Parenting skills #2 – Connect to Allahﷻ

Auto-generated transcript:In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And peace and blessings be upon the honour of the Prophet and the messengers. And peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and upon his family and his companions. After that, my brothers and sisters, we talked about the overall background, the reason why parenting, conscious and thoughtful parenting is absolutely critical. Parenting is not something that will happen by default, it's not something that will happen because you want it. It is something you have to work on. And it starts with having a dream for your child, which is a shared dream. So it has to be a three-way conversation, the father, the mother and the child together. So the first one, connect to Allah . The training of connecting to Allah begins with tahajjud. Make tahajjud fardh on yourself. Right? If you want to raise good children, make tahajjud fardh on yourself. Don't let a single day pass starting from tonight. That you have not prayed at least two rakats of time. No matter what, whether you are well, you are sick or whatever, you are travelling, not travelling, doesn't matter. I'm not talking fiqh, I'm talking here the hope of Allah . Make tahajjud fardh on yourself. This is what will give your children, that's the connection. I mentioned this story many times before. And I'm mentioning it now again because I see a lot of new faces. You might not have heard this story from me. My earliest memory of my father, Anandul Ali. These were the days before plastics. There were no plastics. Chairs were made of wood. Glasses were made of glass, not of plastic. And so on. So we lived in, where we lived in India. In a big house. But this was the day, this was the days before. I'm talking about the late 50s. So it's the days before hot and cold running water. There were no geysers and so forth. Water used to be heated outside. Then brought inside. But tahajjud time there is no one to heat the water and bring it. So cold water. Every day around 2.30 or something, I would hear the sound of the metal bucket in the bathroom. You had bucket of GI, galvanized iron. It had a handle. So my father would put it on the floor, would tank. Then he would drop the handle, it would blank. So that was my father getting ready to make wudu. Then he would make wudu. Then he would pray tahajjud. And we could hear him. When he was, he would pray in the other room. Where we were sleeping. The main room. But he would, we could hear his recitation. And when he finished and his duas. Yeah. To this day I live by those duas. And then he would finish that. Then he would sit and read Quran. So he would hear him reciting Quran. Then at the time of salatul fajr, when the time comes to fajr, he would come inside. Turn on the lights and say, salatul khairu minna naum. And he would pull out blankets off. You're a little kid, you hated that. But that's how we, there's no option. There's no option of not getting up for salatul fajr. Whether you are five years old or you are eight years old or you are ten years old, makes no difference. You get up for salatul fajr and you play salatul fajr by jama'at. We lived very far from masjid. So my father would do the imamat. I would call the adhan. And the children would pray. Behind that, my mother and our sisters. No option. There's no question of, oh, chota bachcha hai sora. No, no, no, no. No chota bachcha. You are going to wake up for salatul fajr and you will pray by jama'at khalas. It's not a matter open for any discussion. This is how you raise children. You want someone. You want your child to cry in the night. Cry in the night for you when you are in your grave. Raise them like this. Teach them to take from the treasure of the parna. And another, give them memories. Give your children memories. When they think about things, good things, let them think of you. Another one of these. My father again. My brother and I, you know, we travel a lot and so on. Sometimes you have some problems, some issue. So, you would phone him. And tell him, papa, this thing matters here. This thing we have to do. Some issue we need. He would say, theek hai. Mai pakad leta unku. Diyen hai tak chhoda nahi. Huh? You say, okay. I will hold on to him. I will not leave him until he gives you. Who is this? Who will you hold on? Huh? You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. You call me. to give medicines to people. He would treat them. He would not take the fees. Then he would also give the money to buy medicines. So, I told him, how is this? What kind of? It's supposed to be a business. All your colleagues and all your contemporaries, they've got big nursing homes and they're making money and so on. And you know, alhamdulillah, his diagnosis, Allah had given him so much. I've never seen clinical diagnosis like my father's. First of all, in those days, they didn't have all this imaging equipment and all this stuff. The most advanced thing was an x-ray machine. Beyond that, they had nothing. So, they had to look at the person. His clinical diagnosis was absolutely phenomenal. Never mistaken that. Very, very accurate. But never made money. Prior practice always failed. So, I asked him, he told me, tell me, how do you expect me to take money from this woman? I actually saw, I sat in his office and I saw this whole transaction happening. When this woman came and she told him her problem, she diagnosed it, he wrote some medicine and then he takes money out of his pocket, gives it to her. He goes to that shop, goes and buys it, here's the money. Takes no fees. So, I told him, how will you practice? He said, tell me, this woman, I know where she comes from. I know what kind of income she has. She needs the medicines. The medicine costs so much, she does not have the money. I know she doesn't have money. What is the point in me writing a prescription and giving her when she can't buy the medicine? That piece of paper, she won't eat. What will she do? What's that paper worth? It's worth nothing. So, if I'm interested in her getting cured, I should make sure. So, I said, Alhamdulillah, I have no quarrel with this. I will give you. Allah will give you. He taught us. He said, never ask anyone. Ask only Allah. And this is the hadith of Abdullah bin Abbas and his son. Famous hadith. He taught him this thing. He said, ask, if you ask, ask only Allah. He said, if you need help, ask help only from Allah. Nobody else. My father taught us this. He said, ask only Allah. He never asked anybody. Even when he was in difficult times, never asked. Ask Allah. So, why should I ask? If I have to ask, I will ask Allah. Why should I ask? If I have to ask, I will ask. If I have to ask, If I have to ask, I will ask. I will ask. If I have to ask, If I have to ask, I will ask. If I have to ask, I will ask. If I have to ask, If I have to ask, If I have to ask, If I have to ask, If I have to ask, It is to clean the heart. Clean the heart of all impurities. And Tarbhita Lakha is the practice of that in your life. And the way to teach that is by example. Give the children memories. Allah SWT taught us how to teach. How to teach. Allah SWT said, Allah SWT said, Which means, Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of the day and the night, there are signs for people of intelligence. And then Allah described who are the who are these people of intelligence or understanding. Two things. People who remember Allah SWT standing, sitting and lying down. And remembering Allah is not just, as I said, it's not just saying, SubhanAllah SubhanAllah. No. Conscious awareness of Allah SWT's presence in our life. Conscious awareness that Allah SWT who was Sami ul-Baseer. He is the one who listens. He is the one who sees. Who Alim-um Bizaati Sudur. He is the one who knows what's in the heart. Conscious awareness. I mean, we have that. What is the first thing it does? It does. There are two. Major benefits of having this conscious awareness. The first one is, it is a shield. It is a protection. It is armor against Shaitan. And against all sins. Because how can you commit a sin when you are consciously aware my Rabb is watching me. How can I open a haram site to watch haram when I know my Rabb is watching me? Huh? How can I lie? How can I cheat? How can I do anything wrong when I know that my Rabb is watching me? And if by mistake I do something, immediately I become conscious. SubhanAllah, I did this. Allah was watching. Immediately I make a step. Farad Thawm. First benefit. Second benefit is complete freedom from stress. Complete freedom from fear of anything other than Allah. Because my Rabb is with me. And He is with you wherever you are. He is with you wherever you are. He is with you wherever you are. So if my Rabb is with me, who should I be afraid of? Why should I fear anything? Allah is with me. So, Allah talks about this creating this sense of awareness of Allah's presence in our lives which makes us mutakeen and makes us aware and which gives us confidence and power. Say, my Rabb is with me. Alhamdulillah. I am not alone. I am never alone. I am never alone. Because He said, I am not saying it. He said, I did not say, He said, I didn't say, you are with me. He said, I am with you. Right? I am with you. Wherever you are. I am with you. Don't worry about it. I am with you. How does it make you feel? How should it make us feel? . . . But the condition is, I have to be a mutakeen. Allah is not mal-faasikin. He is not a mahal faasikin. Allah is not mal-faasikin. He is mahal-mumineen. . And then Allah said, . Remember, Allah swt used the preposition, . Allah did not say, . Allah did not say, people with these qualities or these qualities. No. These qualities and these qualities. And which comes first? .