Elis James and John Robins

Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S’ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check.John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John’s wins leaves Elis literally speechless.Elsewhere we meet Elis’s unkempt uni alter ego, John realises he should have been born in a Megaworld, and Dave is invited to get into the early human scene.Remember to pop on yer BBC Sounds app on Saturday morning to hear this week’s Bureau de Change of the Mind.

It’s a rollercoaster of a show for Elis James. He has the opportunity to rectify recent Welsh footballing disappointment by becoming the only player in Cymru Connection history to connect with 5 people twice. National pride can be restored, as long as Elis opens his eyes and doesn’t go down a Cymru cul-de-sac. Come on El, a (potentially imaginary) listener’s haircut depends on it!Plus John plays hardball with the One Show, there’s a trip down the Shame Well that knocks Elis bandy, and Dave finally reveals what he’s known for turning up to parties with… Send in your whats and wares to [email protected].

“You were hungover thinking about darts.” “You are scum.” “You are a waste that has wasted himself.” “How do you like that John?” “Why don’t you just melt in the park you never walked through enough 21 years ago?” “You complete piece of S.”From that exchange you wouldn’t think it would be a philosophical episode. However it is. It's deep. It’s a privilege, despair, sadness, nostalgia fest. And for once, the despair isn’t coming from John. You’ve got the Bosnians to thank for that. It’s also Edin Dzeko’s fault as to why Elis is dressed as a man who runs a community farm.Elsewhere Dave gets some coaching off a much speedier runner, John couldn’t leave his bed because he had an enjoyable visit to his old university college, and we have a reappraisal of Mellowship Slinky in B major.And finally, do we have a companion podcast to ‘A History of Nudity in a Thousand Beautiful Women with John Robins’? Because, after all, you simply must have two episodes a week these days.Get your Bureau when it’s piping hot on Saturday mornings, only on BBC Sounds.

Elis has come off the back of a midi week but that’s not a problem, because the hive mind has another great TV format to which the networks can say “I love it, so I’m going to say ‘no’.” ‘John’s Thoughts’ arrives much to Elis’s confusion, during which John’s also come up with an emotion that’s more complex than nostalgia. “What is this?” asks the Assistant to a Thought Leader about the feature. We don’t quite know yet but it is certainly a great conduit for chin wagging chat. And in all of that we’ve got a belting Made Up Game which really plays to the boys’ experience in indie commercial digital radio.It’s [email protected] if you’ve got a game that could wet our whistles.

It’s all Hits and Mems today as we imagine two media worlds that John Robins could have inhabited. These being: Bristol local radio (1-4pm) and the manosphere. Traffic, travel and the afternoon countdown to the pub, or grifting? Two forks in the road he could have gone down, but thankfully hasn’t. Safe to say his imagination is in fervent overdrive as we also hear of a world where he has $10 million… and won an Oscar. But what of Elis? Well he may have a heart attack. We also receive a right of reply from a disgraced Global Radio employee trying to clear his name, and there’s an all time great Mad Dad story of a father in a cultural vacuum. And do get on the blooming Bureau on a Saturday why don’t you?

The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today’s show. How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get even more unassailable? It’s all to play for. Elsewhere, John’s imagined a world that almost leaves him in tears, and there’s a TV-worthy MUG that’s more tense than this show’s compliance meeting with BBC bosses after hearing John’s supermarket docu-drama last week… You can contribute to the Elis and John canon by emailing [email protected].

The studio is wafting with sandalwood and intense male musk because Dave’s got a new scent, something which is causing John much nasal fascination. But yet again, the big story is a huge Elis James week. What a run he’s on by the way. He’s had a completely genuine standing ovation at one of London’s coolest comedy gigs. Further still, he’s performed the finest bit of house jobbery he’s ever done, with plumbing tape elevating this above Mega Week. Elsewhere, Adrian brings the boys some significant crispy content and John’s even sacking people who no longer work with him. We also have potentially our most round about chat ever in addressing some correspondence. From cumin and white pepper into the meaning of creativity to horses and penguins, back to the email. And do check out Saturday’s Bureau for crying out loud. Only on BBC Sounds.

John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That’s right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he’s primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it’s Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks.Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she’d had meal deals? Did she resent not having a fridge, or Tetris, or yoghurt? What would Henry VIII have made of an air fryer?Plus, Elis’s Welshness gets him in hypothetical hot water.

