Evolving Love

Today’s conversation is deeply personal for us and one that features a unique, open-minded and compassionate perspective from our guest.We’re joined by Dr. Sandra Webster, an educational leader, former school principal across three different countries, and more recently the author of the book “Creating Family-School Partnerships”.In this conversation, we explore what true inclusion looks like for families who don’t fit the traditional mould, how schools can better understand the reality of diverse home lives, and why partnership between parents and educators is essential.We also dive into power, communication, and what it takes to create environments where every child and every family feel like they genuinely belong.Sandra Webster Links:Sandra's BookEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we reflect on what it has been like to take our relationship into the public eye after appearing on SBS’s Insight, where we spoke about jealousy, envy, and compersion. What followed was a flood of online commentary, much of it critical. We unpack what it feels like to have our relationship reduced to a two-minute clip and judged at scale, and we explore why people feel so certain in their opinions about something they don’t fully understand.We explore how judgment is a natural human response, but how the way it’s expressed matters, and how much of what people say is actually a reflection of their own fears, experiences, or conditioning around relationships. We also share how we each process criticism differently, one of us feeling largely unaffected, the other needing to work through it more consciously. Through it all, we come back to what grounds us, our relationship, our values, and our sense of self, and why continuing to have these conversations publicly still feels important, even when it invites criticism.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s conversation opens up a wider reflection on modern gender discourse and and whether some narratives unintentionally deepen the divide between men and women rather than bringing them together. We explore what it means to hold space for the realities of inequality while still imagining a future where men and women move forward in partnership rather than opposition. We also discuss Married At First Sight, dating culture and explore the concept of arranged marriage.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth.We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and repair. It’s a vulnerable look at what really happens inside non-monogamous relationships when values and emotions collide.We also dive into Fer’s “Mono-Poly” relationship with her now fiancé Seth, a one-sided open relationship where she is non-monogamous and he is monogamous. From pacing opening up intentionally, to navigating jealousy without shame, to redefining compersion and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” this episode explores what relationship by design truly looks like.Fer’s Links:Instagram | Website | Polycurious Podcast w/ SethEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.”With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder of ShellShocked Media.In this episode Shelly shares deeply from her own experience with peri. It is humorous, at times heartbreaking, uplifting and a conversation that we all need to be having.Shelly Horton’s Links:Instagram | Website | Shelly’s BookEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeIf this episode resonates with you, please share it far and wide! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good third, where things can go wrong, and why communication, enthusiasm, and consent are non-negotiable.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeResources From Episode:From Strength To Strength - Arthur C. BrooksImperfects Podcast - Why Does Life Feel Harder at 40? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy SelfiesEvan Buckley - CultsDr. Rob Brooks - AIEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeSee you in 2026!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!! To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, Civilized to Death, and host of Tangentially Speaking.In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamentally non-monogamous, why monogamy can still be a meaningful choice, and how shame, safety, novelty, and honesty shape our erotic lives. We also explore how AI will transform intimacy and whether social conditioning distorts our instincts.For us, it is the perfect way to mark 100 episodes of the Evolving Love podcast.Thank you for being here with us. ❤️Chris Ryan Links:WebsiteSubstack / PodcastInstagram This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load”….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly.We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical, emotional, mental, and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough conversations, we explore how these patterns form, what they mean, and why they can feel so heavy.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence? In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date.We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication. After the date ends, we unpack the emotional and ethical fallout — from erotic AI fantasies to whether falling for a chatbot could ever count as cheating.This episode blurs the line between human and digital intimacy, asking:Can an AI girlfriend feel real?What happens when machines mirror desire?Is emotional connection without a body still love?Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl. This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist.In this episode, we discuss* Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative?* What are the ethics of writing about your ex?* Why do female rage albums hit so hard?* Does this record hurt or help how non-monogamy is seen?* And… who exactly is Madeline?From kink-shaming to compersion, privacy to power, we discuss the tension between honesty, art, and the stories we tell about love.We also mention the Architectural Digest Tour of Lily and David’s House and this brilliant Substack article by Jack Cullen.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Dabaco Sunset is a queer-affirming psychotherapist and embodiment facilitator in Sydney, specializing in Gestalt Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Embodied Counselling to help LGBTQ+ individuals and clients with alternative relating styles like ethical non-monogamy.Dabaco practices In the inner-west in Sydney at Sunset Psychotherapy.In this episode Dabaco opens up about growing up bisexual and pansexual, his time in Berlin’s queer scene, and the journey from infidelity and secrecy to radical self-acceptance.Dabaco Sunset LinksWebsite | Instagram | Naked ManEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

“Why do you need a female friend if you’re married?” In this episode, Abbey and Liam unpack the space where friendship, attraction, romantic relationships and trust collide.From jealousy to risk-taking they explore whether cross-gender friendships are threats to marriage, what happens when you forbid them, and how non-monogamous couples navigate these dynamics differently.Do female friendships always pose a risk? Or are they an essential part of a balanced life?Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In todays episode we play Devil’s Advocate. Can you argue a position you don’t truly believe in? Does switching sides test our own beliefs and sharpen our perspectives?We go head-to-head on:* Should happy couples risk opening their relationship?* Is non-monogamy a solution for struggling couples?* The infamous One Penis Policy — protection or possession?* Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell vs Kitchen Table Polyamory* Growing older: does monogamy or non-monogamy serve us better?Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Abbey and Liam are joined by evolutionary biologist Dr. Rob Brooks to explore the rise of AI companions, sex robots, and whether love with machines can ever be “real.” They discuss jealousy over chatbots, the naturalist fallacy, and the deep question of whether humans are naturally monogamous or non-monogamous.Drawing from Rob’s book Artificial Intimacy, the conversation dives into the future of intimacy, the regulation of AI, and what it means for relationships when machines can replicate (and even challenge) human connection.Rob Brooks LinksWebsite | SubstackWatch this episode on YoutubeEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | RetreatLive Podcast Tickets LinkFriday 10th October, NFSA, Canberra This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Evolving Love 2.0, Abbey and Liam explore where they sit on the spectrum between swinging and polyamory. From loud neighbours and exhibitionist fantasies to navigating crushes, labels, and compersion, they dive into the playful, messy, and honest realities of non-monogamy after more than a decade together.They also share why “relationship by design” is central to their lives, and how fantasy and reality often intersect in surprising ways.Watch on YoutubeEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | RetreatLive Podcast Tickets LinkFriday 10th October, NFSA, Canberra This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe