How to live in tough times – 2

Auto-generated transcript: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And peace and blessings be upon the honor of the Prophet and the Messengers. Muhammad and the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and upon his companions, peace and blessings be upon them. And after that, my brothers and sisters, we are talking about the ways to beat stress and how not to fall into the trap of stress and depression and so on in this world because we are looking at very unprecedented times. I don't think any of us in our lifetimes have seen or been this close to global, possible global catastrophes. We ask Allahﷻ to save us from that. We ask Allahﷻ to save those who are caught up in these negative cycles and get them out of those cycles, inshallah. So yesterday I spoke to you about the hadith of Abdullah ibn Abbasرضي الله عنه and what Rasoolullahﷺ taught him with respect to our rizq and what has been written for us. Today, I want to talk to you about something else which Nabi S.A.W. said and that is, and that's the stress combat tool which is the stress combat tool. Stop saying what if? What if? What if I fail? What if everything goes wrong? What if there is a nuclear war? What if this? What if that? What if the whole of the Middle East is up in flames? What if oil supply stops? What if natural gas stops? And so on and so on. What if? Stop saying that because shaitan thrives on hypothetical fear. He keeps your heart stuck in possibilities that may never happen. So what must you do? Replace this what if with Qadarallahu ma sha'a fa'al Qadarallahu ma sha'a fa'al Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, he does. Qadarallahu means Allah has decreed and whatever he likes, Allah will do. Rasoolullahﷺ said in a hadith in Muslim Sharif, he said this word if opens the door to shaitan. So don't say if. If this, if that. Don't say that. I remember one person I had met many, many years ago who his son was 20 something and he died in a motorcycle accident. So when I met him, I condoled with him and you know I said may Allah Ta'ala grant him Jannah and so on. He was not concerned about any of that. He said if only he had not gone to this place. If only he had not left at this time. Now this so I tried to explain to him. I said there is no point in saying that. The point is his death, the time of his death, the way of his death has already been written by Allahﷻ. There is nothing that you could have done to stop that. There is something I could have done. Something I should have done. And as far as I know, that is how he ended his life. To the end of his days, he just went on like this. If this, if that. Now this is a terrible thing. It's like a curse if we get into this. Never say if. Whatever happened, happened because Allahﷻ decreed. Nothing else could have happened. And Alhamdulillah because Allahﷻ is Rahmanul Rahim fi dunya wal akhirah. Whatever happened, no matter how bad it may seem to be for us, was the best thing that could have happened in that case. This is our Yaqeen. Today is Friday, Juma'ah. And on Juma'ah, it is mustahab to read Surah Al-Kahf. And we have the story in Surah Al-Kahf of Musa A.S. and Qidr A.S. and the three things that Qidr A.S. did. All those three things, making a hole in the boat, killing that boy, and building up the wall which was falling even though the villagers did not pay them. All these things appear to be negative if you just look at them straight away. Why would you make a hole in the boat? People just helped you across the river and you are damaging their boat. Why will you kill a small child? What sense does it make? But we know that there is a hidden purpose that Allahﷻ has. And that purpose is for the benefit of the people, even though we don't see that benefit because of our restricted perspective. So never say if. Whatever had to happen, no matter what it was, no matter how bad it might seem to be, whatever had to happen was the best thing, was the only thing which could have happened and was the best thing that could have happened because it was decreed by Allahﷻ. Because this thinking of if is the main reason for all worry and then all that follows it. Because with the anxiety you have other problems that happen with depression and this and that. The more intense, paradoxically, the more intelligent a person is, the more they seem to fall prey to this. Because they are intelligent, they can imagine, they imagine all kinds of possibilities. What if this, what if that, what if that, and go on and on and on. For example, one of the most common things we hear, especially in car accidents, he should not have been driving that car. That car is not so safe. He should have been driving some other car which has more, more safety features. I always think to myself and sometimes tell these people, Princess Diana died in a sitting in the back seat of an armored Mercedes, not even a normal Mercedes. She died sitting in the back seat of an armored Mercedes. And the person who was sitting in the front, the bodyguard, he survived. Diana and her, the back companion who was sitting in the back seat, they both died in an armored Mercedes. Now you can't get safer than that. So what happened? It's not a question of, I mean, nobody says don't drive a safe car. You want to drive a safe car, drive a safe car. Don't think that this safe car will save me from death. Nothing like that. When the time for death comes, you go. إِذَا جَاءَ أَجَلُهُ لَا يَسْتَخِرُونَ سَاعَةً وَلَا يَسْتَغْدِمُونَ When the time to go comes, it cannot be delayed and it cannot be brought forward. Even by a second. Imagining all kinds of hypothetical possibilities and agonizing over that, all of this, not only is this useless and it serves no purpose because we have no control over any of that. We cannot make those things happen. But it is harmful. Because it increases the feeling of helplessness and ineffectiveness. At the end of all that, you feel useless, you feel helpless, you feel I can't do anything. What's the point of that? Makes no sense. And that leads to depression. So there's no point in putting yourself into that loop. Now if you do this beyond a point, you totally get bogged down in it, like in a quicksand, and it sucks you in. May Allah have mercy. So remember and remind yourself that all the things that you do, all your hypothetical scenarios are fantasy. They are unreal and impossible. Only what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wanted could happen and did happen and that is the best that could have happened because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows and we don't know. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentioned this very specifically. Allah said, Fighting has been made obligatory upon you, believers, though you dislike it. Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and you like something which is bad for you and Allah knows and you do not know. Interestingly, everything that has long-term benefit seems to be too tough and too painful and too difficult. Right? Whether it is reading, whether it is exercising, whether it is investing, whether it is upgrading your skills, whatever. It all seems to be painful and it takes too long and you don't see results and you know all of this stuff. But when you persist, you don't worry about all this. You just go and you do what needs to be done. The success that results overrides all the pain and suffering that you had to endure to achieve it. And that's why the dua, Allahumma ikhtar li wala taqtar alaiya Allahumma ikhtar li wala taqtar alaiya You choose for me and do not let me choose against myself. Now, see this beautiful dua that the Prophet taught us. Allahumma ikhtar li wala taqtar alaiya wala you choose for me and do not allow me to choose against myself. Because when I choose something, I may choose the wrong thing. So it is my choice but I end up putting myself in a problem. Allah don't let me. Similarly, the dua that Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam used to make, which we should all learn, he used to say, Allahumma rahmataka arju falaa takilni ila nafsi tarfata'een aslih li sha'ni kullah la ilaha illanth He used to say, O Allah, I beg for your mercy. I hope for your mercy. So do not entrust me to my own self even for the blink of an eye. Don't leave me to myself. Don't leave me to choose for myself even for the blink of an eye. tarfata'een And correct for me all my affairs. aslih li sha'ni kullah All my whatever, all my affairs in this duniya wal akhirah my domestic affairs, my business affairs, ya Allah, I am handing them, all to you. Please correct them. Make them saheed. There is no one worthy of worship except you. So beautiful this dua is. We must all memorize this dua, inshaAllah. Therefore, the best thing is to remind ourselves that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows and does what is best for us. As I mentioned this before also, as in an operation, the procedure is painful but it saves your life. And that's why you not only agree to undergo the operation but you pay the surgeon and you sign an indemnity declaration and you allow him to chop you up and you do all that because you know that he is the expert. You trust him to do what is in your best interest and you know that he has the ability to do that, to do that for you. What is best. So you trust him, even though you don't understand what he is doing. You don't understand what he is going to do but you trust him to do that. So apply the same logic when we suffer loss. That is the secret of ridha bil khadar, to be pleased with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's destiny. Being pleased with what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decided for us because we know that he wants the best for us. Yeah? We know he wants the best for us. So we are pleased with whatever he decided was the best. That's the reason why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala promised to test us. We ask Allah to save us from his tests. We don't ask for the test.