What do Sir Steve Redgrave, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, David Beckham and John Robins have in common? None of them were asked on QI. Elis has though, and it’s clearly going down very very well with all parties. But today feels significant as we rope in a special guest to digest Elis hammering his friend using his fast twitch fibres. On top of that, John’s having a big day - something which others seriously doubt. “He’s probably just had too much hot sauce on his scrambled egg,” cries Dave. Wrong! In fact he’s being texted by a ghost curry house. Elsewhere the boys ask Adrian *all* the questions you’ve ever wanted to know, and we get a bit nostalgic as John talks of the only cool thing he’s ever done. Remember, the Bureau is available Saturday morning *only on* BBC Sounds.

John is not going to dance to their tune. Who’s tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that’s who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain’t dancing. But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David’s Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn around a poor run of form in the Cymru Connection, or will he besmirch the good name of Wales around its big day? Elsewhere, Elis dives headfirst into a cognitive decline casserole, the boys riff a future award-winning feature on the fly, and we take a welcome trip back down the Shame Well. Send in your missives to [email protected].

Elis is in the middle of a megaweek. He’s about to do a 100m race for charity that he wishes could be 18 yards, he’s been to 10 Downing Street because Sir Keir is in love with him, and he’s been accosted by a roomful of Welsh people wanting to connect with him.But amongst all this he has also been betrayed. For there was a Paul McCartney-based event that he wasn’t invited to, despite another member of the team making the guest list.But what about John? He’s been doing what he does everyday; checking the price of Bitcoin. This despite not ever having owned any.

Elis has Barrel of Eggs’ed it. Or more accurately, Isy has. The new car has met its match in the form of inner-London car park tight corners. But for a show that holds content on the highest pedestal possible, this can only be seen as a good thing. Not only has Elis got a damaged car, but he also has a damaged connection rate in the Cymru Connection. Can youth-based listener Holly be the ticket Elis needs to do a three point turn and drive straight up Success Alley? Elsewhere there’s an abundance of fun as both Benjamin Partridge and Lou Sanders give their two cents on hot air balloons and the glowing-up of Elis James respectively, John does some winning and losing, and a trip to the sound proof booth causes Elis to do some very strange things…Keep watering the soil of content by sending in your fantastic correspondence to [email protected].

It’s Melvin Brain in the chair today as we go all Radio 4. What is thought? What is the self? High. Brow. This is the Best Comedy show at the British Podcast Awards 2025. Parenting Hell simply isn't doing this. There’s even an academic called Dr Loevenbruck involved.It is a full spectrum of vibes today. From deep psychology to S’ing yourself twice in a heartbeat.Elsewhere, John has a hollow coldness in the bones. In other words, he’s hungry. Meanwhile, Elis has eggs on the brain.And it turns out there’s hope for John in meeting the love of his life taking life two steps at a time.P.S. Producer Michael has read an awful lot of emails about inner monologues this week. The sheer quality of correspondence this week has been top tier.

It’s a shame this year’s Oscar nominations have been named because John’s new film idea could have swept the board. Watch out John Ford with your record 4 wins for Best Director, watch out James Cameron with your highest-grossing films, there’s a new auteur in town. However, it isn’t all positivity for our Robins. After the highs of creativity, the lows of having your heart broken by someone you thought was a good friend. Elis’s foul-mouthed review of one of Frank Zappa’s albums leaves a sour taste in the mouth, and ends up with Elis being put in the Dweeb Gang with fellow Zappa detractor Snoop Dogg. Elsewhere there’s a Winter Olympics-based Made Up Game where Elis just simply will not show his workings, Drs Chris and Xand van Tulleken leave John a heartwarming message, and a harmless game of 20 questions goes down like a lead balloon. Keep sending in your top tier correspondence to [email protected], or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

It’s limbs in the studio as a box of brownies and a couple of books have lifted Elis out of a funk. What great news for bookworms with low blood sugar. But the internal glucose alarm isn’t the only one going off as a fire alert causes chaos. We also get psychological as the boys unpick the idea of the inner monologue, and with that the terrifying engine steering John under the bonnet. Would Freud enjoy this? Potentially. Would it frighten him? Almost certainly. And from brains to bodies, the show gets panned as the least erotic thing possible, whilst we have a couple of fantastically zoological Mad Dads.

