” emotional dysregulation that neurodivergent children might experience How to support children with RSD Resources mentioned for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) & ADHD Dr. Norrine Russell’s website Dr. Norrine Russell via telephone: +12127161161 Kids in the Syndrome Mix of ADHD, LD, Autism Spectrum, Tourette's, Anxiety, and More!: The One Stop Guide for Parents, Teachers, and Other Professionals by Dr. Martin Kutscher New Insights Into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude Magazine article) How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude article) Free Resource: Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Additude article) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest for this episode is the brilliant Julie Lythcott-Haims., the author of the New York Times’ bestselling, and in my opinion, majorly game-changing-in-the-parenting-space book, How to Raise an Adult. She wrote it after noticing that prospective college students at Stanford University, where she was dean of admissions, were being over-parented and as a result, were lacking the resources to develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. In this episode, Julie and I talk about what it takes for a child to be successful—looking at how we define success along the way—and explore what we as parents can do to help our child develop the agency they need to become self-actualized adults. I loved having this conversation with Julie and am still noodling on the many takeaways and aha moments I experienced. I hope you get a lot out of it. Julie Lythcott-Haims' How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 with over 3.5 million views and counting, as well as a forthcoming sequel on how to be an adult, for young adults. Two years later Julie published Real American: A Memoir, a critically-acclaimed and award-winning memoir which examines racism through her experience as a Black and biracial person. Things you’ll learn from this episode What is at the root of fear-based parenting Why Julie says most parents are raising kids from a place of love, ego, and fear Challenges and hardships every child should face in order to be ready to be an adult How we do our children a disservice when we “become” their default executive functioning How we can (and need to) redefine what success looks like The connection between successful adults and a child doing chores (and how to get started if you’re not doing it now) Why happiness in our kids stems from love The benefits of hands-on work for kids developing a sense of agency How to help our kids bolster their self-advocacy skills Resources mentioned for helping differently wired teens launch Julie Lythcott Haims’ website How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Real American: A Memoir Julie’s TED Talk: How to Raise Successful Kids Julie’s TEDxGunnHighSchool Talk: Throw Out the Checklisted Childhood Julie’s TEDxStanford Talk: Be Your Authentic Self How to Be An Adult Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author and reporter, Anya Kamenetz is back on the podcast to talk about her new book The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children’s Lives, And Where We Go Now. The Stolen Year is a powerful look at how the pandemic disrupted children’s lives — their learning, mental health, and overall well-being. The Stolen Year isn’t written specifically for parents of differently wired children, but I thought it was important to really explore what the research and data shows the cost of the past two years has been for our most valuable resource – our children, as well as consider the question – where do we go from here? During our conversation we talked about the trends on decreasing graduation rates, the impact of food scarcity on children and adolescents, and caregiver depression. We also talked about the kinds of resources families need to recover from the pandemic, especially within marginalized communities and more severely impacted populations, and much more. Anya Kamenetz has covered education for many years, including for NPR, where she also co-created the podcast Life Kit:Parenting in partnership with Sesame Workshop. Kamenetz is the author of several acclaimed nonfiction books: Generation Debt ; DIY U ; The Test: Why Our Schools Are Obsessed With Standardized Testing, But You Don’t Have To Be, and The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life. Things you'll learn from this episode What the long-lasting effects of COVID in children’s lives are according to Anya’s research Where we should be focusing our energy — our kids’ learning loss or their mental health and wellbeing The trends on decreasing graduation rates and how that might play out in the next few years for young people Whether experts consider the pandemic to be an ACE (adverse childhood experience) The impact of food scarcity on children during COVID What resources families need to recover from the pandemic, especially for marginalized communities Resources mentioned for the impact of COVID on children Anya Kamenetz’s website The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children’s Lives, and Where We Go Now by Anya Kamenetz Anya Kamenetz Talks About Her Book, The Art of Screentime (Tilt Parenting podcast) The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life by Anya Kamenetz Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I’m talking with Zach Morris, the executive director and development of curriculum and instruction at LEARN Inc. LEARN Inc. is an non-for-profit school in Missoula, Montana in the United States which is approaching education in a thoughtful and alternative way, and with powerful results, especially for their neurodivergent students, which make up to 75% of the student body. Their mission is to facilitate individualized learning opportunities that honor neurodivergence, encourage social collaboration, and foster whole-person growth. And as a result, the kids at LEARN are getting the opportunity to develop with confidence and feeling seen for who they are. I know that this education piece—figuring out how to help our child develop a love of learning and reach their full potential—is one of the most challenging pieces of raising differently wired kids, and I just have to say that talking with Zach left me feeling inspired, hopeful, and motivated. Zach believes there is a different way, and he’s doing his part to push the needle forward. Together we talk about the the philosophy of nonviolent communication, what can happen for our kids when we practice compassion with them, and how parents like us can bring some of Zach’s philosophy into our lives to support our kids. This was one of those mind = blown conversations for me. I hope you like it. Zach Morris M.Ed is a leader in education. He holds a Montana State educators license, he is HANDLE level 1&2 certified, and he is an active pursuant of Non-Violent Communication practices. His current research targets neurodiversity and learning. Things you’ll learn from this episode What it looks like when education is grounded in compassion and the principles of nonviolent communication, ecological literacy, and whole person learning (social, emotional, physiological, and academic) Why Zach believes the key to education is individualization and diversity within the system How a child can be shifted from feeling they do everything wrong to feeling like they can are heard and can contribute How Zach helps a child with PTSD from their previous educational experiences recover How parents can incorporate Zach’s philosophy into their daily lives Why Zach believes that we have choice in everything Resources mentioned for whole-person learning Learn Inc A Deep Dive Into Diagnoses, Assessments, and Labels, with Dr. Melissa Neff The Center for Nonviolent Communication Speak Peace in a World of Conflict Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Dr. Devon MacEachron on Assessing and Supporting Twice-Exceptional Learners Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For today’s episode, I’m bringing multi-award-winning director, producer and executive film producer, Marc Smolowitz, back on the podcast. It was four years ago that Marc first came on the show to talk about a movie he was working on called The G Word, a feature-length documentary about giftedness that asks the urgent equity question – In the 21st century, who gets to be Gifted in America and Why? Marc is currently working on the post-production of the movie so I wanted to invite him back to talk about what the last 4 years have been like in the giftedness community. What has changed? What are the things we need to be looking out for and what initiatives have been created? AND, I also wanted this show to be a part of celebrating the 2nd annual Gifted / Talented / Neurodiversity Awareness Week, a week-long celebration created by Marc and which is happening this very week. The theme for this year’s awareness week is Gifted JOY, and I really love the idea of connecting the concept of joy and empowerment to the conversation surrounding giftedness.Marc Smolowitz is a multi-award-winning director, producer, and executive producer who has been significantly involved in 50+ independent films. His films have been screened at the world’s top-tier festivals such as Sundance, Berlin, Venice, Tribeca, Locarno, Chicago, Palm Springs, SF FILM, AFI Docs, IDFA, and DOC NYC, among others. In 2009, Marc founded 13th Gen, a San Francisco-based company that works with a dynamic range of independent film partners globally to oversee the financing, production, post-production, marketing, sales, and distribution efforts of a vibrant portfolio of films and filmmakers. In 2022, Marc is currently in post-production on THE G WORD – a feature-length documentary about giftedness that asks the urgent equity question – In the 21st century, who gets to be Gifted in America and Why?Things you’ll learn from this episode How the conversation surrounding giftedness and neurodivergence have changed in recent years and how those have impacted the direction fo The G Word Why it’s so important to include the concept of neurodivergence in the broader conversation about gifted and talented populations How we can intentionally use joy to explore and ease pain/trauma narratives, especially for gifted and neurodiverse populations How parents can lean into the joy of raising their gifted children and get involved in celebrating GTN Awareness Week Resources mentioned: 13th Gen, Marc’s production company The G Word Film G/T/N Awareness Week Supporting Black, Gifted Students with Dr. Joy Lawson Davis (Tilt Parenting podcast interview) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Tilt Parenting, I bring back to the show Simone Davies, a Montessori teacher and parent educator who runs a Montessori playgroup in Amsterdam for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers up to four years old. Through her online business, The Montessori Notebook, Simone focuses on helping parents learn how to bring Montessori into their home. Today Simone and I are talking about the “spaces” in our home—specifically how we can best design and set them up to support our differently-wired kids. I’ve watched as Simone developed her virtual e-course, Setting Up Your Home Montessori Style, and I was struck by how the approach she talks about in her course directly relates to the things we as parents can do to support our kids in developing those crucial executive functioning skills, like task initiation, time management, planning, and organizing, as well as fostering independence. In this episode, we’ll talk about how we can set up our homes—our kitchen, bedroom, shoes and coat area, homework space—to support our children in fostering these skills. Simone Davies is also the author of The Montessori Toddler, a comprehensive guide to raising your toddler in a Montessori way. It includes Montessori activities, how to set up your home, and how to encourage cooperation from your children, and The Montessori Baby. Things you’ll learn from this episode How to set up the shoes and coat area to help kids “get out the door” with success and independence How making checklists for our kids can instill in them a sense of responsibility while also easing transitions What parents who aren’t naturally organized can support themselves The gifts of decluttering and clearing our space The importance of making a homework space inviting and distraction-free Tips for setting up spaces to foster more independence in children Why making things attractive, cozy, and comfortable benefits our kids Resources mentioned for supporting children’s growth at home The Montessori Notebook Simone Davies on Strategies for Staying Calm in Difficult Situations Setting Up Your Home Montessori-Style Julie George on the Role of Executive Functioning in Differently-Wired Kids Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On today’s episode I’m talking to Eliza Fricker about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I’ve