Earth Dreams: Zen Buddhism and the Soul of the World

One of the figures that we encounter in the Zen literature is the stone woman. In the Precious Mirror Samadhi we find her dancing, in another story she calls us back from our dream of the world.In the study of the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, she shows up early on when Dogen quotes Furong Daokai. “The green mountains are always moving, a stone woman gives birth to a child at night.” He then comments on the stone woman, saying:“A stone woman gives birth to a child at night” means that the moment when a barren woman gives birth to a child is called “night.” There are male stones, female stones, and nonmale, nonfemale stones. (13) They are placed in the sky and in the earth and are called heavenly stones and earthly stones. These are explained in the ordinary world, but not many people actually know about it. You should understand the meaning of giving birth to a child. At the moment of giving birth to a child, is the mother separate from the child? You should study not only that you become a mother when your child is born, but also that you become a child. (14) This is the actualization of giving birth in practice-realization. You should study and investigate this thoroughly.So, who is this stone woman? Have you met her? Have you taken the time to hear the stories of the mountains, the stars, the river rocks, the stones you encounter on your walk? What is their experience of night? Of birth? Of silence, life, time and human?The Stone Woman SpeaksThere are stories told throughout the world, throughout time about the lives of mountains, stones, trees and the natural world. Stories of how the mountains were made. How the world was made, stories of creation. There are even stories of women being turned to stone. When I was living in the Pacific Northwest, I learned some of the creation myths of the indigenous people who live in the region. In the telling, the local mountains have a prominent role. The Chinook tell of Thunderbird laying eggs on top of Saddle Mountain, which an ogress will then throw down the Mountain, peopling the area.The Klickitat story involves the formation of Wy’east (Mt. Hood), Pahto (Mt. Adams) and Loo-wit (Mt. St. Helen’s). In this story Loo-wit is a beautiful woman, who once guarded the first fire for the Great Spirit. Wy’east and Pahto were brother warriors who both fell in love with Loo-wit, and started fighting over her by spitting fireballs over the land. Eventually Great Spirit turned them into stone, mountain-volcanoes—banishing the Stone Woman Loo-wit up to the northern regions.Do you know some of the stories about the mountains, rivers or landforms in your area? Or ones you have visited? Have you ever listened to or heard the story of a tree, rock, flower, river or some other being in the natural world?During the Grasses and Trees Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery on the fourth full-day of the retreat we often invite participants to have sanzen with a being in the natural world. Sanzen, which means sitting zen together, is what we call the 1:1 practice meetings in Zen. We are invited to meet a blade of grass, a pond, a noble fire, sky with an open mind, a question, a willingness to listen and learn from. Often people come back with a story of transmission. Something happened in the encounter, often part of the practice involves a willingness to listen to the silence—for the natural world often doesn’t speak in human language.Mysterious TransmissionsThis image of the stone woman is also pointing to prajna paramita, the mother of all buddhas, wisdom beyond wisdom. To encounter the stone woman, is to meet the night, the darkness of not-knowing, the pure potential energy that we are—the great mystery. We are invited into the dark-unknowing, the womb of pure potential—where we become one with the wisdom of the ancestors, where we are born anew.From this place our life emerges, from this place it is fulfilled. —HongzhiFor more explorations of the stone woman giving birth at night, listen to the dharma talk. I would love to hear any reflections that you have. It’s poetry month, and I am also exploring encounters with the stone woman through poetry.The Stone Woman Speaks(a poem) the stone woman lives in the foundation of my house but also, in the potholed alley the river bed & on the rock face of the glen. she who was —before— people, animal, name. she who will be here —after— we are no longer. she speaks in cool, smooth ancient sounds the kind that turn you around and let you hear the voice of your own —inner silence.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonLight of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryGrasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sang

Greetings Friends,Happy April Fool’s Day! Last week I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a Zen sesshin in the mountains of West Virginia at Saranam Retreat Center.Sesshin, a zen-style silent meditation retreat which translates as touching the heart-mind, has been a huge part of my adult life. While living at Great Vow Zen Monastery, I practiced sesshin together in sangha for a week every month. Such is the rhythm of monastic life we enter this cauldron of awakening together and let our hearts and minds simplify to reveal their true nature.Preparing for sesshin has a feeling of preparing for death— for opening to oneness is not the ego’s domain. Sesshin is grounded in the aspiration to awaken with all beings. An impossible vow that truly we are entangled in, this springing forth of great love is actualized through our practice—realized in this heart.For the dharma teachings are not just “good ideas” but insights we can come to know in our bones, as our body-mind.There is something utterly incomprehensible about sitting together in silence and allowing ourselves to be touched by the great mystery.To return from sesshin is impossible, and yet—here we are. Back from the dead, changed, transformed. Heart’s silent presence alive in our inter-relations. Vow awakened and lived into here-and-now.This is compassion!During sesshin we practiced with Dogen Zenji’s Mountains and Waters Sutra. Which I have been giving dharma talks on over the last few weeks, during the online Monday Night Dharma. This week we explored the practice of circling back to study ourselves. In the Mountains and Waters Sutra, Dogen says:The blue mountains devote themselves to the investigation of walking; the East Mountain studies “moving over the water.” Hence, this study is the mountain’s own study. The mountains, without altering their own body and mind, with their own mountain countenance, have always been circling back to study themselves.We encounter circles throughout this path of practice. As I said above, I circle back to sesshin regularly. Many of you have the experience of circling back to this practice of zazen-meditation. The study of the mountains and rivers sutra is a circling back to a teaching I have practiced with for over a decade. What do you find yourself circling back to in your practice-life? As we enter the season of Spring, what is beginning again for you? How are you circling back to yourself? This circling back to study ourselves is one of the core instructions for zazen practice—to recognize our original self, the unborn buddha mind. Listen to the Dharma talk for more explorations of this teaching in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra. I reference the chant-able version of the Mountains and Waters Sutra which you can find here.Below is a poem inspired by the practice of circling.Mountains Circling Back to Realize Themselves Circle back study yourself Who are you? What hears? Who is breathing this breath? What feels the heart beating, the touch of clothing, longing, aspiration? Circle back and listen to yourself What is your heart’s song? Do you know the compassion that you are? Are you in touch with this aspiration to awaken, to liberate all beings? What is the shape of your vow? What is the size of your heart? Can you see that it truly includes the entire world? Circle back and be yourself See that you too are mountain, and flowing You were never born, you will not die Circle back and love yourself For you are dying, too Wonder at this Self This miracle that you are Let yourself be amazed By this life you live Appreciate the challenges, the joys, all the happenings That make you — you Circle back, greet yourself For you are ancestor Parent, protector, caregiver, teacher, friend, guide To this earth, your family, community, all beings And you are also child A student of life, learning, being guided, protected Cared for by this earth, and all your inter-relations Circle back and meet yourself As you are born, from the stone woman From the dark Even as you age You are new Like spring Like a flower budding Circle back home to yourself Rest In the vast openness Of your original Heart-mind Always right hereBecoming Circle What must relax in you To become a circle? What assumptions made about who we are and why we are here Must dissolve So that feet can walk back towards head as ground rises up To meet the sky We who once stood erect in the middle Like pillar or tree Like mountain Now find ourselves Turning inside-out Walking backward as we move forward Being planet Or globe Flower Or mandala Or something else entirely Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonLight of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryGrasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow

I will be joining the Mud Lotus Sangha in West Virginia for our first sesshin of the year. Sesshin is now often translated as a Zen-style meditation retreat. But the words meditation and retreat are mis-leading. It is in its truest sense a practice of recognizing our true nature, of touching, encountering the heart-mind that abides everywhere.We are going to the mountains of West Virginia to practice. Stepping back into Mountain time to learn from the mountains, waters and great earth. To be students to the world before thought, which continues to blossom in the midst of all our human-made problems.Preparing for sesshin is like preparing for death.It is preparing for the unknown, for encountering the mystery. It is a practice and path of discovering who and what we are when we aren’t engaging constantly in the impulses and desires of modern life—with its near endless supply of surface level distractions and pleasures—that often keep us from encountering the deep questions and true satisfaction of our being.During sesshin we will be exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. And we are also taking up this sutra on Monday nights, as part of the Monday Night Dharma teaching offered weekly on zoom (more info below).It is a beautiful teaching that scholars, ecologists, practitioners, artists, mystics, activists, poets have turned to over the centuries for inspiration on this path of being human, of living awake to our deep interconnection with all beings.So for the next couple months, we will be walking in the mountains together. We will be journeying in Mountain Time, studying the teachings of mountains and waters and how they are relevant in our own lives as modern, urban, technological beings. One of my questions is, can the teachings of mountains and waters, the teachings in this sutra and other teachings we find throughout buddhism about mountains—can they meet us in this current moment? Can they meet us here in what feels apocalyptic? What do the mountains and waters have to teach us about hope/fear, gain/loss, life/death, awakening/delusion, joy, compassion, equanimity, freedom and how to live together on this earth or even in this cosmos?The first line of the sutra says:These mountains and rivers right now are an actualization of the ancient buddha way.Pay attention to the mountains and waters, they are teaching us, they are the expression of the awakened ones, they are the way!People throughout cultures and traditions regard the mountains as sacred, regard the natural world as sacred— as teachers, as expressions-embodiments of our true nature. Mountains are mythic and evoke the spirit. They are often personified as spirit beings, praised, worshiped and prayed to. Many mountains are pilgrimage sites, temples were built on them, ceremonies are conducted on them. To live on the mountains, is to live with the mountains, to simplify—to be humbled and vulnerable in the mountains presence.To take up mountains and waters as sutra, is to encounter this ancient way of being, is to connect with our ancestors, is to connect with the Earth as ancestor and realize our deep inter-being with all of life.Are we willing to humble ourselves before the mountains and waters?Are we willing to hear their teachings?What kind of listening is required—to encounter earth as ancestor, lover, friend, mother, as the way, the path, true nature itself?Are we willing to abide in mountain time, to open to the deep time, presence and pace of mountains?Can we do this as modern people? Is this teaching relevant to us as people who are intertwined with technology and the creature comforts of urban life? What might we have to change, give-up, surrender or open to? Is it possible to study the sutra of mountains and rivers, right here—in our daily lives?Throughout the study and practice of reading this sutra, contemplating it and putting it into practice—we will encounter these questions and more. We will get to experience a new appreciation for what the mountains and waters are, how they are teachers, buddhas, and the way.The first paragraph of the sutra says:Mountains and waters right now are the actualization of the ancient Buddha way. Each, abiding in its phenomenal expression, realizes completeness. Because mountains and waters have been active since before the Empty Eon, they are alive at this moment. Because they have been the self since before form arose they are emancipation-realization.And I will leave it there for today. Listen to the podcast episode for more and join us tomorrow as we dive deeper into the sutra and the practice of mountain-walking. Feel free to share any comments or thoughts below!Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonLight of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great

Greetings Friends,This past weekend I had the opportunity to join the Pause Meditation community for a deep dive into practice around the theme of the beginner’s mind. In the Zen tradition we celebrate the beginner’s mind. For it is both the unborn buddha mind— our original mind which is always right here and our curious, open mind that is constantly being born anew. So very much like the energy of spring, life is constantly bubbling up, recreating itself, blossoming in our awareness. “In every adult there is a child – an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the human personality which wants to develop and become whole.” —Carl JungThis podcast episode is a recording of the talk I gave about the Beginner’s Mind to the Pause Meditation Community and below is a guided meditation on recognizing the unborn buddha mind, the mind at home in itself.Also, in celebration and praise of the one who is always being born (tomorrow is my birthday) and to the unborn buddha mind in us all—I wanted to share a fairy tale I wrote. Fairy tales, folklore, myths and stories have been with us throughout human history. I find that they invite us into the mystery, as they attempt to story and image that which we can’t explain. They can leave us open to a world ensouled and to the inexplicable nature of reality.I’ve always appreciated that two folktales are included in the Mumonkan, one of the more popular collections of Zen koans and teaching stories. Like koans and dreams, fairytales invite us to consider all the characters, animals and landscape as our mind, as the various manifestations of one psyche.Happy Birthday, may you enjoy this tale and the great dream of this life!Also, starting tonight during the Monday Night Dharma practice we will be exploring the Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Dogen Zenji. I have some curiosity about practicing with this sutra during this seemingly apocalyptic time on the planet. How can the teachings of Mountains and Rivers and the unborn Buddha Mind meet us in this moment? What happens when we bring all our doubts, fears, confusions, grief, longings, etc. to this sutra & to our practice?the girl, the magician and the great tree (a fairy tale)Once upon a time there was a forest and in that forest there was a girl. The girl loved the forest and the forest loved the girl. By day the sun shone brightly, and she herself was radiant, she paraded with the panthers and lounged with the lions. At night the stars became her blanket and she dreamed vivid colorful dreams. She always felt safe and protected in her forest home.Time passed and the girl grew older. Her body started to change and with that change the forest seemed to change too. Parts of the forest grew dark. She often heard strange sounds, bad sounds, sounds that no being should ever hear—coming from those shadows.The girl started to feel fear and spent more time by herself. One misty morning as the girl was walking alone, a magician appeared from the shadows and greeted her. He told her he was on a journey to find the Great Tree, as he was hoping to make a prayer so that he may gather its fruit as medicine for his ailing mother, who was sick at home with night terrors.The girl once knew the Great Tree well. It was the place in the forest she first called home. Its bark was like the ocean, its roots ran through the entire forest and its fruit was splendid, every imaginable food and medicine grew from its branches. She and the animals would eat its fruit, and take its medicine whenever they were sick or injured. The Great Tree always provided them with all they could ever need.She wanted to help the boy find the Tree she loved so much. But she couldn’t remember where it was. Every path once led to the Great Tree, but now they all seemed to end in the shadows. Suddenly it hit her that she didn’t know where she was. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had been to the Great Tree.Instinctively, she reached into her pocket to touch the two golden seeds she kept there. Instead of providing comfort and clarity, as they usually did, she fell into a deep sleep. The magician took the golden seeds from her hands and immediately knew the way to the Great Tree.When the girl finally awoke she realized her golden seeds were gone. These were all she had from the Great Tree. It was like her whole life was being stolen from her, and she was left in the darkest of dark places.Then, a raven appeared and lifted the girl up by her shoulders, flying her deeper into the dark. Before the girl knew what was happening the raven cawed three times and released her. There she was face to face with an opening door and a huntsman.“You knocked?” Said the huntsman. “Well I did, and I didn’t” responded the girl.The huntsman liked this answer and he invited her to come in, as he was just about to fix his morning coffee and toast, and thought she might like to join h

