Evolutionary Men

In this episode I bring on Benjamin Roth and Jeff Raab to explore how improv and theater work can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies. We talk about the courage it takes to make bold choices without overthinking, how to stay present when you cant control the outcome, and why developing comfort with failure might be one of the most important masculine capacities for navigating life and relationshipsClick the icon below to listen.       

After more than 3 years and 7 cohorts of The Heart of Shadow program and retreat for men, Luke and I are thrilled to be teaming up with my wife Violet to bring the experience to women. Many of the men that work with us ask how they can support their partners and the women in their life, and we're thrilled to say we think The Heart of Shadow for Women is one of those ways! The three of us talk about shadow work and the many ways its the same for men and women, and the many ways it's different! Learn more about the Heart of Shadow for Women at https://heartofshadow.com/womenClick the icon below to listen.       

In this episode I bring on my friend and practicing couples therapist Ryan Ginn to break down what separates great couples therapy from a waste of your time and money. If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner were just venting to a silent witness every session, or you’re trying to figure out where to even start looking for the right fit, this one’s for you. Ryan and I get into the leadership quality you want from a therapist, why nervous system training matters way more than just talking about your problems, and how to know when it’s time to find someone new. We also cover the trap of litigating the past, what it means to actually train your relational capacity in session, and the willingness both partners need to bring for any of it to work. Learn more about Ryan at https://ryanginn.com and https://www.beingmen.net/ Lead your relationship with more depth in my Pillars of Presence program Reconnect, Repair, and Reignite your relationship at via 12 Epic Dates and Evolutionary CouplesClick the icon below to listen.       

In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what’s happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so many of us freeze when it matters most and what’s actually underneath that freeze. We explore the origin stories of why our nervous systems learned to lock things up in the first place, the difference between vulnerability and transparency, and why a men’s group is often the only place where you can finally practice bringing yourself forward in a way that actually sticks. If you’ve ever had words stuck in your throat with a partner, struggled to have a hard conversation, or just felt like something is blocked between what you know and what you can say, this one’s for you. Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at https://heartofshadow.comClick the icon below to listen.       

In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don’t want to look at. We also explore what shifts when sex becomes an expression of connection rather than a destination to escape to. If you’ve ever wondered why “better sex” isn’t about technique, this one’s for you. Shadow work creates the capacity to feel more, stay present, and stop using sex to discharge what we haven’t learned to process. When we release our partners from the burden of managing our emotional lives, something opens up. And when we have a group of men to hold our vulnerability, we stop needing our intimate relationships to do all that work. The path to better sex runs through your gut, your heart, and the shadows you’ve been avoiding. Join the next Heart of Shadow Men’s Group and RetreatClick the icon below to listen.