Happiness is a choice

Auto-generated transcript:Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen. Wa salatu wa salamu ala ashrafi al-anbiya wal-mursaleen. Muhammadun Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi sallam. Tasliman kathiran kathiran. Amma baadu, my brothers and sisters. I was talking to a friend of mine, and we were talking about the different kinds of things that are happening in the world, almost all over the world, and everyone seems to be in some kind of problem or the other. For someone it's financial, for somebody else it is political, for somebody it's health, it's old age, it's, you know, all kinds of stuff. And the conversation was kind of going towards, you know, a lot of negativity. And I was, then I remember I said, I said to them that I was really repeating something which I read many years ago and which I try to hold on to because of how beautifully it's done. And the story was about this lady who, an old lady, this Uber guy gets a call. And when he goes to pick up, there's this very elderly woman. And she just comes to the door. She says, will you, can you help me with a bag? So he comes, he goes up there. There's one single bag. And as he picks up the bag, he sees that it's a small little house. And he sees that it looks like she is vacating the house. The house seems to be, you know, completely empty. And so he takes the bag. Takes her, helps her down the stairs. And then they are going to the car. And this woman seems to be very happy. Absolutely, you know, top of the world. So he puts the bag in the car. And then she gets into the car. And he says, he has the address. So he knows that he's taking her to a sanitarium, an elderly care facility. So he asks her, you know, just, you know, a conversation. He says, you're going to this facility. And, you know, who is there? Anyone in your family? She says, no, I have nobody. I'm alone in the world. And I got to a stage where I can't really stay alone by myself. So I need to go. I need to take this. I need to go to this facility. Now, this Uber driver, he doesn't know me. Should he sympathize with her? What should he say? So he says, spontaneously, he says, you know, that's terrible. I mean, there's no one here. Even to go to this facility, you have to go on your own. She says, well, you know, I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. You know, you are there. I mean, I'm so happy that you're there. And thank you very much for being there. So the man says, of course, absolutely. I am honored. I'm very happy to be with you. And so he said, how are you able to maintain this kind of equanimity, this kind of, you know, there's no anxiety. You're not upset. Nothing, you know, you seem to be so happy. And really, I mean, what is there to be so happy about? So she said something which is fantastic and which has, Anandila stayed with me. And I'm sharing that with you because I think it is such a beautiful thing. She says to him, every morning when I get up, I'm at an age where I get up, I have aches and pains. And every day I wake up, I think I have a new one. And so on and so forth. But she said, every morning when I get up, I realize that I have a choice. And my choice is, that I can either think about this new pain I have. And I can think about the fact that I can't remember things too well. I can think about the fact that sometimes because when I need to go to the bathroom, the need is so urgent that sometimes there is an accident. I can think about all kinds of things. Or I can look out of the window and I see this absolutely beautiful, glorious sunrise. I see this absolute glorious, you know, sunny morning. I see it's now winter, so I see snow everywhere. It's beautifully white. And then there is a cardinal sitting on a rock. It looks like a ruby which is on a bed of white silk cotton. I can listen to the thrilling, beautiful sound and song of the skylark. I can think about the fact. I can think about the fact that while it is true that I am old and I have these aches and pains and stuff, but alhamdulillah I am able to walk. I am able to move around. I am not in a wheelchair. I can think about the fact that I am able to more or less eat whatever I like to eat. I don't have any crippling diet restrictions. I can't even go to the doctor. I can't even go to the doctor. And so on and so on. So meaning that she says that I have a choice to think about many, many things. And she said that I thought to myself that all of those things are true. While it is true that I have aches and pains and the rest of the list that I mentioned to you, it's all true. It's also equally true that there are so many positives. Right? That I am not in a wheelchair. That I am able to move around and so on and so forth. And a whole lot of them. It's not just these things. There are more and many more. So she says, I therefore have in my life all these choices. Now, my thing is, which of these choices do I want to focus on? Right? Which of these choices do I want to focus on? Because that is what will determine whether I will be happy today or not. So she says, my happiness does not, depend on all the different things that are going on in my life. It depends on what I choose to focus on. And so she said, I decided many years ago that no matter what happens, I am going to look for and focus on the positive things in my life. Not the negative ones. The positive ones. And that's it. She said, I decided that I am going to focus on the positive things in my life. And she says, that's what I do. So now I am, as I told you, I have no one. I'm alone. Anyway, I'm going to this elderly care, facility. I have no close relative to take me there. I know that this is my last home, that I will not leave this and go anywhere from here. It is. The next step is, to the cemetery. He, she said, but at the same time, I also know that I have the money to pay for this facility. I'm not leaving this house to go to a park bench. So I have the money to be able to leave this facility and go to, I will leave my, this house and go to a facility where, I will be taken care of. And I have the money to pay for it. I know that no near and dear one came to pick me up, but she said, Allah sent you. And as far as I'm concerned, you know, you are my near and dear one today. I know for a fact that, you know, even though others are not there, you are there. And then I also know for a fact that I'm walking to the facility. I'm not being carried on a stretcher. I know for a fact that, um, I have made arrangements for my, uh, for what happens. When I die and all of that is taken care of. So none of that, I have no anxiety about that. And Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the capacity to be able to enjoy what there is left of my life. So she said that now I have this, this choice. I have this choice. What do I do? So do I focus on all these positive things or do I insist on focusing on the negatives? All of which are also true. She says, I'm not denying it. I'm not in some kind of denial to say, Oh, you know, everything is positive and I must, uh, that I will not think about. No, the positive is true and the negative is also true. Um, both are equally true. So, um, the question is, what do I want to focus on? Now, the reason I'm saying, I'm sharing this with you. All of you. Because this is a choice that every single one of us has. The choice to be, to choose to be happy or not happy. That's our choice. Do you choose to be happy or not? Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. If you choose to be happy, alhamdulillah, Allah Ta'ala, nobody can make you unhappy because you decided that you are going to be happy. But equally, if you choose to be miserable, then nobody can save you from being miserable. So, I want to end with this piece of, another bit of something I read long ago about an experiment they did in the University of California with people who are chronically, chronic patients in chronic depression. So, and they were obviously, these were people on heavy medication. Now, the experiment they did was that one control group, they took them off the medication. So, you had a regular group of people who were on medication and they took one control group off medication, completely. But what they did was, they gave them a, what they called a gratitude diary. Now, interestingly, in this gratitude diary, very simple instruction, they said, in this diary, write down every day when you get up in the morning, write down 10 things that you need to thank Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for. 10 things that you need to thank Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for. And thank Him. Right? 10 things you need to thank Allah for and thank Allah. Every day. Write them. Write them in this gratitude diary. 10 things that I need to be grateful to God for. And thank Allah. And make a note of those things. So, those 10 things you're going to write down. I need to thank Allah for this, this, this, whatever. That's it. Now, after three months when they, when they looked at the results, and obviously they were monitoring the results to see how they were doing. And they found that these, this group which was off medication, and was but who are being consciously grateful. That's the whole thing. The thing is not whether you have anything or not. It's not a question of, you know, I have this, I have that. No, it's not an external thing. This is something from inside. Something from within. And you say from within, from inside me, I am grateful for this, this, this. So, it's a question of how conscious are you of the blessings that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has blessed you with. And how grateful are you to Allah for those blessings. That's it. It's not about the outside. Right? It's not about the outside. It's not about who has what material, who has how much money, you know, luxuries and what not. No.