I wanted to share with you a profound, beautiful and somewhat unsettling teaching from the Diamond Sutra.I would say its unsettling precisely because it is so radical, it touches something true that we know at the core of who we are, and it also reminds us that everything we think we are or think the world is —is not the whole story, our thinking inevitably misses something.we are inconceivable in our nature—and we all have, the same bright, clear, open, ungraspable heart-mind.here’s the verse from the diamond sutra, may you practice its profundity and dwell in the mystery of being.the world is not what we name it or think it, and there is no enduring thing that is self or other, each object and being in this fleeting world is like:A star at dawnA bubble in a streamA flash of lightning in a summer stormA flickering flameA wisp of smokeA dreamlisten to the podcast for a deeper exploration of the teachings from the diamond sutra.until next time,kiseiWeekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKOnline Meditative Deep Dive with Pause MeditationBeginner’s Mind Saturday March 7th from 10A PT/1P ET - 11:30A PT/2:30P ETIn-Person in OregonLight of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryGrasses, Trees and the Great Earth—In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters SutraDuring this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

dust returns to dust earth to earth mind always at home in itself where does it return?This past week I was reflecting on the 6th Chan Ancestor, Huineng and his encounter with a verse from the diamond sutra.Huineng lost his father early in life, and supported himself and his mother by selling firewood. On one occasion, he was selling firewood to a customer, and someone passed by chanting the words of the diamond sutra.Huineng heard a single line and was profoundly moved—it touched something in him and his heart was opened.He managed to stop the person who was chanting to inquire as to what the origin of the verse was and found out that it was from the diamond sutra, and a teacher in a distant part of the country was encouraging their students to chant this sutra.For Huineng, this was a “call to adventure moment.” He knew he needed to meet this teacher, which meant leaving his current life. For Huineng, this worked out. He was able to find someone to care for his mom, and he set out on a difficult journey to meet this unknown teacher.I feel like this story is relatable. Has something like this ever happened to you? Have you ever heard a phrase from a song, poem, a prayer or a teaching and it touched you profoundly? It stoped you. Perhaps caused you to find out the source of the words, or left you on a quest to discover who wrote it? what book was it from? These moments can take us on an adventure of discovery. But also, more importantly—the words themselves touched something that is beyond words. They often wake us up to the immediacy, the intimacy of this life.Sometimes this happens with words from a chant or prayer we recite regularly, or have heard often. One day, they feel imbued with a new kind of meaning.This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, and the words: remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return—have been with me. I remember the first time the profundity of that simple phrase really got in—I was an adult and my grandfather had just passed away.I got interested this year in the practice of lent, and read the lenten gospel from Matthew, where Jesus is speaking about prayer. He is reminding his disciples that prayer isn’t about being seen doing something great, or making some big sacrifice—but perhaps the most genuine prayer is secret, a private affair between one’s self and the great mystery.We live in a time in the world where we share intimate details of our lives on social media platforms. There isn’t anything inherently wrong about this, but I got interested in the invitation towards a secret life of prayer or meditation. I think we long for an intimacy with ourselves and the universe—the great mystery, that can’t be displayed or need not be. That gets to be hidden, secret, kept close.I had a dream recently on this theme. In the dream I was given a bright green folder and told to always keep it close. When I explored what was in the folder there was a roll of masking tape, a book I wrote in kindergarten about a tree named Fred, and vast emptiness.I was left opened to the unnameable absence—roaring silence, pure potentiality.In this task of being human, in this life’s work of discovering our true nature—words, stories, images, dreams and symbols can serve as pointers, but we all will encounter the mystery of this life for ourselves.Dharma practice invites nearness. What are you keeping close? What practices allow you to stay with your inner-most heart? To stay with your self moment-to-moment? To stay close to the vows you wish to live by?This on-going commitment to awakening is something that for most of us operates in secret, its that inner orientation, remembering ourselves back to ourselves, recognizing what is nearest.I got curious about what Huineng actually heard and so did some research to find the passage from the Diamond Sutra. Below is Steven Mitchell’s translation for the last paragraph of Chapter 10 of the Diamond Sutra.Here is what is essential: All Bodhisattvas should develop a pure, lucid mind that doesn’t depend upon sight, sound, taste, touch, smell or any thought that arises in it. A bodhisattva should develop a mind that abides nowhere.Another way this is translated is a bodhisattva should develop mind at home with itself. What is this heart-mind that doesn’t depend on thoughts or the senses, that abides nowhere, everywhere, all at once. Always at home.Andrew Holecek in his book Preparing to Die, says that this practice of recognizing the mind that abides nowhere, is the best practice to do to prepare for death—for when the body returns to the earth, the senses cease—the mind of awakening continues—at home in itself.The audio portion of this post is mainly a dharma talk on the Diamond Sutra. I reference both Steven Mitchell’s translation and Red Pine’s translation. You can find Red Pine’s translation here.I’m excited to be co-creating space this Spring and Summer for in-person sesshin/meditation retreats. As well as online immersions with Pause Meditation. See below for

A lotus blooming in the fire is an image that comes from the Zen tradition. And before I write further on the symbolism of the image or the dharma teachings it evokes—I would like to invite us to just sit with the image of a lotus blooming in the fire.For a moment, let yourself sense, imagine or feel into this image. Notice what you see, feel, hear, experience as you attempt to connect with the image of a lotus blooming in the fire. Now, if you haven’t already bring the image closer in. Sit as, be a lotus blooming in the fire.And stay with it for some time allowing associations, feelings, meanings, sensations to come and go. Returning simply to being a lotus in the fire.When you are ready, you can let the image dissolve.I am curious to hear what you noticed, what happened as you sat with or as a lotus blooming in the fire?The Power of Embodied ImaginationTo meditate with an image like this, is one form that koan practice can take in the Zen tradition. You sit with an image, becoming the image and learning about it through your direct experience. Notice how an image can contain seeming paradoxes. How can a lotus bloom in fire? Wouldn’t it burn? And yet, here it is.On Wednesday, in Columbus we did this practice with my local sangha Mud Lotus. We sat as lotuses blooming in the fire. People noticed different things about this dynamic of fire and blooming. Someone pointed out that a lotus isn’t trying to stop the fire, yet it is blooming there. Another said that it seemed like the lotus bloomed because of the fire. Others saw the lotus as a reminder of their own nature that isn’t burned in the fires of life.This image was popularized by the great Chan teacher of 11th Century China, Yuan-Wu. He used it to refer to the practice of what he called, Householder Bodhisattvas. Those of us whose practice-awakening happens in the fires of this world, in the challenges of our relationships, in our own inner conflicts or difficulties.How to be a householder bodhisattva, it requires a stand that is solid and true and faith that is thoroughgoing…When bodhisattvas who live a householder’s life cultivate the practices of deep meditation and insight, it is like a lotus blooming in the fire. It will always be hard to tame the will for fame and rank and power and position, not to mention all the myriad starting points of vexation and turmoil associated with the burning house of worldly existence. The only way is for you yourself to realize your fundamental, real wondrous wholeness and reach the stage of great calm, stability and rest. —Yuan-wuThich Nhat Hanh also used this image in his first book published in English, Vietnam: A Lotus in the Sea of Fire: A Buddhist Proposal for Peace. What are the Fires in your Life?Fire in the Buddhist tradition can be a symbol of suffering in all its manifestations. From the collective forms of suffering that appear as war, violence, injustice, conflict, misuse of power to the more personal forms of suffering that appear as anxiety, worry, terror, fear, shame, physical discomfort, pain.Fire can also be a symbol of the instability of all experience, the changing nature of everyone and everything—in Buddhism we call this impermanence.Suffering and impermanence are two of the marks of existence. A teaching the buddha gave about the nature of experience—basically reminding us that suffering and change are part of life. In the Buddhist teachings, liberation or freedom from suffering is not the absence of pain, violence, fear, change, anxiety, etc. —but is found in the midst of these fires, or whatever fires we find ourselves in.A Lotus Blooms in a Sea of FireWhich brings us to the image of the lotus.The lotus is a symbol of wholeness, it is an image of our true nature—which is always present, reliable, unbreakable yet soft—the blossoming of wisdom and compassion.To realize our buddha nature does not make the fires of our lives go away, it doesn’t mean that the fires in the world stop burning.Awakening is being the lotus blooming in the fire.Its having this refuge of love unconditioned, of spacious awareness, unbreakable kindness in every situation—even as our heart’s break, even as we feel at times like we are falling apart.The lotus of our true nature blooms— even here, even now.Even without our noticing the lotus blooms. Part of what dharma practice is all about is training to recognize the lotus of our true nature, which at times may mean finding ways to nurture and care for our practice in the midst of these world fires.Practicing with others whether it is in-person or online is a way to strengthen this refuge, to recognize for ourselves the lotus that doesn’t burn-up in the fires of stress, overwhelm, fear and all the other forms suffering can take in our lives and in this world.Listen to the dharma talk for a more in-depth discussion of the Lotus in the Fire, and Yuan-wu’s teaching on How to be a Householder Bodhisattva.I’m excited to be co-creating space this Spring and Summer for in-person s

Greetings Friends,I have been reflecting on one of the simplest and perhaps most profound teachings in the Buddhist tradition— the teaching of our extra-ordinary heart. Our extra-ordinary heart is the aspect of our being that doesn’t die, and isn’t born. That isn’t dependent on us but is a deep refuge and resource—one that we know and rely on all the time. One that we also see demonstrated and embodied in our communities, on the world stage, in the people we love and care about. We are living in a time in this country that feels like we are going backward in many respects. Where state-enforced violence has entered our communities, and families are being separated, detained and deported at an unprecedented rate. While our human hearts break, fear, grieve, feel deeply, love and desire—which is beautiful and painful, and part of what makes this experience of being human.We, together, have an extra-ordinary heart—that is boundless in it’s nature and is always abiding right here. This heart isn’t separate from the very experience of being human, it is intrinsic to our nature. So we too can practice recognizing and abiding in this heart. We too can embody these qualities and let them manifest in our lives and the world.The Buddha taught that our boundless heart has Four Qualities of Boundlessness, also called the Four Divine AbodesBoundless Love/Kindness — which is a friendliness toward existence, agape or universal love, the love of Jesus Christ or Amitabha Buddha or other such figures who love unconditionallyBoundless Compassion — is a responsiveness to suffering in self or other which can have many different qualities(protective, patient, nurturing/gentle, strategic, discerning, creative, clear, resourceful)In the Zen tradition we have a story about boundless compassion. It involves two brothers walking down the road together, and one says to the other, “what do you think the bodhisattva of great compassion does with all of their hands and eyes?” To which the other brother replies, “it’s like reaching back in the middle of the night for a pillow.” Compassion is responsive; and takes many forms—so we have this image of a being with ten-thousand arms and hands. In each hand there is a different expression of compassion. So sometimes compassion looks fierce, it’s saying no to violence, it’s standing up for what we care about, other times its gentle, it’s grieving together, or care-taking each other, it can be protective, immediate, systematic and strategic.Boundless Joy — playfulness/spontaneity of being-realityI think we have a meme in our culture, “if you are happy you aren’t paying attention.” But play and creativity have always been part of the resistance, we find the trickster archetype in myths throughout human cultures. We find it throughout spiritual traditions as well from the play/spontaneity of the zen koans to the poetry of the mystics like hafiz, cold mountain and la ded. There is a lot of play, joy and creativity happening in the protests in Minneapolis right now.But boundless joy also speaks to being happy for no good reason, causeless happiness. It’s wonderful to experience the joy of simply being alive. No one can take that away from us.Boundless Peace/Equanimity — this is the wisdom of the deep equality or oneness of all things. Perhaps the hardest to conceive of, because it’s like the peace and presence of the sky. The sky simply allows all forms of weather to move through it, clouds, heavy rains, snow, tornadoes, planes, birds, sunsets all happen in the spaciousness of the sky. The sky simply allows.Our true nature is like the sky. Open, unhindered, allowing, at peace.These four boundless qualities are always abiding in our Extra Ordinary Heart that we call them the divine abodes.We too can abide here.Many people find that through recognizing equanimity the other boundless qualities source forth. They contain each other. And I invite you to explore this for yourself, which qualities feel most familiar? Which are more difficult for you to recognize? How are the four related to each other in your experience?One practice I like to do for connecting with the extra-ordinary-heart is to pay attention to or recognize these qualities as they appear or manifest in my life. So I invite you this week to notice kindness/love, compassion, joy and peace/equanimity. Notice when you experience these qualities, and linger with them, let yourself affirm that they abide in your innermost heart.And also notice when someone else is embodying these qualities, notice them in the natural world, in your community, at work, in the animals you cohabitate with.Another way I connect with the extra-ordinary-heart is I collect poems, art, songs, images that embody these qualities.Here is a favorite. Kindness by Naomi Shihab NyeKindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully sa

Greetings Friends,In the heartbreak, pain, confusion of this moment. I wish to remember together the Way of the Bodhisattva. The image or archetype of the Bodhisattva resonates deep in the hearts of those oriented towards love for this beautiful and broken world.For a Bodhisattva is motivated to relieve suffering and pain, as they work towards a liberation for all beings. This is the spiritual warrior, who knows that this life is not our own but a shared life.Practice of a bodhisattva is a practice of compassion which has two important dimensions Boundless Compassion or Absolute Compassion and Engaged Compassion or Relative Compassion.Boundless Compassion is a view we can practice and eventually realize. It’s something we sense or know, without thinking. Boundless Compassion reminds us that compassion is our nature. That nothing need be done because it is already so.The spacious, clear source of our being gives rise to compassionate activity. Without needing to think about it, we respond, we care for others. Our heart is inseparable from all that appears in awareness.This body-heart-mind is an organ of compassion.Is the expression of compassion.Is the vehicle of compassion.There is nothing we need to do make it this way.We practice recognizing and trusting our innate compassion in meditation on and off the cushion.Engaged Compassion is the practice of cultivating compassion through our living. Shantideva in his treatise on The Way of the Bodhisattva invokes the aspirational spirit of compassionate service through this heart-felt prayer. Below is an excerpt, in the original Shantideva goes on and on, connecting to this deep intention to offer himself and is practice for the liberation of all beings.Shantideva’s Way of the BodhisattvaFor all those ailing in the world, Until their every sickness has been healed, May I myself become for them The doctor, nurse, the medicine itself. Raining down a flood of food and drink, May I dispel the ills of thirst and famine. And in the aeons marked by scarcity and want. May I myself appear as drink and sustenance. For sentient beings, poor and destitute, May I become a treasure ever-plentiful, And lie before them closely in their reach, A varied source of all that they might need. My body, thus, and all my goods besides, And all my merits gained and to be gained, I give them all and do not count the cost, To bring about the benefit of beings.My dharma brother Soten Danney Lynch wrote a rendition of Shantideva’s prayer that we would sing at the monastery. You can listen here.I share this prayer because it can invoke in us the spirit of offering, of recognizing our life as a shared life and awaken in us a deeper connection to the compassion at the heart of our being.I also want to share a teaching called the Five Compassions that can help us connect to a sustainable, joyful and wise compassionate response in our living. The Buddha warned that the near-enemy of compassion is pity. Others have pointed out that empathy, righteousness, and trying to be good out of guilt, or a sense of inadequacy can sometimes feel like compassion but often lead to burn-out, fatigue and resentment.The Five Compassions of Engaged CompassionWise/Curious Compassion—grounded in the experience of interconnection. A response coming from discernment and deep listening.Fierce/Courageous Compassion—a response aimed to protect self or others, this could include boundary setting, speaking up or acting in a way that even risks one’s own safety to protect anotherPatient/Calm Compassion—slow, steady, showing up for something or someone we care about or believe in. The longview in bodhisattva language that we will work to help all beings find liberation lifetime after lifetime. A recognition that true, deep, sustaining change often takes time.Joyful/Content Compassion—activity that is nourishing for us and brings us joy or contentment, in Hakomi they use the phrase non-egocentric nourishment to talk about this qualityUnified/Confident Compassion—in alignment with our vows, values, capacitiesUsually all or most of these qualities need to be present in order for our response to feel sustainable and genuine. Compassion is directionless sometimes our compassionate response is directed towards ourselves, and sometimes towards others—is there a difference?Upcoming Retreats and Weekly Drop-in EventsWeekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonLight of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Budd

New Years Blessings! And wow, it feels like its off to a chaotic start. In times like these, I find it vital to ground myself in this bodhisattva vow. To remember what is always reliable, no matter what circumstance or situation I find myself in.I would like to share a koan that has been close to my heart as we began 2026.Mumonkan Case 46: Stepping from the Top of the PoleSekiso asked: How do you step from atop a 100-ft pole?Another eminent master from former times said:You who sit on the top of the 100-ft pole,Although you have entered the Way, it is not yet genuine.Take a step from on top of the poleAnd worlds of the ten directions are your total body.So many koans use images from our everyday lives. Images we are familiar with. These images can become mindfulness bells. Sensory reminders that speak the language of awakening.Here we have a tall pole. A one hundred foot pole. These are the poles of large flags, like the one in the Perkins parking lot I remember growing up. Any large pole will do though. I have been noticing power line poles. Actually just today the power company came and ascended the thirty foot power pole right across from my office window.So, let me ask. Have you ever been on top of a one hundred foot pole?What about metaphorically?The analogy of being on top of a one hundred foot pole can apply to any place, any belief or habit pattern that we get attached to or stuck in. These are the beliefs, attitudes, experiences, thoughts that keep us at a distance from our lives. Essentially it boils down to the ways we contract around the belief in a separate self. How we feel separate, not good enough, alone, exiled, bad and feed that separation. How we attach to certain beliefs, views or vantage points about ourselves and the world.There is something familiar or even comforting about the beliefs we hold on to about ourselves and the world. But also something deeply uncomfortable—like trying to live on top of a hundred foot pole. We fear falling to our deaths, so we get used to the small, and unstable precipice of our thoughts and beliefs.What are the poles that you sit on top of? How did you get up here?Practice is always inviting us to find these places where we separate —where we defend, withdraw, space-out, get anxious, cling, where we over-think—and get curious about them. Curiosity is a practice of nearness.It’s a commitment to stay with ourselves in our direct experience even if it is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Even if parts of us believe that it will be our end, it will be the fall to our deaths.Enter the FoolThis koan evokes for me the spirit of the Fool card in the Tarot. Someone at home in the mystery—resourceful, responsive and playful. Someone initiated into the wisdom of emptiness. Who has turned themselves inside out and recognize that this whole world is their true body!These are qualities that we often associate with Zen sages and bodhisattvas. These are qualities we are awakening in our own practice.As we enter this New Year, I aspire to come back to zero. To recognize the poles of beliefs, attitudes, fears that I am perched on. And to dare to take the next brave step.Sometimes this is plunging feet first into the unknown, often it is more subtle. Like bringing gentle curiosity to that feeling of stinginess, to the trembling in the heart, to the ways you withdraw or start over-thinking. What is happening here? How can you stay connected to yourself in the aliveness of this experience?We are like this fool-bodhisattva-sage—at home in the mystery, at home in ourselves. May we actualize our playfulness, our resourcefulness and responsiveness this year. May we appreciate the dream. And live from the expansiveness of our true Self.Take a step from on top of the poleAnd worlds of the ten directions are your total body.Upcoming Retreat and Weekly Drop-in EventsWeekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Save the Dates!2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in W

When faith and mind are not separate. And not separate are mind and faith, this is beyond all words, all thoughts.If you have been reading these posts this season, you may have noticed I have been writing about Faith. Writing, reflecting, wondering, wandering through the many expressions of Faith as I returned again and again to this practice poem, Affirming Faith in Mind. There is something both delicious and challenging about coming back to the same teaching, day after day, week by week.Above is the last stanza of the poem. The study of this poem has been part of an autumn practice period I was participating in. The practice period wound down this week, as autumn too is unwinding —turning into winter on Sunday with the solstice.The autumn in the Northern Hemisphere is a time when the daylight hours grow shorter, and night extends her dark embrace. I have found it deeply nourishing to practice and study faith as the earth darkens. It feels seasonally appropriate to contemplate faith as the comfort of the sun’s light and heat diminish. The zodiacal sign Sagittarius, which is where the sun is during this time of year, is often associated with faith, that flickering candlelight that we find in many windows this season. Sagittarius season also is a season of alchemy, art—the ways in which we find light, hope, faith, beauty in the dark.Whatever ways you have been walking through the dark this season or this year, I’m curious how it has offered opportunities for transformation, for unknowing, for faith to deepen in mystery’s obscure light.I offer the questions below, as a bit of a memory walk for the season. Feel free to contemplate them, through journaling, mindfulness or creative expression.* What aspects of life have felt loud during this last season? What has been tugging on your heart? Occupying your time/life energy/mind space? This could be more archetypal energies or particular challenges, inspirations, tasks, questions, inquiries.* Have there been particular moods, inner voices, thought patterns, somatic experiences that have been more present during this season?* What resources (inner or outer), practices, teachings, rituals have you been turning towards or taking refuge in? This could include verses from Affirming Faith in Mind.* Where/how do you feel supported? Is there a person, ancestor, friend, familiar, animal, bodhisattva, dream figure who has been an ally?* As we enter this period of the Solstice and return of the light/holiday season—What is the thread of practice you intend to connect to?As a way of honoring the end to the season and the study I have been engaged with around Faith. I wrote this poem. It’s an exploration of how faith has flickered during these autumn months. How it shows up in the ordinary moments of my living. It’s a practice inquiry I intend to carry. A thread through these holiday weeks and into the new year.I’d love to hear your responses to the reflections or a poem that has been lighting your way during these autumn months.Faith Mind PoemWhat is faith? I ask my hands They reach down and pick-up the cap to the oat milk that has started rolling down the kitchen floor fingers, wrapping around the cool, wet plastic releasing, they scratch an itch before returning lid to carton opening the refrigerator door All day long they touch They hold, open, prepare, grip, make, reach Recover Always in contact Responding before I can--- What is faith? I ask the lilac Whose gnarled branches Hold the frozen white, crystalline snow Not a single leaf remains Roots entangled with icy earth We breathe together, my breath Becoming wood, branch, trunk We do not speak But sit in each other’s silence Faith perhaps does not need A definition Words to explain it, no essay nor poem For it lives in us constantly Even as everything else appears to be resting Fallow, dark Faith glimmers in the empty space In this heart, in its waiting Upcoming Retreat and Weekly Drop-in EventsWeekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Monday Dec 22nd we will meditate in the dark and by candlelight in celebration of the winter solstice.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangh

Tis’ the season for story-telling. I don’t know about you, but there are certain stories I can hear over and over again. These stories often have mythic and archetypal elements, that seem to resonate with the poetics of the soul.In the Zen Buddhist tradition the first week of December is the week we commemorate/remember/celebrate the Buddha’s awakening. We do this with our bodies. Sitting retreat with the orientation that we too can realize our true nature. That we too can awaken.We do this with our hearts and minds. Reading, listening, contemplating the elements of the Buddha’s story, which is mythic in nature. And as we hear the story of the Buddha we are reminded of our own path—that awakening is possible for us and that it is unfolding right here, in this precious life.Below I will share a brief sketch of the Buddha’s story. Please listen to the talk if you want to hear a more fleshed out version. Of course, like all stories, this one changes every time it is told. There actually isn’t any recorded biography of the Buddha in the Pali Cannon, we have some references he makes to his journey and scholars/practitioners have worked to put them together in a cohesive narrative. In this telling, I am choosing the elements that have resonated with me on my own path. I am appreciating how the Buddha’s story has elements of the hero’s journey as well as important dharma teachings.Maha Maya’s DreamThe story begins with a dream. Maha Maya, whose name means illusion, dreams one night that she is taken to the mountains by four spirit beings. She is then bathed, anointed with oils, perfumes and flowers. A white elephant appears, circles her three times and pierces her side with his six tusks. She awakens from the dream knowing that she is pregnant with a son.When she tells her husband, King Suddhodana, about the dream he invites the town seer to interpret it. The seer confirms that Maha Maya is indeed pregnant with a son and that he will be either a great king or the founder of a new religion.Upon hearing this prophesy, King Suddhodana decides to make his son’s life so comfortable that he will never want to leave the palace.So Siddaratha Gotma (the Buddha) is born, and lives a sheltered life. He describes it in one sutta, saying:I, lived in refinement, utmost refinement, total refinement. My father even had lotus ponds made in our palace: one where red-lotuses bloomed, one where white lotuses bloomed, one where blue lotuses bloomed, all for my sake… A white sunshade was held over me day & night to protect me from cold, heat, dust, dirt, & dew.Disillusionment with a Protected Life/The Four SightsEventually Siddhartha becomes a young man and one night he wakes before dawn after a party at the palace. He looks around and feels a bit disgusted by what he sees, bodies strewn around, sleeping, smelling of alcohol and sex—from having indulged in all forms of pleasure the night before. His heart questions what he is doing, what kind of life he is living.After this experience, he feels like he needs to see what is beyond the palace walls. So he enlists his charioteer to take him into the town. While they are there Siddhartha sees what has become known as the four sights. He sees someone who is ill, sick crying out in pain. He sees some who is old, hunched over, skin full of wrinkles and he sees a corpse. With each sight, he feels disgust and curiosity. A knowing arises in him that this will also happen to him. He too will age, become ill and die. He becomes disillusioned by his current state of health, youth and life. For what is the point in indulging in the pleasures of health, youth and life, if you are ignoring the truths of sickness, old age and death. Something about this experience really starts to way heavy in his heart, and fill him with great doubt.Then he sees the fourth sight, a renunciate sitting serenely under a tree. He is touched by the look of contentment on this person’s face. Something in him knows that there is a path to realizing a contentment that is beyond sensual pleasures, that one could know freedom, love and joy that wasn’t dependent on conditions.Leaving His Father’s HouseHe knows he has to leave his father’s house. It isn’t an easy decision. One I imagine he tries to ignore, but his doubt and curiosity grow stronger and stronger. In one telling of the story, his wife Yasodhara has eight dreams about the path he needs to take, and so encourages him to go. Before he leaves, they make love and conceive a son.Then Siddhartha shaves his head, puts on the ochre robes of a renunciant and begins the nomadic life of a home-leaver. He meets two teachers, studies with them for years and eventually masters their teachings. But finds that their dharma leads him into deep states of concentration, but does not bring him to liberation. So he eventually leaves them, even though they urge him to teach with them. He then meets five wandering ascetics and starts practicing austerities. He tries to suppress thought, st

I want to return to this profound poem we are studying for the autumn practice period—Affirming Faith in Mind.If mind does not discriminate, all things are as they are as one. To go to this mysterious source—frees us from all entanglements.When all is seen with equal mind, to our self-nature we return. This single mind goes right beyond all reasons and comparison.This poem is about Trust in Mind, Faith in our true nature, Trust in the Heart of WisdomDo we trust our heart-mind?Do you have faith in the nature of your own mind? Your own heart?This poem is a “pointing out” style teaching. Stanza by stanza, line by line—it’s pointing to the Mind beyond thought. It’s inviting us to recognize who we are beyond our strategies of defending, protecting, judging, identifying.We too can know ourselves as mystery.We too can know the source of all experience.There is encouragement and support to turn towards the apparent source of our suffering, and really look into its nature. To experience for ourselves the freedom, spaciousness, clarity and love of our nature. Right, here.Dahui in one of his letters addresses a student’s concern that he is dull, and his dullness is preventing him from realizing his true nature.Dahui responds:That which perceives dullness is certainly not dull itself…indeed you should use your very dullness in order to enter the Way. However, if you identify with dullness and regard yourself as incapable by nature of awakening, you will find yourself caught by the demon of dullness.As I see it, in our ordinary way of seeing things we tend to let the desire for awakening get ahead of us and thus turn it into an obstacle preventing our true understanding from manifesting. But this obstacle is neither outside ourselves nor separate from ourselves—it is none other than the Master perceiving itself as “dull.”For this reason everyday Ruiyan Shiyan would call to himself, “Master!” He would then answer himself, “Yes!” “Be wide awake!” he would say, and again answer himself, “Yes!” Then he would say, “Whatever the time, whatever the day, never be misled by others!” “Yes! Yes!” Try examining this in your own way. The one who asks, what is this? is none other than the one who perceives dullness. And the one who perceives dullness is none other than your own True Self.Whether it is dullness, distraction, anger, fear. Whatever we habitually identify with and appears to block our path. What happens when we turn our attention toward the one who is aware of this apparent block? The “master” or True Self is always at home.We are invited to recognize this always present awareness, for ourselves, in our own lives.Freedom and love. Always right here.We are entering the last weeks of this calendar year. Can we use this time to reconnect with our aspiration? To recognize the true self, and not be misled by others.And to also appreciate the season of practice we are in. There are times where we are actually developing our discernment, our discriminating mind. Some of us are learning to trust ourselves, to stand in our karma, to take responsibility for our lives.Part of Trust in Mind, is having the courage to take action, to follow the call when it arises. For some of us the call may take you to a monastery or into a period of inquiry and spiritual investigation. For others it may have more to do with how you are showing up in your lives, or it may be about healing, or responding to a relational challenge. I know some of you are sitting in the question and are listening for the next step. That’s part of this path too—I listened for 7 years before I had clarity, courage, conviction and life circumstances to move to the monastery. I am listening now for the next step on this path, as I continue to deepen my practice and develop new skills.Do not be deceived by others. I love this line. For many of us, it is a worthwhile practice to say this to ourselves, regularly. Who are these others? The thoughts in our own minds, the ones that are always comparing ourselves to someone else. What happens when we fully embrace this life? When we live our wisdom? When we honor our limitations, our karmic inheritance—and live the life we have?Tomorrow is Bodhi Day and I will be offering a telling of the Buddha’s awakening story. We will explore the hero’s journey in the Buddha’s story and see how elements of the Buddha’s path are part of our own journey’s. Join for the Monday Night dharma to hear this talk!I am also co-facilitating an exploration of the Astrology of the Winter Solstice with the Jung Association of Central Ohio this Saturday December 13th with Shawn Casey at the Burkhart Chapel.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Monday Dec 8th we will explore the Buddha’s awakening story!Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a prac

One stanza from the Trust in Heart poem says:Cut off all useless thoughts and words and there’s nowhere you cannot go.Returning to the root itself, you’ll find the meaning of all things.If you pursue appearances you overlook the primal source.Awakening is to go beyond both emptiness as well as form.I appreciate the clarity of these instructions. Here we find an invitation to practice with our thinking minds. I find that this instruction to “cut off” is more of an invitation to see through or into the thinking mind and recognize what thoughts really are. Especially thoughts that appear as hindrances. The repetitive inner critical thoughts, endless doubts, obsessive thinking about the future.What are thoughts made of? How long do they last?We are told in Buddhism to regard thought as another sense. What is this like? To notice the textural, auditorial, image-emotional experience of thinking.What happens when during a meditation period or in your daily life you turn attention to the thinking mind, to attend to the thought stream?When we see thoughts for what they are, they have less power over us. We don’t have to believe or even identify with everything we think—we also don’t need to get a in struggle with our thoughts.This teaching and practice empowers us to be more discerning. We use our thinking minds throughout the day—planning, reflecting, reasoning, contemplating, conversing.And it is possible to use the mind, without being used by the mind.This poem is inviting us to recognize the root of the thinking mind. The root of the thinking mind, is the root of all things. When we know experientially the true nature of the thinking mind which includes: doubt, inner critic, worry, anxiety, judgement, planning, other people’s thoughts, views, perspectives—then they have less power over us.Then everything turns around, we can see the light, bodhicitta— within each thought and/or emotion—no matter the content.Dahui, as great Zen teacher of the 12C says it this way in a letter to one of his students.This very moment just cease to entertain thought, putting an end to the confused mind. Then you will know that there is no delusion to be destroyed, no awakening to be aspired to, and no discriminatory thought to be cut off. With time erroneous views will disappear of themselves, and you will be like a person drinking water and knowing for themselves whether it is hot or cold.The mind that is clearly aware of discriminatory thought taking place—how can this mind possibly be obstructed? How can there possibly be any other kind of mind than this one?Since times of old the wise have taken to discriminatory thought like dragons to water and tigers to mountains. They regard discriminatory thought as a companion, employing such thought as upaya, and on the basis of discriminatory thought practice universal compassion and carry out all sorts of buddha deeds. For them, discriminatory thought is never a source of suffering because they understand its source. Once the source of discriminatory thought is fathomed it becomes the locus of liberation and of release from samsara.May we recognize the source of all thoughts and find freedom and love in our nature!Thank you! For the month of November Mud Lotus Sangha is sending 50% of our donations to the Clintonville-Beechwold Community Resource Center to help those in our neighborhood who are struggling with food insecurity this month. All of our communities can use extra support and there are many ways to practice generosity. Thank you for all the ways that you show generosity to me and the other beings in your life.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Faith in Mind poem by the 3rd Chinese Ancestor.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Save the Dates! 2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer a

Calling all you hungry heartsEverywhere through endless timeYou who wander, you who thirstI offer you, this Bodhi MindCalling all you hungry spiritsAll the lost and the left behindGather round and share this mealYour joy and your sorrow, I make it mine. —KanromonGiving awakens the unbounded heart. What in our lives isn’t already shared? If we open to all the inter-relationships that make up our lives, we begin to see that this life is vast, and full of uncounted kindnesses.In the Zen tradition, we have ceremonies and rituals for awakening unbounded generosity. One seasonal ceremony is Sejiki, the Ceremony for the Hungry Ghost. During the ceremony we offer on the altar something for the hungry heart—the part of us that looks for satisfaction in things that often bring more pain, confusion and harm to ourselves and others.We often fear the hungry ghost. We sometimes feel haunted by it. We often feel a lot of shame around what it reaches for, want it seems to want.This ceremony invites us to meet this energy, this part of us—from a place of non-judgmental acceptance, loving kindness, curiosity.Welcoming them out of the shadows, we feed them an offering of something that they truly desire, consciously—with awareness—we let ourselves feel their hunger, as well as perhaps the nourishment of generosity, of kind acceptance and care. What happens when we when make an offering to our ghosts from a place of unbounded generosity and love?We practice Sejiki once a year, but the spirit of making offerings to the hungry heart can continue beyond this one ceremony. Transformation often happens through sustained care, dedication and vow. Below are some daily rituals I have practiced in relationship to the hungry heart.* Making offerings on my personal altar—I have a plate or bowl on my altar where I place offerings to my hungry heart. Whenever I interact with my altar, before or after meditation—I see the offering and have an opportunity to connect with the part of me that hungers.* Offering a bite of food—this practice comes from the Zen practice of oryoki, where we place a few morsels of food in an offering dish for the hungry heart with the prayer, “may all be equally nourished.” The offerings in the dish can be placed outside or in the compost feeding whoever next comes in contact with them.* Chanting the Kanromon—at the monastery we would chant the Chant to the Hungry Spirits or Kanromon every October. When I was on a two month private retreat and feeling the energies of the hungry heart strongly, I chanted this chant before every meal and sometimes more. Its a song about offering, about turning towards those lost and left behind with unbounded generosity. If you want to sing along, here is a recording of Krishna Das singing the Kanromon.Thank you! For the month of November Mud Lotus Sangha is sending 50% of our donations to the Clintonville-Beechwold Community Resource Center to help those in our neighborhood who are struggling with food insecurity this month. All of our communities can use extra support and there are many ways to practice generosity. Thank you for all the ways that you show generosity to me and the other beings in your life.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Faith in Mind poem by the 3rd Chinese Ancestor.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Save the Dates! 2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

I am currently spending some time with this beautiful teaching poem, Affirming Faith in Mind as part of Autumn Ango through ZCO. As I was reading it this week, I thought about how would I summarize this teaching in one sentence. I came up with:Everything’s Included on the Path!Everything is included. Maybe it seems too simple, too obvious. And yet, how often are we looking outside of our experience for satisfaction, the answer, some-thing-else. How could it be that our doubt, fear, the wars and violence we bear witness to, as well as the love, pain, empathy, grief, sadness we feel is part of awakening? That anything the mind thinks, or the body feels. Not just the good feelings, the spiritual thoughts—but everything. Everything is included, is an expression of the Awakened Heart. Is liberation itself.If everything is included. What does that mean for our living? For our practice? Maybe best not to try to make meaning of it. But to practice, to live with this inquiry. For faith is something we discover through our embodiment.So we can ask, we can invite—Can I practice here? With these emotions? In this relationship? In this political environment? With this activation? When I am triggered or hurting—what does practice look like, where can I find refuge?Sometimes we imagine that if our meditation or dharma practice was “working” we would get immediate relief from the challenging emotion, the pain, the difficult belief. Or we would have the answer about how to respond to the complex relational and societal patterns we are a part of. Though sometimes astonishingly this does happen. I find that practice often offers a little more space, to be with and recognize things as they are.Practicing the all-inclusive heart can take many forms. At this time of year in the Zen Buddhist tradition we have rituals for turning towards the monstrous, neglected, wayward, confused, unruly energies in ourselves and the world—energies that we are often trying to control, get-in-line or banish. One Hundred Demons Night ParadeAt Mud Lotus Sangha on Sunday night we did a practice of the 100 Demons Night Parade. It was inspired by a scroll that the 17th Century Zen Master, Hakuin Zenji painted. The 100 Demons Night Parade or Hyakki Yagyo is a procession of the supernatural from Japanese folklore, that artists would often attempt to depict. It is said that Hakuin allowed his inner demons to take form and join this other worldly night parade.So we drew our demons, inner enemies, monsters, hungry ghosts—as a practice and way of expressing inner thoughts/feelings through art. Many people remarked that what feels scary or frightening inside—actually looked scared on paper. Others said that they recognized that all their demons seemed connected around a fundamental belief or feeling. We taped our pictures on the wall. It felt easy in that form to accept and love these creatures—that represented our challenges, fears, pains and struggles, the parts of ourselves that at times feel difficult to love. They were cute, awkwardly fearsome, sad and lonely beings. What is a demon, anyway?The 12th Century Tibetan Yogini Machig Labdron defines a demon as “whatever appears to hinder liberation—awakening to true nature.”What hinders awakening? Can anything hinder awakening?Yet, sometimes we feel hindered. Sometimes awakening seems 100 demons away.Machig Labdron categorized these “demons” or apparent hinderances to liberation into four categories.* Outer Demons—situations and circumstances outside of our control, this includes other people, organizations, institutions, diseases, wars, relationships that we tend to blame or feel burdened by in some way* Inner Demons—the thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, beliefs that we have a tendency to identify with, evade, push away, attempt to control or fight with this can include pain, irritation, rage, fear, anxiety, doubt, unworthiness, shame, disappointment, sadness, feeling not-good-enough, etc. (she also called the inner demons, the demons that go on and on and on…referring to mind’s capacity to constantly generate/pick-up on new information, stories, memories, etc)* Demons of Elation—pride and the good feelings that we tend to identify with but in doing so they make us feel as if we are superior to others* The Demon of Self-Clinging—our mis-identification with this elusive sense of self and our strategies of “selfing”Machig developed a practice for meeting these demons with wise unconditional love. A practice that sprung from her own meditation experience. One night she was meditating in a tree over a lake when suddenly the Naga-protector of the lake appeared and threatened her. Instead of retreating in fear or engaging in a fight with the Naga, Machig offered her body. The Naga-protector was so moved by Machig’s selfless generosity that he offered to be her protector.Making Friends with the MonstrousThe practice Machig developed is called Chod. It is a practice of all inclusive awareness, where everythi