done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent’s perspective so after reading Eliza’s book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren’t willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind “Missing the Mark” a deeply personal and all too human exploration of a mother’s journey navigating the education system and everyday life with a child who can’t go to school. Eliza’s latest book, Can’t Not Won’t will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers in December 2022.Things you'll learn from this episode What makes demand avoidance more extreme in children with PDA Eliza’s experience in changing her parenting ways to become more flexible Tweaks teachers can use to work with children who have PDA in a classroom setting How PDA may look different than “typical demand avoidance” that we might see in some neurodivergent children What Eliza has learned about herself from parenting a child with PDA Advice for parents who are raising a child with PDA Resources mentioned for PDA Eliza Fricker’s website The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker An Intro to PDA brought to you by Harry Thompson and Laura Kerbey, illustrated by Eliza Fricker Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Twitter Neurodivergent Education and Support Training (N-est) Harry Thompson’s website PDA of North America Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is a Kid’s POV Special episode featuring another conversation with 12-year-old Asher. Our topic? Conflict. More specifically, handling parent-child conflict between the two of us. We’re tackling this topic because I’ve been getting questions from listeners who want to know a) if we even have conflicts at all and b) if so, how we handle them. The easy answer to the first part of that question is DEFINITELY. We DEFINITELY have conflict. I’m very human in that way, as is Asher. Today, we’ll spend the episode answering the second part of that question. We’ll talk about the kinds of things that crop up and cause conflict between us, and then we’ll share with you what that actually looks like in our world—what I do, what Ash does, and most importantly, how we move through and past it. Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination! Debbie Reber is the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more by visiting the About Page. Things you’ll learn from this episode The benefits of talking through and getting clear on expectations (for all members of the family) prior to leaving for a vacation A strategy for using the collaborative problem solving approach to identify, address, and pre-solve concerns ahead of time How to make departure day go more smoothly The benefits of exploring and researching aspects of a vacation time well in advance of the trip (including accommodations, activities, etc.) A strategy for using written schedules coupled with frequent reviews during a vacation keeps everyone’s expectations in check The benefits of bringing a child into the planning process (and letting them determine some of what will happen on vacation) Why it’s useful to work with your child to discover what they need most on vacation and then incorporating it into your daily plan (ie: rest, chill time, etc.) Resources mentioned for handling parent-child conflict Download a PDF of our Family Goals Worksheet Download a PDF of our Vacation Concerns Worksheet Download a PDF of our Daily Vacation Planner Worksheet Look at our Departure Plan whiteboard Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is author, productivity guru, and mom of 5, Laura Vanderkam. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the one we are discussing today, Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. She is also the host of the Before Breakfast podcast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast. I’ve long been a fan of Laura’s books, and so I was excited to talk with her about Tranquility By Tuesday, and honestly, since reading it, I’ve started incorporating a few of her strategies into my world as I try to be more mindful and aware of how I spend my time. The results have been pretty great. That’s why I wanted to share Laura’s work with my community because I know so many of you are dealing with overwhelm and burnout. And my hope is that you’ll take away one or two nuggets that you can play with in your daily life to move the needle closer to tranquility. During our conversation, Laura shared her definition of tranquility, the common myths that get in the way of building more peace in our lives, and why it’s so important for families to have adventures together. She also shared multiple strategies that I promise are easy enough to implement. And again, even though they might seem like small shifts, they can have a big impact in your world. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the forthcoming Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. She is the host of the Before Breakfast podcast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children. Things you'll learn from this episode Laura’s definition of tranquility and pushing back against the perception of not having enough time Advice for parents who want to better manage their energy The barriers and myths that get in the way of building peace and tranquility Strategies to poke holes and reframe the stories that we tell ourselves Why it’s so important for families to have adventures together Simple “rules” or guidelines that can be gamechangers in your daily life Resources mentioned for How We Can Find Tranquility by Tuesday Laura Vanderkam’s website Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters by Laura Vanderkam 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home by Laura Vanderkam I Know How She Does It: How the Most Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time by Laura Vanderkam Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting Stuff Done by Laura Vanderkam Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode features a conversation with Angela Pruess, a licensed clinical therapist and mom of three who wants to help all parents raise emotionally healthy kids that will change the world, by explaining the he(art) and science behind our child’s development and emotional regulation. For this episode, we focus on that elusive thing so many of us are trying to help develop in our kids, but can be very difficult to know exactly where to start and what we should expect over our child’s developmental timeline—self-regulation