Parenting skills #4

Auto-generated transcript:In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, and the All-Merciful, and the All-Merciful. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon you, O Shafi'i al-Mursaleen, Muhammad Rasool Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and upon all of you. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon you, too. We look at the rules of Islamic parenting, and I call them the six rules. We ask Allah to help us to understand the responsibility of parenting and to fulfill it. So, we're talking about life skills, and as I mentioned to you, these are some life skills. One of the most important ones, number three, is the daily account, the mahasibah, and the learning journal. Learning journal is an interesting… tool that I teach people, which is, what you do is, take again your notebook. You do it in this sequence. First of all, what you do is, in the notebook, you write down three goals for tomorrow. Every night, you write down three goals for tomorrow in order of priority. And the priority has to be in keeping with your life goal. You are achieving these three… You're working on these three goals to achieve the overall goal, your life goal. So, first, you have to begin with writing down the life goal, and then going from there, writing every day three goals in order of priority, which will help you to achieve your life goal. Then, you… The following day, your day unfolds or unravels, whichever way you want to get it. So, you write down your three goals. And then, at the end of the day, you sit down, you open the book, and the book are the three goals you had written for the day. Now, you analyze these three goals and say, did I achieve it, did I not achieve it, what helped me to achieve, what hindered my achievement, and what am I learning lessons from that. Therefore, what did I learn with regard to achieving the goals? So, that you write down in a… In a… In a… You look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those and look at those happen, what are my learnings? Three columns. That is called the learning journal. This is very important and I strongly recommend that you start writing this. It's not a diary. It's not like every day in the morning I woke up at 8 o'clock I had breakfast, I ate this thing for breakfast and I don't know. This is only focusing on your learning. What are my learnings? This is what I experienced. This is my reflection on my experience and this is what I take away from it. Believe me, you start writing this, you will learn a hell of a lot. Because all of us go through life, we have experience after experience after experience but we all don't benefit the same from those experiences. Some benefit more, some benefit less. That has to do with the quality of the learning. And the quality of the learning to improve it, this is the way. It's to write a learning journal. I spoke to you already about friends, so I won't repeat that. This is a very nice quote. It's not one of mine, somebody has said it, but beautiful. It says that we must all suffer from one of two things. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. We must all suffer from one of two things. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. And the truth of it is that excuses don't change reality. So if you did not do something which you are supposed to do or you did something which you are not supposed to do and you make an excuse, it does not change the fact that you did something wrong. Right? If I lose something, for example, one of the amazing things that we give up, the biggest asset that we have, the only non-creatable, non-replaceable asset, which is called what? Time. We give it up for nothing. We give it up for nothing and the people who take it from us are making humongous amounts of money because we are giving up our life. Right? They have access to your most private parts of your life and you can't sue them because you gave them that access. If they got that, if they had got that access without your permission, you could have actually sued them for invasion of privacy. But you cannot sue them because you are putting it out there. Who is posting on Instagram? You or Zuckerberg? Who is posting on Facebook? You or Zuckerberg? I went here, I did this, I did that, I did this, so and so said this. Who is doing all this? You or them? Somebody else. And people are making money out of that. Because that is how at the most benign level, believe me, there are levels and levels of money. And not all the levels are benign. These are very dangerous things. But at the most benign level, they are getting your likes, they are getting your things that you like to do and so on and then they send you targeted ads and the ad companies are paying and the manufacturers, the producers, content creators, they are paying them for giving them that access and giving them that guidance to targeted advertising. They are making enormous amounts of money. Because of you. Because you watch them. How do the so-called influencers, how do they function? Why are people paying them millions of dollars every year for simply living their lives? So and so wears this shoe. They get the shoe for free plus they get a couple of million bucks. They go and eat in that restaurant. Why? Because of you. Because of you. You stop watching them, they are stuck. Bums. Plummets. They have value because you give it to them for free and that is your life. Irreplaceable. I always give this example. It is not going to happen to any of us, believe me. But just to understand. See, it is my time when I am dying. Right? I am dying. Last breaths. And Malakul Moth comes to me and says to me that I am willing to give you as much time as you spent on. Now in this blank, you can put in whatever you do. Watching basketball, watching football, watching cricket, this World Cup, that World Cup, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. You can name whatever you like. Fill the blank. So Malakul Moth is saying to you, I will give you this whole time you spent on it. I will give it to you. How much will you pay me? What will you give? Tell me, what will you be willing to pay? How much? Everything, right? Everything. Because you are going to lose it anyway. What does it matter? Take everything. Take everything. Take also everything from my whole family. Take everything from all the people in the market. Who cares? Right? But that won't happen, right? That won't happen. And what's the value of that? Value of that is that you would have had a chance to make a step forward. You read Tawbah, you read Quran, you read Salah, and so on and so on and so on. And Inshallah, die in that state of obedience to Allah. But that won't happen. But the tragedy is that today, we have that time for free. Nobody is asking us for anything. At this time, we are giving away. Again, research data shows us that on an average, we are giving away. We are giving away. We are giving away. We are giving away. We are giving away. We are giving away. We are giving away. You are giving away. You are giving away. For which you are paid a salary. Right? So who's paying you? Giving it away, free. That's why I said get out. Unsubscribe, uninstall, do whatever run you want to do, get out. That's the only solution. Don't say no I'll have it there, I won't look at it. That's the whole thing about addiction. Addiction is where the addict does not recognize the fact that he is addicted. Same thing whether it's alcoholism, whether it's cigarettes, whether it's drugs, whatever it is, addiction is where you are a prisoner. And there's only one way to free yourself, to break out of the prison. There's only one way. You cannot say no I'll be in the prison but I'll be free. No, no, no. One of two things. You're either in the prison or you're out of the prison. One of the two. You can't be in the prison and be free. No. Get out. Seriously get out. And then you will see how much time you have. It will be difficult like any addiction. When you get out, you will feel uncomfortable and so on, so on. Four more. Fear of missing out, this, that. Just forget it. That's why I said remove the whole thing. Once you remove it, you can't go back. It's not easy, you know, again to go, resubscribe and whatnot. But if you have it there on the phone then. And this, believe me, this will not affect you one bit. Neither your business nor anything. People can talk, they can call you, they can talk to you, they can send you emails, they can write you letters. There are many ways of communicating, all of which are much better than this stuff which we do. Okay. The best way of communicating is through our face-to-face. That's how you make friends. You do that, do all those things. Part of these life skills is to teach your children to own their job. One of the greatest mistakes and a lot of horses and horses people do all kinds of completely stupid things. You know, in those amazing places, in those amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places, amazing places,