Family Secrets

What’s it like to live your life so deep undercover, handling secrets that are so sensitive, not even the people who know you best—not your friends, not your siblings, not your parents—can know what you’re up to? Ex-CIA agent Amaryllis Fox spent the better part of her 20s trying to keep WMDs out of the hands of global terror groups—until she became a mother and realized she couldn’t ask her baby daughter to live inside a secret world. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join us for more incredible stories about what happens when long-held family secrets come to light. The new season of Family Secrets launches Thursday, April 1. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani continues her discussion with Dr. Yehuda about intergenerational trauma, and her fascinating new research into psychedelics as a potential treatment for patients suffering from PTSD. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special episode, Dani speaks with noted trauma expert Dr. Rachel Yehuda about the controversial history of PTSD as a diagnosis, the disorder’s surprising physiological effects, and why the children of PTSD sufferers often show the same biological markers, despite never having experienced trauma themselves. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special bonus episode, recorded as part of the Two Writers Talking virtual series, Dani and journalist Robert Kolker—author of the instant New York Times bestseller Hidden Valley Road—discuss the delicate work of writing about family secrets, whether they're your own or someone else's. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you for listening to season four of Family Secrets. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

David Ingber is a spiritual leader and father of three young kids, beloved by his large New York City Congregation. His wisdom and ability to comfort is sought after by thousands. In this episode, he learns that opening up and allowing himself to show his own vulnerability is part of his teaching and a great spiritual lesson. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Julia McKenzie Munemo’s late father made his living by churning out trashy novels—that was about as much as she was willing to admit. But she had no desire to crack open any of the dusty paperbacks she inherited, until a nationwide reckoning made it clear she had no choice but to confront the racist legacy her dad left behind. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