and emotional regulation. Today we dive deep into what it is, why it’s an important skill for our kids to develop, the different ways we as parents and caregivers and teachers can support our kids in nurturing these skills, and more. Things you’ll learn from this episode What self-regulation / emotional regulation actually is and what it can look like when kids struggle with it Why self-regulation can be developed over time, even when the time line looks different How we might expect development of self-regulation to progress at different ages The importance of modelling self-regulation for our children How we can best support teachers in being our partners in developing our kids’ self-regulation How parents can most effectively do in supporting our kids in learning these skills Strategies for what to do when children are resistant to working on self-regulation Top tips for jump-starting our child’s self-regulation Resources mentioned Parents With Confidence Parents With Confidence on Facebook Children’s Mental Health Rocks on Facebook How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child That Will Succeed in Life How to Be the Best Parent to Your Emotionally Intense Child Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The One Mistake You Want to Avoid Emotional Intelligence Flashcard Bundle Self-Reg: How to Help Your child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Stuart Shanker Dr. Ross Greene Dr. Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain 30 Games & Activities to Boost Self-Regulation Stop, Breathe, & Think App Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are kicking off this season with a conversation with Dr. Stuart Shanker, who I first learned about through my friend Seth Perler as he’s been part of the TEFOS Summit. I love Stuart's message and recently devoured his book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life, and wanted to dive deeper with Stuart about it. In this episode, we get into the ways in which the brain controls the levels of stress, the difference between self-regulation and self-control, and the difference between stress behavior and misbehaving. Stuart also walks us through his 5 steps to Self-Reg, and talks about the power of us as parents and caregivers and educators doing our own self-reg work so we can support the kids around us. Dr. Stuart Shanker (D.Phil) is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. One of his many books, Calm, Alert and Learning: Classroom Strategies for Self-Regulation (2012), is a top-selling educational publication in Canada. Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life (2016), has garnered enthusiastic reviews and media attention throughout North America and has also been published in the United Kingdom, the United States, Poland, Germany, China, South Korea, Japan, the Netherlands, Georgia and the Czech Republic. His latest books are Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators (2019) and Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society (2020) Things you'll learn from this episode How the explosion of stress-related problems in recent years among children has augmented the need for additional self-reg resources for parents and educators How the brain controls the levels of stress and simple strategies that can be used to calm the nervous system response Why self-reg practices for parents and teachers other adults begin with learning how to regulate ourselves The difference between misbehavior and stress behavior How self-regulation mechanisms evolve as we get older The distinction between self-control and self-regulation and the five steps to self-regulation Resources mentioned: The Mehrit Center / Dr. Stuart Shanker’s website Resource Library on Stuart’s website Self-Reg Online Learning & Certificate Programs Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society by Dr. Stuart Shanker Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators by Dr. Stuart Shanker and Dr. Susan Hopkins The Functional Neuroanatomy of Pleasure and Happiness (Overview of Olds and Milner study) Seth Perler’s website A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, P Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the third installment in a series of solocasts specifically about homeschooling 2e children. I know many families of 2e and differently wired kids end up going down the homeschooling road, whether they’re reluctant homeschoolers and they felt “forced” into the decision because they ran out of other options or whether they knew they would homeschool from the moment their child was born. Whatever the case, this episode is for you. In this episode, I share how Asher and I structure our school, what kind of classes he takes, how I figure out what he’s going to focus on, and what a typical school day looks like for us. I wanted to talk about these things because I know that designing a curriculum can be one of the most overwhelming pieces of this puzzle. A quick note: If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to listen to the two other solocast episodes I’ve done on homeschooling 2e children. In Episode 42 I talk about how I made the decision to homeschool even though I had a LOT of resistance to the idea, and in Episode 48, I talk about the actual transition to homeschooling … basically how we survived that first rocky year. Debbie Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in Kids & Family, with more than 4 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series. Things you’ll learn from this episode How Debbie has worked with curriculum advisors in designing the game plan for Asher’s classes The big role developing executive functioning skills plays in Asher’s curriculum Why Debbie believes freedom and flexibility is one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling How Debbie has incorporated outside curriculums into her school approach How Debbie supplements formal curriculum with videos, books, and experiential learning Debbie’s favorite resources for teaching, subject by subject What a typical school day looks like for Debbie and Asher Why Debbie believes it’s critical that Asher participate in the actual design of their schedule and curriculum Resources mentioned for homeschooling 2e children Kathi Kearney (curriculum advisor classes) Kristi Helgeson (curriculum advisor) Gifted Homeschooler’s Forum Athena’s Advanced Academy Yoga with Adrienne (YouTube channel) Life of Fred Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices