EP368: The New Rules of Fertility #3: The Rise of Soft Power

 Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve gotta have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy in the whole clown car of low vibe, fertility, journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin. Fertility Mindset Master, former prosecutor and recovering type a control freak.

Perfect. I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell.

Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. If trying harder were the answer, you’d already be pregnant. Women who are succeeding on the fertility journey now are not hustling harder. They’re mastering soft power. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 360 8.

The New Rules of Fertility Success, the Rise of Soft Power Loves. I am so excited to be continuing in this series that we’re doing. On the new Rules of Fertility success, it delights me because this is the kind of shit I wish somebody told me all those years ago. When I was a prosecutor, I had one speed and that was crush it.

It was all about pushing harder. It was all about working myself to the bone. It was all about striving and doing everything that I possibly could from a place of fear, chaos, limitation. Lack, scarcity, and most importantly, my own fears that I wasn’t gonna be enough in order to have the baby, the baby boy that I knew was meant for me.

In this series, I’m gonna continue to walk you through what the real rules of fertility success look like today. The old way of approaching this journey through the very rigid and masculine rules that we’ve been talking about, they’re freaking falling apart. Now when you hear about soft. Power. Do not worry.

My powerhouses. This is not about being passive, it’s not about giving up, and it’s certainly not about descending into the kind of femininity that makes you a wet noodle. Now, most of us were raised with the idea that power is about force. It’s about aggression, it’s about overwork, striving, exhaustion.

It’s all of those things that as women take us to a place of depletion. So when we talk about soft power, it’s about. Alignment. It’s about emotional regulation. It’s about clarity. It’s about vision. It’s also about receptivity and influence. It’s an approach to having power in your life that’s not at all aggressive.

It’s you really stepping into a place of authority and clarity that allows you to approach your journey with a degree of expectation and certainty that does not exist when you are approaching things from. Force and force is exhausting. Soft power is regenerative. It makes you feel alive. It makes you feel clear, and you get out of the fog of war that can so often.

Dominate us on this journey because we are just in a constant state of struggle. Force brings struggle, and force is the antithesis of what brings about fertility. When you think about all of the women that have appeared on this podcast, every single one of them was exercising a form of soft power. They all in one way or another, describe.

Spending, the pushing, the shoving, the desperation that is force and stepping into a place of influence, clarity, certainty, faith, and all of the things that you’ve heard them describe. Soft power is about influence. Not force. It is regulation without rigidity. It is authority without aggression. It is receptivity without collapse.

And all of this begins to come together when you have nervous system regulation, emotional coherence, your hormones are in check, especially your cortisol, and most importantly, you have decision clarity. This is both physiological. And strategic force is failing high achieving women. Now we are all awake to the triggers that are often used to push women into fear, panic, and despair on this journey, and frankly, we’re just not up for it anymore.

If you’ve been listening to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, you’ve heard women who were told they had a less than 1% chance. You’ve heard women. Who have been told they couldn’t get pregnant with their own eggs. And boom. If you’re listening to this podcast, I know you’re already disciplined, already optimizing, and probably up to this point you have sacrificed a shit ton in your life and none of that.

Has worked, which is why it’s time for us to pivot. Getting out of the pushing and shoving into a way of approaching our journey that allows us to leverage our nature as women to use things like influence, vision, emotional coherence, and receptivity to get what it is that we want. Babies. Nobody needs panic at 2:00 AM or micromanaging their cycles anymore if that actually worked.

We do that and never talk about this journey ever again. The other thing that you have to understand about soft power is it a hundred percent lines up with biological realities. We know that. Hyper vigilance signals a lack of safety to your nervous system. When your nervous system believes that it’s unsafe, what does the science tell us?

Our reproductive systems can become suppressed when we have cortisol shooting through our veins for an extended period of time. AKA. Chronic stress. Now we know that that’s one part of the puzzle, but it is an undeniable part of the puzzle that more and more people are paying attention to, especially if you’ve done multiple rounds of IVF are otherwise healthy and are still not getting and staying pregnant.

I also want you to understand that soft power isn’t. Passivity soft power is a version of higher order Control. Force is all about control through pressure and striving. Soft power is control and clarity through alignment. One of the critical hallmarks of soft power is being able to make decisions from discernment, not panic.

Not lack in scarcity, and most certainly not doubt. And when you put all of this together, this feels strong. This feels at peace. This feels open, this feels receptive, and this feels like a more complete version of you rather than just. The scared version of you controlling everything and controlling your perspective.

Let’s talk about the identity shift that starts to happen when a woman moves from force into soft power on her fertility journey. Number one, it feels fucking good. I’m gonna tell you, it took me a long time to get there, but once you start to engage it. You are going to find a level of clarity, intuition, alignment, and, and true discernment that we’ve been talking about that just brings a whole hell of a lot of peace to your fertility journey.

But the best way for for you to understand this shift is by contrast. Let’s look at how approaching your journey from force can look. A woman who is stuck in force is all about hustle fights. And pushes harder and everything feels like a battle. She’s constantly agonizing over the timeline, her age, statistics, what so and so in a white coat, said it’s not her in her power.

There is a feeling that these things are happening to her and it often can signal a victim mentality around the fertility journey. A woman who is leveraging soft power on this journey doesn’t need guarantees. She understands that she and her decision making is her guarantee on this journey. She doesn’t need to scrutinize and over obsess about anything.

She’s open, she’s receptive. She has calm conversations with the members of her bump squad. She takes in information. She is discerning with it. She’s also allowing her intuition. To drive her. I mean, so many women, including myself, who have lived this journey and, and just knew that all of the doom and the gloom wasn’t their story.

Speak of this. We’re often encouraged to indulge in self-doubt, like somehow self-doubt makes us stronger. But the woman who is leveraging soft power, she sees herself as a leader on her journey, not somebody that things are just happening to, she takes full responsibility. She walks with. Ease. Now, that doesn’t mean she’s perfect, and it also doesn’t mean that she doesn’t experience some fear, but she understands what’s happening.

When she feels fearful, she can say to herself, okay, something in me is triggered. There’s something in me that needs reassurance. Let me see what that is. So this is a person who is self-possessed and sees herself as powerful and not. A victim of circumstance. She discerns, she decides, she trusts, and she moves deliberately from the inside out.

This is a woman who is walking with confidence through her journey. As opposed to relying strictly on force. A woman who is walking her fertility journey leading with soft power knows that she doesn’t have to force anything. It’s not about hubris or being an egomaniac. It’s being aligned with what she knows to be true and she can confidently move through her journey.

For that reason, she doesn’t have to negotiate, beg, or plead. Burnout is no longer a badge of honor, and women who are finding success on this journey quicker and under circumstances that they were told were not possible are doing so because they are getting their nervous system regulated. They are shifting their identity into being the woman who can, instead of running around with labels like infertile, too old, too late.

Two hopeless. You’ve gotta trade all of that in and walk your journey with that soft power that we’ve been talking about. Let’s do a fun little diagnostic. How can you tell if you are trapped in force, not soft power number one. You feel behind. Number two, you panic at every symptom. Number three, you can’t remember the last time you really enjoyed your life, even for a few moments.

Number five, you frequently catch yourself saying, I will be so happy when number six, you can’t rest without a sense of guilt. And number seven, you spend so much time constantly worried about what is going to happen next. It’s like walking through your life. Holding your breath. Now, none of this is criticism.

Loves all of this is about gaining the kind of self-awareness so that you can make that identity shift. When you walk with soft power, you’re not constantly worried about who’s gonna cheat you, who’s gonna jack you, or this doc treated you wrong. Like instead of that, you can work collaboratively. You can be in a place where you express yourself thoroughly and clearly as opposed to expecting anyone on this journey to save you.

Fix you. That makes you an asset, not a liability. As you’re moving through your journey, and that shit’s real. And if you want a gold star for this assignment, it would be really cool to check in with yourself about what scares you about soft power. Is there a part of you that is worried that you can’t possibly get what you want through walking your journey with clarity, confidence, alignment, and influence?

Maybe up to this point, all you’ve known is. Force and exhaustion and working your fingers to the bone. Write it out because once you begin to understand that, you can begin to understand the way that you might be creating obstacles to the soft power. That’s your birthright mama. Soft power isn’t weakness.

It’s the ability to remain regulated when the road ahead seems uncertain. Sounds amazing, right? It is totally within your reach, and if you know you will love some of that in your life, go to www.frommaybetwobaby.com. My methodology has helped women around the world exercise this beautiful soft power that takes them from struggle and exhaustion into peace.

Confidence and calm that kicks the door wide open to the baby that they’ve been longing for. Go to www.frommaybetobaby.com. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of The Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.