Stoic Principles

Auto-generated transcript:In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise belongs to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. And peace and blessings be upon the honor of the prophets and messengers. Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and upon his family and companions, peace and blessings be upon him, and upon many, many. Today I thought let me quickly share with you some thoughts and then request Sheikh Abdullah to speak to you. In that context, I want to talk to you about, there were a bunch, even now it's there, but there was a philosophy called Stoicism. So the people who followed that and believed in that and lived by it were called the Stoics. S-T-O-I-C. And it's something very worth studying and worth thinking about. This was roughly about 2000 years or something ago. That's when it seems to have started. And among the many, many very famous people in history who were Stoics, and one of the very famous ones was Marcus Aurelius, who was one of the Caesars of Rome. So a very famous Stoic philosopher. The thing about Stoicism, especially the reason I'm saying, I'm talking about Stoicism, because Stoicism is something which seems very close to Islam and to some of the principles of the Quran. So I'm not saying that the Stoics were Muslims, Allah knows best from whatever we have records of, I don't think they were Muslims. But irrespective of that, they had some very wonderful wisdom, which we can all learn from. So here are some, of those principles. First of all, first one he says is, safeguard your innermost anxieties and doubts. Safeguard your innermost anxieties and doubts. Voicing intimate struggles can undermine resilience. And resilience is the ability to recover from loss. The ability to struggle with, you know, especially emotional things and to come back. He says to make these things public. Now, just think about this in the context today of social media. Think about what people post on Facebook, for example, or what people post on, especially Facebook. Instagram is not that much of this stuff, but especially Facebook. People really sort of pour out their hearts on Facebook. The Stoics say that this is the most damaging thing to do. They say never, never do that. Your innermost thoughts and your innermost anxiety, your innermost anxieties and doubts, believe me, everybody has it. First and foremost thing I want to say to you guys is, you might think that, oh, you know, we are teenagers, we are in college, we are in high school or whatever, middle school, and we are all kinds of thoughts and, you know, feelings and counterfeelings and, you know, all sorts of things and anxieties and fears. So believe me, this is not, join the club. Literally join the club. Everybody has it. So, believe me, this is not, join the club. Literally join the club. Everybody has it. Everyone and his grandmother has it. The only thing which differs is the kind of doubts. Some people have some kinds of doubts. Others have other kinds of doubts, right? I am 70 years old at this age. I'm at the top of my profession in terms of business consulting. I don't consider my Islamic thing to be a profession, but alhamdulillah, I have an international standing there also. But every time I stand in front, I stand on the mimbar, I stand on the mimbar, I stand on the mimbar, every time I stand in front of people to talk to them, every time I lead two rak'at of salah, there is doubt in my heart. Not doubt about Allah, but doubt about, can I do this job properly or not? Will I make mistakes? Will I say something which might not be beneficial? Will I say something with the best intention, right? But it has a different effect on somebody else. Maybe it raises a doubt, right? Maybe it raises a doubt, right? Maybe it raises a doubt, right? But it starts to reach out in the mind of that person, or maybe it causes that person to think something contrary to what I am trying to help them understand. And you know, may Allah have mercy on me, then I will feel responsible because of me, this guy, he went away from here, but he came here, okay, he went away from here with a doubt. This is because of me. So, everybody has doubt. So, the Stoics say, don't publicize that. Now you might say, well, I won't publicize that. And what should I do? What shall I do? Just sit with that? Cook with that? No. You can and if you want, you should say it to somebody who is wiser, somebody who can handle that, somebody who can advise you in private. Right? So, I'm not saying you sit on the doubt and go into some depression or something. No. Talk about it, but not to everyone. Not publicly. Definitely not on social media. Absolutely without a doubt. And also not generally speaking. In some circle, I'm gathering, no. Specifically, maybe your parents, maybe a trusted teacher or somebody like that. Maybe even a friend, but somebody who is wiser. There's usually not much point in talking to somebody who is just like you, your age, your group. Not because anything wrong with them. But the fact is, you're not going to be able to do that. The fact is that effectively, they probably have the same level of experience as you have and that they might not be able to help you. But sometimes even there you find somebody who has some better worldview and wisdom, you can tell them. But usually, so talk to someone who is wise, who cares for you. Very important. That's another very important thing. You should talk to someone who cares for you. Not someone who will listen to that and take that and next thing you know, this is now, it's gone on BBC. BBC or something, the whole world knows. You know what this was happening to you, sir? I thought I told you this in confidence. It's very important. People, for them, this is a career. Like you want to tell someone something, you tell it to that person and it's gone. The whole world knows. Right? Sayyidina Omar ibn al-Khattab, when he accepted Islam, he wanted people to know. So there was one guy in Mecca who was known for this. So he, Sayyidina Omar called him. And he said to him, don't tell anybody, but I have accepted Islam. He, you know, he jerked his hand out of his hand. He ran and he shouted. Now Sayyidina Omar did that deliberately. He said, this is the best way of telling the whole world is tell this one guy and he will do the job for you. So be very careful who you talk to. So talk to somebody who will help you, but not the whole world. And definitely not. Don't publish. Don't criticize it. And very interesting thing. He said, this, the Stoics say, voicing intimate struggles can undermine resilience. Now think about that. If, if I'm going through some, you know, emotional issue. Now I want to beat that. I want to fight against that. I want to, you know, win over that. But if I tell everybody, it actually subverts that. It sabotages that effort. Right? So you're not helping people. You're not only not helping yourself. You're actually harming yourself. Second one. Uh, he says, they said, keep bodily functions and health conditions confidential. Preserve dignity by avoiding overexposure. There are people, especially may Allah have mercy, older people whose entire conversation is at this morning. Was I constipated or could I go to the toilet properly? Okay. You know, since it begins with that, I had a good motion. Excuse me. You had a good motion. Good. Keep it, keep it to yourself. I don't want to know, you know, whether you have a good motion or not. What, what color was it? You know, what, what consistency, you know, was it like toothpaste or was it like Coca-Cola? I mean, for gods, for gods, like why are you telling me all this? I don't know what, I don't want to know, but then I've been, especially old people, by God, I mean, you sit with an old person. Oh my, is there an entire, no, isn't it? I mean, there's a lot of people. I mean, there's an entire sort of health history they tell you, right? So don't do that. Don't tell anybody. If you have a physical problem, first and foremost, go to the doctor. Tell somebody where it's of use. Go to the doctor, tell the doctor, get your medicine and whatnot and go home. If it is that, then maybe, you know, you say it to your spouse or you say it to your parents or something. Other than that, keep your bodily functions and health. Keep your confidential and preserve your dignity. Third one, he says, very, very important, maintain secrecy around financial status. Maintain secrecy around financial status. Self-worth stems from within, not from material assets. You know, sometimes that's why I say, when you listen to these things, they are so close to Islam. Whereas in the world today we live, this is the opposite of that. You know what my net worth is? You know what this is? People in this country especially, you know what I paid for these shoes? I mean, what kind of... So-and-so is wearing a $50,000 watch. He gave his wife to... I mean, why are you telling him all this? I mean, who wants to know? But this is the culture, unfortunately, you know. Talk about money, money, money the whole time. They are saying maintain secrecy. Whatever your finances are, if you are rich, keep your mouth shut. If you are poor, keep your mouth shut. Don't tell anybody. None of their business, none of your business to tell them. He says privacy nurtures profound... No, self-worth stems from within. So your self-worth, again here, if you look at it, self-worth we seek from the outside. What do people say? People must say nice things about me. People must say nice things about me. If a teacher criticizes me, it's a major problem. Then you go to fight with the teacher. How did you criticize my child? Parents do that. The teacher criticizes your child because your child needed criticism. Your child needed to be told off. Your child needed to be told that, look, you said you would do something, you have not done it. You know. Oh, no, no, but I had this work, that work.