Deep Autumn Greetings Fellow Travelers of the Way!As autumn becomes us, I have been contemplating darkness and the creaturely way my body seems to respond to the cold-dark. Maybe you too feel a little more intimate with the night and the dark creature of the body at this time of year. Sometimes I feel, and I know others feel, that we are living in dark times—and whether this feels true for you—I think we all know something about the dark. Whether its as the seasonal darkening of autumn, energetic darkness, or political, personal, emotional, technological, relational, spiritual—darkness is often something we fear or feel uneasy about.Is it what is potentially lurking in the dark, or the darkness itself that sends shivers up the spine, drops dread in the gut, and perpetuates a sense of an impending doom?We often invoke darkness when hope feels sparse. When the way ahead feels hard, dismal, heavy, untenable or uncertain. Will we be ok? Will those we love be safe? Will the things we value and care about continue to be available?Dharma teachings throughout time remind us that there is a light within the dark. Call it bodhi, the awakened heart, vow, love. When we recognize even just an ember of this light—liberation is unstoppable. I feel grateful for my dharma friend Taishin Michael Augustin for reminding me of the unstoppable nature of bodhi this week. Having friends and practice companions on this path is essential. Our warm hearts and bright minds can point out a path together, footstep by footstep through whatever apparent darkness. I’m grateful for the many teachers, guides and friends that grace my life—they are truly bright points of light in this great mystery.Sometimes, and I imagine you have experienced this as well, we even find the dark nourishing in itself. The dark invites unknowing, unbecoming, self-forgetting, openness, mystery, shunyata. Darkness is alive—emergent, subtle, bright.darkness is the home from which we come—zen koanJogen and I will be exploring this theme of the Bright Dark in our upcoming non-residential retreat at Deep Waters in Portland, OR. What is your relationship to the dark? What happens when you get curious about the darkness? Is there a bright thread in the dark in your life? How do you nurture it? Universe Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.During this retreat you will be invited to give expression to a full-range of energetic experience some of which may be familiar and comfortable, others which may challenge core implicit beliefs about who you are and what you do. We will be engaging in practices using our voices and our bodies, integrating movement and stillness, sound and silence.The retreat will commence on Thursday January 22nd from 7-9pm. The schedule on Friday and Saturday will run from 9am to 9pm with two separate two hour breaks for lunch and dinner. Sunday will conclude the retreat and we will meet from 9am-2pm.You, Darkness by Rilke You, darkness, that I come from I love you more than all the fires that fence in the world, for the fire makes a circle of light for everyone and then no one outside learns of you. But the darkness pulls in everything- shapes and fires, animals and myself, how easily it gathers them! - powers and people- and it is possible a great presence is moving near me. I have faith in nights. Faith in the Heart-MindThe Great Way is not difficult for those who do not pick and choose. When preferences are cast aside, the Way stands clear and un-disguised. But even slight distinctions made set earth and heaven far apart. If you would clearly see the truth, discard opinions pro and con. To founder in dislike and like is nothing but the mind’s disease. And not to see the Way’s deep truth disturbs the mind’s essential peace. The Way is perfect like vast space, where there’s no lack and no excess. Our choice to choose and to reject prevents our seeing this simple truth.Another light in the dark this autumn is the Faith Mind poem of the early Chan tradition. The podcast episode above is an exploration into the practice of awakening faith in ourselves as we walk this path of liberation in our lives. A reminder that the light of awareness is always right here, and that we can recognize this light for ourselves. The poem is an invitation to recognize Mind beyond thought and discrimination. An appeal to the seeker in us that knows that all that arises is the Way.We are exploring this poem

Polarization & PlayPolarization (def)—division into two sharply contrasting groups, sets of opinions or beliefs. When we stop seeing similarity or what is shared, but only see difference. When difference becomes a threat.Play (def)— to engage in something for enjoyment or for sport. Be cooperative. Try something out.I want to say, we are living in a polarized time. But I find myself questioning each word. I look for polarization and find it in my social media feed, in the news, in my own inner dialogue —as certain views and opinions claim their rightness about what I should or should not do, believe or say.But, I don’t see such polarization in the setting sun, the migrating monarch butterfly who is sitting on this sunflower, here in my front garden. It seems like the monarch, the sun, the sky and serenading cicadas are not so concerned with the rifts of mind or media feed.Is it disrespectful to place play near the gravity of polarization, when Webster warns that play has nothing to do with serious things and when politicians are using words like “civil war?”Play is actually an important quality for awakening, for living in divisiveness—for it is an invitation to bring curiosity to righteousness, shame spirals, fear loops and the other players in polarized thinking.Play as LiberationThe play I want to invite is the play of liberation. The play that is invoked in the Mahayana Sutra of Vimalakirti. A sutra that emerged in an in-between-time in Buddhist history. Where there were forces in power who believed they had the “right” teachings, the correct practices to transcend this painful world of suffering and enter nirvana.Yet another view was emerging right in the midst of the dominant one. A view that seemed to turn the whole tradition on its head. A view, a practice, a teaching that pointed to the profound path of liberation that could be recognized by seeing through all views—awakening to the empty-yet-apparent nature of all form and concept. This view pointed to a liberation that was based in the direct experience of interdependence, where no one is separate from anyone else—where this world and this body are the place and vehicle for living an awakened life. This was the emergence of the way of the bodhisattva.An Extraordinary ImprobabilityThe teaching came through a sick man living the life of a householder in India. His name was Vimalakirti and was considered a great bodhisattva and teacher of the non-dual way. When asked why he was sick Vimalakirti replied: “I am sick, because the world is sick.”Joan Sutherland in her book Vimalakirti and The Awakened Heart says this about the Bodhisattva. “Vimalakirti embodies a number of provocative dualities in addition to being a sick bodhisattva: he’s a rich man who gives all of his money to the poor, someone who lives among family, but remains solitary, has children and frequents brothels but remains celibate, goes to bars, but doesn’t get drunk…The koans speak of him as an extraordinary improbability.”The sutra in its in-between-ness is considered a precursor to both the koan tradition of Chan and the tantric tradition of the Vajrayana. The sutra has well-known characters from the Buddhist pantheon such as the elder monk Shariputra and the Bodhisattva Manjushri engaging in discourse with this layman Vimalakirti and the goddess who happens to live in his room completely unseen until the middle of the story.The Goddess’s TransformationsAt some point in the story the goddess makes her appearance, and we are told that she had always been there (another nod to the incipient koan tradition: how can someone who has always been here, appear?)As she appears flowers rain down, falling to the feet of the Bodhisattvas but sticking to the robes of the elder monks. Shariputra is quite disturbed by this flower affixing itself to his robe—he has made a vow not to adorn himself with the fragrance and flamboyance of a flower.The goddess engages him here, asking him to show her the nature of flowerness.Their conversation spans topics such as the nature of self-obsession and liberation, before Shariputra asks the goddess why she continues to be a woman, when surely being male would be preferable for she would have a chance at liberation.This opens up a dialogue captured in Case 58 of the Hidden Lamp“I have looked for the innate characteristics of the female form to no avail. How can I change them? If a magician created the illusion of a woman, would you ask her, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra replied, “No. Such a woman would not really exist, so what would there be to transform?”She said, “Just so. All things do not really exist, so how can you ask something that doesn’t exist to change its form?”Then the goddess, by supernatural power, changed Shariputra into a likeness of herself and changed herself into a likeness of Shariputra and asked, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra cried, “I no longer appear in th