Due to factors it’s another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show’s exemplary badinage level is kept high. The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business to codify the essence of Cymru Connecting stops by to adjudicate a live connection attempt. But not before taking questions on the Boer War and explaining what the Dutch have to do with all of this. Then it’s onto an old classic Made Up Game that reveals slightly too much information about its players…Do you have contributions that will help us maintain industry leading levels of badinage? Send them into [email protected] or WhatsApp them to 07974 293 022.

Today we discover there’s a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we’re in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view.Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine.In some excellent correspondence, there’s solutions to the below knee level fridge issue that’s been rocking rural Bucks, the boys are in Forbes. Larry Leasehead and Simon Secondhand also give their respective views in what is some of this show’s most practical advice in a generation.

How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah’s hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can’t resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy’s favourite things.Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game which he initially goes in two footed on.For the usual top-notch correspondence it’s [email protected] on email and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp.

Today is all about bravery. Lord Nelson levels. John’s back is playing up. Why? “Oil rig level” dangerous activities in cleaning his below knee height fridge. So he’s wheeled in on a big telly for a London-Buckinghamshire simulcast. John has also been listening to The Witches in bed. Which is also brave because it’s scary. Elis has also been in the wars at 5-a-side with an injury apparently akin to tearing your nethers. Yet more bravery. In happenings which are irrelevant to courage we also fly in an expert to help John make his holiday booking process less insane.

“Caernarfon Heritage Steam Train, why must you forsake me?” Now that’s a taste of what to expect on this episode. The next step in Elis’s English language stand up return has hit the buffers as he plays a room which isn’t Europe’s best gig. Just how can he produce laughs from wealth managers when Llanfairfechan Community Centre is some of the best stuff in his arsenal? Fear not however, because the bit about a big table in a miners’ institute is always ready to go in emergencies. But it’s not all anxiety dreams, as we take a journey into the forest mind via John’s new mantra for life. There’s also one of our greatest jingles ever and a game which Elis hates, thus meaning great aural enjoyment for yourselves.Want to get in touch? Your go-to’s are [email protected] on email and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp, which is like text messages but also works on internet only SIM packages.

John has had a nice time. So join us on a journey as Britain’s most normal man goes on holiday to Scotland. Now, we’ve been here before, and we can promise that this time it involves far less emotionally intense visits to various Celtic car parks. Elis’s return to English language stand up also continues apace. It’s going so well that he’s going to play a room where the average age is about 22 and specialises in clowning. How does he play this? We also receive more info on the great Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett.

It’s a definition bumper pack show today as we cram as much goodness as we possibly can into a single podcast episode. Think of us as one of those fruit shots; it’s pure podcasting distilled into a single hit.The main ingredient is friend of the show Josh Widdicombe, who pops by to talk all things pop culture. He’s adding a new wing to his podcast empire and Elis and John have suggestions. Josh also provides a boots-on-the-ground review of Elis’s recent return to standup, and lifts the lid on his lofty ambitions.Widdicombe aside, John returns to a simpler time, a more fruit-game-based time. But he ain’t slicing, no, no. This time, he’s merging.And the fun doesn't stop there as Elis attempts to arrest the Cymru Connection slide by asking a caller if they've ever bought baguettes in Cardiff. It’s vintage stuff.Send in your thoughts and feelings to [email protected], or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

Who’s that unrecognisable figure sat across from John!? He looks full of beans, he looks young and vibrant. Why, it’s Circuit Elis! And he’s so back.After playing the country’s most bafflingly playable gig, Elis’s mood and confidence are at an all time high. He’s perfected his opening gambit, he’s got the country’s best bullet-pointed set. That is until John bursts his bubble…John on the other hand talks us through his miracle morning that comes complete with its own (and very on brand) acronym. He also describes how he’s recently boarded the porridge train, before sending a listener to the sin bin for challenging the autonomy of the UK plug.You know what they say; if you come for Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett DBE’s Type G UK plug, you best not miss.

Today’s show is one of peaks and troughs as everyone experiences their ups and downs. John puts forward a very questionable defence against a hypothetical crime, and Elis rails at scoring badly on an intelligence test.On the flip side, the state of John’s brain receives numerous plaudits, and Elis tells an Oscar-worthy joke. It’s classic light and shade.Elsewhere, Dave takes the team down memory lane by invoking Project Spice, as the boys taste a variety of hot chilli sauces that are guaranteed to blow their heads off. Elis attempts to kick-start the Cymru Connection, we learn about JohnTech (‘mainly tech stuff’), and Elis gets blindsided by a historical meeting with a bloke on holiday who kept saying that Sheffield was massive.Emails and WhatsApps to [email protected] and 07974 293022 respectively please.