During her second year at an elite New England boarding school, Lacy Crawford was brutally assaulted by two senior boys. When the extent of the damage they’d done became clear, the school placed the blame squarely on her. Years later, Lacy would learn just how hard the institution worked to silence her. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For the first 40 years of her life, Jennifer Finney Boylan figured the price of living her truth would be much too steep; by opening up about who she really was, she assumed she’d lose everything, including the love of her life. But over time, it became clear that hiding who she really was had taken its own toll—on herself, on her family, and on her marriage. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Flynn was 7 years old when his house burned down. The official story, the one everyone laughed about, was that raccoons had knocked over the family’s Hibachi grill and set the house on fire. Decades later, Nick learned that’s not what happened at all—and started to understand the depth of his mother’s desperation. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Outwardly, Susan Burton had it all—a degree from Yale, a thriving career, a loving husband and kids. Inside, Susan waged a war on herself, using food as a way to exert control over the discomfort she felt in her own skin. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lindsay Roemer assumed she’d metabolized, and mostly moved on from, the secret that had been kept from her most of her life—until an unexpected Facebook message from a man she’d never met changed everything she thought she knew about her father. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The smart, opinionated, funny women who raised Saeed Jones—his mother and his grandmother—had a profound influence on his identity. But it was the things they couldn’t talk about that echoed the loudest with Saeed as he began to navigate adulthood, trying to figure out where he fit in as a gay Black man from the South. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Singer Kanene Pipkin always loved her mother, but they weren’t exactly close. Until one day her mother called with some news Kanene couldn’t wrap her head around—news that would change their relationship, and Kanene’s understanding of what it means to be a family, forever. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ruthie Lindsey attracted a massive following with her picture-perfect lifestyle shots on Instagram. But what those images didn’t show was everything that came before, including an accident that nearly killed her, a painkiller addiction that might have finished the job—and the unconditional love of a family determined to pull her out of the darkness. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ruthie Lindsey knows first-hand just how much pain might be hiding behind someone’s picture-perfect social media presence. Hear the rest of her story on the Season 4 premiere of Family Secrets, next Thursday, October 1. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get ready for more incredible stories about the secrets—both big and small—that shape us from the inside out. The new season of Family Secrets launches October 1. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani checks in with a quick update on season 4. (Mark your calendars for October 1!) Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani and Alicia continue their conversation about becoming the person you were always meant to be, and Alicia shares her strategy for moving forward when you find yourself at a crossroads—learn to feel out, and trust, the resounding yeses. (Alicia’s memoir, More Myself: A Journey, is out now.) Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this very special episode of Family Secrets, Dani speaks with singer-songwriter Alicia Keys about living unapologetically, making art without compromise, and the women who kept her grounded when she became a household name at just 20 years old—her mother and her grandmother. (Alicia’s memoir, More Myself: A Journey, is out now.) Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani calls up Doree and Kate, hosts of the hit podcast Forever35, for an in-depth conversation about self-care, shifting priorities, and why it’s so important to keep a record of what you’re doing, thinking, and feeling during this time. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani and Liz respond to questions from the audience about shame, the power of the unthought known, and the growing community of people who find out later in life they were donor-conceived. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this special live episode of Family Secrets, recorded in Los Angeles in January, Dani sits down with indie rock icon Liz Phair to talk about the stories we choose to tell ourselves—and how the act of writing can lead to a deeper, more nuanced understanding of both our pasts and the people we’ve become. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani and Gretchen respond to audience questions — including one from a former anonymous sperm donor, who wonders where his loyalties should lie after he’s asked not to tell one of his biological children the truth about her origins. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this special live episode of Family Secrets, recorded in Philadelphia in January, author and podcast host Gretchen Rubin interviews Dani about uncovering the family secret that became the subject of her bestselling memoir Inheritance: that her beloved father was not related to her by blood. Gretchen and Dani discuss the aftermath of that discovery — including what it was like to forge a connection with her biological dad — plus the ethics of anonymous sperm donation, and what the rise of DNA testing means for those guarantees of anonymity. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On part two of Dani’s conversation with Libby Copeland, Dani and Libby discuss the fallout on the other side of a major DNA revelation, and why DNA testing could make secrecy around a person’s origins a thing of the past. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this special bonus episode of Family Secrets, Dani speaks with Libby Copeland, author and journalist, about the psychological and emotional complexities that face families who have kept secrets, and families who have had secrets kept from them. This is an intimate conversation about the deepest parts of identity exposed by unexpected DNA results. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dani and Bessel respond to questions from the audience about trauma, and how art—and writing in particular—can help people heal. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In January, Dani hit the road for a series of live conversations with some of her favorite writers, artists, and thinkers. Her first stop: Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where she sat down with renowned trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, for a discussion about how we move forward after traumatic events—a topic nobody could have predicted would apply to each and every one of us just a few months later. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For years, Steven Romo just didn’t talk about the bleak landscape of his childhood—not with friends, and certainly not with his colleagues at the TV station where he works as an anchor. Until a headline that reminded him of his upbringing inspired him to open up about what he’s been through, giving everyone a glimpse at the pain he kept hidden beneath his polished, professional exterior. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special bonus episode, Dani speaks with Stephanie Wittels Wachs, actress, activist, and co-host of the hit podcast Last Day, which shines a light on the real human stories behind epidemics we usually only think about in terms of their staggering — yet seemingly abstract — statistics. Recording from their respective homes, Dani (sitting in her PJs in her son’s old room) and Stephanie (holed up in the closet that serves as her makeshift studio) discuss trauma, the collective grief we’re all feeling in this era of social distancing, and making meaning out of tragedy — which is exactly what Stephanie did after losing her beloved younger brother, the comedian Harris Wittels, to a heroin overdose. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Janny Scott grew up on an 800-acre British-style estate outside Philadelphia with a loving, gregarious father who was always the life of the party. But underneath her father’s light exterior was a darkness he struggled to keep at bay—a lifelong effort that would eventually cause him to self-destruct. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Axton Betz-Hamilton was in middle school, her family’s mail started going missing. Her parents told her that they’d been the victims of an identity thief, and that the perpetrator was likely someone close to them. Slowly, they began to shut out the world, enveloping Axton in a bubble of paranoia and secrecy—an atmosphere that didn’t allow her to see what was right in front of her until decades later. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Growing up, Adam Frankel idolized his father and his father’s father, eventually following in their footsteps to become a successful speechwriter for politicians like John Kerry and Barack Obama. But at the age of 25, Adam discovered a truth that caused him to question everything—including his place in the lineage he’d molded his life around. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For most of her young life, Lisa Brennan-Jobs bounced back and forth between two very different homes—that of her mother, who raised Lisa alone for the first few years of her life and struggled to make ends meet; and that of her father, Steve Jobs, who lived exactly the way you’d expect the founder of a multimillion dollar tech company to but struggled to relate to the daughter he initially denied was his. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Addiction breeds denial, in both the addict and his loved ones. And when that addiction comes wrapped in a busy, successful, ambitious package like Eilene Zimmerman’s ex-husband, a respected Silicon Valley attorney, it’s especially easy to ignore the warning signs. Until it’s too late. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Emily Bernard never felt close to her judgmental, domineering father, who, for most of her life, denied he’d ever been unfaithful to her mother. It wasn’t until her dad’s sudden death that Emily began the process of getting to know the woman who caused her family so much pain: her father’s longtime mistress. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when you suspect that your own brother is to blame for the seemingly random acts of violence sending shockwaves through the country? Do you keep it to yourself in order to protect him? Or do you turn him in, potentially saving the lives of hundreds of strangers, but putting him at risk of a death sentence? David Kacyznski talks about his impossible choice, and the unlikely friendship he forged in the wake of his brother’s destruction. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a child, Ariana Neumann stumbled upon a strange photo of her father, tucked away in a secret box he kept in his workshop. It was undeniably him, and yet the name in the caption didn’t belong to the man she grew up with. Decades later, Ariana inherits this box and the documents it contains, using them to slowly chip away at the mystery of who her father really was and the lies he had to tell in order to survive. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Even as a young child, Michael Hainey could sense that there was more to the story of his father’s death. But it wasn’t until he stumbled upon a small detail in an obituary—that his father died “after visiting friends”—that he began to understand the lengths those friends went to protect his father’s reputation, and to protect his family from the truth. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get ready for more inspiring, provocative, and moving conversations about identity, forgiveness, and the meaning of family, featuring incredible guests like David Kaczynski, the Unabomber’s younger brother, and Lisa Brennan-Jobs, Steve Jobs’s first-born. The new season of Family Secrets with Dani Shapiro launches next Thursday, February 6. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. This January, Dani’s taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets, visit danishapiro.com. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode we hear from listeners in the Family Secrets community. To share your secret, call 1-888-SECRET-0. This month, Dani’s taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets, visit danishapiro.com. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Big news, Family Secrets fans: there’s a new season headed your way in just a few weeks (the first episode drops February 6—mark your calendars!) ‘Til then, it seems as though there’s no end to the number of secrets Dani continues to encounter while she’s traveling around the country for her book. Dani shares what she’s learned from her conversations with her podcast guests, her readers, and Family Secrets listeners over the past year—and why she thinks the end of the era of the secret is upon us. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.