Ep.158: Getting Close with Aidan Wharton: Connection and Building Relationships That Actually Fit
Explore the intersections of technology and relationships in this compelling episode of Everything and Anything in a Bit Gay. Host Zach Randles-Friedman sits down with actor-turned-writer Aidan Wharton to discuss connection, mindfulness, and building meaningful relationships in a digital age. Aidan shares his journey from Broadway performer to Substack writer and podcaster, unpacking how our phones and digital distractions reshape how we relate to others. Dive into topics like the modern attention trap fueled by platforms like TikTok, the challenge of being present, and simple habits that can restore balance such as using an analog alarm clock and phone-free bedrooms. They also openly discuss adult friendships, community, LGBTQ+ open relationships, and the nuanced role of jealousy. If you are looking to foster deeper connections and mindful relationships within the LGBTQ+ community and beyond, this episode offers insightful and heartfelt conversation to guide you through the complexities of human connection today.
Everything & Anything...and a bit gay Podcast · Zach Randes-Friedman
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Show Notes
In this episode, we cover:
- Meet Aidan Wharton: from theater school to the Wicked national tour and Broadway’s Girl From the North Country
- Why Aidan “checked the boxes” in acting—and followed boredom and curiosity into writing + podcasting
- The origin story of Aidan’s podcast Getting Close and its three pillars: curiosity, connection, community
- How technology can be both a tool and a wedge—and why Aidan can’t stop thinking about how it’s pulling us apart
- Zach’s Provincetown dinner story: when everyone’s on Grindr and nobody is actually together
- The “watch the movie” debate: why phones during TV time drive some of us absolutely insane
- Practical habits to fight the scroll:
- deleting apps you don’t need
- keeping your phone out of the bedroom
- switching to an analog alarm clock
- Aidan’s love-hate relationship with Instagram: business vs. mindless scrolling
- Aidan and Casey’s love story:
- meeting on Hinge
- long distance during tour
- moving in right before COVID
- breaking up, regrouping, and rebuilding
- the mutual proposal idea: exchanging rings on the same day
- a wedding in Hawaii with a week-long community vibe—and yes, Aidan grew up in a yurt
- A real conversation about open relationships:
- why Aidan believes relationships can be “custom-built”
- what people get wrong (and loud) online
- jealousy as an “incredible teacher” that points to deeper needs
- why openness often gets blamed for breakups even when the issues were already there
- Adult friendship and community-building:
- why making friends as an adult is hard (and takes intentional work)
- Aidan’s “say yes to everything” social experiment
- why follow-up texts matter
- the idea of friendship as shared curiosity
- Zach’s take on Boston vs. New York gay social culture
- How Aidan chooses guests for Getting Close (so far):
- starting with people he trusts while the show is still “baby”
- guests ranging from queer fitness to sex therapy to investigative journalism
- Aidan’s dream guests and influences:
- Anna Lembke (Dopamine Nation)
- Johann Hari (Stolen Focus)
- Vivek Murthy and the loneliness epidemic
- big-picture hopes for cultural + political conversations rooted in empathy
- Aidan’s message for anyone feeling disconnected:
- connection doesn’t require a giant life overhaul
- it starts with small actions—one text, one coffee, one choice to get close
Mentioned in the episode:
Aidan’s podcast: Getting Close
Aidan’s Substack: Gay Buffet
Tools + habits: analog alarm clock, phone boundaries, intentional social “yes” seasons
Call to action
If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to Everything and Anything in a Bit Gay and check out Getting Close wherever you listen. And if you’re craving more connection in your own life—send one text today. One small “get close” moment counts.
Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com
Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977
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