"Fine" Dining

Michael & Garrett look back at 20 (+1) restaurant visits and analyze if their scores look correct on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity JUB will help you fill your life with regrets Garrett comes clean about DMing with Gatti's Pizza A full rankings recap at the end We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your fan questions at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: The Cheesecake Factory. If you have ever worked for The Cheesecake Factory and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of The Cheesecake Factory kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett go all the way to south San Francisco just to eat at Chevys Fresh Mex Y'all ready for shits? CheeseGate sets Michael and Garrett off as their server cheeselights them The boys passionately debate the merits of Performance Enhancing Dessert-toppers Pierce reviews the Chevys kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB sells you the Art of Denial We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chevys stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: A Special Look Back at 20 Entries on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity! And in 2 weeks: The Cheesecake Factory. If you have ever worked for The Cheesecake Factory and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of The Cheesecake Factory kids menu, send it to [email protected].

It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) to watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter Bowl Halftime Show Noah Gray from the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs pops in to voice Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita's review of Hooters' Chicken Philly Cheesesteak Garrett pilfers a tin foil birthday hat from another table Hooters employee (and new Best Server) Amy shares her on-the-clock break-up story Willa Mae reviews Hooters kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB has some wet nap slogans he wants to test out Additional voices: Nick Adams, Zeus Benitez, Jessa Day, Grayson Niles We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Huge thanks to our Patreon Producer: Sue Ornelas Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Hooters stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Chevys Fresh Mex! If you have ever worked for Chevys and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chevys kids menu, send it to [email protected].

The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day-style Denzel monologue Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born Emma wins the Headline Game! What does that mean for next week's pick? JUB has a new best-selling item in stock Additional voices: Sean Burgos & Jon Capraro We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chuck E. Cheese stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Hooter's! If you have ever worked for Hooter's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Hooter's kids menu, send it to [email protected].

The boys feel sluggish and greasy as their Cheddar's meal obliterated their bodies Tommy Chong from "Cheech & Chong" reviews Cheddar's cheese fries on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Garrett's You-Must Bowl punishment - where he can only speak to the wait staff in rhyme - tanks our service Michael's dad also tanks our service experience Bathe yourself in the new perfume scent Mediocrité JUB has a ploy to get all the free wood you could ever want from a Home Depot Additional voices: Tommy Chong & Jessa Day We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Cheddar's stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Chuck E. Cheese! If you have ever worked for Chuck E. Cheese and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chuck E. Cheese kids menu, send it to [email protected].

The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus Michael wears a cone of shame Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy JUB rallies against Goldblumers Additional voices: Ernie Sabella & Jessa Day Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Luby's stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen! If you have ever worked for Cheddar's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Cheddar's kids menu, send it to [email protected].

It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars JUB will help you overcome the obstacles in your life Additional voices: Sandy Rose and Nick Adams Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your GattiTown stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Luby's! If you have ever worked for Luby's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Luby's kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chuy's stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: GattiTown! If you have ever worked for GattiTown and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the GattiTown kids menu, send it to [email protected].

The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab A busser tries to steal a swimming pool JUB will teach you manners! 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Pappadeaux stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Chuy's! If you have ever worked for Chuy's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chuy's kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett survive Waffle House on Halloween weekend at midnight Vape Man: Coming to a store near you this holiday season! Cheese Correspondent Steven has special guest Jerry Springer read his review of the Covered Hash Browns Former Waffle House employee Kendyll tells us just what happens at 3am at a Waffle House A Waffle House proposal lasts less than 24 hours JUB wants to repurpose your waffle batter A very special Headline Game: LIGHTNING ROUND! Michael has 2 minutes on the clock to answer Garrett's headline barrage correctly Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Waffle House stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen! If you have ever worked for Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Pappadeaux kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett annoint their friend Steven as their Cheese Correspondent Steven's jaw isn't working so Joel McHale reads Steven's review for him (around the 47 minute mark) More You-Must Bowl shenanigans ensued as Michael recruits his mom to make a painting of Bob's Big Boy Michael's mom tells her side of the story when Michael was pulled over by Officer Hot Dog (hear the original story in episode 8!) The boys have truly bad service JUB works inside of the Big Boy statue Garrett takes on Michael's mom in this week's Headline Game Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Bob's Big Boy stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Waffle House! If you have ever worked for Waffle House and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Waffle House kids menu, send it to [email protected].

It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment Across the Sky podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weather forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rainforest Kids Menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Michael & Garrett hand out some high scores Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Rainforest Cafe stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Bob's Big Boy! If you have ever worked for Bob's Big Boy and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Bob's Big Boy kids menu, send it to [email protected].

It's Michael's 34th birthday dinner with almost a dozen friends! Michael & Garrett speculate why the bathroom is deafening Garrett sides with the waiter as a Dungeons & Dragons battle breaks out in the restaurant JUB will annoy your friends to ensure they're on time to their appointments 10 year-old Luke was snubbed by Gyu-Kaku in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go in-depth on the expansive menu at Gyu-Kaku, even if they aren't always sure what they're eating Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Gyu-Kaku stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Rainforest Cafe! If you have ever worked for Rainforest Cafe and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Rainforest Cafe kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett are immensely disappointed by the churro stand next to Bubba Gump Michael tells the story of getting pulled over in Alabama "for having California license plates" Forrest Gump narrates the boys' adventure JUB makes souvenir pennies 7 year-old Nora "hates the man on the bench" in another adorable Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go HAM on Forrest Gump trivia Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ! If you have ever worked for Gyu-Kaku and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Gyu-Kaku kids menu, send it to [email protected].

WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly! Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden The boys think they can top Olive Garden's in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own! JUB gets a real job What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden?? Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job 3 year-old Yaretzi gives up on reviewing the kids menu, so her dad does it for her 7 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett's night at Olive Garden: "We're All Family Here" (10:15) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk Performed by Nick Adams, Cristina Bidagor, Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & Kyle Schieffer Additional voices by Kyle Schieffer, Alessandra Hill, & Jonny from Fiverr "All We Want Is You (To Be Our Server)" (featuring alice the g00n) (26:45) Music by James McEnelly Lyrics by Garrett Zwerk & Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n Additional voices by James McEnelly, Gabe Alvarez, Natalie Paniccia, & Caroline Paniccia "Send It Back!" (32:12) Music by Gabe Alvarez Lyrics by Gabe Alvarez Performed by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk Backing vocals by Gabe Alvarez Additional Voices by Alessandra Hill "Charge for Sauce" (42:39) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Ben Valdmets, Michael Ornelas, & Garrett Zwerk Additional Voices by Kyle Schieffer "Room for Dessert" (featuring Ghettosocks) (52:48) Music by Fresh Kils Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Darren Pyper Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Ghettosocks, & alice the g00n "Perfectly Adequate" (featuring alice the g00n) (1:04:19) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer "We're All Family Here (Reprise)" (1:08:49) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Nick Adams, & Cristina Bidagor Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer Additional voices by alice the g00n & Ghettosocks All songs mastered by Perrier Grey Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Olive Garden stories at [email protected] Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! TELL A FRIEND ABOUT OUR SHOW! Next time on Fine Dining: Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.! If you have ever worked for Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.'s kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett drive an hour away to review a Pizza Hut that still has a dine-in option The boys break their own rules because they were lied to by Yelp Why is Pizza Hut a magnet for cars crashing into them?? The boys discuss Pizza Hut's marketing plan from the '90s to laser their logo onto the surface of the moon Garrett gives a eulogy Michael & Garrett fight over whether or not this dessert item is eligible to be rated Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Pizza Hut stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on iTunes. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Olive Garden! If you have ever worked for Olive Garden and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Olive Garden kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett review Denny's (at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night) The Wild West of late night dining: college students and homeless people galore "What's Going on over There?" is the theme of the night as there are so many unanswerable mysteries from this wild night, but the boys do their best to solve them The restaurant erupts with applause for a blindfolded Garrett after he finally gets his dessert to his mouth due to the You Must Bowl JUB hocks Peace & Quiet™ 4 year-old Preston from Texas reviews the Denny's Kids Menu Super-Server Keith from Outback Steakhouse gets a run for his money from 85 year-old Shohreh, a battle-hardened veteran of the graveyard shift Michael & Garrett discuss a casting call for Milk Steve the Cream Lord Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Denny's stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Pizza Hut! If you have ever worked for Pizza Hut and have a story to share, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett review Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks Michael goes off-the-menu with a discontinued burger order The boys enter a lottery for a free bike JUB has yet another business ploy 10 empty mugs of beer on an older couple's table raise more questions than they answer The boys gush about THE BEST FRIES IN THE GAME 5 year-old Joaquin reviews the kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings TWO listener-submitted stories about break-ups and infidelity involving Island's Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! Next time on Fine Dining: Denny's! If you have ever worked for Denny's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Denny's kids menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett review The Old Spaghetti Factory The most mediocre dinner so far takes a sharp turn when the boys discover the place is super haunted An interview with special guest, Paranormal Investigator/Psychic/Author Jeff Dwyer Michael raises some eyebrows when the You Must Bowl forces him to bring a pineapple to dinner and insist it's his son Michael & Garrett tell you all about why they nicknamed the guy sitting across from them "Milk Steve the Cream Lord" JUB offers to bust ghosts 7 year-old Julian reviews the kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Will Michael go 3-0 against Garrett in The Headline Game? Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Old Spaghetti Factory stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! The Search Continues: next time on Fine Dining we dine at Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks! If you have ever worked for Island's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Island's kids' menu, send it to [email protected].

Michael & Garrett review Buffalo Wild Wings A ceiling leak rains on the boys' parade The atmosphere almost gives Garrett a panic attack The security feed lets the boys know THEY'RE BEING WATCHED Garrett sets his mouth on fire JUB is back with a brand new business Michael writes and performs B-Dubs's unofficial corporate birthday song Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Buffalo Wild Wings stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! The Search Continues: next time on Fine Dining we dine at The Old Spaghetti Factory!

Michael & Garrett review Outback Steakhouse The boys bow to the greatness of the perfect appetizer JUB will punch your lights out Michael & Garrett are mistaken for corporate quality control/private shoppers as management rolls out the red carpet 9 year-old Miles reviews the kids menu Michael issues an apology to Anthony Anderson's brother A former Outback employee remembers the time a couple got 5 orders of the Aussie Cheese Fries Michael challenges Garrett to The Headline Game Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Outback Steakhouse stories at [email protected]. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one! The Search Continues: next time on Fine Dining we dine at Buffalo Wild Wings!