Fight For Love

We made it to 100 episodes!And there’s no better way to mark this moment than by coming back to where it all began—real stories, honest voices, and a bucket full of hope.In this special episode, Rosie is joined by familiar voices from the early days—Mindy, Miranda, Ruth, and Marzena—women who have walked the long road of recovery and come out the other side. Not perfectly. Not painlessly. But deeply transformed.Together, we ask the question so many of you are quietly carrying:What does recovery actually look like… years later?And perhaps even more importantly:Is there really hope on the other side of this?Their answers are not polished or theoretical—they’re lived.You’ll hear how recovery becomes less of a checklist and more of a way of life. How honesty, vulnerability, and connection stop feeling like effort and start becoming second nature. How the tools you build in the early days become anchors in the storms you never saw coming.Each story is different—some continued in groups, some now lead others—but the thread is the same:healing that overflows.Into families.Into churches.Into communities.Across countries.This is what it looks like when God does more than just “get you through.”This is what it looks like when He restores, strengthens, and sends you back out with something to give.You’ll also hear a gentle but brave invitation:to step out of hiding,to tell your story,and to discover that freedom often begins the moment you walk into the light.Because here’s the truth we want you to hold onto—whether you’re at day one or year ten:It gets better.Not easier in every way.But fuller. Stronger. More grounded. More free.And you are not alone.So wherever you are today—tired, hopeful, unsure, or hanging on by a thread—let this episode be your reminder:There is hope on the other side. And it’s worth staying for.

What if some of the most common beliefs about sex today were built on deeply flawed science?In this episode of Fight For Love, Rosie Makinney pulls back the curtain on Alfred Kinsey—the researcher whose work helped redefine what the modern world considers “normal” sexual behavior.After Freud argued that repression was dangerous, Kinsey arrived with something even more persuasive: statistics. His reports claimed to reveal what Americans were really doing behind closed doors. The results were explosive. Behaviors once considered unthinkable suddenly looked common—and once something appears common, culture begins to treat it as normal.But there’s a side of this story that most people have never heard.In this episode, Rosie walks you through the disturbing and controversial foundations behind Kinsey’s research—data drawn from prison populations, sex offenders, and underground sexual networks that somehow came to define “normal” human behavior. You’ll hear why critics across multiple disciplines have questioned his methods for decades, and why the consequences of those studies still echo through conversations about pornography, sexual empowerment, and even childhood sexuality today.If you’ve ever wondered why modern sexual norms feel so radically different from previous generations, or why restraint is sometimes portrayed as unhealthy, this episode will connect the dots.Because before a culture changes its behavior, it usually changes what it believes is normal.And few people did more to reshape that definition than Alfred Kinsey.

This week, Rosie Makinney takes us on a thought-provoking journey through the origins of our cultural beliefs about sex, self-control, and repression. Drawing back the curtain on Sigmund Freud’s lasting influence, Rosie Makinney explores how modern notions about sexual desire, restraint, and guilt have been quietly shaped by one man’s radical theories in turn-of-the-century Vienna.We’ll unpack how phrases like “boys will be boys” and “men are just wired that way” are rooted in Freud’s controversial ideas about repression, and examine the seismic shift that moved sexual self-control from a virtue to something seen as potentially damaging. Join us as we trace how these psychological frameworks have woven themselves into everyday advice, church conversations, and even marital dynamics—sometimes overshadowing Biblical wisdom about mutuality and self-government.Get ready to question what you’ve inherited, rethink cultural assumptions, and discover why understanding these roots is essential for navigating love, faith, and healthy relationships.

In this powerful and wide-ranging conversation, Rosie explores the concept of power — specifically, how sex can quietly shift from covenantal connection to a method of self-regulation… and ultimately become leverage inside relationships and culture.What happens when intimacy stops being mutual self-giving and becomes stress relief?What happens when appetite governs us instead of character?And what happens to a society when that shift occurs at scale?This episode traces that pattern across history — and brings it right into our modern digital moment.Regulation vs. CovenantRosie introduces the concept of the “regulation-ship.”When sex becomes the way we regulate our internal world —to soothe stress, manage anxiety, or stabilize emotion —it slowly reshapes intimacy itself.Instead of two people building a relationship rooted in covenant, commitment, and mutual self-gift, intimacy becomes organized around relief.And relief is powerful.When relief becomes central, sex becomes leverage.Historical Patterns of Desire & PowerThis is not a new story.Rosie draws on:Augustine of Hippo and his concept of libido dominandi — the lust to dominate.Thomas Aquinas, who warned that unchecked desire narrows our moral vision and clouds judgment.Throughout history, thinkers have understood that appetite, when ungoverned, does not simply satisfy — it reshapes perception.Whatever governs desire, governs the person.And when this happens collectively, it reshapes nations.Ancient Rome: From Discipline to IndulgenceRome did not collapse overnight.It shifted.From civic discipline and family orderto indulgence and entitlement.As sexual boundaries loosened and family structures weakened, leaders attempted moral reforms — but virtue cannot be legislated back once appetite has become expectation.When restraint fades, authority eventually fills the vacuum.French Revolution: The Erosion of RestraintChanging ideas about authority, restraint, and moral order weakened France long before the revolution exploded.When crisis came, society lacked shared foundations.What followed was chaos — and then a desperate demand for clarity and control.Revolutions often promise freedom.They frequently end in enforcement.Weimar Germany: Permissiveness Amid InstabilityBerlin in the 1920s became synonymous with sexual experimentation and nightlife culture.But underneath the permissiveness was anxiety, fragmentation, and economic instability.When social bonds weaken and meaning erodes, people often seek relief.Relief feels like freedom.But relief cannot stabilize a culture.Soviet Union: The “Glass of Water” TheoryEarly Bolshevik thinkers promoted the idea that sexual expression should be as simple and consequence-free as drinking a glass of water.The traditional family was viewed as a competing loyalty to the state.The result?Rapid social unraveling.Eventually, under Joseph Stalin, family structures were re-enforced from above — not through virtue, but through authority.When internal restraint collapses, external control increases.The Modern Digital Age: Pornography as Efficient PowerToday, pornography is arguably the most efficient form of libido dominandi ever created.Instant.Private.Algorithmically amplified.For the first time in human history, adolescents have unlimited access to sexual imagery without relational cost.The consequences are emerging in:Increased anxiety and fragmentationAltered relational expectationsGrowing governmental interest in digital regulation and surveillanceWhen appetite scales digitally, governance follows.Central Questions from This EpisodeWhat ultimately shapes society — restraint or appetite?What are we willing to trade for stability?When children are at risk, how much authority are we willing to grant in exchange for protection?How do we reclaim intimacy from becoming a regulation-ship?Final EncouragementRosie closes with this challenge:True freedom is not the absence of restraint. It is self-government anchored in truth.Healthy relationships are built on covenant, not coping.On mutual self-gift, not mutual regulation.In a culture governed by appetite, choosing discipline, character, and clarity becomes an act of quiet resistance.Take heart. Stay curious. And keep leaning into the One who holds you steady.

In this thoughtful and compassionate episode, Rosie Makinney addresses the deeply personal struggles women face when confronting the false belief that simply being more sexually available will solve problems stemming from a spouse's pornography use. She speaks directly to two groups: women quietly enduring rejection and those who feel they can never do enough, highlighting the emotional toll both dynamics take.Rosie Makinney explores how Western culture and history—starting with the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution—have shifted the meaning and purpose of sex within marriage. Rather than fostering connection, sex has too often become a way to regulate tension and manage internal stresses, paving the way for pornography to enter relationships not as an outlier, but as a symptom of a much deeper system.She offers gentle affirmation that the pain women experience in these scenarios is not proof of personal inadequacy, but a result of cultural and relational forces they did not create. Ultimately, Rosie Makinney reminds listeners that clarity is essential for healing, and that it's possible to step out of shame and into a deeper understanding of the real battle taking place.Key Topics CoveredThe Emotional Cost of Rejection: Why repeated rejection fosters feelings of invisibility and self-doubt (00:00–04:27).Transactional Intimacy: How the pressure to "do more" can lead to exhaustion and disconnection, as sex becomes a tool for stabilizing a partner's emotions instead of building closeness.Cultural Shifts: Historical roots of how sex came to be used for managing internal pressures rather than fostering shared intimacy (starting with the Enlightenment and continuing through the Industrial Revolution).Pornography as Symptom: How pornography intersects with these patterns, offering relief without relationship, and ultimately displacing genuine intimacy.It's Not Your Fault: Reassurance that women's experiences are shaped by systems and beliefs they didn't choose—and that their pain is real and valid.Clarity Leads to Healing: Understanding these patterns is the first step in moving away from shame and toward true healing.Notable Quotes“What you’re feeling makes sense, and it’s not evidence of your inadequacy, I promise.”"Sex starts to feel less like something shared and more like something that keeps the peace. Not because you don’t care, but because it feels like the cost of emotional stability.""Pornography makes a kind of sense. It offers control over arousal, over timing, over outcome... That’s why pornography doesn’t just exist alongside intimacy, it quietly displaces it.""This was never about you. It wasn’t your body. It wasn’t your effort. It wasn’t your failure. You were trying to love inside rules you didn’t write."Resources & Next StepsFor more support, truth, and encouragement, visit fightforloveministries.com Takeaway:You are not alone, and the struggle you’re experiencing is not your fault. Understanding the broader cultural patterns can bring relief, validation, and the first steps toward authentic connection and healing.

In this powerful solo episode, Rosie Makinney unpacks the familiar phrase "pornography is every man's battle" and explores why it can feel so unsettling—especially to women. Far from simply offering reassurance, that phrase, Rosie contends, acts as a form of misdirection, subtly lowering resistance and shifting focus away from the deep, formational impact of pornography on individuals and relationships.Key Discussion PointsThe Phrase "Every Man's Battle":Often used in church circles, this phrase can unintentionally minimize the seriousness and formative power of pornography. Rosie Makinney dissects how it reframes the struggle in a way that makes it seem inevitable and merely manageable, rather than something requiring ongoing, intentional resistance.Sexual Imagery and Formation:Drawing parallels with marketing and advertising, Rosie highlights how repeated exposure to sexual imagery shapes our desires, attention, and even attachments over time—often subconsciously.Biblical Context & Spiritual Stakes:Rosie Makinney dives into scripture’s treatment of sex as spiritually weighty and transformative. She discusses how sexual distortion is never treated as a “side issue” in the Bible and connects this with modern conversations on autonomy and self-regulation.Minimization & Passivity:The language we use shapes what we tolerate and how we respond. By treating pornography as inevitable or common, we can become less honest, less equipped, and more passive in the face of its formative effects.Role of Practice Over Belief:Using the example of ancient idolatry versus modern patterns, Rosie explains that it’s often our repeated practices—not just our professed beliefs—that shape us most.Freedom and Transformation:The episode concludes with a call for honesty, clarity, and the courage to renounce—not negotiate with—what’s formative and destructive. The gospel, Rosie argues, doesn't promise management of idols but true freedom and transformation.Key Quotes“When we minimize what shapes us, we don’t make life easier—we make ourselves less equipped to respond honestly.”“Inevitability is not a gospel category. The gospel says: You were enslaved, but you have been set free.”“Clarity isn’t cruelty. It’s kindness. And in a war that hides in plain sight, naming what forms us is the first step towards real freedom.”Resources & Next StepsVisit fightforloveministries.com for more truth, tools, and encouragement.Listen to last week's episode for deeper biblical and historical context on sex and formation. Take heart. Stay curious. Continue leaning into the One who holds you steady. 00:00 "Rethinking the Battle on Pornography"03:03 "Rethinking Pornography's Influence"06:59 "Scripture's View on Sex"09:40 "From God to Self-Worship"15:30 "Who or What Shapes Us?"16:31 "Trusting God Amid Human Struggles"

Have you ever felt that pornography doesn’t just feel uncomfortable… it feels dark?Not awkward.Not “just a habit.”But heavy — in a way that’s hard to explain.Welcome to this thought-provoking episode of Fight For Love, where host Rosie Makinney takes us on a deep dive into a question many have felt but struggled to articulate: Why does pornography feel so dark? In this episode, Rosie explores the roots of this uncomfortable instinct, tracing it back through history, ancient ritual, and Scripture. You'll discover how sex has always held profound spiritual and formative power—not just as an act, but as something that shapes trust, identity, and destiny.Drawing on stories of ancient pagan deities like Baal, Asherah, and Ishtar, Rosie reveals how sexual acts were central to worship, community, and personal security thousands of years ago. She explains how these patterns have quietly woven themselves into modern life, often hiding behind normalization and habit rather than loud rebellion.This episode isn’t just about history—it’s about understanding the spiritual weight behind our cultural practices today, especially those that take something sacred and turn it into spectacle, consumption, and control. If you’ve ever felt uneasy about the presence of pornography and wondered if you’re overreacting, this conversation will validate your instincts and equip you with a richer perspective.Join Rosie as she gently but powerfully shines a light on the unseen war that pornography wages—not by shaming, but by restoring clarity, truth, and hope.

