Expounded Universe

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/expounded-universe-75-stuff-actually-happens-for-droids.mp3 Artoo pulls off a daring escape attempt while Threepio bumbles artlessly about. Luke’s life is basically an Evanescence song you guys. Leia is on drugs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/expounded-universe-74-crawling-in-my-skin.mp3 Well okay so basically Luke finds out this planet is basically all Mad Maxy and that it’s mostly just a big crystal desert with weird bugs. Han hangs around in a fancy apartment that used to belong to Party Times Palpatine and thinks about how bangable Luke’s old girlfriend is, and while all this is happening, Threepio is falling victim to some droid rules we’ve never heard before. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/expounded-universe-73-carol-of-the-beldorions.mp3 Holy cow this book takes a lot of time to say a little stuff. We do our best to fill time here but we are in the presence of a true master. Leia wakes up and Luke crashes. Still no sight of the promised Han/Lando pairing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/expounded-universe-72-ive-got-a-bad-dzym.mp3 Here we go again. It’s a tale of ancient history and way too much information as we orbit the mysterious Nam Chorios. Who’s Seti Ashgad? How is every Skywalker so universally bad at relationship stuff? Couldn’t you just cover any droid with meat, really? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/expounded-universe-71-red-harvest-wrap-party.mp3 The customary interstitial discussion episode where we relax, answer questions, and take some time off from reading has arrived! How did we feel about Red Harvest? What’s coming next? These questions and so many more can be found right here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/expounded-universe-70-the-triumph-of-frode-and-bennis.mp3 The end is now. Who survives? Who wins? YOU DECIDE! No, wait, it was written down here. We’ll just tell you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/expounded-universe-69-nice.mp3 Whoa, big things are happening now! Hestizo and Rojo face off against the zombie-lord Darth Scabrous while Tulkh and the HK droid blow shit up! Things are heating up as we approach the final chapters of Red Harvest! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/expounded-universe-68-behold-my-evil-plan.mp3 Who dies this time!? We won’t tell you it’s definitely Kindra here. Just tune in to learn more about the librarian, Rojo, and, holy shit, Pergus Frode is back!? Zombies! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/expounded-universe-67-dank-hooves.mp3 Tulkh foolishly goes off on his own after watching Hestizo finally do something useful? Madness! Speaking of madness, what’s going on with our favorite tree librarian? Could it be…. space zombie madness? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/expounded-universe-65-hestizo-cuts-loose.mp3 We’re back from Christmas vacation, and what are we returning to? All these damned zombies, bein’ gross and eatin’ eyeballs. The action heats up as Hestizo finally does some fighting, but Ra’at and Kindra are stalled on some internecine bullshit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/Expounded-Universe-65-So-Many-Poop-Jokes.mp3 Hey the last thing we’re making this year, so we made sure to load it up with fresh buttered poop humor, just for your holidays. Hestizo and Tulkh make discoveries while Rojo has a hard-boiled battle. Also poop. Happy Life Day, everyone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/expounded-universe-64-forever-21-eye-spiders.mp3 I have to be honest here, I’m sick and pretty well wiped out on Nyquil, so I only vaguely remember what we even talked about in this episode. I remember it was a lot of our new character Kindra! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/expounded-universe-63-blackmail-airmail.mp3 Oh sweet, new characters! And we’re starting to learn stuff about the official zombie rules in this universe. Pretty good ones! Can anyone survive? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/expounded-universe-62-28-parsecs-later.mp3 Whoa, zombies have entered the building! They’re coming in! Hold on, is that a quote from a horror movie or something? I should ask Jon. In the meantime, here’s some Star Wars zombie times! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/expounded-universe-61-it-means-red.mp3 Yet more characters! Today we’re meeting the snooty Lieutenant Norch, the surprisingly forward Captain Ansgar, and the stoic badass of the olden years, Rojo Trace. Will any of them meet any other ones? How long till we circle back around and this thing gets going? We have no idea! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/expounded-universe-60-fried-pickles.mp3 It’s like reading a whole new book as none of these chapters seem to be about the same people as the last series! Let’s meet such Star Wars luminaries as Pergus Frode and Wall… Bennis, and a guy called M’nah… look this book is fun so far but these names are a problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/expounded-universe-59-prelude-to-a-sith.mp3 Let’s do the time warp again! In Red Harvest, the narrative takes place nearly 3,500 years before the Battle of Yavin IV. Will we see beloved fan characters like Party Sheev or Kidnap Han? NOOOOOOOOPE!! It’s a brand new universe full of Sith and more Sith and probably zombies. So, let’s get started! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/expounded-universe-58-how-ya-doin.mp3 We sit down to try and piece apart what happened in this book, and really come to an agreement as to thesis and tone and so on. No, just kidding. This is the most ridiculous ramble episode we’ve made that wasn’t an April Fool’s joke. It’s like we just hated the concept of topics. We do at least answer your questions and announce the next book! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/expounded-universe-57-kiss-my-wookiee.mp3 And with hungry hearts, we close this chapter of Expounded Universe. Seriously, we must have been starving, this episode is pretty food heavy. The climax has come, and you know you want to find out what happens to Florida Gethzerion and the boob-centric spellcasters of Dathomir. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/10/expounded-universe-56-the-jedi-knightfall-saga.mp3 The demipenultimate episode! Luke is missing! Teneniel is just working that dark side/light side divide! King Solo finally goes full Princess Bride! And most exciting of all, with two chapters left in the whole book, we finally, finally meet Zsinj, the Mario Mario of Star Wars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/expounded-universe-55-gethzerion-and-on-and-on.mp3 The story really heats up! There’s cool rancor fights and jedi battles and Gethzerion is super in play! But of course we find ways to keep making fun of it. That’s what we do here. That’s our guarantee. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/expounded-universe-54-the-nightwitches-of-jacksonville.mp3 The story heats up as the team raids the prison! Will they find Gethzerion? Will they find love? Is Chewie gonna do anything this episode (spoiler: no). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/expounded-universe-53-the-star-eugenics-wars.mp3 The gang’s all together! And now they’re fighting! Like first graders! Let’s check in on proud naked Tenenniel, Isolder and Han splashing each other, and Luke afraid of cooties in a chapter where everyone looks bad (except Augwynne and Chewbacca, they cool). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/expounded-universe-52-groove-is-in-the-boob.mp3 We get to step in the wild head and untamed boobs of everyone’s new favorite force witch Tenenniel Djo today! There’s fights with Nightwitches, battles of wits (Han is terribly equipped as always) and yet more whuffa to discussa! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/expounded-universe-51-divine-secrets-of-the-dark-side-sisterhood.mp3 Turns out this book can actually be pretty good when it’s not about the scintillating Han/Leia dynamic, so these two chapters, which don’t let the two of them anywhere near each other, are fairly interesting! (PS before you @ me the Wookie language is Shyriiwook everyone knows that EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS THAT). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/expounded-universe-50-the-s-is-for-sucks.mp3 Han continues to be the absolutely worst, but at least he’s a handsome king now (thanks Threepio), and we finally encounter some hotnsexy rancors in today’s thrilling installment! Plus, Luke is apparently just the absolute best at hyperspace. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/expounded-universe-49-drakmar-noir.mp3 We took a week off for GenCon but we’re back and the story just keeps getting weirder! We finally meet Ta’a Chume! We finally set down on Dathomir? And is someone trying to rascal a droid? Who knows? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/expounded-universe-48-character-assassins-creed.mp3 Oh for the love of god Han, no. Stop. Everyone just stop. Chewie, obviously you’re cool, but the rest of you just cut it out. This is it, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the nadir of Star Wars. Here is is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/expounded-universe-47-wookie-clicker.mp3 Finally things start to pick up steam as Han deploys his standard gambling skills, Leia ruffles his hair like an adorable dog, and Chewie just sorta checks out entirely. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/expounded-universe-46-isolder-isoldhat.mp3 The novel begins to search for a groove as we settle in for some deeply bodice-ripping action-free times. Isolder used to be a pirate! Han and Leia have the worst relationship in the history of space! Chewbacca wisely removes himself from the conversation! And more on this week’s thrilling episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/expounded-universe-45-hapes-simplex.mp3 Expounded Universe is going back to basics. Let’s talk about Leia, Han, and their dumb stupid relationship for idiots. Let’s talk about woot horns! And what’s Luke up to? Something something Dathomir something something? YOU BET! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/expounded-universe-44-mos-eisley-roundup.mp3 It’s over! We discuss the best and worst of the characters, chapters, and themes of the Mos Eisley Cantina anthology, answer some listener questions, and look to the future! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/expounded-universe-43-eat-lamprey-love.mp3 Now this is the kind of weird shenanigans we WANT from our Expanded Universe. Thrill to the love story of a wet sock puppet and a cheap werewolf costume! Can love bloom between these weird monsters? Oh shit yes it can! Today, System Mastery gets ficcy with it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/expounded-universe-42-hot-wet-tatooine-niights.mp3 So this chapter is about maps. It’s about maps and moisture farmers and Jawas and Tusken Raiders and a surprising amount of Norwegian Star Wars folks. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/expounded-universe-41-the-make-an-aqualish-foundation.mp3 A long long time after the cantina, on a planet far, far away from the cantina, a new story is unfolding. It’s the Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba show, and it’s… a whole big Dr. Frankenstein thing? Star Wars gets extra gothic on today’s exciting episode. Plus, Jon’s childhood! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/expounded-universe-40-boshek-spaceman.mp3 Oh man, get ready for excitement folks, because today’s story is about a guy in the movie that kinda has a line, sort of! It’s BoShek, and is he a space wizard? No. No, he’s just a pilot. Or wait, is he? Maybe! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-39-with-unlimited-salad-and-breadsticks.mp3 Finally, we get to meet the hookah-smoking man. The mysterious figure that everyone knows to be scared of, the … dude who’s obsessed with soup. It’s the tale of Dannik Jerriko, racer of wrestle cars and lover of sitting on his ass doing nothing, in today’s thrilling episode of Expounded Universe! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-38-davin-busters.mp3 Back at it again with the story of a the rise and fall of one of the Empire’s finest. Follow the story of Davin Felth as he goes through basic training, piloting lessons, and then suddenly finds out that the Empire is actual an evil pile of shit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-37-jawa-nman.mp3 It’s a super special episode as we finally reach the chapter by the man himself, Kevin J. Anderson. He asks the tough questions like “what do Jawa smell like” and “what if there was a Jawa that was pushed TOO FAR”. You’ll find the answers and probably some more elephant anecdotes on this weeks episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-36-elephant-tales.mp3 This week at the cantina we are following around that guy in the dollar store devil costume to see what he is up to. Turns out, he is balls deep into the stories of everyone else that has come along so far in the book. Also, we go kind of crazy talking about elephants. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-hes-a-goat-yall.mp3 While Mos Eisley has been described as a den of “scum and villainy”, so far the book hasn’t been too full of real scumbags. All of that is going to change this week the introduction of Feltipern Trevagg, the biggest asshole on Tattooine. It’s a whole chapter of letting us know just how much of a pile of crap this guy is before giving him his comeuppance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-wuher-i-got-you-all-in-check.mp3 Though weary and facing insurmountable odds, our heroes manage to put together a podcast this week. Jef is baby-tired and Jon is slowly turning into pure mucous. However, we still manage to bring you the tale of a bartender that doesn’t like droids but then maybe does. Woooo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-momaw-nadon-mo-problems-nadon.mp3 A wise, old Ithorian in exile as penance. An evil officer of the Empire that haunts his memory. See what happens when these two oddly competent characters have to square off with the fate of Tattooine in the balance. Ok, maybe not that much is at stake. But definitely the fate of a bunch of weird plants! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-32-batman-and-robbing.mp3 The meta-plots really start to thicken as we examine the tale of Muftak and Kabe, otherwise known as the Hairy Four-Eye and his good friend, the adorable little bat thing. Characters are beginning to emerge from the woodwork, such as the craggy and evil Captain Alima, the wise old Ithorian Momaw Nadon, and the mysterious hookah smoker. Oh, but we don’t care. We’re busy making our favorite stormtrooper pregnant and referencing The Critic. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-31-built-tonnika-tough.mp3 Jon’s pretty grumpy from the word go in the tale of the “Tonnika Twins” that contains less than 2% of the following ingredients: Tonnika Twins. Timothy Zahn weaves us one of his usual “badass warriors do badass things because of their tactical genius and cool honor code” narratives, with a weirdly brief stopover to recite the events of the Cantina more or less verbatim. Meet the Mistryl Shadow Guard! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-30-greedo-and-gallant.mp3 The sad tale of Greedo is such a comedy of terrible decisions and avoidable circumstance that the only thing it’s missing is a Ron Howard voiceover. We follow the suck-fingered bounty hunter on his journey from little jerk kid to little jerk teenager and beyond (well, not that much beyond, you all know how this one ends)! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-29-and-it-turned-into-the-ballroom-bith.mp3 The wheel begins spinning anew with the tales behind every dime store werewolf and devil mask seeking a drink and some shade in the famed Mos Eisley Cantina. Our anthology begins with the story of Figrin D’An and the Modal Nodes, the hottest jizz act since… I am not going to finish that thought… no wait I can do this Max Rebo and his Orchestra. There. Nailed the landing. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-28-the-crystal-stop.mp3 The big wrap-up episode! We answer your questions about The Crystal Star (Obviously, we are the world established experts on the topic now), discuss the themes of the book, and announce the next chapter in the ongoing Expounded series! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-27-and-then-it-blew-up.mp3 The yawning conclusion of Crystal Star finally arrives! Thrill as dramatic tension moments rise unnoticed and are swept away within a paragraph to get to more hair compliments!Don’t forget, listeners! Next week is the wrap-up episode for this saga of Expounded Universe. We’ll be announcing the next book and answering your Crystal Star questions, so send those to [email protected], right away! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-26-mister-bumblesnuffle.mp3 In this chapter, something happens. Hey, don’t forget to actually hit us with Star Wars questions, as our wrap-up episode is coming soon. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices