Parenting skills #6

Auto-generated transcript:In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, and the All-Merciful. May the Lord of the worlds be with you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. We look at the rules of Islamic parenting. I call them the six rules. We ask Allah to help us to understand the responsibility of parenting and to fulfill it. We are talking about life skills and as I mentioned to you, these are some life skills. One of the most important ones, encourage volunteering. It is very, very important. It is something which I tell you as Muslims, it is something we really must make an effort. You must see the number of committees, committees and number of volunteering work that is done. As I am saying, I live in America. I give an example. One of my friends is a Rabbi. He runs an organization called the Jewish Family Services in West Springfield. They bring in refugees from other countries and they settle them in the US. Guess which religious group is their largest customers? Muslims, right? And they do it all for free. They get funding from the government, they do it for free. Anyway, so his name is James. So I asked James one day, I said, you know, he was talking about his family. So he said, we have two daughters and we have two foster sons. So I said, you are doing fostering? He said, yes. He said, my wife and I were registered as foster sons. So people, orphans and people like that, refugee children, they govern, they send them to us. They live with us as our children in our home. He says, we have two foster children and both of them are boys and both of them are, they have problems. So one has a drug problem, the other one has a stealing problem. Tertuvian. Tertuvian. Tertuvian. Now I am thinking to myself, what is wrong with this guy? Why on earth would you become a foster parent? And on top of that, you take some druggy kid or something to look after. Why? You are mad or something, you are insane? He is not insane. He is a very sensible human being. He is concerned. Then he tells me, one day, and this whole conversation started because he had a pager in his pocket. We were going for a walk. He had a pager beeped. So he looked at it and said, no, it's not my car. So I asked him, what is this? And that's how the whole conversation started. So he tells me this. He said, then one day, this kid who was, I mean, this kid means that he is about maybe 17 or 16 or 17, about under 18. So he is still a foster parent. So this kid, he said, he broke into our safe. Right? He stole some money and he stole some stuff which is in the safe. So he said, we had to call the police. We called the police. And he says, to my surprise, when the police and the first responders, they came, he said, they were all my neighbors. So then I realized that in our town, the fire service and the police service is volunteers, which is our own people who live in the town. They volunteer so many hours a week for the police force. So then they put on a police uniform. They are trained. They are certified as police officers. They put on police uniform. And then they are driving cruise, cruising cruise cars. And then doing police work. Or they are driving, they are on ambulances. Or they are on fire engines. Right? He said, that is when I decided to do that also. So this guy is a rabbi. He has his whole synagogue to run. He has Jewish family services to run. Plus now he volunteers to be on the first responders team. So he is done. He is riding on an ambulance. He got trained. He did a whole course for a year and a half. He passed this whole course and so on. He is doing this work, all of it for nothing. Volunteering. No salary. No monetary compensation. Now imagine the goodwill that gets you. That's my point. Somebody's house is burning down. Some disaster is happening. Who lands up there? This guy. Imagine the goodwill he gets. Right? So people associate help with this person. But believe me, you have to hunt high and low to find a Muslim who can go there. Almost zero. I am saying almost. So maybe there is somebody. I don't know. But at least I don't even know it. He won't volunteer. He will not volunteer. He will not get out of our comfort zones. He will not even volunteer for Muslim children. Refugee children come who are orphans and they go into foster homes with other people of other religions. Now having said that, I have never seen a kid who is a Muslim. I have never seen a case where those people have converted that Muslim kid. They are not. They make it a point. They bring them to the masjid. I get called. They say, Chef, we have Imam Beg. They say, Imam Beg. I say, we have got only four Imams. So you see, but in America everybody is Imam. So you see, Imam Beg can we bring so and so. Yes, sure. Please bring. Who is this? He says, no, no. He is not a revert. He is a foster child with us. So you bring them. They bring them for the job. They bring them for the job. They bring them for the job. They bring them for the job. They bring them for the job. They bring them for the job. So you bring them. They bring them for the Juma. He is there for a whole hour. That foster mother or father is sitting in the car. He says, please come inside. You come. Most welcome. Will you? No, no. We are okay. We will sit. They bring them for the Salah. They take them back. I mean, quite amazing, frankly if you ask me. But I am saying, why are Muslims not doing that? Why don't we do these things? Please, teach children this and set an example. All of these things, they are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. They are not doing. Please, teach children this and set an example. All of these things, an example. That's why I say children listen with their eyes. They listen with their eyes. They don't care what we say until they see what we do. Teach children the difference between value and cost. Value is something which is more than what you pay for it. And cost is something where you paid more than what you got. So that's why they say value people and use things. Not use people and value things. That's why I say cost, accumulate value, not cost. Possessions add cost, not value. Teach them also the value of money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. For example, if you want to earn some money, you want to earn some money. I'll give you a phone. Not now. Earn it. What is the cost of the phone? So much. So I will pay you. How long will you need? Pay them a good salary but give them a job. Complete this job. When you have the money, come, I'll give you. You're not going to get it just like that. I want it. You may want it. Just saying phone because that's the usual thing but everything other than necessities. So school fees and the clothing all this is fine. You can give it. But any luxuries, anything they want, I want this, I want that, no. This is all it costs. You're going to work for it. That will show them the value of work. That will show them the worth of something. The father is not an ATM machine and the mother is not the card. Right? And very important, teach charity. Teach them to invest in their Aakhar. Charity is not money out of the pocket. Charity is money into my Aakhar. At the end of the day, it's my, from this pocket to this pocket, right? From duniya to Aakhar. You're not giving it to anybody. It's for yourself. Number five, communication. Lot of stuff to learn in communication but very important. Number one, begins with not with talking but with listening. Active listening, consciously sharing your understanding with the other person. That's called active listening. Taking notes, then how to have conversations, conversation skills, public speaking, presentation, presentation skills, conflict resolution. Very important how to get along with people. How to disagree without being disagreeable. How not to be rude. How to be interesting. How can you be interesting? By learning, by studying. If you want to have an interesting conversation, you must know something, right? For instance, if you want to have a conversation between you and somebody a conversation between you and by studying, by reading. Getting along with people, John Rockefeller, he said a wonderful thing. He said, I will pay more for the ability to get along with people than I will pay for any other ability under the sun. He said, I will pay more for the ability to get along with people than I will pay for any other ability under the sun. I see, you won't believe it, I have a number of people I have seen who are not geniuses, who are not exceptional people. Nice people, but average. They get so high up in careers. They do so well in their jobs. They do so well in society. They are so influential. Only because they have a smile, they are polite, they are helpful, they thank people. They are just nice people. And they are easy to get along with. They get a lot of bandwidth. They get a lot of, their footprint is big. And on the other hand, I have also seen the opposite. I have seen people who are highly competent. Very, very competent. But, sharp tongue. For some reason,