In this powerful new chapter of Fight For Love, host Rosie Makinney reframes the battle against pornography as a war on truth itself. Through the timeless fairy tale of the Princess and the Pea, Rosie explores the deep spiritual sensitivity of betrayed wives, likening their discomfort and intuition to a holy birthright rather than fragility. She challenges cultural narratives that minimize the impact of betrayal, and encourages women to honor their discernment as part of their royal identity in Christ. This episode is a call to courage, truth-telling, and reclaiming covenant dignity in a world eager to numb it.

This week's episode is an intimate conversation between Rosie Makinney and her husband, Mark, as they dive straight into the spiritual heart of pornography addiction. No punches are pulled in their conversation as they tackle the spiritual root of addiction, and the need for individuals to fully surrender control and rely on God for recovery. Drawing from their own crazy story, their love for the stories of C.S.Lewis, and many years of working in the trenches with couples in recovery, Mark and Rosie reframe this painful and difficult journey as a potential source of unexpected and tremendous blessings. This is one to enjoy with your partner!www.fightforloveministries.orgwww.markmakinney.com

Are you concerned about how to raise your children in today's hypersexualized culture? In this episode of "Fight For Love," host Rosie Makinney welcomes guest Barb Winters, an expert in promoting healthy relationships. They dive deep into the challenges parents face, such as discovering their children's engagement in undesirable behaviors like sending nudes, and watching pornographic videos. Barb and Rosie acknowledge the difficulties parents encounter and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and consequences while being present and available for their children. They shed light on the alarming reality that children are not only preyed upon by the pornography industry but are also victims. To confront this issue, the conversation turns to the significance of starting conversations about the dangers of pornography from a young age. They discuss the importance of understanding the devices children have access to and having calm conversations about their behavior to alleviate fear of judgment or punishment. Barb shares a personal story about her son's involvement with pornography and the steps they took as a family to address it. Barb's book Sexpectations is a valuable resource, providing insights into what a healthy relationship looks like and practical advice for what to do when your kids have been exposed to porn. Share this episode with the parents of your children's friends as an easy way to open up the discussion and get on the same page.

Are you struggling to understand your husband's behavior and suspect that he may have a mood or personality disorder? In this episode, Rosie is joined by Julie St.Onge, an expert on mental health and addiction, to dive into the importance of mental health screenings and how they can impact the journey of recovery from addiction. Julie discusses the different types of mood and personality disorders, including sociopathy, histrionic behavior, narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and ADD, and also explains how these disorders can affect behavior, emotions, and attachment styles. Listening to this episode will provide you with valuable insights and a deeper understanding of the potential underlying issues that may be contributing to your husband's actions. Julie offers practical advice on navigating these complex challenges, including the need for long-term therapy and the importance of comprehensive evaluations, such as psych evaluations and MMPI tests. Today's episode is all about giving you the clarity and tools you need to support your husband and make informed decisions about your future. https://outofthefog.website/https://newenglandcoachingservices.com/https://fightforloveministries.org/

Today, Tim Muehlhoff, author, speaker and professor of communication at Biola University, joins Rosie on the show to delve into the fascinating topic of Spiritual Warfare in marriage, especially in marriages struggling because of a pornography addiction. In this episode they discuss the tactics of Satan and look at all the ways he attempts to discourage and divide us. Praying warfare prayers does have to be complicated or scary, it's all a matter of understanding your authority, or rather whose authority you represent. Grab your sword, and your coffee, and take a listen! Defending Your Marriage bookJoin the Fight For Love Facebook group

Joining Rosie today to tackle the bewildering and overwhelming topic of having your husband arrested for illegal sexual acting out are Jen, Rebecca and Lynn.In this extended episode we cover how to:Cope in the early days following a shocking, and often public, discovery,Make the decision whether to stay in the relationship,Deal with people talking about you and giving unwanted advice. Manage day to day when your husband is not around,Best help your children.Create a recovery plan after release. And even though it is hard to listen to the pain and devastation that this addiction causes, the hope and faith that these ladies share towards the end of the episode is truly redemptive and beautiful.Join the private FB group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/FightForLoveFellowship