2026 is a big year for Johnny JR as he sets his sights on winning the London Marathon. And with Dave lacing up his cheating shoes to pound the P of London’s streets as well, the team have quezzies.Luckily today’s episode features a man who is more than capable of answering said quezzies: friend of the show and running guru Ben Parkes. It’s his job to help John hack the London Marathon. Godspeed Ben.But fear not, it’s not all running chat. Elis has been on the TV, John is (like Meatloaf) out of hell, and there’s a cornucopia of call centre celeb stories to read.Keep your ears peeled for some fine Mad Daddery featuring ancient ONS maps, and the team imagine how John would fare on I’m A Celebrity.

Could 2026 be the year that Elis and John change beyond recognition? And we’re not talking spiritually or even emotionally; we’re talking physically. Because Elis aims to bolster his handsomeness across the calendar year, and John toys with the prospect of going bagless under the old peepers. Cosmetic surgery aside, John has written up a 28 point plan for if he became World King. Luckily he lost confidence in delivering all 28 points, but do watch this space. And we kick off Elis’s Annus Connectus by delving back into the nation's favourite pastime: the Cymru Connection. It all ends with Elis asking a random Welsh person whether they know a tech guy from a random theatre who once said he liked the Beatles. Normal Cymru Connecting resumed then.Send in your wonderful correspondence to [email protected] or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

It may be a new year, but it’s an old John we find on today’s podcast. An attempted new year’s resolution meant the odd tear was shed, and now he’s in hell. But it’s not all bad, because he does have the cleanest crotch in show business thanks to a hand sanitiser mishap.Spirits get lifted by a visit from our in-house statistician, our very own Andy Zaltzman, Statman Ross. He reveals that John’s Made Up Game stats are akin to those of Roger Federer, and there’s confirmation that Elis can certainly go down as one of the big 4 MUG winners of his generation. An aural heat map is drawn up of Elis’s connecting hotspots, and some geographical blind spots present themselves.Elsewhere there are celeb call centre tales, and Dave sheds light on his brief stint as a professional Mario Kart racer.

The year 2025 will forever be remembered as the year of Elis and John. It will be remembered for John's wins and losses, for Elis's car antics. It will be remembered for Tim Key's John snub, for Elis cementing the Cymru Connection into the Welsh psyche. It will be remembered for James Acaster's searing takedowns, for Dave's alarm disaster, and for the four words: 'it was oil again'. As Elis and John set sail into the new year, it's time to look back at the wake of good content they've left behind. Expect paint in car footwells, a surprise appearance from Lou and a chaotic Made Up Game for the ages. Please continue to send in your fantastic correspondence to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Put the wrapping paper down, turn off Home Alone and stop stressing about a glorified Sunday roast… the true meaning of Christmas has finally been revealed to us, and would you believe it, it’s Elis and John! Yes, everything in this festive period has been leading up to Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker, and boy does it deliver on festive cheer. Because what’s more Christmassy than a debate about TVs in hotel rooms, or a 45-year-old man getting lost in pictures of the 1950s footballer Tom Finney, (aka The Preston Plumber)?Unwrapping this podcast with your ears will also reveal a not-so-secret secret Santa, some yuletide Mad Daddery, and a chat with a very busy Mother Christmas. But festive cheer is not the only thing on today’s agenda because we’re also celebrating 500 episodes of the BBC era! Elis and John relive some moments from their very first show and the ghosts of Christmas Past Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode stop by to play a Made Up Game and chat Christmas flicks. Thanks for all your tip-top correspondence this year, and may 2026 bring even better emails and WhatsApps about oils, guffs and inappropriate school trips. Send everything into [email protected] or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

John's eaten two helpings of pancakes and we’re in a race against time. Can this bantercast cram in enough badinage before one of its hosts succumbs to a sugar crash? It’s a question that’s been asked many times before, and one that will no doubt be asked again, but it’s a critical question nonetheless.Elis has spent the week telling his wife Isy that he ‘must be alone’ in order to finish John’s book. He successfully wrangled enough solo time to do so and delivers his verdict. It’s praise all round, but Dave appears to come out of it badly.Elsewhere it’s peak Christmas. Listener gifts are opened, Elis is dreading his drive to Cardiff, and John doesn’t want to talk about his Christmas lest the show turn into another mental health podcast.And we end on the question: how do you inject digital oil into a podcast to make it rise to the top? Answers on a postcard.