If you feel like your sexual identity has been shattered following betrayal, it's hard to imagine ever feeling positive towards sex again. Here to help us tackle this sensitive and painful topic is author/coach/founder of StrongWives, and co-host of the popular Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast, Bonny Burns. In today's conversation we look at how betrayal ruptures our sexual identity and the steps you can take to reclaim it. Sexual Clarity Group with BonnieUnlocking Your Orgasm book

When you are dating someone who is struggling with pornography evaluating whether you have a long term future together is complex and tricky. To help us tackle this difficult decision we have broken it down into 3 parts:Step 1 - Evaluating your own Struggle with SingledomStep 2: Understanding the reality of marrying a porn addict Step 3 - Assessing the strength of your partner's recovery and long term likelihood of sobriety. Joining Rosie on the show today to explore step 1 is the founder and director of SheRecovery.com, Crystal Renaud Day who has written the immensely helpful guide to singleness and dating Dating Done Right. Written as the guide she had always searched for as a single Christian living in the aftermath of the purity culture, Crystal shares the value of pursuing contentment right where you are, which will in turn give you the best chance of discerning exactly who the right husband is for you.If you would like to be considered to be part of the next podcast panel sharing your experience of dating a porn addict, whether you decided to go ahead and get engaged/married or not, we would love to hear from you. Email [email protected] and leave a brief voice mail telling her what you think women in this situation need to hear.

If you have ever felt deep in your bones that there is something dreadfully wrong with the way the world AND the church think about sex, then this episode is a MUST LISTEN. Returning to the show is clinical psychologist and founder of Authentic Intimacy, Dr. Juli Slattery, to talk about her mind-blowing and paradigm-shifting new book ‘God Sex and Your Marriage.’ Juli brings a much needed perspective, reframing our painful sex lives and helping us understand how the pursuit of true sexual intimacy begins not in the bedroom but in the throne room. Eminently relatable and practical, Juli’s words of wisdom are just the tonic for anyone who feels stuck and demoralized about their sex life. Buy Juli's Book God Sex and Your MarriageAuthentic Intimacy Buy Rosie's Book Fight For LoveFight For Love Websitehttps://www.podcastics.com/episode/39830/link/

Today in the second part of our divorce panel, we get down to brass tacks and discuss what the process of getting divorced looked like for Ruth, Tami and Jen. We talk about finding the right legal help, other forms of support, timelines, and knowing best when to try and negotiate things on your own. Using their hard won wisdom, the panel share all the things that they wished someone had told them before they started travelling this path, and also what they have learnt about themselves and their relationship with God through this process.

Returning to the show to help unpack one of the most common questions we receive here at Fight For Love are Ruth, Jen and Tami. Deciding whether to hang in there for a bit longer or to call it quits is one of the most difficult decisions a betrayed partner can face. There are no easy answers, every situation is unique. However, there are common threads that can bring validation and clarity to those in the painful and confusing fog. Today our panelists take us through the emotional, mental and spiritual journey of deciding to get divorced, sharing all the things they learnt along the way with honesty and compassion. And for those of you desperate for a glimmer of hope, curl up somewhere cozy and listen in to these precious ladies describing what their life is like now compared to how it was before.

Next time you get overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy because you think you can't compete with the women in pornography, take 10 for yourself and listen to this. Put a post it on your mirror that reminds you to look up every time you look in. The relief you seek from a broken covenant can never be found in your reflection, only in Christ.Take heart, God is using this deep pain of comparison to draw you into a deeper level of intimacy with Him. He is inviting you to bravely open that pressure valve, to look inside yourself, locate the pieces of your broken heart and hand them over.Remember, you don’t need to try harder to fix your outside, what you need is divine intervention to heal and restore your inside.Take a listen to Oxygen Mask #1 - When you don't feel Strong Enough Fight For Love Website

For those of you who have struggled with pornography yourself, or have ever felt pressured by your partner to watch it with him or create images of yourself, this episode is for you.Jessica Harris is a leading voice and trail-blazer on the topic of female porn usage who shares with a level of honesty and insight that is literally shifting attitudes around the world. Jessica joins me today to talk about her own struggle with pornography and the invitation to grace that she found in the midst of her secret shame. And even if this isn't your own personal struggle, do take a listen as she gives ESSENTIAL guidance on how to help those you know who are dealing with this.Buy Jessica's book QuenchedConnect with Jessica at her websiteJessica's InstagramBuy Rosie's book Fight For Love